Apples and Oranges: Property of a Redwood Original
by Valentina LaFontaine
Summary: A collection of stories of misadventure, romance and humor. However in the midst of the nonsense there is a story, told through the eyes of Apollonia Naranjas, Tig's former old lady.
1. Bedazzled Tiara

Apples he called me.

Short for Apollonia. I loved the way he said my name. I loved the way he said anything. I could listen to him read a telephone book and it would make me blush. Looking back I couldn't believe it had been seven years that we had been together. If you could call us broken up. Every time shit gets tough whose the one he comes to? Me of course. Seven years that seemed to mesh together in a blur. I don't know if that's good or bad but that's what it is. He's told me things that his brothers have never known and will never find out. Some of it is the most disturbing shit. We both came from screwed up homes and the same town. He showed me things that I never thought I would do. To Charming and his brothers he was Tig. Sergeant-at-Arms, psychopath, crazy, unstable, unpredictable and above all very trigger happy. Too trigger happy. But to me he was just Alex. Loyal, loving, father of my two beautiful girls, sweet in a awkward sort of way, but not always in that order.

Well I think you get it. Honestly I don't remember how we met, all I remember is that it was spring in '94. I saw him every couple of times when the Sons would pass by the nail salon I worked at when I was on my raspberry lemonade and cigarette break. I walked past them a few times while they were sitting out there on their bikes. I didn't catch who whistled at me, but I did see Tig staring at my ass and giving me that cocky smile of his. I wasn't in the mood for none of their shit. So I kept walking.

To be honest I think he was stalking me. I saw him in a bookstore, then at a restaurant, then when I saw him just happen to pass by when I was buying new sunglasses. When Tracy (my then best friend) and I went into a gag shop. Here I was wearing a bedazzled tiara and huge sunglasses when who pulled up? The Sons of Anarchy and while everyone else was wandering off minding their own business, he walked into the gag shop. Alright that's when I had enough. Tracy grabbed me by the arm and warned me not to do anything stupid. He was apart of the biggest MC in Charming. I shrugged her off and walked up to him.

Was I scared of him you'd might ask? Of course! Not only was he Sergeant-at-Arms, but he is six foot two, I am five foot flat. But I had an amazing poker face and wasn't going to let him see it. I walked up to that bastard and looked up at him. Like seriously I couldn't believe I was that short. "Excuse me." I said, after taking a few brave breathes.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you following me?"

He gave me that false look like he had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. "It's a small town." he said."It's possible that I could see you every once in awhile. You know?"

"Right. I just happen to see you and your crew everywhere, every time I step outside my door, right?"

"Yes." He said with a cunning smile. I rolled my eyes and folded my arms when I realized that his face looked blue. Really blue. Then it hit me, I still had those stupid sunglasses on my face. I tried my best not to turn red as a beet but it didn't work. I took the glasses off casually like I meant to do that and tossed them back in the bin where they came from.. He started laughing at me. "Don't worry you really scared me with those goddamn things on your face."

"Shut up." I said holding back a laugh. I found a wand to match my bedazzled tiara. "Where are your friends?"

"Oh, uh, I don't know." he said picking through the gags and what not. I didn't know what to say. "Well you can tell them to stop following me." I said with a smile that seemed to come out. I'm not going to lie he was a handsome guy. It was hard to play tough around him. I hadn't been in a relationship in several months. I avoided guys mostly, especially guys like him. Never again.

"Only if you tell me your name."

"Why so you can look up where I live?" I asked, half joking.

"No, I already know where that is." I wasn't sure if he was kidding or he was serious and reading his face did absolutely no good. "Um, okay." I said. I looked up at him and I noticed that he had the prettiest blue eyes I had ever seen. The type where you could get lost in. They looked as blue as the beach sea. My favorite place in the entire world. I did my best to not look at them, but I failed at that as well. "I'll tell you my name, only if you tell me yours first." I said.

"Alex Trager." he said. "But you can call me Tig."

"Really? I like Alex better."

"I don't."

"Apollonia Naranjas." I said extending my hand. He shook it.

"What is that Spanish?"

"Not Apollonia. It's Greek."

"I'm gonna call you Apples."

"Fair enough." From the corner of my eye I saw his crew hop on their bikes. Someone (I don't remember who) motioned for him to come on. "Well you better go before your friends have a fit." I said.

"See you around." he said.

"Oh I know you will." I adjusted the tiara on my head and Tracy placed an arm around me as I watched him walk away. "Well we should go to one of their parties."

"No way man." I said taking off the tiara and putting the wand back. "Why not?" she argued. I knew why Tracy wanted to go. She just never had the balls to go on her own. She wanted to hook up with some of the members. I knew her game. She wanted to live the wild life, drink, sleep around and party, then move to Hollywood, score some rich guy, then have a story to tell with all her rich friends on how she walked on the dark side of the moon for a bit. I knew Tracy. As much as she tried to make herself look like she was down with the Charming lifestyle she was still from San Francisco.

"C'mon it'll be fun. I heard he's a real deviant if you know what I mean." She said elbowing me in the shoulder. I rolled my eyes. "If you want him, Tracy you can have him."

"No, I don't want him. I'm looking out for your needs. It's been months since you last got laid. I think it would do you some good." What did she record my sexual experiences on her Hello Kitty calender? Weird.

"I appreciate the concern but I'm not going to screw him because he has a cut and a Harley. That doesn't impress me." But that was reason enough for me. He was a pretty handsome guy.

"Well, then don't get to know him for his cut. Just get to know him."

Goddamn I hated when Tracy was right, and fuck me she was mostly right. "Fine, I'll go to one party. I bet he's a self righteous prick." I was rationalizing not going to the party. I wasn't a party girl. Never has been and most likely never will. Yeah I would go to parties every once in awhile and maybe have a drink or two. But it wasn't part of my dailly life. I'm boring. Sorry I can't help it.

"And if he is, you can sleep with him and spread the rumor that he's a horrible lover." Tracy giggled. Clever my red headed friend. Very clever.

"But what if he isn't?"

"Then you're a damn good sport." she said with a smile. "C'mon lets get a drink." She grabbed my hand and we walked out together.


	2. The Eye

So I didn't go to the SAMCRO party. Every time I had the chance I chickened out. I didn't want to seem too eager. That wouldn't be playing fair. So I pretended like the thought hadn't even crossed my mind. That and it was my passive agressive way of getting back at Tracy for hounding me about it. Tracy and I were looking at magazines and were chatting on bean bag chairs when she said. "So when are you really going to go to the party with me?"

I turned the page from the news on R.E.M's new album and a couple more on Kurt Cobain's recent death. Shame, the thing he tried to escape from followed him to the death. That stinks. I was a grunge kid when I was younger so I took his death very personally. I went through a big time depression when I heard that news. I was tempted to go to his funeral in Seattle. But I digress.

My brain finally registered that Tracy had spoken. I looked up from the magazine and flipped the page again. Jar of Flies by Alice in Chains advertisement popped up. I really had to buy that album.

"When Mr. Trager asks me himself to come to a party." Tracy rolled her eyes and looked up from her magazine. "Really?" she said, with a shake of her head. "He's not going to ask you."

"Then he wasn't worth my time eh?" I looked back at the magazine. Tracy shook her head and pushed her red hair behind her ear. "That's so old fashioned, Apps." she said. Maybe it was. But I wasn't going to throw myself at him, I didn't need him. It wasn't liike I wanted the title of Old Lady, and being part of a motorcycle gang. Damn I should've gone to Brooklyn when I had the chance.

"If a guy really likes a girl (and in recent cases men as well) he'll go through every hurdle just to get to her and prove to her that she's special. He's got women falling over him. I am not going to be another sweet butt for him to claim." I looked back at the magazine. Now I was just breezing through it, but I did see Trent Reznor. Yum. Tracy rolled shook her head. "Which is why you'll never score one of them."

"I don't want one of them. Why do I need them?" I asked. Perhaps Ms. Dulock wasn't always right. Tracy couldn't come up with a good answer so she dropped the subject. "Oh damn, I need to get my car's oil changed. Want to come after work?" Tracy asked.

Of course I didn't want to. So what was I going to do? Sit there with a horny friend in a crummy old repair shop and make small talk with some creepy fat guy who insists on sitting next to me? But what other option was there? Get stalked my Mr. Trager, talk to the Koreans who worked with me? No. So I'm damned.

"Sure." I agreed.

So here I was sitting at the Teller-Morrow Shop alone. Tracy who used to be my best friend has been put on probation. She abandoned me to talk to some guy she saw who was supposedly giving her "the eye". I would like to meet a man who never gave Tracy Dulock "the eye". So I walked around the shop noticing the pictures of half naked ladies tacked up on the wall (Yuck) and giving the occasional awkward smile to some guy who was also waiting for the news on his car. As if this show could not get any better, guess who worked at the shop.

Mr. Trager. Oh I should've known.

Since Tracy was busy as always, I had to step in. I flashed him my best professional smile and I replied. "Hello. Hows are car?"

"Good. She should be out in a few."

"Thank you." I said, turning my back. Whew that was easy.

"Hey, Apples?" he said. Okay, maybe not. I turned back around, still smiling like a idiot.. "Yes, Alex?" I asked. "What's up?" he asked, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Nothing. Bored stiff. Just admiring the classy pictures of the female airbrushed physique." I said pointing to a girl in a bikini. "And yourself? Working hard or hardly working?" I laughed, smacking him hard on the arm which hurt me more than it hurt him. He didn't laugh. "Sorry." I said, scratching the back of my head. He laughed that time. "I'm about to get off from work." he said.

"Oh that's good." I looked at my nails. I needed to redo the middle on my left hand as soon as possible.

"You know what you're doing later?" he asked.

"Maybe. Why?"

"Come and grab something to eat with me." I crossed my arms and rasied an eyebrow. "So are you asking me or are you telling me?" He shrugged. "Which ever you want."

"When do you get off?" I asked.

"In five minutes."

"Where are we going?"

"You like burgers?"

"I'm a vegetarian." He frowned. "You don't eat meat?" he asked me. I rolled my eyes. "No shit, Sherlock." I said holding back a laugh. "Hence the name vegetarian." He looked distastefully at me. Jeez, these guys took their meat seriously. I shook my head. "No I was being difficult." I said.

"I take you up on your offer." I said with a smile and walked away. "But don't keep me waiting or I might lose interest."

"Yes, your majesty." he said with a mock bow.

I sat outside the shop tapping my toe waiting for him. He changed out of his oily work clothes and into his cut and a dark pair of jeans and boots. "We're hopping a ride on your motorcycle?" I asked.

"No we're going to fly." he said tossing me a helmet.

Oh no I suck at catching. Lucky for me it was a short distance. I hate my stubby midget person arms. I put the helmet on and hopped backseat. He looked back to make sure I wasn't scuffing the paint on his baby or anything. I was tempted to wrap my arms around him, even though I wanted to badly. He started up his bike and looked behind me. "You going to hang on or what?" he asked.

I wrapped my arms around him. Damn that felt good. I so wanted to explore him but I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. At least not yet. I never been on the back of a motorcycle besides my older brother's dirt bike. He drove really well, and it was actually pretty cool. The wind blowing through your hair, the freedom of the road. It was pure amazing. I was sad when we pulled up into the local burger joint.

It was pretty nice. I hadn't been in there since I was hanging with my brother and his friends which was about two years ago and it still looked the same. It was just like a guy he ordered a burger and fries. I had a small salad. Not because I was worried about my weight (I never did) but I wasn't hungry. Especially after watching him gobble down that crap on a plate like he had never eaten before.

"I'm not going to steal your food, you know that right?"

He nodded his head.

"Do I have to spit on my food to keep you from taking it?"

He shook his head. I looked through the dessert menu. "You want something sweet to eat?" I asked. He nodded. "I love the cheesecake here. And the chocolate chip cookies!" I was getting excited looking at the sweets. I felt like such a fat ass.

"If you want it, go and get it."

I ordered three cheesecakes and a couple of cookies. Nothing could ever beat chocolate chip cookies with cheesecake, and a wad of cool whip. If they had more strawberry sauce it would've been perfect. I knew he was jealous. I could see him staring at it. "Want some?" I asked. He nodded. "Yep, I'm paying so I claim it." he said. I gave him a slice and he ate all of it just as quickly as he did the burger and fries.

"It's really good." he said.

"Try a cookie." I said waving one around in his face. I wasn't expecting it but he ate the cookie from my hand. We both started cracking up laughing. "Does your boss starve you or something?" I asked. "Like little Chinese kids in a sweat shop?"

"No. I forgot to take a lunch." I scoffed. You don't have to have someone tell you to eat. You just know. It's like going to the bathroom. You don't have to set a sticky note to your arm or something to go to the bathroom. You just know. "How do you forget to eat?"

"I don't know." he said.

"I make better cookies." I said randomly, taking a small bite from the last cookie. "You know, not to brag or anything."

"Make me some." he ordered.

"Psh," I teased. "You have to deserve my cookies. I don't just hand them out."

"Whatever." he said, flashing me that look from those baby blue eyes. I noticed I was staring at them again so I looked away and pretended to be interested in the scuff mark on my boot.

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_Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone. :] I might recorrect some of this later, I just wanted to get this out of the way. Thank you. _


	3. Foot Fetish

"Careful.." Tig said as I was poking the a Janga playing piece out from the middle. It was almost out when he exclaimed. "Don't mess up!" I jumped a bit and it almost knocked over but it didn't tip.

"HA!" I said pointing and laughing at him. "In your face, Trager."

"It's not over yet." he said, pushing one piece from the bottom out and putting it at the top. Damn, that was almost too smooth. "It's not over till the fat lady sings."

We were so bored that I actually pulled out Janga we played every card game in the book and I didn't have all the parts to Clue so Janga it was. He came over just to hang out. I don't know why he wasn't getting anything, not like the pussy he could get at that SAMCRO party which by the way Tracy decided to go to. I wondered how she was holding up. He didn't want to do Janga, or play cards but I pretty much forced him into since there wasn't anything good on tv. Around two o'clock in the morning I was painting my toenails. Perfect color red.

I noticed him staring at my toes. I put them on his chest and said "Blow on the please?" I asked in my sweet voice. He must've had a foot fetish because he grabbed my foot and blew. Just when the mood was right like Lady and the Tramp munching on spaghetti I hear a flapping coming from my room. I turned around, and I froze. "What was that?" he asked.

How am I suppose to know? Does it say psychic on my forehead? "Don't know." I said. We both walked to my room, and then we saw something flap in our faces. It was creepy looking, weird, and had vicious teeth. Oh shit!

"Bat!" I screamed running away, Tig following behind me. "Shit!" I screamed. Rodents pretty much scared me. Especially bats. "Kill it!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Alright, alright." He said trying to calm me down. That goddamn bat was flying around erratically. "Want me to shoot it?" he asked.

"Are you kidding me?!" I exclaimed. "You can't be shooting a gun in this neighborhood! Just kill it!" He grabbed one of the pipes that was in my apartment that the other tennants had left. I never gotten around to throwing it away. He was waiting to get a clear shot, but the bat never came close enough. The bat must've decided to actually murder us because he went lunging at me. I went running for my life when I heard a crunch, bang and something fly hitting my wall. I instinctly closed my eyes, and waited for some sort of sign to open them. "Okay it's dead." I heard him say. I opened my eyes and the bat was lying in a crumped pile next to my couch. Tig had hit it so hard it landed all the way across the other side of the room. What did I say to my savior? Think of the first thing anyone could say to someone who had just saved their life from a bloodraged Jack the Ripper bat?

Thank you?

You're a real friend?

Here's a hug?

Nope.

"Eww." I said, frowning. "Can't believe you touched that." Wow, I need to work on my Damsel in distress act.

"Did you want me to let it bite you?"

"No."

"Alright then!" he said, pushing his hair back. "So do yourself a favor and say thank you." I sighed and got on my tippy toes and kissed his cheek. "Thank you." I said. He shook his head like he wasn't sure if I was being sincre but I was. But I wasn't going to tell him. He had to figure out the difference for himself.

So then there was the task of how to get rid of the body. He threw the pipe and the dead bat into a trash bag and threw it out there for the garbage men to pick up. Except I realized they didn't come and pick that shit up until Monday. Today was Saturday. It was going to smell so bad but there was nothing we could do so we ignored that small fact. I was cleaning up the mess that the corpse left. I was scrubbing the walls and the floor when he noticed something. "You have a nice ass." he said.

That took me off guard for a second. "I know." I said. "It's a shame you might never have it."

"Don't say never. It could happen."

"You'll have to do more than play Janga to even think about it."

"Ha." he said. Don't get cocky Mr. Trager. Remember who exactly you're talking to. "We'll see."

"Yeah we'll see alright." I said, scrubbing the last of the bat goo on my wall.

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_Thank you to all those who reviewed my story. I appreciate it all._


	4. Mae West

So I finally gave in and went to this SAMCRO party. I was suppose to be honored but honestly I was bored. Girls wearing barely anything and doing things that would make Mae West seem as dignified as Princess Diana. So of course I sat by myself sipping a water (I don't drink), moving away from drunk sweaty gross guys and getting beer thrown on me from girls slipping and sliding around on the bikers laps. Like I said, not a party girl. I'd take a quiet evening at home reading a book, than be here giving handjobs to guys that I won't even remember the next morning. Plus Tig was nowhere in sight. He told me he would be here. I got stood up. Now I can take the slippery walk out the door because I got dumped. Not that we were a item or anything, it still I don't know. Hurt. He probably got distracted by some blonde wearing too much make up and way too little clothes on and now he was getting some rockin' head from her. The mental pictures are just unbearable at this point.

So I got my purse and was about to walk out when I saw a black haired tan skin man get in my way. Looks like Casanova has come back from his bed chambers but I didn't see the chick. She probably went out the window to avoid the walk of shame. Not like anyone was paying attention but you know how you get when you're aware you did something wrong and you think everyone knows and every snicker or whisper you swear it's you. Even though no one cares. I pretended like I didn't see him and kept on walking.

"Whoah. Where are you going?" he asked putting his arm out in front of me. I was pissed off so I walked past him, with my nose in the air. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back. "No seriously, where are you going?"

"You said be here by nine and here I am." I said arms folded, and using neck motions. I was already starting to act like my Puerto Rican mom. Mirror, mirror on the wall I am my mother after all. "Yeah?" he said, like time doesn't continue. "I've been waiting here an hour for you-."

"Yeah I know club business." he said cutting me off. Right, right. Whatever. You could've at least said something to someone, left a note or gave me one of those Italian mafia signs like in the Godfather. There has to be a symbol for I'll be there soon, don't leave yet so I don't look like a total lonely shit. I was so floored that I wanted to just leave, but I didn't. Okay yeah it would be such a bitch move, he's in this club after all. It's his first, last and always. But if he wanted me too he had to squeeze in time.

"Well next time let me know, okay?" I said softening my expression. "I'm not one of these-." I had no word for them as I looked at the lot of them. They probably permanently smelled like sex and shame. "Things you can screw over."

"I know." he said, roughing up my hair. I hit his hand and straighten my hair. I didn't work hard on it, I just brushed it but still. "So what do we do now? I already got to know that guy." I said pointing to some hairy, fat guy who was drinking booze from off some other girl. "He tried flirt with me and called me a dyke when I said no."

"Oh, Bobby?" he said, shrugging and grabbing a couple of beers. "Don't worry about him." He handed one to me. Oh so many decisions to make. Shall I take the beer and take one step towards being another drunk groupie who will puke her guts up onto a dirty floor the next morning? Or shall I be a party pooper and take being sober and laugh while everyone else is dancing around like idiots. Such a hard decision. Oh well, I guess one beer can't do no harm. So I took it. I've been drinking my dads cheap beer since I was six (well not drink but sip) and I still couldn't get used to the taste. But I pretended like I enjoyed it.

So now where does the conversation begin. I could talk about how good he looked today. I could talk about the blueberry I finally got out from in between my back teeth. Or I could talk about the fact that this chair has some serious splinters that were pinching my ass. We were sitting at a table to ourselves and nothing to talk about. I looked at my nails and blew a few strands out hair out my face. In my thoughts I started swaying to the music in my head. Can't touch this by the now broke MC Hammer was playing around. Tracy and I were dancing and reminsicing about dancing to this when we were kids. Except the song wouldn't leave so it was playing over and over in my head. So in response to this I swayed. It happens but, it's probably one of the most awkward things I can do. I didn't realize I was doing it until, Tig frowned and asked. "What the hell are you doing?"

I stopped. "What was I doing?" I asked. I knew what I was doing, but I didn't want to seem like I was a complete idiot.

"This." he said swaying, mimicking me with a dumb look on his face. I didn't look that bad Alexander and he knew it.

"I was thinking." I said. "And I didn't look that dumb."

"So you sway when you think?" he asked. I never thought about it but yeah I guess I do. Wow, you learn something new everyday. "Yeah." I said with a smile then started swaying more. Wow this beer really does pack a whallope, maybe I'm just a lightweight. He started laughing at me. Like cracking up laughing at me.

"Goof." he managed to say through his laugh.

"Not uh!" I said, drinking another few gulps of beer. I wiped my mouth and pointed to the bartender. "I want another one." He nodded and handed me another one and I downed that one like no tomorrow. Now I felt like I was in the mood for a party. "Lets dance." I said grabbing for his hand, but I missed and hit the table. I don't know how I did that. I don't drink. "I can't dance." he said.

"Please." I said in a pouty voice, pulling him. He reluctantly got up and placed a hand on my waist and I slow danced with me, even though the music was fast. It was awkward. I was barely over five feet and he was six two. Even in heels we looked so awkward together, but somehow we seemed to fit. Like that puzzle piece you force into the other ones. It fits, sort of until the puzzle begins to come together but that's beyond the point. I put my head on his chest as I looked at the blonde girls, who may or may not have been be natural blondes. They seemed so generic. Same personalities, same goals, same dumb look on their face. I pointed to one of them. "So why don't you go for them?" I asked. "Blonde, dumb, fake tits, short skirt who would bend at your every whim. Why not them? Why are you dancing with me?"

"Yeah they're fuckable." he said. Brutal honesty but okay.

"Well, yeah." I said, nodding in agreement. "But I'm not either of those things. So why waste your time? You haven't gotten anything so far."

"Well black birds are more interesting than swans."

"Black birds are vicious." I explained, with my eyebrow up. Wasn't sure where he was going with this but he better not be calling me some sort of psycho. He was the one stalking me! Remember that. "Crows and ravens can be really cold."

"Yeah but so are swans. They just don't show it."

"So why go for the raven?"

"Cause what's the fun on hiding it?" What?!

I rolled my eyes and laugh. "You make no sense. You're drunk."

"Drunk? Nah," he shook his head. "Just loose."

So by the time the party was dying down in a drunken sleep, Tig and I walked outside and it was raining. Not like drizzle raining, I mean like we were standing under Niagra Falls raining. I was pretty drunk by then so the rain amused me as we walked for a bit, for "fresh air". I loved the rain. It got me in a really romantic mood.

"I'm singing in the rain!" I started singing badly. I could kinda sing if I tried but not like my mother. "Just singing in the rain! What a glorious feeling, I'm happy again! I'm laughing at the clouds.." Then I forgot the words, but the show must go on. "Blah blah blah I've got a smile on my face, I walk down the lane with a happy refrain just singing in the rain!"

"Boo!" he said, almost tripping over his own foot. "You're horrible!" he said, with a drunken chuckle.

"Shut up!" I said breaking away from him to do my best impersonation of Gene Kelly dancing. I did pretty good for being drunk off my ass, well until I tripped and fell in the mud. "Ouch." I said laughing and holding up my hands for him to help pick me up. He did and we continued to walk to another part of the clubhouse that I never seen before and I don't remember where it was, even after that I still don't recall where exactly we were. I leaned against the wall, trying to keep my balance. I saw him wandering around and I held out my hands. "Come here." I said. He walked over and held my hand.

Strong hands, like my fathers. The other hand he ran his fingers through my hair, and slide his hand to my chin and lifted it up to see his eyes. Blue eyes. The rain left me unable to get on my tiptoes. I fell out my heels and fell straight forward, he caught me. I chuckled, "Sorry." I said. The longer the seconds ticked by the shorter the distance between us was until our lips clumsily came together. It was a drunken mess. He stumbled on me, slamming me more into the wall and I kept stepping on the sharp part of my heel. Talk about pain, that I didn't feel until the morning. I pulled up my dress and I slid off my favorite Victoria Secret black lace undies, and he unbuckled his pants. He picked me off the ground and pushed me against the wall so hard I felt like I was going to fall in it.

I know what you're thinking. I know you think that I was giving into him for his cut, status and everything that I could get from him but you're wrong! He was giving into me. I wanted to see how far I could go until I couldn't resists anymore. My victory not his. I hadn't gotten laid in so long I forgot what it felt like and he was amazing. Even standing up. Very rough which I didn't know I liked until then. You learn something new everyday but I learned two new things. How do you like them apples.

* * *

_I love how quickly I'm getting these chapters out._


	5. Hera

So after peeling myself off a cold floor naked with a pounding headache and a bruised ass I decided it was the right time to find my clothes and leave. So I did. In five hours, I managed to calm my hangover, take a shower, get a morning after pill and still had enough time to get some breakfast. How godly is that? So I had fun, time to move on. I thought he did too, until he went off on me like a raging woman who forgot to take her Midol. A few days later I was in the nail salon buffing some rich brats nails when I saw a flash of a cut enter through the door and standing next to me. I didn't bother looking up I knew it was him.

"What did I forget something?" I asked, not even bother to look at him just my customers nail.

"Yeah. Some goddamn respect." He said trying to maintain a level of calm. I looked at him finally and growled. "I'm with a customer. Could you please?" I said returning back to rich bitches nails. He shoved the chicks nails out the way, and pointed outside. "Now!"

"No." I replied. "Don't come at me like you own me." I said. Rich bitch glared at us but knew better than to interfere. "You do not own me!" I exclaimed. He was so goddamn angry I could read it in his face. "I can't talk to you for five fucking minutes!"

"No! Not now!" My boss Cindy walked up to me and placed a hand my shoulder. It made me jump a little. "It's okay dear. Just take a few minutes. I have your back." she said. I love you Cindy. If there is a God, you better get through the gates of heaven or there is no justice. I nodded and I grabbed my purse and walked out in front of him. Heel first like a Third Reich march. By the time we got outside I slammed my foot so hard on the pavement my toe hurt. "Where the hell do you get off?" I exclaimed. "Think you can barge in and talk to me like a damn child! You couldn't talk to me like an adult!"

"Where the hell do _you_ come off?" he said, getting in my face. "Walking off on me! Where's your manners!"

"Sure, sure." I said, barely able to light a cigarette from shaking with anger. "Blame this shit on me! What was I suppose to do? Wait till you dismissed me?!"

"No, but you didn't have to walk off like you didn't fucking know me!"

"Maybe you should've fucking called or dropped by or something along that nature instead of barging in at my job!" I flipped my hair off my shoulder and over my back. "Shit, I probably lost a customer because of your temper tantrum! So just go the hell away." I turned my back to him but I could feel him right behind me. And I mean right behind me.

"Go away, Tig." I said. He stood there, like a stubborn baby. I turned around and yelled at him at the top of my lungs. "GO!" He stood there with a smirk on his face. I knew there wasn't anything I could do. I was short, a woman and he's seen and dealt with tougher shit than a five foot flat half Jewish, Rican with a amazing sense of style. I was so frustrated I sat on a chair and crossed my arms.

He snickered. "You have a cute pout." he said.

Did he just forget what happened earlier? Jesus...

"Excuse me?" I said.

"You have a cute pout." he repeated. I glared at him, I thought he was mocking me. "No seriously you do. It's hard to stay mad at you." I didn't do anything wrong, so theres no reason for you to be mad at me.

I tried not to smile through my anger but it was hard. "Tinkerbelle pout." I said.

"What?"

"That's what my older brother calls it. A Tinkerbelle pout. From Peter Pan the little pixie, fairy thing. When she wouldn't get her way she would pout. That's why he calls me Tink sometimes."

"Or he calls you Tink because you're short."

"Maybe."

"I didn't know you had a brother." he said. "What's his name?

"Cassius." I said.

"Greek too?"

"Oh yeah." I said. "My dad was Polish but he loved Greek everything. Greek food, Greek clothes, Greek language, Green legends. He just adored it. He went through this Greek mythology phase and he was going to name me Hera. After Zeus's wife. Which isn't that bad considering Apollonia is too damn long." And somehow my teachers always seemed to mess up on the spelling. I mean it's spelled exactly how it sounds. How does a English teacher mess up on that?

"Apples is a better nickname." he said. I sighed and looked into the shop. Cindy and rich bitch had their eyes out the door, as if they were waiting for the sheep's to be slaughtered. Sorry guys no fight here today. "I better get back to work." I said, smashing my cigarette into the ground.

"You coming over later?" he asked. I shook my head. "No, I'll be working till eight so I'll be tired."

"You need a ride?"

"That's okay. I can walk back."

"No, it'll be dark and you're not walking back."

"Who says?"

"Me." Okay Mr. Trager you're right for once. I hate walking back home from work. So I agreed. "Fine." I said.

"Pick you up at eight then?"

"If you're late I'll walk without you."

"Fair enough." he said walking to his bike.

"Asshole." I said with a slight smile on my face. It's hard not to like him, even though he's strange. Well so am I. I think it's fair to say we're both weird kids so that makes us the perfect couple.


	6. Nutmeg

So it's been three weeks since our fling and I didn't know what we were. One fling led to two, then three until we were doing it practically all the time. Tracy couldn't help but gloat. She knew I was going to start looking after my needs. It was pretty much hard to ignore them considering that I had a man know. Well if you could call him that. My main problem was I wasn't sure where we stood. Were we "together" or were we friends with benefits. I didn't exactly agree we were either one. I guess we're both waiting for the other to bring it up. It's a shame we're too much alike.

I practically lived with him now, I even had his spare key and I must say the man couldn't cook for shit. It was always take out or microwave able shit. Talk about gross. The only thing he could cook effectively was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and chili. How hard is it to cook chili? That really isn't consider cooking since you practically buy it in a can. I was walking around his kitchen and peaked into the fridge. There was barely anything in it except for some milk and old Mickey D's. Another yuck.

I checked in his room to see if he was up yet. Who was I kidding? He got smashed yesterday and he hadn't slept in about three days so he was going to be out like a light for a bit. So I threw on some shoes and sweats and went to the grocery store. See I loved cooking, I couldn't stand take out or microwave able mess on a plate that they allow to be sold to the public. If you were to see what they really did to the food you'd gag. Or not care whatever helps you sleep at night.

I wanted a omelet, and I think he needed a home cooked meal and every once in awhile anyway. I bought eggs, cheese, peppers, tomatoes, onions, milk, you get it. I chopped the onions, pepper, and tomatoes on a chopping block and started humming. I used to do that when me and Mama would cook in the kitchen. I wish he had some more seasonings, nothing. Only nutmeg. Goddamn nutmeg! If I did become his old lady I was going to teach him to cook for himself and maybe for me. Well okay maybe for me was shooting a bit too high unless he made chili but at least so he didn't have to spend all that money on take out.

As I slide the peppers and onions into the omelet I didn't notice Tig come in. I jumped a bit. Alright, alot but to be fair I was in my zone. "Shit. You're like a cat." I said. He didn't seem all the way there. He was still a bit sleepy. My poor Tig.

"Smells good." he said sitting in a chair next to me. He was incredibly tired but he was hungry. I loved men with appetites. "Did you mom ever used to cook for you?" I asked as I stirred the eggs and poured them into the skillet.

He shook his head. "Nah, she bought some burgers and called it a day." To me that was like hearing that aliens were walking among the Earthlings. My mom rarely and I mean rarely bought burgers and other greasy foods. She always made her own food and pounded the same idea into my head as well."Really?" I asked. "Pass me the nutmeg." I said. Why did he just have nutmeg? That's still too odd. He passed it to me. "Thanks." I sprinkled a bit and put the finished omelet on a plate. "My mom always cooked for us. She hated tv dinners, McDonalds all that stuff."

"Why?"

"She's Rican. She thinks her cooking is better." I handed him the plate. He jumped up look for a fork. "Ah ah ah!" I exclaimed. "That's mine. Put it on the table please?" He glared at me and walked over to the table and pretty much slammed it down. "Thanks, Tiggy." I said with a smile. "What did you want to be when you grew up?" I asked him.

"I don't know. I wanted to be a garbage man when I was a kid."

"Eww, really?"

"Sure. You make decent money. What about you?"

"A cook." I said with a smile. "I wanted to own my own restaurant so I could cook all day everyday instead of doing nails. I hate it. Doing peoples nasty nails, is not my idea of a good time. I just wanted to save up enough to have it."

"Really?" he said, putting his hand on his chin. "What will you call it?"

"Hmm." I had so many names for it. Apollonia's. Naranjas. Apollonia's Palace. All of them didn't have that flare that I wanted. "I never thought about it." I lied. I think about it all the time, all day, everyday. "It'll happen one day."

"Yeah." he said. I noticed him looking at me cutting up the peppers really quickly, It was a skill one had to require with countless hours cutting food but it was my special skill and it did come in handy.

"How do you do that?" he finally asked.

"It's easy." I said handing him the knife. "Try it." He took the knife and slowly started cutting the food. He was struggling trying to cut them too carefully. "No, you're doing it wrong." I said, taking the knife and showing him again. "You have to think of the knife as your friend. Think of it like you're holding a wrench or your bike. It becomes part of you." I said handing him the knife. He sort of got it but he needed work.

"While you're working on the peppers, practice on the tomatoes and the onions." I said mixing the eggs together.

"Jesus, this is so fucking hard."

"It doesn't have to be." I said with a smile. "Just a little practice babe." I bumped him with my hip as I stirred the eggs.

* * *

_Filler chapter. Ick. Oh well. lol_


	7. Definites and Maybes

The little things make a big difference I guess. I needed some new clothes so I went walking around the mall. My only ride (since Tracy abandoned me to go sleep with some guy she picked up at a gas station) was Tig. It was a Sunday afternoon and barely anyone was there. We went in and out of like twenty stores and I drove him crazy making him hold the definites in his right arm and the maybes on his left. After that was done I was starving. We got a pretzel and a cherry slurpee. I was sitting cross legged on a bench as I watched some kids play.

"You want kids?" I asked taking a sip from my drink.

"I wouldn't be surprised if I had a few out there." he commented, looking at me. I shrugged and sipped my drink again. God I love cherry slurpees. "I want kids."

"You?" he asked like he didn't believe me.

"Yeah. Two or three. A girl and a boy."

"Did you pick out names for them or something yet?"

"Well not really. I want the names to rhyme, or something." He looked at me, like he didn't know what to think of it. "Yeah, yeah I know. My mom gave me the same look." He shook his head and I rested my head on his broad shoulder.

Jeez, I was tired.


	8. The Charm

So I insisted that I'd meet Tig's friends a.k.a his club mates. He didn't have any other friends, I'm just saying. I wanted to see how big and bad they were in person. When they weren't you know trying to get messed up or play the famous game of "Bang a Slut". As a good gesture and since the only way to a mans heart is through his stomach I brought some cookies with me. Yeah I know what you're thinking. Why the hell would you give a bunch of bikers cookies? Well it's a simple answer to that complicated question. _Because I can_. Plus Tiggy loves them which is even more of a reason to cook them.

So here I was back at the clubhouse sitting at the bar holding a tin full of cookies. I was waiting for the boys to get out of "church" and it was an extremely boring. So boring that I actually decided to count how many bottles of alcohol they had at the bar. Can you imagine being that bored? Now I got a slight taste of prison I can move on with my life.

Soon they all came out at once. An older guy the "President" (his patch said that) smiled at me. "Yo, Tig!" he said. "Is this your old lady?" Old lady? I assumed that was a token of affection, never been called that before.

"Yeah." Tig said with a smile on his face. I think I blushed a bit. So that meant I was in. I have to admit I did my secret happy dance inside my head. Since I was the 'old lady' now I had to act the part. I know I looked it. When you have a hot girlfriend you like to show her off. It's like striking oil in this town. I held out my hand. "Apollonia." I said with a sweetened tone to my voice. He shook it. "Clay." He introduced himself.

"Beautiful name to match the face." said a Scottish man who patted Tig on the back. He practically waltzed up to me. "You must be Chibs." I said instantly recognizing him. It wasn't the face, okay the scars was a helper but that accent is as thick as anything.

"Tiggy, talks shit about me?" he asked with a smile. He's pretty cute for a Scot.

"Nah, all good things." Well there was a couple of instances that he did talk about but I wouldn't call those bad things. Just things that happen. "You want a beer, Apples?" Tig asked me. I shook my head. Yeah, like I want a repeat of the last time I was here. Besides I rather have something that will actually quench your thirst. "Water, babe." I said. He shook his head, but he honestly didn't want me to do my Gene Kelly act in front of his friends. Then I saw Bobby. The dude who made advances at me and I shot him down like a deer during hunting season. He squinted at me like he couldn't remember who I was or if he saw me before. It was dark and I basically showed my back to him so there you go. However I did the ladylike thing and I waved slightly at him. "How are you?" I asked with a smile I learned to do after countless dysfunctional family gatherings.

"Pretty good. How about you little lady?"

"Walking on sunshine." I said with a cheery smile. If he was going to call me a lesbian he was going to see the happiest this side of Charming. I opened the cookie tray and I held it out to Tig. "Made your favorite."

He took one and ate it quicker than I made it. Chibs peaked in. "Well, well, well what's this?"

"Chocolate chip cookies." I said. "They're only the best in Charming." I held the tin box out for him to try. He took one and the look that every cook longs for. The look of pure ecstasy crossed his face. "Holy shit." he said. "She's right." He grabbed a few more and downed cookies. "Is there any hash in this?" I blinked and turned to Tig who was pretending to be occupied with the nothing that was going outside. "Tig baby?" I asked, rubbing his arm. "Did you mess with my cookies?"

"No." he said with a sort of straight face. He couldn't repress that smile.

"Right, right." The guys didn't seem to mind, in fact I think it made it more popular. Soon before I knew it everyone was having a bite of my cookies. Well almost everyone. I think I was kept around not only because I was Tig's old lady but I baked them lots of goodies.

All in all I had fun with the guys laughing and doing all that fun stuff. The only problem was from the corner of the room I saw a couple of angry bitches glaring at me. One was a tall woman, pretty and had a nice wrack but she was glaring hard at me. Along with a shorter blonde bitch who had a bigger wrack. Why am I talking about their boobs again? I'm mad short compare to them I'm boob height that's why!

Oh jeez, did I piss off the little ladies. I decided to excuse myself so I could have a little girl talk. I jumped off the bar stool (that's the only way I can get off) and walked off to the other side of the room. The tall woman and her sidekick was in my way. They made a fort in front of me. I forced a smile and said sweetly. "Excuse me." They stood their ground. Luckily for me, I'm short, if I fought them it would be in a direct hit to their tits and crotch.

I sighed and smiled again. "Excuse me, please." I added. The tall bitch finally moved a couple inches. Just enough to get my little waste through, but I did hit her with my butt. "Thank you." I said, walking outside the clubhouse. I slipped on my sunglasses and sat on the bench and smoked a cigarette. The ladies seemed dead set on intimidating me. I grew up in a rough Rican neighborhood and was picked on and beat up until I learned to fight back. Please bitches I ain't scared of you.

So as I stated before, I am a Polish Jew on my fathers side and Puerto Rican on my mothers side. Having the best of both worlds I can play the part when needed. Black hair, light green eyes, and light skin people look at me and think I'm a white girl until they see that Rican body. The hips and curves. Having these traits I can act sweet and innocent like a suberban white girl. Especially when I'm talking to the guys. Turn on the charm with a few sweet smiles, a little laugh, and only a couple words when spoken to no one thinks to consider me Puerto Rican. However when bitches like these come dancing into the picture. The neck motions, finger pointing, the crossing the arms, getting loud and the infamous Brooklyn-Spanish accent (which came from years of imitating my mom) comes out.

Anyway, I was sitting out there enjoying a cigarette until the tall bitch blocked my sunlight. "Hey." she said in a who-are-you-and-what-do-you-think-you're-doing here tone. "Hi there." I said in a mock sweet voice.

"What's your name?" the woman asked.

"Apollonia. And yours?"

"Gemma." She said holding out her hand. Oh look you have the same name as my dog. I shook it. Ah, Gemma. We finally meet. I've heard of her. But I wasn't going to let her know that. I looked at the blonde chick. "And you?" I asked.

"Luanne." she said with a nod. She looked like the smart type. You know the smart type as in she knew her left from her right by making a L shape with her hands and whichever one made the L she concluded it was her left.

"Pleasure."

"The pleasure is all mine." Gemma said sitting down next to me. I wish we both could say the same. She sneered at me and I sneered at her back. "So you're Tig's old lady eh?" she asked. How observant you are.

"Yep."

"How long have you been, you know? Together."

"A month maybe more." To my knowledge at least. I just got the news as well.

"Hmm. Interesting." she said, taking out her own cigarettes and lighting them. "You see sweetie, you seem sweet and all but there's a couple of ground rules you have to follow." Don't use the same cheap dye you use? "You see, don't let this old lady title get to your head. I'm queen here. I just hate to see you get your ballon shot down when you realize you don't run this show here." Queen? Someone alert the media. I guess it says future Mussolini on my back or something.

"Look." I said pushing my sunglasses up. I meant business "You don't have to try and intimidate me. I ain't one of those dip shit bimbos who wants to fuck your man because of his status. I didn't even want this gig. I'm here because I like Tig a lot. So you're wasting your breath and time okay?" My tone was respectful she was the Queen of Charming after all but I think my message was clear.

"Just a precaution." she said exhaling smoke. "I don't want to see a nice girl like you become something you really don't want to be, okay?" Nice girl? Thanks?

"Well you don't have to worry about that, dear." I said with a smile. Gemma leaned closer to me. "Look, my patience is running really thin. Now is not the time to be clever."

Now I was mad. First of all don't talk to me like I'm a kid. I'm twenty-two years old and you are not my Mama. Now until your name becomes Rosario Flores-Gorski then you can forget about it. I stood up and so did she. Now we're playing follow the leader, awesome. I was wearing heels and so was she and she was still looked like a mountain. She must've been six feet in those things.

"I didn't mean any disrespect Gemma, but I don't appreciate being talked down to okay? If you want to have a normal conversation then so be it. I get it. You don't want anyone after your spot, but I don't enjoy being talked to like I'm the shit on your shoe." That was the nice version of what I was really thinking. I said it calmly and for once I actually said something right. She thought for a minute and then nodded her head.

"Maybe we can work something out." She said with a smirk on her face. "An honest old lady like you is needed around here. Most of my first impressions of people tend to be correct. Don't prove me wrong, okay?" I nodded and waited till tall, dark and obnoxious left and I relaxed. Wasn't in the mood for a fight. Tig finally and I do mean finally came outside. "Had fun?" he asked, wrapping his arm around me.

"Oh yeah." I said. "Disney World or Stretch and Blondie? Psh, there's no comparison."

* * *

_I must confess I got a little creative with the sarcastic comments. I guess it's some sort of defense mechanism._


	9. Size Three

Ever since the day I saw these black 4 inch Cha-Cha heels in the window of Green Lady Shoes I knew I had to have them. They were perfect for me. Slick black and four inches of pure amazing that needed a cute little foot in them. For lack of a better example my foot and only my foot. After begging Tig for the money I finally bought them. In a size three too! They rarely had my shoe size except in those ugly sneakers that I didn't give a shit about. Eighty bucks right on the dot and they were mine. The minute they were on my feet I knew it was worth the kisses and chocolate strawberries that I gave him. I couldn't wait till I got to the clubhouse so I walked out with them on and back to the clubhouse where Tig was suppose to pick me up so we could go to Gemma's for an engagement party. She was getting married to Clay in a couple months. Even though her husband died like less than a year ago but who am I to judge? It is a little weird though, your husband died barely a year ago and you're off ready to get married. I wonder if they were you know together before Mr. John Teller's demise, I'm just saying.

So anyway we drove to their house and hung out there for a bit. Unfortunately the beer was starting to run thin. Being the nice person that I am I walked down to the basement to grab some more. I was carrying a heavy case of beer up the stairs when my heel caught in the stair. I don't know how but it did. I fell forward landing on the beer bottles, hitting my chin on the stair and fell back down the stairs, hitting each one. As if my day couldn't get any worse the beer that fell from the case came back like the Flying Monkeys in the Wizard of Oz. All missed me except one that hit me smack dead on the forehead. I blacked out and don't remember much of that.

I think I failed to mention that I'm not the most coordinated person around here. In fact I think I'm the most clumsiest person in Charming. The only thing I remembered after that was waking up in a hospital with a sore back, stitches on my chin, a nose that I couldn't even breath out of, and giant bruise on my stomach. Tig was sitting by my bedside holding my hand and a laugh. Asshole!

It's funny to say that I never wore those heels again.


	10. Crack Whore

I threw my shit all over the place. I was screaming, spitting I was purely out of control. Tracy was trying to scream at me to calm down but nothing could and I wasn't sure if I could ever get over such a shock. I picked up my mirror and threw it across the room only a few inches away from her. I didn't mean to throw it near her, I swear. Tracy put her arms to her face to hide from the glass. She was lucky she had quick reflexes. Tears were burning my eyes and practically blinding me. Tracy ran away for whatever reason I didn't care. I couldn't believe this happened to me. All my hard work was gone, taken form me. Probably from some crack whore son of a bitch who wanted a fix so badly he took the money I had worked so hard for.

The dream that I had to own my own restaurant seemed so far away now. I was hurting so badly inside, that I didn't want to live. How could someone be so cruel and just do that to me. I'm a good person, I never did any harm to anyone. Only a few more paychecks and I would've been so close. Now I was back at square one. Square fucking one. I curled up and cried into my knees so hard that my fishnet stockings were soaked. I did hear voices coming from the other room, but for some reason my brain didn't register.

"What happen?"

"Someone broke into her apartment and found the money she was saving up or something. She was so upset I didn't know what to do but call you." I heard heavy footsteps walk into my room, then I felt someone touch my back gently. "Apples?" I heard Tig say. "What's wrong baby girl?"

"S-s-something st-st-stole m-my mon-money." I said I could barely talk my lips were quivering. Tig picked me up, yes picked me up and stroked my hair and rubbed my back. "Do you know who could've hurt you?"

I shook my head. I didn't have any enemies it was more than likely just random. "You ain't gonna live like this." he said.

"Wh-what?"

"No old lady is mine is going to have her shit taken from her. You're moving in with me." I curled up closer to him. It was my way of saying okay. I didn't know how long we sat there but it wasn't long before I was dead asleep. I had Tracy call in for me at work to tell them that I was sick. I slept all of the night and most of the day it was almost four o'clock in the afternoon before I even stirred I woke up to Tracy calling me.

"Uh, Apples?" she said.

"Hmmm?" I asked pushing some stray hair out of my face. My eyes hurt so bad from crying. I probably looked like a mad woman right about now but I didn't care. I wiped my eyes with the palm of my hand. Tracy looked a little spooked. "What's wrong?"

"Your boyfriend and some of his friends are here with some guy who looks like he's in pretty bad shape."

"Huh?" I must've been dreaming.

"Just c'mon." Tracy said pulling me out of bed by the hand. I threw on a jacket and walked outside with her on our balcony. Tig was holding the guys head and Chibs, Juice, Otto and Happy were holding him down. I waved slightly. "Hey Tig, hey guys."

"Hey Apples." They said in unison. I sniffed. "Whose that?"

"Found the bastard who stole your money, babe."

"Who is that?"

"Some meth head one of your neighbors caught breaking into your place." He said with a satisfied smile on his face. "He has something to tell you." He lifted his head up and punched him hard. His eyes shot open. He looked dirty and bloody probably from the beating at the hands of my old man. "Say sorry!" he yelled at him.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry." His front teeth were missing. Gross.

"Say I apologize!"

"I ap-apologize."

"Say forgive me Apollonia!"

"F-forgive me Apollonia."

"And it will never happen again!"

"It will never happen again."

Tig punched him hard in the jaw. So hard that even me and Tracy flinched. "Now the hell out of here before I rape ya!" He screamed. The guy didn't run but he sure could limp fast. I smiled slight and I couldn't help but feel so happy. "Tiggy?" I asked. "Wheres my money."

He pulled out two large wads of bills. My mouth dropped. That was nearly doubled the amount I had. "Where did you find all that?" I asked. "His little meth friends decided to help him in his cause."

"Did you piss off some drug dealers?" I asked. Tracy cut me off. "Do you really want to know the answer to that question?" I thought for a second and shrugged. "I suppose so." Only Tig would do such a thing for his old lady, but what I could I say? He's my old man.

_

* * *

_

_ Yay a happy ending, for Apples at least. Thank you to all wo reviewed. kvsgrl, ozlady80, Miss. Meggie, Ms. Lady 17, Wild Flower 13, and Moet et Cadaver. Much appreciated. And if you haven't yet reviewed do so please. :] I anyone has an idea for a misadventure please don't hesitate to tell._

Thanks.

Val.


	11. Polar Animals

To pass the time before a party at the clubhouse Tig and I went to the zoo. I loved the zoo, seeing the animals, and learning about something new. It was fun to me. I found it fascinating, but Tig didn't. He just dragged along giving me those sighs of boredom and the constant roll of the eyes when I found a cute animal. That was until we got to the horses. Don't know why he liked them so much but he seemed really entranced. We passed the polar animals, lizards, wild cats and marine life. By the time it was practically over I was in heaven. I loved animals so much. I should've gone to college to become a vet. My poor Tig however was practically asleep and muttered something about if he had enough time to run out and get hit by a bus before we saw the primates. If I had to go through a exhibit devoted to Harley's for three hours he will get through this zoo experience.

No one is leaving, until this zoo ride is done. Not on my watch. When we reached the Silver back gorilla Tig was considering that bus idea too literally for my taste. Gorillas were ugly but interesting creatures. The poor thing was behind a thick glass. He looked angry and bored probably from all these stupid looking people staring and making faces at him all day. Poor thing. It should be free in the wild not captive.

Anyway I was reading the description, when Tig decided to stare at the gorilla. In the eye. Dead center. Now from common knowledge you don't look a wild animal in the eye. That challenges them, and pisses them off. So don't do it! Even if the gorilla is locked up you shouldn't push your damn luck! So the gorilla stared back.

Tig stared back harder.

The gorilla did the same.

"Baby, don't look him in the eye." I said, not looking at the gorilla. "Psh," he scoffed. "You think I'm scared of a dirty ape?"

You should dumbass.

I continued to read, so what happened next wasn't clear to me. All I heard was a very loud BANG, then I felt myself being pushed out of the way. The gorilla was still behind the glass he just looked pissed off, but something clicked in Tig's brain that the gorilla had gotten out and was after him because he was running for his life. Apparently the gorilla got off it's ass ran to the glass and punched it as hard as it could. The Sergeant-at-Arms of one of the biggest MC's in the world was running for his damn life from a gorilla that wasn't even loose. I am so lucky to have such a brave man to defend me.  


* * *

_Haha, sorry I had a dream like this. Couldn't resists. Review and I'll give you more. I promise. My reviewers I love you all. Please continue to review, I'll even check out some of your stuff. I'm up for anything new. _


	12. Methhead

My sister in law has to be the most psychotic being in the universe. She makes Charles Manson seem like Barney the Dinosaur. Violet Newbridge married my brother six years ago after nearly a decade of on and off dating. I remember ever since I was six and my brother was sixteen (We're exactly ten years and three months apart from each other) and she always looked a mess. Her hair was matted and she refused to keep up with her dye jobs. She would wear short, short (and I mean short) skirts and wouldn't wear underwear and very low cut blouses. She would smoke in the house when my parents weren't around and she would curse a lot. Don't get me wrong that's not what makes her crazy.

She started smoking meth about eight years ago and has been addicted ever since. She one time put all her pillows in her microwave and oven because she was told to burn everything by Jesus. She threw out all the plates and glasses because that's how the bugs from the then Communist Russia were crawling into her body. That's only two out of the many things I've heard. You can't make this shit up. My brother and Violet have two kids. Mimi and Joel. Mimi is six and Joel is five. Cute kids, they both look like Cassius (my brother) thank God. But they're probably going to be the most fucked up grown ups ever. Did I mention Violet hates the Sons of Anarchy.

Because they do illegal activities?

They're an outlaw biker gang?

All wrong.

She hates them because she believes they're poisoning the water supply and putting little tiny explosives in her teeth while she sleeps. Which is why she stays up at night so she can catch them in the act. Mama and I have begged and pleaded with Cassius to leave her. He leaves her for a bit then he comes back. It's so tiring to have to act nice to her. Welcome to my life.

Anyway I was waiting for Tig to get off of work so we could go to Fun Town together like he promised. I was talking to the other guys when I saw Violets car speed up to the Teller-Morrow shop. "Shit whose that?" Clay asked me about to go outside to inspect the person in the car. I looked in and saw my darling sister-in-law.

"Damnit!" I exclaimed, shaking my head. "That's my sister-in-law. I got it." I ran off to check it out. "You sure you got it?" Clay yelled to me as I ran to her. "Yeah I'm sure." Violet looked even worse than she usually did. Her blonde hair had red dye and a bit of brown in it. She's a natural brunette I don't know where the red came from. She practically leaped out of the car.

Her hair was greasy wild and unkept, matted to shit. Her skin was pale and her eyes were red and practically dead with dark puffy circles under eyes. And not to mention she was wearing a green skirt, a torn red shirt and purple heels. Eww.

"Apollonia!" she said charging up to me. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Me? Oh shit. Why? Please don't poison my drink so we can be together forever. I rather spend eternity with Adolf Hitler than you. "What's wrong Violet?" I asked. I didn't want to step too close to her. She smelled like she hadn't bathed in a week.

"Cassius is going to take my kids away." she said, tears forming in her eyes. In the back seat was Mimi and Joel. They looked scared shitless. I waved to them and they slightly waved back. Violet started crying. "Why is he going to take my babies away?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. Violet you just need some help-." Shit that was the trigger. "NO!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "No one is sending me back there...No no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Fuck no. I'm not crazy you believe me right Apollonia?" She was two inches away from my face and stroked my hair. I swear she's had a thing for me since I hit puberty. "Yeah of course I do." I said taking a step back. "But you gotta do this right for your kids-."

"Whose that?" she asked looking over my shoulder as Tig and the guys watched her. "Why are they staring at me. You're with the Sons?!" she accused me. "How could you? You're teaming up with them to murder me!" She yelled.

"What?! No Violet-." Crazy ass bitch!

"You tried to trick me! You're all going to burn in fucking hell!" She said screaming and pointing at me with a broken finger nail. She opened the back door and dragged the kids out. Mimi started to cry and ran towards me, Joel was too shocked to do anything but stare. "Fuck you all!" Violet screamed as she got in her car and drove off. "Holy shit." I said under my breath holding Mimi close to me. Tig ran over to me and watched as Violet pulled away. "Who the fuck was that?" he asked.

"Behold my crazy sister in law." I said with a shake of my head. I saw Gemma walk outside and start to peak her little nose into it. I took the kids by the hand and led them inside. Gemma came out of nowhere cut in front of me and looked at the kids. "Hey Apples." She said with a taunting smile. She looked at the kids. "Aww, they're skinny." she commented. "Too skinny." She waved at one of the guys. "Hey Juice. Call up Dino's. Get us a pizza." He nodded and hopped right to it. She looked at me with a smirk. "Apples, dear. I need to talk to you privately."

"Sure." I leaned down to the kids. Which wasn't hard considering that I was almost practically eye level with them. "Hey don't worry. They're going to make sure you're just fine." I said. They nodded and I walked off with Gemma. Oh shit, Stretch wants to grill me out. This was going to be fun.

I stood in her office as she circled me like a hawk and sat down in a seat. She took out two cigarettes from her pack and handed one to me. "Figured you needed it." she said lighting hers. "Yeah. Thanks." I said lighting mine, and exhaling.

"So who was that crazy bitch?" Gemma asked. Ah, finally to the point Mother Dearest.

"My sister in law she's kinda out of it."

"Oh?" I must've peaked her interest because she leaned in. "So what did she want?"

"Gemma, it's personal-."

She flicked her cigarette and frowned. "Personal? My shop, nothing is personal."

"Fine." I said, sitting in the chair in front of her. "That was Violet Newbridge. Big time meth head, and she's very off her rocker. Cassius, my brother is somewhere I don't know. She just dropped the kids off. She thinks SAMCRO is putting explosives in her teeth."

Gemma let out a scoff. "Well you weren't lying."

"Nope." I said shaking my head. "My family has been dealing with her for the past sixteen years. We were hoping she would just kill herself by now."

"No such luck eh?" She flicked her cigarette and sighed. "So what's going to happen to the kids. With your brother being MIA right now."

"I don't know. Mama is in Puerto Rico right now and Violet's parents are just as crazy as she is. So I suspect they'll stay here with me."

"Did you run that by Tig?"

As much as I hated to admit it, Amazonian woman was right. Tig didn't like kids. At least not for long periods of time. When we would go to the park he was always making fun of them. Talk about how short, ugly, weird looking, fat, skinny, pale, dark blah, blah, blah. Poor kids at least they don't get what he's saying yet. A night or so maybe but if this was anything like the last time Violet ran off then it could be months before we have some private time alone. Tig would lose his fucking mind. "No." I said, biting my tongue.

"Hmm." Gemma said. "Tig isn't going to be too happy about that."

"Well I have no choice. It's either have two lonely kids out there to take care of themselves, or a angry MC member giving me more shit to choke on. My hands are pretty much tied." I flicked my ash in the ashtray. I tossled my hair a bit.

"You always have a choice, but it may not be the easiest one." Gemma sighed. "Family or a man. Which one will it be Apples?"

"My niece and nephew of course." I said. Gemma smiled at me. She actually smiled. I guess that was the right answer. "Good choice. Family is very important to me too. Just be sure to explain that to Tig."

"Yeah."

"Good luck."

"I'll need it."

Just as I was about to tell Tig the news that we would be having company tonight Cassius called the shop, He was coming to pick up the kids. There is a God! I wanted to do my happy dance. I didn't even have to choose between him and family this time. I just paid for pizza. However the guys got picky and ordered their own pizzas. I had to pay $40.98 for a bunch of grown men who pretended for twenty minutes that they had no idea where their wallets were. That's okay. I'm going to get each and every single one of them back.  


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_There's more where this came from. Review. ;]_


	13. Giants

Tig and I sat on the roof of the clubhouse watching the night sky. The music, voices, and sounds of motorcycles reving had all gone away. Just the two of us and the night sky. It was beautiful watching the stars, absolutely beautiful. It made you feel so small that there were billions of star mixing with millions of planets, asteroids, comments, galaxies with tons of space for all of it to exist in. "Can you imagine how many of those stars are in the galaxy?" I asked.

We were sharing a joint so our brains were a little fuzzy. Actually very fuzzy, we felt so surreal. "Yeah." he said. I sighed and took a hit from the joint that was starting to burn the tips of my fingers. Talk about ouch. "Makes you feel like you're not on top of the world anymore."

"Nah." he said shaking his head. "Not really."

"Well think about it how many stars, galaxies, planets, comets, and life there is out there. Not to mention the oceans, deserts, the mountains, the valleys, and the sky. You're a speck of dust in some giants eyes compared to that."

"I guess."

"Mhm. It's really scary when you think about how insignificant we really are."

"Okay, now you're starting to bum me out." he said looking at me. His eyes red and half way closed. "Sorry." I said cuddling close to him. He ran his hands through my hair. "Tig?"

"Yeah?"

"How come we don't have any cute nicknames for each other?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. My friend Portia calls her fiancee puddin'." He rolled his eyes. He hated Portia. She talked way too much. I mean way too much. Like you know those girls who don't even get that what they have to say is not any of your concern. Like seriously she wouldn't shut up, until you pretty much had to either ignore her or cut her off so you could talk about something else. Who is Portia you might ask? Portia is Tracy's new roommate. Since Tracy and I share friends it was bound to happen. Portia was all too excited to talk at Tig and the rest of the guys. Yes, talk at. None of them were able to get a word in. She was about to get married to some weirdo she met and now he's going to move in with her.

"Yeah and he's a goddamn tool." I hate to admit it but he's right. He was a tool. I mean he watched Lifetime movies. I never knew a guy to watch a Lifetime movie, just to watch it. Plus she pets him, pinches his cheeks and sticks to him like glue. I don't remember what his name was. I always forgot it. Maybe it was Stewart, George, Chucky. Whatever the point is he's a tool!

"I'm just saying it would be cute."

"What would mine be?" he asked. I thought about the nickname that would top all nicknames. Something to just annoy the hell out of him. Especially when we got into one of our fights. "Tiggles." I said. He shot me the funniest look. Like the no-way-in-hell-I'm going-to-be called-that look.

"No!" he said shaking his head. Ah, yes my amusement at Tig's expense!

"Why not?"

"It sounds like a kids name."

"But it's cute."

"No goddamn way are you calling me Tiggles."

"Okay, Tiggles." I said chuckling. Now he looked pissed off. "Don't fucking call me that!" he exclaimed. "Call you what?" I asked cocking my head to the side. "You know what."

"Nope. Tell me."

"Tiggles..."

"Call you Tiggles?"

"Fuck no!"

"Fuck yes!"

I wonder if the guys still tease him about that. I know I do.

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_Kimya Dawson's song I Like Giants inspired this. My loyal reviwers, tell me what you think. I'm not sure if I like this chapter._


	14. Hula Dance

There's one down side to Charming that all of us tend to ignore. Those fucking Neo Nazis. They don't even have the right to breathe as far as I'm concerned. My heart jumps when I see those swastikas on their chest and arms. It also fills me with such anger and disgust that it's hardly tolerable. My grandmama on the Polish side, a Jew sent my then six year old father to New York to live with family members. Why you ask? She had visions (or so he said) that she saw World War II and the Holocaust coming and it would kill her family but especially her only son. She couldn't allow that so she sent him to live witha close Aunt who had migrated here to New York five years back. Several years later Germany invaded Poland, sending it's Jews and all of the Jews of Europe to death camps to be killed. My extended family was sent to Treblinka while others were sent to Auschwitz. My father never saw his mother or family again. How could people be so cruel as to murder someone for their beliefs or race. It hurt my father more than any knife that those self righteous bastards would destroy his family. He had no one except my Uncle Wladdek (trying saying that ten times fast) who lived in Israel.

I saw him once and he still had those horrid numbers tattooed into his flesh. He kept them so he would never forget what happened to him and others. He's still fighting to make sure the world never forgets what happened to those six million Jews. However I digress.

Tig and I were sitting in a diner at eleven at night. He hadn't been home in nearly three days on business and I stuck to him like glue. We were so distracted that we didn't even hear the bell ring when that fucking Nazi showed up. I was whispering in Tig's ear.

"Do you think they'll catch us?" I asked with a giggle. "I don't want to wait till we get home. I'll be really, really quiet."

"Maybe." he said with that devilish grin on his face. He was such a tease.

"Oh come on. You always begged me to do shit with you in public now, I'm practically begging you and you say maybe?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So? That means hop on this or I'll find someone who will. Maybe some soul brotha and, you know he's going to have a big black dick too."

"You won't." he said shaking his head.

"What makes you so sure."

He didn't answer but he pulled me even closer to him and ran his hand between my legs. There's a good boy. I grabbed his hand and we were about to run off to the bathroom like hormone raging teenagers when I nearly bumped into someone. Okay yeah I did bump into someone, hard. He smelled like soup too. Not like good soup but ugly shitty broth soup too. "Sorry." I said. I bet his whole house smelled like broth soup.

"Watch where you're fucking going." I heard the guy say. I stopped and turned around on my heel. So did Tig. Now I inherited one thing from my mother besides cooking and that was my temper. I stomped up to him. "I said fucking sorry, now cut the shit you sorry son of a bi-." Before I could finish Tig pulled me back and covered my mouth with his hand.

"You got a smart little mouth, spic." He said. Was my spicness that noticeable? Goddamn Brooklyn/Spanish angry accent. He was a dirty looking guy, balding with silver hair, and cold black eyes. He had several tattoos of white supremacy on his arms. My heart began to thump so loud against my chest I swore everyone could hear it. I was frozen solid.

"I'll handle this, alright?" Tig said to me, hand still cupping my mouth. "But you gotta shut up, okay? Do you promise me?" He asked. I nodded my head. I had no words left in me, anyway. Tig stepped forward.

"What the hell do you want Darby?" he asked.

Darby smiled a cocky little smile and took a step forward too. "Figured you'd like your dick in some dirty spic whore. Can't find a good white girl anymore, eh? So you turn around and do _it_." He said pointing to me. It?! Oh no he didn't! You're an embarrassment to yourself you, dirty little fuck!

Tig's jaw tightened and his fist were balled up and shaking. "Say that again, Adolf. I fucking dare you."

"Say what?" They were squaring up, what do I do?

"Call her a name one more time and I'm going to dunk my balls so far down your throat you'll beg for more."

"Didn't know you flew both ways, Tiggy. Goddamn Race traitor. Now go back in that bathroom and fuck your beaner whore-." BAM! Tig punched Darby as hard in the face as he could. I mean the guy practically flew back into a nearby table. Tig started pounding the shit out of him, and he didn't stop even when I and the guy who owned the restaurant started shouting at him. Darby started punching back, even harder, head butting him right in the face. Ouch. No one wins in a head butt. I should know from experience but that's a different story for a different time.

I was stunned, like my feet were glued to the floor. Just watching two men go at it hard. I heard loud sirens coming soon. "Tig!" I screamed. "Police!" He wasn't hearing me, he was just pounding into Darby like there was no tomorrow. "Police are coming, hello!" Before I knew it cops were coming and broke up the fight.

I had never been hauled off for questioning before in my life, but I knew the routine. I wasn't handcuffed by a cop led me by the arm. I looked at Tiga s he was being led off by another. "Don't say anything." he mouthed. I shook my head and stepped into the car. He looked awful, blood was coming from his nose, head and mouth. My poor Tiggy.

I was in a small room with a buzzing lightbulb hanging over me. I was scared, my hands and knees were shaking. I never get caught, I'm just that slick. I knew this was a test to prove my loyalty to the club. I'm no rat, just like Henry Hill from Goodfellas. I tell them everything, but not what they want to hear. I'll talk and talk and talk but I won't be saying anything. Cool. Sounds like plan.

A police officer comes in. Shit I'm fucked. At least so I thought. "I'm Chief Unser." he started closing the door. "You want anything? Water or something?" he asked.

"Cigarette would be lovely." I said with a smile. He pulled one out of his pocket and lit it up for me. I exhaled and nodded. "Thanks." I said.

"So you're Tig's old lady eh?" he said comfortably. He wasn't like most cops. He seemed more I don't know real.

"Yeah." I said exhaling smoke.

"For how long?"

"Eight months I suppose." I said leaning back in my chair.

"Ah." he said nodding. "What happened between him and Darby?" Back to business eh, Chief?

Okay girl, here's your test. What do I say? Confess that Darby called me a spic, and a whore more than once and not in that order? Stand by my man and plead the 5th? Claim that I had a sudden case of amnesia? What do I do? Gemma and Tig said over and over. When caught, "don't say anything." But what does that mean? Do I literally not say anything? Or do I keep talking about something else that's so off topic it's lunacy? Do I pretend I'm choking and claim vocal cord damage? Do I dance and do the hula? Tell me something other than that! They so need a training course or a manual for this shit. I'm so dropping that into the suggestion box. You know, when they decide to put one in. I mean if they have a manual for how to survive a zombie attack, sexual acts and how to make bombs that could possibly be used to dismantle the government, why can't they have one for unexperienced old ladies?

I just decided to take a deep breath and say the first thing that comes to my mind. I took another drag and looked up at Unser. But what does one say first?

"Well?" he said leaning back in his chair as well, growing impatient. I took another courageous breath said a silent Hail Mary and just spilled it out.

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_Reviews are an encouragement to me and will be highly appreciated to the trillionth degree. Where should I take this bad boy? What should Apples say?_


	15. Pigheaded Dictator

"Okay." I started. I cleared my throat pushed my hair back and opened my mouth. I spat out the first thing that came to my mind. "What happened was Darby came into the restaurant ranting and raving because of me being half Puerto Rican. He called me a spic and before I knew it they were brawling. I know that Tig wouldn't just start a fight for no reason, but I believe that Darby did hit him first. That's all I remember."

Well that was what I meant to say. However it came out like this. I was talking so fast I barely had time to think. "What-in-the-fucking-world-just-happen! I'm-a-good-person! I'm-not-a-spic-okay-yeah-maybe-I-am-well-half-on-my-mothers-side-but-you-never-would-know-unless-I'm-really-really-mad-or-really-really-horny. It-was-a-mixture-of-both-considering-that-Tig-was-away-for-three-days-and-he''s-so-good. I-mean-really-good-like-you-black-out-good. I-don't-know-why-I'm-telling-you-this,-but-it-wasn't-like-we-were-going-to-do-it-in-the-bathroom-that-would-be-skanky-okay-maybe-we-were-but-I'm-not-a-skank! I-mean-who-are-you-to-judge-me-everyone-has-done-that-right? Okay-maybe-not-everyone-but-you-know-what-I-mean." That went on for several minutes, maybe more give or take. Unser tried to cut in but I don't think I even took a breather. Then I started to switch into Spanish. "_Porque_! _Estoy soy un buena persona!_" Which pretty much meant. "Why? I'm a good person!" I said a few other things that I couldn't remember, I was huffing, crying and carrying on like a broken hearted chick on a Spanish soap opera until Unser slammed his hand down on the table which nearly made me jump out of my seat and finally I decided to shut up.

"Hey kid." he said calmly. He leaned in close to me. "Look I don't give a shit about that goddamn Nazi son of a bitch." Well that's a relief on my part. "I can tell you ain't been in this gig for longer than a couple of months. Now I want you to calmly tell me what happen. I want to get out of here as quickly as I possibly can too. So just tell me anything you remember, so you can leave with your old man, alright?"

I wiped my nose with my sleeve, nodded and said softly. "All I know is that Darby called me a spic and a whore. Darby was making some comments to Tig as well."

"Like?"

"Saying that he swung both ways."

"So Tig hit him?"

"No."

"So what did he do?"

"I don't know. I think Darby got angry and hit him, I don't remember."

"Well that helps." I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or truthful. I think it was both. I didn't care I just wanted to go home.

"Yeah." I honestly think Darby gets hot over non white women. I mean if he hates us that much he must have some sort of desire to taste the forbidden fruit. I have everything most of those girls have to pay for. Not that I'm interested just a thought.

He nodded his head. "Alright, now get out." He said, using his thumb to point toward the door. "Now you and Tig get out of here."

"Who posted bail?" I asked, pushing my hair back again. I sort of did this when I would get really tense or excited.

"Who do you think?" Unser asked shaking his head. Clay and the guys of course. How silly did I look. I waited outside on the bench waiting for him. I swung my feet around and watched small bugs crawl up my hand. I shook them away and watched Chibs and Happy box with each other. He finally walked out, well limped out but it was close enough to a walk. I jumped up and practically ran up to him. The side of his jaw was pretty swollen, dried blood was still in his hair and his face. I ran up to him and hugged him tightly. Perhaps too tightly, I felt him twitch and exhale in pain. "You okay baby?" I asked.

"Yeah don't worry." He wasn't going to let me know how much pain he was in he was tough but that didn't mean he had to be a fool. I didn't want him to drive, but he was too damn stubborn. "You sure you're okay, brother?" Clay asked, as Tig limped to his bike. "Yeah, I'm alright." He said painfully putting one leg over his bike.

I honestly rather ride with Violet drugged out on everything, than him. At least there would be some chance I could live. Okay maybe not but at least she would know when to stop, partly. I think you get it. I knew if Iwrapped my arms around him it would be almost unbearable pain. He had worse injuries than a few punches to the face and gut but I did see Darby get a good punch to his ribs.

Poor Tig could barely get his bike started. I touched his shoulder. "Baby, maybe you should go to the hospital." I said. "You look a little pale babe."

"It's the moonlight now get on the bike. I'm fine." he said irritably. He started coughing gruffly and holding his right side. "Babe, you need to get to the doctor." I said trying to be comforting. "Just get on the bike goddamn it."

Clay got off his bike and walked over to him. "Yeah, brother. Think your old lady is right. You need to get yourself stitched up."

"I can do this Clay." he said. He tried to rev up his Harley, with no success. It must've been damn near painful, but that stubborn Marine in him kept it hidden. "Get the hell on Apples. I'm not telling you again."

"Stop being a stubborn jackass. You can't make it home. Now either you're going to the hospital or I'm going to steal a ambulance and push you into it." I said it so calmly it was scary. He looked at me like he was daring me to even try it but he knew I was crazy enough to even attempt so.

"Alright, fine." he said.

_Another few hours later._

He really was a trooper, I was surprised he didn't pass out while he was in holding. He had a broken rib, a few fractured ones, and a slight concussion but he would live. I was sitting in his room reading a book with my feet propped up against his bed. He tried to talk to me earlier and fight the medication but it only made him whoozy. After telling me about his new album and calling me Mr. Sullivan he finally went to sleep out.

I told Chibs to pick me up a slightly interesting book. I didn't think a book on the biography of Roman Emperor Nero didn't count as one of them but it passed the time. Finally I fell asleep maybe around seven or eight in the morning. Around ten, a familiar face knocked on the window to his room. My eyes shot open. I whipped around, expecting it to be the doctors or something. Instead it was the oh so lovely Gemma. I was practically giddy with excitement.

Sarcasm ladies and gentlemen. Just in case you were wondering.

She didn't need a invitation she just stepped right in. "Good morning." she said. She had flowers in hand as she waltzed to me. "I figured you'd poke your nose around here." I said, putting my legs down from his bed. They were so very numb and I was going to embarrass myself by walking on numb legs.

"Well I just wanted to show my sympathy. He is in the predicament because of you." Oh the old guilt trip Gemma. How clever.

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock." I said, taking my hair down from the messy bun and finger combing it it. It was so greasy, I seriously needed to wash it.

"Unser told me everything." she said standing over me. It hurt my neck to look up at her. Damn it Gemma be shorter. "He said you were losing your shit."

"Okay I didn't lose my shit." I said rubbing my forehead. "I was just....you know.....Okay maybe I did lose my shit but lots of bad stuff happened in one day. I didn't get laid, I got called a spic and a whore, I watched my old man fight for me, I got arrested, I had to take him to the hospital so yeah I'm a little on edge. But the worst part of it was I didn't get any afternoon delight. Or evening delight. Which ever sounds better."

Gemma chuckled. "Well kid, I have to say." Oh shit here it comes. She's going to freak out. Did I say too much? "For a first timer you did alright. Minus the whole losing your shit thing."

"Really?"

"Yeah." she said. "It was a clever lie. Make Darby look like the bad guy. Dennis the diner owner isn't saying shit. Claimed his back was turned. Smart man. Darby isn't claiming shit."

"Yeah I know." I said, sighing. Gemma leaned against the wall with her foot propped up against it. "You know, hun." She said walking up to me. "I respect that. You have a lot to learn but you get the job done."

"Really?" I was surprised she was saying all this shit to me. "That's shocking."

"Why?"

"Just is."

"Hmm." Gemma said. "Unser isn't like most cops you know? He's okay." She smiled slightly at me. "Well tell Tigger I said get well soon, okay?" I nodded. "Sure. Thanks Gemma."

She smiled, it was sort of sincere. "You're welcome, Apples." She walked out the door, closing it behind her. You know for a devilish, plotting, controlling, catty, sleazy, pigheaded dictator she's okay. A little rough around the edges but she has a heart of gold. Okay, maybe silver or lead not really gold. Whatever, moving on.

Before I knew it Tig was up and looking around. My nose was still pretty deep into that boring book and I didn't realize it until Tig started squirming around. "Hello, sleeping beauty." I said smiling.

He squinted at me and rubbed his eyes. "Hey." he said.

"You feeling better?" I asked, running my fingers through his hair and giving him a soft kiss on the side of his cheek that wasn't swollen.

"No."

"I'll ask the nurse to give you some painkillers, okay?"

"Okay. Tell them to put it in a bag to go." My poor old man. He tried to push himself out of the hospital bed. I rolled my eyes. "Oh Alex." I chuckled watching him at least try to get out of here. "Come on get back to bed."

"No." he said weakly trying to roll himself out of the bed. "Why not?" I asked. Stubborn as a mule. "Because this shit cost money and half of Charming's nurses knows what my ass looks like." I didn't know why he was trying to cover up the back of his robe. I already knew what it looked like anyway.

"Half of the women in Charming not attached to a man or the Mayans knows what your ass looks like." I said picking at the chipped paint on my nails. I needed to redo them so badly.

"True." he said. "But it's going to cost my whole goddamn paycheck to get the hell out of here. Why doesn't this gown ever fucking close?!" He exclaimed, trying to pull the gown together. A nurse came in. "Not uh, get back in the bed Mr. Trager."

"How about I just walk right out of here. I'm fine."

"We still have to run a few test and-."

"I don't care."

I decided to use my womanly persuasion. "Just stay for awhile, Alex." I said tapping my fingers on the bed. I gave him a small wink. At first he didn't get my hint and I gave him another wink and he almost hopped into bed. I waited till the nurse was gone and I stuck my hand under the blanket. "Since Darby ruined out time, I think he owes us one." I said with a smile.

He leaned against the pillows of his bed and nodded in agreement. "Tell me when if it hurts okay?" I asked.

He nodded again, even though I knew there wasn't a fighting chance he would give up a hand job for a little pain. I knew my Tig.

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_Thank you for all the suggestions they really helped._ _A review is mandatory, (well not really but it would be lovely) especially after I worked so hard to get this thing right. I might rewrite it a bit later, but I got so many chapters backed up the show must go on. _


	16. Seafood Medley

So I told you how much I loved animals right? Well let me reiterate I love animals, of all kinds. Except rats, bats and all other vermin like that, but who cares about them? So I was walking to the Teller-Morrow Shop from the drugstore when I heard a soft meow coming from a nearby alley way. I peaked in and heard the meowing again. It wasn't a normal meow it was a sad one. I looked through the trash cans and what do I spy? A small little Siamese kitten. It had probably been abandoned by it's owner. Poor thing, people can be so cruel. I picked up the kitten and cuddled it close to me. It looked damn near starved, I could feel it's ribs. I almost cried when it's blue eyes looked up at me. It was saying "Help me." My heart was warmed to the core. I couldn't let it suffer any longer. So I rushed back to the drugstore it needed milk and food right away. I got a litter box, litter (of course), purified water, milk, a blanket and tons and tons of Seafood Medley. Then off to the clubhouse. Apollonia Naranjas, Miracle Worker to the rescue! There was a slight problem and that was Tig, he wasn't used to having pets around. But he would have to going to get used to it because no one was going to abandoned this little one anymore. At least until we find a good home for her. In the meantime

I quickly snuck into the clubhouse holding the little baby kitty in my blanket. I was almost in the clear when she started to meow again. She was so hungry. "Sssh, Mrs. Puff." I said. Yes, I already named her. Is there a problem? "Do you want us to get caught?"

Mrs. Puff meowed again. It brought tears to my eyes. Poor thing couldn't help it. Mama used to have some sort of animal around when me and Cassius were growing up. We had five dogs, three cats, a chinchilla, a ferret, four hamsters and a bird, from the time I was six months old till I moved out. The bird is still with my mom as far as I know but who knows by now? I don't keep track. I was almost down the hallway to open Tig's door when I heard someone coming down the hallway. Shit, what do I do? There wasn't anything I could do, he already spotted me just as he turned the corner. So I pretended to be looking through my purse still holding the blanket gently in one hand.

"Hey Apples." I heard Chibs say.

"What?!" I snapped.

"What?" he said stopping to look at me, obviously confused.

"What did you say?"

"I said hey." Chibs said frowning at me. "Oh." I said with a laugh, opening Tig's door. "Hey." I said. He narrowed his eyes at me and before I could turn around and run in the room he said. "Alright, what are ya hiding?"

"Hiding? I'm not hiding anything." I said turning around and holding Mrs. Puff close to me.

"Yeah you are." he said, leaning against the wall opposite of me. "Now spill what is it?"

I sighed. "You can't tell Tig at least not right now."

Chibs looked even more suspicious. "Why?"

"Because, he just can't know. I got to tell him." He looked at the bag and saw the cat food. "Damn it, Apples." Oh shit, here comes the wave of Scottish fury. "Are you feeding the strays again? They're so many of them around here now because of you."

"No. And those sad meows can really drive you crazy, you know?" I said, unwrapped the blanket and showed him the oh so adorable Mrs. Puff. "Holy shit." he said, pushing his hair back.

"Yeah, I just want to get her well."

"Tiggy, isn't going to like this."

"I know."

"Well, I won't tell him if you don't. But you can't be sure he won't find out."

"Thanks Chibs." I said giving him a half hug. "And Mrs. Puff thanks you too."

"Yeah, yeah." He said walking off.

I sat in Tig's room, fed her, stroked her and hugged her. She truly hadn't eaten in days she was incredibly hungry. She ate all of her food, and drank a crap load of milk and water. Poor thing. She was so weak she could barely walk. After a couple hours she ran out of water. She wasn't going to die on my watch.

After filling the bowel and placing in the room, I needed some fresh air. I walked out the room and sat on the ground trying to recollect my thoughts. I must've been day dreaming and came back to earth because I heard heavy footsteps all of a sudden. Shit Tig was coming. Tig was halfway to his room when I jumped on top of him. "Shit! Hey babe." he said after almost losing his balance. I was more than half his weight so it was almost too easy for him to carry me.

"Hey!" I said kissing him on the cheek and hugging him tightly. "What'cha doing?"

"Nothing." he frowned and put me down. "You're hiding something."

"No I'm not."

"Yeah you are."

"No I don't think so." I gave my best innocent smile and said in a too sweet voice. "So what makes you think I'm hiding something?"

"Now you're stalling."

"Stalling?"

"Yep."

"I'm not stalling." Yes I was and I think I did a pretty good job at it too.

"Yeah you are!" He tried to walk into his room but I was in front of the door. "Hey do you want to play Clue?" I asked. "No, I want to get in my room. I have a box of cigars calling my goddamn name." he said trying to push me out the way but I held my ground. "Life? Mouse Trap? Scrabble? Trivial Pursuit?"

"No! Move out the way, Apples!"

"Apples to Apples?" Haha. Get it? "Connect Four? Dungeon and Dragons? Chinese Checkers? Normal Checkers? Chess? Cricket? Trouble? Uno? Monopoly? Candyland-."

"Apples?" he asked calmly. "Yes, Tig my love?" I said feeling really small right now. He was getting angry. "Who the hell is in there?" he asked.

"No one." Liar! He pushed me out the way and had his hand on the doorknob.

"Tiggy, baby you don't want to look in that room!" I said, hoping he would head my warning.

"Stay away from me." he said opening the door. Mrs. Puff's was curled up in his bed purring and dreaming. "Aww." I said holding my hands together.

He glared at me. "Apples?" he asked. Uh oh I was in trouble. "What the hell is a cat doing in my bed?"

"Well she was half starved and alone. Her owner must've abandoned her. Can we keep her please?" I begged pouting my lips.

"No." he said. I buried my head in his chest. "Pwease?" I said in the sweetest voice I could manage. "Pleeeeeaaassssssseee?"

"No."

I looked up at him with tears forming in my eyes. My puppy dog pout has gotten me practically anything I wanted. I made my lip quiver and I started to whimper. "Please....?"

He rolled his eyes he was starting to give in. I hugged him even tighter and said into his chest. "Pllllleeeeeeeeeaaaassssseeee."

"Fine. But you better pick up after it. And get it out of my bed!"

"Yay!" I said throwing my arms up in the air and kissing him on the cheek.

In the upcoming months, Mrs. Puff got older and stronger. Soon she could walk, eat, drink and play on her own. Her normal playing buddy is Tig but its usually against his will. That's just being nice about it they hate each other. Oh well.

* * *

_Okay fixed them spelling issues in the last chapter. Not that I expect you to read it over, just a update. lol The next chapter will have a younger Jax in it for all you Jax lovers. Review please or Mrs. Puff will hate you. lol (Just kidding, I need some sleep. XD)_


	17. Antsy Pants

Jax Teller had the hots for me ever since the first day he saw me, even though he had a girlfriend. Tara I think her name was. He was about sixteen at the time I think but then again who could blame him. We were pretty close in age. About seven years give or take. Closer than Tig and I were. Tig was about thirteen years older than me, but I liked older men. I think me having a crush on David Bowie when I was eight might've had something to do with it. Jax was always giving me hugs like really close hugs and complimenting me on my outfits. If he was maybe nine years older I think I would go for it. He was a pretty handsome kid.

So anyway I promised Gemma that I would cook her some gumbo for her to try. (We've gotten pretty close after the whole Darby incident, I must say) so as I was chopping some hot peppers Jax came in the kitchen.

He pointed to a habanero pepper. "How hot is that?" he asked. He's obviously never been in a Hispanic household of any kind. This was a red one. The type that are hotter than any of the pepper ever. So hot it even burned to touch it. I had to wear gloves so I could dice the gumbo up a bit to give it a little kick. "Hotter than hell." I said. He stared at it for a little bit then said. "I bet I can eat that." Psh, yeah that's what Tig said. I've never seen so much sweat, tears and prayers in my life.

"Yeah right." I said. "You couldn't."

"Say I won't." He dared me with one eyebrow raised.

"It's not that you won't, you just can't."

"How much you want to bet?" he asked. I thought of what was the perfect punishment for him being such a jackass. I pulled out my 80's aerobics a few weeks ago, I'll make him do the intense stair exercises with me. Cue the evil laugh. To be that cocky and young he needed to be dropped down a peg. I took out the cold water from the fridge. "If you lose you have to do stair aerobics with me."

"Fine." he said with a nod. "And if I win you owe me fifty bucks and you have to eat one."

Dude I was raised on these things. Making me give you fifty hurts more than eating one of those things. "Fine, doesn't matter you're going to lose." I said.

"I don't think so."

Cocky motherfucker. I put the cold water out and placed the whole pepper on a napkin. Jax stood in front of it eyeing the pepper down like it was going to take it easy on him if he acted tough.

"Okay, ready, set go." I said, watching the massacre take place.

He shoved a pepper in his mouth and bit down. The instant he made that horrible mistake that his face turned red. Like bright red. Sweat fell from his brow, his eyes were watering and mucus was falling from his nose. He spat out the pepper and ran for the cold water and shoved it down his throat for dear life. I was laughing my ass off. He coughed, and gagged for air. "I'm gonna die!" he screamed, running for water in the sink once the cold water was done.

I slammed my fist on the counter from laughing. By the time he was able to calm down and my laughter ceased I said. "So aerobics tomorrow?"

He glared at me hard. I mean really fucking hard.

_The Next Morning..._

Jax thought I forgot. WRONG! I wouldn't let this moment slip. It was early in the morning about seven. I pretty much pulled Jax out of bed and dragged him downstairs. Jax was wearing gray sweats and a wife beater. I told him he only had to elevate the stair a inch but once again he had to be cocky. So he elevated it two inches. When the video first started he was dancing around like he had ants in his pants. Jumping on and off and back on again, like he was in a club or something. That was the first ten minutes we still had fifty to go.

He was sweating so badly his hair was soaked and his sweats were sticking to him. I told him he only needed one inch. I was highly amused watching his energy level slowly decrease to zero. He was so tired by the time we got to thirty his legs weren't working with him and he fell twice. By the time we were done Jax was on the floor sleeping. He couldn't even get himself up to take a shower. When I woke him up he dragged himself to the shower quite literally. I was never sure if he made it but it was entertainment at his expense.

He never dared to challenge me like that again.

* * *

_Reviews would be much appreciated. Thanks for the suggestions on the last couple chapters guys. I really appreciate feedback._


	18. Chewable Tobacco

Tig took off his helmet as he stared at a dirty dusty trailer. It wasn't far from Charming but still far enough for my ass to hurt. I took off my helmet and straightened my hair with my fingers. "So you ready?" he asked, taking my hand. I nodded. In reality I knew I wasn't ready. He never talked much about his family or his past. I don't think he enjoyed looking back down memory lane. He lived in the now, not the future nor the past. He just buried it. I asked on more than one occasion. He only showed me a picture of his family.

Tig was a exact replica of his father, only Tig wasn't bald and greasy looking. His mother looked like Lily St. Cyr a very beautiful woman with his blue eyes. He never told me what happened to either one of them. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know. He carried around so much hurt and anger, I wish I could help him.

The trailer grass surrounding the trailer was dried and was filled with old clothes, broken beer bottles, cigarette buds and a old car that looked like it hadn't been run since the 70's. The door to the trailer was beaten in and the screen was torn almost in half. One part was hanging down and holding for dear life while the other side held firm. Tig knocked on the side of the door. We waited for a couple of seconds and Tig knocked on the door harder.

"Wait a goddamn minute ya dick!" I heard a raspy old voice yell. Tig rolled his eyes and pulled me closer to him. Maybe because he wanted to or maybe just for comfort. I didn't care. It was a few minutes later when the door opened. A old man who looked almost exactly like Tig except fat, bald, and greasy. He was wearing a greasy, arm pit stained wife beater shirt, and food stained jeans. He looked at Tig. "What the hell do you want, boy?" he asked with a permeantly placed frown on his face.

"Nothing, dad." he said dully. "Just came here to make sure you're still alive."

"You think I can't take care of myself, boy? Shit, I don't need you or that whore of a mother you had. Shit." He cracked his back and spat on the ground only a couple inches from my boot. I backed out of the way just in time. "Ewww." I said, still holding onto Tig's hand. He peaked out of the door and smiled at me. "Well didn't see ya darlin'." he said to me. "Sorry about that."

"Um, sure. I guess." I said stepping around the sloppy mess. He turned back to Tig, a deep seething anger placed explicitly on his face. "Well boy didn't know ya had a girlfriend. Come in here darlin'." he said opening the door. I looked at Tig and he nodded. We both walked inside, I stayed so close to him I could smell the cigar he had this morning. The house was completely filthy and that was being nice about it. Clothes, paper, pens, phone cords practically anything you can name was scattered all across the floor and around the trailer. What a pack rat. No wonder Tig always threw everything out. He didn't bother to clean. Old food and beer that had spilled months, maybe even years ago was still there. Cobwebs, dust and large clumps of goo lined the inner corners of the wall. I think it's fair to say that I hated this place already. "Sit down." he said coughing up his lungs and spitting into a cup.

Tig pushed a bunch of junk off the lumpy, old couch and made room for me. I sat as close as I could to him. "So tell me boy, why you're really here. Ya need some money again? Shit, every time I jump ya need some sort of money."

"I don't need nothing." he said callously. "_You're_ always the one asking for money-."

"Ya know them checks I get from the government don't pay shit. Ever since fucking Regan got in office my money has gone down the goddamn toilet. You got in with that motorcycle club now aren't ya? I know ya makin' money on the side. Don't act like I'm blind to that shit the Sons do. Ya got a nice house, beautiful girl, ya got ya damn health but ya can't lend the man who gave ya his name a helpin' hand eh? All of a sudden ya think ya too good to give me some of that dough?"

"No."

"So why can't you share with your old man?"

"You-."

"C'mon tell me I can take it." he said cutting Tig off.

"You spend-."

"C'mon tell me."

"Pops, you-."

"Get the shit out of ya mouth and tell me why you can't lend a fuckin' hand to help ya old man!"

"Fuck it." Tig said leaning back against the old couch. The old man looked at me up and down and smiled. He was missing three teeth in the front. Jesus Lord almighty I hope for dear life that Tig doesn't turn out to look like that. "So darlin'." he said, leaning towards me. His breath really stunk, I mean really stunk. "You want somethin' to eat or drink?" he asked gently.

"Um, no thanks."

"Old Alex boy keeping you happy?" he asked shoving more tobacco in his mouth. Yuck. I could only imagine what his mouth looked like on the inside. I nodded. "He does."

"Well if you get tired of him there's always a place here for ya." he siad.

"Shut the fuck up, dad." Tig said in a warning voice.

"Well ain't my fault you can't a woman happy longer than a day you know why?" Holy shit. He was actually really good thank you very much you old fat ugly bastard! "Because you're a pussy. Might as well been one of 'em fags because you ain't nothing but a cotton ball fuck."

"Yeah, yeah." Tig said finally getting up.

"Boy," he said spitting into his cup. "Since you ain't doing nothing go and get me a beer." Tig clenched his fist and muttered something as he walked to the fridge. He grabbed a beer popped it open and stomped over to his gross dad, while I tried not to meet his eyes.

"What's your name Shug?" he asked me. Shug?! What type of name is Shug? I hate the name Shug. It's short for sugar. Why does sugar need a shorter name? It's already short as it is. I was tempted to give him a random name, like Gemma, Daniel, Bobby or something but I wasn't sure if he knew any of those people. "Apollonia." I said staring at Tig. "Harry." he said spitting in his cup. "I don't know about you, but I think Shug is a better name for ya." I don't. Shug as any name first, last, middle, nick etc, should be banned! When Tig handed him the beer he snatched it and gulped it down. "Boy, you've grown even softer than before. Ever since your slut mother ran off with that goddamn Red skinned son of a bitch you've gotten so damn soft."

"Uh huh." Tig said folding his arms.

Harry gulped the beer done to practically nothing and threw it on the floor, he burped and spat in his cup again. You know I don't know about how anyone else feels about this but that's really fucking gross and it was starting to get on my last nerves. Tig looked at the clock with one hand working. We hadn't been there for ten minutes but it felt like a lifetime. Heaven only knows how he made it eighteen years with that man. He was maddening. "Well we're leaving."

"Oh so soon Shug?" he asked in a soft voice. "Well come back and visit me now, ya here?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah. Sure." I said, pulling Tig away. Tig was going to slug him at any moment.

"Not going to say bye to me, boy?" Harry snapped.

"Bye dad." Tig said through gritted teeth.

"Get out of here ya pussy." he said. When Tig was out the house he exhaled. "Jesus Christ, I hate that man." He spat, shaking with anger. Have you ever been so mad that, you wanted to punch something, tear it to shreds, destroy it but you can't? For whatever reason you couldn't fight back or even defend yourself? You were vulnerable and you hated it? Well that's how Tig felt. He was used to hitting someone if they pissed him off. Don't know why he restrained himself now. I guess hitting a fat, old, smelly man isn't quite the fair fight.

"Why do you visit him then?" I asked turning to face him and wrapping my arms around him and stroking his back.

"Making sure he's still alive. Only every couple of months." he shrugged. "If he dies I get his money. I just want to make sure the miracle really happened with my own eyes."

"Normally I would scold you for such a thought, but you know I think that it's for the best.." I said curling up on him. "Don't know how you deal with it." We stood there for a couple of minutes trying to forget that bitter man, wallowing in his own filth. "Hey I have a great idea." I said.

"What?"

"We could get cherry Slurpee's and sneak them into the movies again."

"You live life on the edge, Apples." he said as we walked to his motorcycle holding his hand in mine.

* * *

_Sorry for the lack of story. (It's been a day or so) I celebrated my birthday on the 14th and I got a tattoo. So my arm is pretty sore. Leave me a review and tell me what you think. I think meeting the families would be the most awkward thing ever._


	19. Bitch Sneeze

I've discovered that I'm not the most coordinated person standing up or sitting down. I will get to that story in a second but first answer me this. Have you ever felt like you were going to sneeze but for some reason it just wouldn't come up? Anna Mae (a sweet butt and a even sweeter friend) was pouring drinks for Tracy, Portia (Tracy's new roommate), Tig, Bobby Elvis and myself. I must've been getting a cold because I felt like I had to sneeze but nothing came up.

I tried to drink a little more nothing. I tried holding my breath and even trying to tickle my nose but nothing worked. It felt like it was right under the tip of my nose but nothing could help it. Trying to carry on a conversation like the rest was a difficult task especially when you felt yourself about ready to rip your insides apart from sneezing so hard. Every time I laughed it felt like the sneeze was coming up and then nothing. I looked like a idiot for the fact that I would pause the conversation to fucking sneeze and there was nothing.

"You alright, love?" Anna Mae asked. I nodded and ignored the burning feeling in my nose. After about an hour I figured it wasn't going to happen so I let down my guard. That was a dire mistake. Suddenly I felt a great force shoot up from my body. I didn't have enough time to prepare my guard was already down for the count. Suddenly and literally out of nowhere that sneeze came up full force.

"ACHOOO!" I said practically yelling it. I didn't sneeze bitch sneezes, I sneezed pretty hardcore. It would've been a relief except I fell off the bar stool backwards and landed flat on my back. "Ow..." I managed to say. Portia, Anna Mae and Tracy were too busy looking at me to see if there was any sign of life but Tig and Bobby thought it was the funniest thing they'd ever seen. They were dying laughing.

"That's not funny!" Portia exclaimed at the two of them.

"Yeah..." I said weakly. I tried to stand up but I couldn't. Tig still laughing eventually walked over to pick me up. For some reason my ankles weren't working. "Stand up." Tig demanded. "I can't." I said whining a bit in pain. It sucked so much, I had to go to the hospital again. It hadn't even been a year since the last accident. I sprained one ankle and badly hurt the other. I was in a wheelchair for a month andTig sucked as a nurse.

I was sitting on the couch with a ice covered ankles. Tig bought me a tiny bell so in case I needed him I could give it a ring. Tig was pretty humble about it for a little bit, taking care of me and all. Until I rang the bell literally every time I needed him. Then he started to get annoyed. I shook the bell once and waited for him to enter. He didn't show up. So I rang it again even harder.

He stomped into the room. " Jesus, you rang!" He exclaimed. That attitude needs to be dropped down a peg indefinitely Mr. Trager. "I would like something to eat, baby." I said sweetly. He rolled his eyes walked into the kitchen and a few minutes later came back with a peanut butter and jelly sand which. Yummy. He gave me the plate and walked back out. I admit I did this slightly on purpose from all those times I had to smile and look pretty while bikers stared and bitches glared plus it tickles me to see him be my slave. I rang the bell again. He stopped, balled his fist and took a deep breath.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"I would like some milk please. Oh and a drink with a twist of lemon." I blew a kiss. He gave me his blue eyed glare and walked back to the kitchen. Another few minutes later he came back with milk, a glass of water and a whole lemon. He put the lemon on the plate with the peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, followed by a quick glare. Clever Mr. Trager. Very clever. He turned to walk away. Now this was going to make me laugh. I rang the bell again. He turned around and sighed. "What now?"

"Boredom." I laughed. He snatched the bell from my hand and threw it on the other side of the room. How rude! What am I suppose to do now? Read Cosmo for the third time? Watch another Oprah show? I could always watch Cops, but it becomes repetitive after awhile. "Hey! Give that back!" I yelled.

"Walk over here and get it." he said walking back to the bedroom.

"Cheater!" I yelled.

That wasn't the last incident of his incompetence as a nurse. Now I know why he's a mechanic. He wasn't meant to save lives, just put his oily hands on them and strangle the life out of it. We had to get x-rays done on my sprained ankle. We were in a elevator at the hospital. Me in a wheelchair and him still a little hung over from us engaging in the smoking of joints and drinking. That was the night I fell out my wheelchair and my shoulder was still sore. So lucky him he had to push me. He leaned against the elevator wall and watched the numbers go up until it reached the Eighth floor. When the eighth floor came around two of us were in the elevator. One of us came out. Guess who was left behind? "Tig!" I yelled as the elevator door closed.

"Hmm?" I heard him say then he was out of sight and I was going back down. It took him nearly an fifthteen minutes to find me. We almost missed out appointment. I made a mental note to next time hire help in the event of me being handicapped. He would probably kill me. He even stole my pain medication so he could trip out. I hope he gets himself in a pickle like I did. So I can "accidentally" kick his crippled ass down a flight of stairs.


	20. Michael Myers

I checked the calender again and again. I was at least two weeks late. Shit, I couldn't be late. That would be just ridiculous. I tried to go through all the excuses I could think of besides being knocked up. I probably hadn't been eating right so maybe my system was bugging out on me. I wasn't worried about it. It would work out. I examined myself in the mirror. I wasn't sure if I slept on it wrong but my back was killing me. Plus my boobs were a little sore, and they looked a little rounder. It was alright but I already had enough tits to go around. Not to mention I was still tired. Even though I had almost ten hours of sleep. Jesus, was I tired.

I walked back to the bedroom and went to go lay down on the big bed. It was so damn comfortable I didn't want to leave. I was disturbed from my light slumber when someone was frantically hitting my door. I rushed outside and checked through the window first. Matted blond hair that was knotted and filled with bald spots and brown roots was the first thing I saw. Her face was covered with sweat, dirt and blood. She was wearing a dirty white dress that was torn and dirtied and not to mention wasn't wearing any shoes.

Violet Newbridge. She disappeared off the face of the earth and now she's come back to haunt me until she finally overdoses.

I opened the door and she immediately fell into my arms. Not only did she smell like a dirty pussy but she smelled like a whore. You know that weird smell you get after you have sex. Not the brightest smell in the world. In fact it should be banned from the book of smells. It's horrible. "Violet?" I asked.

"Is that you Cassius?" she asked looking right into my eyes. "You look so pretty today and you smell so good." She has completely lost it. She stroked my face. "Do I look pretty too? We can be pretty together."

"Violet? It's me Apollonia. Your sister-in-law remember?"

"Ssssssh." She said placing a dirty finger to my lips. Ick. "Lets just not talk about her. Lets just stay here."

"You're high as a kite aren't you?"

"Hitler hurt me, Cassius." she said strokingmy hair with both hands. "I didn't give him the money for my debt and he..." she stopped and started crying her eyes out. I assumed she meant Darby. He was responsible for selling meth. Outside of Charming of course. SAMCRO always kept all the hard drugs out of Charming.

"How did he hurt you?" I asked, trying to ignore her stench.

"He and some of his friends said they had another way to pay off my debt." She said lifting up her dress. Dried blood stuck to the inside of her legs like glue. The stench only got worse as the dress was pulled up more above her knee.

"How long ago was this?" I asked. She leaned her head back and counted the pictures on the walls. "One, two, three, four, five, six.."

"Violet!" I said pulling her forward so her face came close to mine. She raised a bloody eyebrow. "I need to know, tell me?"

She smiled a weak smile at me. She was here but her eyes said something different. She was too far gone for me to try and make sense of what she was doing. "Have you moved?" she asked me, looking around. "Where's the kids?" She looked at the couch, ran up to it and started hugging and kissing the arm of the couch. "Mama has missed you, Mimi." She ran over and kissed the other side of the couch. "You too Joel." She looked back at me and said. "I promise things will be different, Cassius." she said, kissing the arm of the chair. I never liked Violet but this was purely pathetic. Whatever Darby and his thugs did to her caused her to snap big time. It was sad, to be so mentally broken down that you couldn't recognize one person from the other. It was scary. I had known has practically all my life and she didn't even know who I was. She mistaken a arm of a couch for her own children.

I didn't know who else to call, but Anna Mae at the clubhouse. She took about four years of psychology until her folks found out she wasn't going to become a nurse but a psychologist. So they forced her to drop out of college, but instead of becoming a nurse she ran away to California and decided to become a actress. Jeez, I need normal friends. I called the clubhouse and to my relief she immediately answered. "Talk to me." She said.

"Hey Anna Mae." I said nervously keeping an eye on Violet who was still holding the arm of the couch and caressing it.

"Apples, hun. What's up?"

"Just have to know something. What do you call someone who has completely lost it?"

"Such as?"

"Like they don't even recognize you, even if they known you for years."

"Oh dear. What happened?"

"I just need to know now. I don't know what to do."

"Okay, okay. Well that could be a nervous breakdown. Is she or he acting violently? Like tearing shit up or whatever?"

"No she thinks my couch is her child."

"Oh no." That obviously meant this wasn't good. "Has she hurt herself. Any cuts, burns, or bruise down to herself to your knowledge."

"No, but I think someone hurt her."

"Who are we talking about here? Is Tig okay?"

"He's fine, it's not him. It's my sister-in-law."

"The psycho one that Clay always cracks jokes about? Most of which involve some sort of SAMCRO conspiracy theory?"

"Yep."

"Well I got some bad news. If she comes out of it she'll need some serious medication and therapy. You'll be lucky if she sees the outside of a mental hospital. Lets just hope it's not a total mental breakdown."

"Jesus."

"Uh huh. Sorry babe."

"I know. But what should I do?"

"My best bet is to make sure she doesn't hear you when you do this, but you might have to call 911. Tell her that you're dealing with a mental case. They might call some specialist but it depends on if she's a danger to herself or anyone else."

"Thanks, love." I said.

"No problem. Good luck."

"Bye bitch."

"Bye."

* * *

So after diving into the bathroom making a quick couple calls, Violet was sent out by some doctors. She didn't start acting violently I don't even think she knew she was going anywhere. It was depressing to see her in such a state. Even though she was a crank whore she was still my sister in the eyes if God. The worst part was I had to be the one to tell Cassius the news of his wife's condition. Cassius was shocked she about her mental state, but not about what happened to her to drive her to that point. He had to rush off to see her.

I needed to drive just to get away, so I jumped in the Cadillac and drove off. One to find Tig, and number two I needed the air. Darby was a low piece of shit. How could anyone be so cruel? I keep asking myself that question over and over trying to make sense of it. Cruelty is in human blood. We treated our people and our Earth with such barbarity over the years. Cruelty of man should be a wonder of the world not a monument. Tigis the protector for the club. I know he has to do cruel things, but unlike the other old ladies I didn't want to know. I already had an image of him that I didn't want anything to taint with it. Eventually it will come out but not right now. I couldn't take it right now.

I sat with my feet propped up on a nearby table in the clubhouse. The boys were out doing a quick run, they would be back in a few. But until then it was just me and Anna Mae who was looking through a horror movie magazine behind the bar. "I want a ferret." Anna Mae said, turning the pages of the magazine.

"Yeah? I want a dog."

"Then get one. Tig doesn't like dogs?" she asked, staring at a picture of Michael Myers. She always stared at him. I swear she had the hots for a crazy man with a knife.

"He does but he doesn't want one. I was lucky to get Mrs. Puff."

"How did you two meet?"

"Tig and I? He stalked me."

She looked up from her magazine and chuckled. "Seriously?" I nodded. "Yep. Never was a sweet butt in my life." Anna Mae put the magazine aside and smiled. "Dude that's so hot."

I looked up at her and cocked my head to the side. "Really?"

"Yeah, that's so romantic. In a love at first_ fright_ sort of way."

"You're so weird Anna Mae."

"I wouldn't mind being stalked by him or one of the guys. I mean I want to grab me one so I don't have to work anymore and I can focus more on my acting career."

"Oh yeah being scream queen or something like that?"

"Mhm." she said. "You know how long I wanted to be that? Ever since I was eight. I told you I was a zombie movie extra right?"

"Yeah only seven times."

"Well it was amazing to just be in make up. I was in the front row too can you believe it? Then that serial killer victim part was amazing! I got five minutes of screen time."

I cannot tell you how many times Anna Mae has told me that. If she ever makes it into the big time I will never hear the end of this shit. Finally after who knows how long of horror movie talk, the guys came in but one of them I did not recognize. He was a handsome guy. Suave haircut, and some serious muscles. He had a patch on his cut that said Tacoma. I could tell Tigdidn't like him. He kept giving him his don't-go-to-sleep-tonight look. I walked up to Tig and gave him a quick kiss and a hug.

"Hey Apples." he said, running his hand down my back. Tacoma was staring at us, and especially me. "Oh Tiggy." he said with a smug smile. "You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend."

"Well now you know." he snapped.

Tacoma looked at me. Please, don't touch me. I got a some serious nausea and I'll throw my shit on you. "How are you?"

"Having cramps up the yingyang and I think I have a stomach virus but other than that can't complain." I said giving him a blank look.

"You really know how to get a guys attention." he smiled.

Tigglared at him and Tacoma sized him up. Since both of them were way taller than me I was squished between the two. I tried to look for a way out but I was trapped. That wasn't good. "You have something to say Tiggy?"

"Yeah, Clay is calling you." Tigsaid nodding towards Clay's direction. Clay obviously wanted to watch the slaughter as much as Anna Mae did. (She was standing on her tip toes to see the action). Tacoma sneered at him and winked at me. I just stared and blinked apathetically. I didn't need for Tig to be mad at me as well. "So?" I said trying to distract Tig when he was gone. "You smell like gun powder and whiskey."

"Yeah." he said walking away from me to go grab a beer from Anna Mae who went back to reading her horror magazine. "Had to make sure all the guns were alright. Wouldn't want ATF on our trail again."

"Yeah." I said. I hesitated and said quickly "So my psycho sister-in-law came back."

"What did she want now?"

"Nothing. Had a mental breakdown."

"Nervous breakdown." Anna Mae corrected taking a sip from her beer and returning back to looking at Elvira costumes. "Right, thanks love." I said.

"No problem." she said turning the page again.

"Well, where is she now?"

"Some mental hospital outside of San Joaquin."

"Oh." Tig said apathetically. "Well I heard the food isn't that bad. Maybe she'll come back out of there and start killing people like Michael Myers."

"What about Michael?!" Anna Mae exclaimed. When she realized that Tig really didn't care she muttered something and return back to her magazine. I however wasn't paying attention to either one of them. The word or even the thought of food made my stomach turn. This was some vicious stomach virus. I didn't throw up but I sure as hell felt like it. I grabbed my stomach and waited for the flood. After awhile I realized it wasn't going to happen, Anna Mae and Tig were looking at me. I opened my eyes. "What? Don't look at me like I'm strange."

"You okay?" Anna Mae asked.

"Yeah. Think I'm getting a stomach virus." Both of them took a step back from me. "I'm not infectious!" They still took another step back from me. "Assholes. Screw you both!"

"Don't be sore babe." Tig said.

"I'm not. Uh Tig? I think Darby hurt Violet because of her crank debt."

"How?"

"I think he...you know....forced her to do stuff she didn't want to do."

"Really?" Tig asked cocking his head to to the side. I nodded. "'s probably all in her head, she's a lunatic you know." Wow, insensitive much? Yeah she was crazy but I saw it with my own eyes. Hell I smelled it. Unless she's just so damn convincing Darby did it, and he would do it. He was a heartless son of a bitch.

"Hey do you think I would look good with a Michael Myers costume?" Anna Mae asked both of us. Obviously not paying attention to the conversation. "You know for the Halloween Party?" It surprised me how callous and apathetic Tig really could be, then again I wasn't all that surprised. I rolled my eyes and walked off, Tig following at my heels. "What's the matter?" he asked me. I didn't answer his question until we were in his apartment and I slammed the door.

"You and the rest of the guys may think her mental disorder is some sort of joke, but I don't. It's not funny." I said my arms folded.

"You have to admit her bugging the hell out over SAMCRO is funny as hell-."

"No it's not!" I exclaimed. I didn't know where all this built up emotion came from, because I wasn't mad at him. "I mean if something was really wrong with me you wouldn't want Clay or any of the other guys talking shit. You would kill them if they even dared."

"Yeah."

"Then don't make fun of my sister!" Tears started falling down my face. Am I PMS-ingagain? Why am I crying? "Can you imagine looking someone who you've known your whole life in the eyes and they don't have a clue who you are? Yeah she is a drug addict, and crazy but she needs help. You shouldn't laugh at people who don't have control over themselves like that."

Tig exhaled heavily and shrugged. "Alright, I know."

I folded my arms and pouted. "Then don't do it again."

"I won't." he said pulling me by the arm back to him. "Now stop being so goddamn cranky."

"Okay." I said smiling.

* * *

Less than a couple hours later I was roaming the hallways of the clubhouse, drinking a cherry Slurpee when that nausea came back. There was no way I could hold it until I reached the bathroom. It was coming up full force. I busted open someones door and looked for something I could throw up in. Anything at all. I saw a empty Elvis shaped bank thing and I put my lips through that sucker and threw up as hard as I possible can. All while trying not to drop my wonderful cherry Slurpee. When I finished I put the Icy goodness on my head took a few good breaths and quickly ran out the room and down the hallway before anyone could catch me. Fucking stomach virus.

* * *

_Yeah the whole throwingup in a unwanted place and leaving was inspired by Juno. Haha. "Tacoma" as Apples called him was the guy in "The Culling" who was challenging Tig. I wanted to explore to see why they had such a bad relationship. _


	21. Piggly Wiggly

I ate breakfast this morning. The best breakfast I ever made. Pancakes, with bacon and eggs and French toast. Then wouldn't you know this persistent stomach virus caused me to throw up hard this morning. The throwing up caused my nerves to just die. Everything I tried to do went wrong. Tig stepped on my hair dryer and didn't tell me so I had to use the crappy second one I had. I dropped my tooth brush in the toilet, I threw up again, I fell going up the stairs, I forgot to turn the clothes dryer on so I had to wear hobo clothes but above all I was pissed off at Tig. Not for breaking my hair dryer but he called me fat!

As everyone knows I started doing yoga, and breaking out my old aerobic tapes. Not that I was fat or even chubby before but my stomach just recently had gotten flatter and my muscles were improving. I even wore more belly shirts (mostly to show off my new belly button ring) because I thought Tig would enjoy it. I didn't think he thought of me as fat before! He told me this just as I was coming out the shower. I forgot to grab a towel so I was walking around our room naked, no big deal. He came behind me and ran his fingers through my wet hair and said; "Damn have you lost weight?"

What the fuck? Am I paranoid or did he call me fat? It was like he seemed surprised that I lost weight. I was never that bad. I pushed him away and continued to get dress. That was the icing on top of my already crummy morning.

"What?" he asked.

I didn't say anything. I blow dried my hair with the shitty hair dryer, and he had enough nerve to try and talk over the shitty hair dryer which wasn't hard. You know why? Because it's shitty! "What did I say?" he asked.

I glared at him. Rude son of a bitch.

"What?!" he exclaimed.

I put on a belly shirt, sweats and boots. These boots were made for walking, soI walked away from him. Now he was pissed at me. "What the hell did I say goddamn it!" he yelled to my back. I put my hair up in a pony tail because I had no time to straighten my hair. After I was done that task I yelled at the top of my lungs. "Called me fat!"

"What?!"

"YES!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"I said you lost weight!"

"That means I was fat before!"

"No it's a compliment. You've always looked good."

"Uh huh...." I said, turning my back to him and walking out the front door and slamming it. He followed me out the door. "Where the hell are you going?" He asked.

"The grocery store!" I yelled hopping in the car and slamming the door. He hopped on his bike, he was going to follow me. Oh that little bastard! He always had to have the last word! I threw my purse in the passengers seat and drove off, with him at my heels. He stopped beside me at a red light.

"I wasn't calling you fat, woman!" he yelled at me.

"Yes you were! Now shut up!" I said, slamming down hard on the gas so I could avoid him.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

That continued until we reached the grocery store. I don't know why but the local Charming grocery store reminds me of Piggly Wiggly but it does. I grabbed a cart and walked up and down the aisle checking out the food ignoring Alex and taking the food we needed, and checked it off my list.

"Look," he started. "I wasn't calling you fat. I was paying you a compliment, you look great."

"I didn't look great before?" I asked throwing some pasta noodles into the cart and crossing pasta noodles off the list.

"No, I mean yes."

"No?"

"No I meant that's not what I thought, you looked hot then and you look hot now."

"Not pretty?"

"You are pretty."

"Not beautiful?"

"You are beautiful."

"Not gorgeous?"

"Goddamn!" he said slapping his forehead and dragging his hand down his face. "Yes, you're gorgeous."

"So why didn't you say that?"

"Oh my god!" he said, on the verge of a mental breakdown of his own. "I don't know, but you're driving me crazy." He wasn't paying attention to where he was going and he bumped into a cart. Bobby Elvis just happen to be grocery shopping too. He was in Elvis costume.

"Grabbing some pork chops, Elvis?" I asked.

"Yep. Gotta keep up my strength." he said.

"Sorry, Bobby." Tig said walking out of his way.

"Not a problem, brother." he said taking off in the other direction when he turned around. "Oh by the way I found this red shit in my Elvis bank. Would you both happen to know how who threw up in my bank?"

Tig looked at me. I was the only one who enjoyed cherry Slurpees more than my own life but I shook my head. "Nope. Don't know what you're talking about."

"Hmm.." Bobby said. "Well then see you."

"Bye." Tig and I both said. Tig waited until Bobby was out of sight when he looked at me. "You threw up in his bank didn't you?"

"Yeah.." I said after a bit. "But you can't tell him. It wasn't my fault. It's just this stomach virus I got."

"Still?" he asked, looking at some of the microwave able Thai food. I picked out some Thai food noodles and seasonings. I didn't want him eating that shit on a plate. "Yeah." I said.

"Apples, you've been throwing up like crazy for a week."

"I feel fine. Besides I thought you would want me throwing up. It'll help me lose weight since I'm so fat!" I said zooming off. I think if I pushed him far enough he would've slapped me as hard as he could. He wasn't going to but there was no doubt he wanted to.

"I'm going outside, I need a cigarette." He said walking away, his nerves just as shot as mine. I couldn't help but feel he was right. I've been throwing up a lot, very sensitive boobs, and I suddenly have the sex drive of Casanova. Plus no period. I couldn't ignore the signs anymore. There's two people I could call on for emotional support in this matter, (besides Tig). Mama who was coming back from Puerto Rico in the next couple of days and Anna Mae Howard.


	22. Johnny Cash

Anna Mae and I have gotten closer and closer over the weeks, even before my current predicament. Especially after Portia moved to Washington and Tracy wanted to go back to San Francisco. We all kept in touch but it wasn't the same. So Anna Mae was the only real friend I had left and the only person I could trust with the task of discovering if I was knocked up or not. Anna Mae handed me two pregnancy test boxes and pushed a few strands of blond hair out of her eyes. She was looking down at me when she said.

"Just pee on this sucker and wait for a couple of minutes and it should show you some result."

"Right." I said taking the little pregnancy test. When I looked at the pregnancy test it just reminded me of how many times Tig and I had sex. Like it wasn't just on occasion in our bedroom, like an old married couple. It was everyday and sometimes in the most creative of spots. Such as the roof of the clubhouse, a random party, in one of the abandoned tents at Fun Town, on top of a pool table, the VIP section at an Irish bar, but more recently the back room of some support group for sex addicts. I wasn't sure if they heard the banging but at the time I didn't care. We were so messed up, it seemed almost like a tribute. I think that was the day all of this started.

I whipped out that sucker from the box and peed on it. I drank about three Slurpees earlier today so I was absolutely ready for this. If that little truth stick was negative it would've been so worth the brain freeze.

After peeing on the stick me and Anna Mae waited forever and ever for it to change. Neither one of us wanted to be the first one to talk After a couple minutes had passed, then I looked at that forbidden pregnancy test and behold, a dreaded pink plus. I hit my head against the bathroom wall.

"What's the verdict?" Anna Mae asked, knowing the answer already.

"Ugh. It's probably a Slurpee baby." I said, taking out the other pregnancy test.

"Slurpee baby?"

"Yeah maybe the Slurpees affected it."

"Or you could possibly have a little Tigger in your womb." Anna Mae said getting up and walking out the bathroom to give me some privacy. I rolled my eyes and did the cycle once again, and I got the same answer. The pink fucking plus. Only I didn't tell Anna Mae but she knew.

"What's the prognosis?" she asked, fixing her black dress that was so made back in '85. It would look cute if she didn't swear it nearly all the time. Maybe I was just cranky.

"Once again another plus sign." I said throwing the pregnancy tests in the trash. I walked to my bedroom and curled up in a little ball.

"Son of a bitch. Dude I'm so sorry." Anna Mae said behind me and laying on the bed with me. "You know there's other options-."

"Oh no!" I exclaimed cutting her off. "Abortions are fine for whoever wants to get them but not for me. I'm young and money is good so I'll tell Tig and I'll let him know. I'll just drop by before I have to pick my mom up from the airport."

"Good." Anna Mae said, taking out her nail file. "Because I might need a ride over there."  


* * *

"So what did you need to talk to me about?" Tig asked, wiping his oily hands on a already dirty rag. I hesitated. How does someone tell another someone else they're going to be a father? Especially since he's never been one before. At least to his knowledge. I wasn't used to see him without his cut. It felt sort of strange to look at him. It made me a bit nervous, I don't know why. I ran my fingers through my hair and smiled a bit.

"Um....well." C'mon girl you can say it. Just say that you're going to be a father it's not that hard. I tried and tried over to say those words but they didn't come up. It was stuck like a lump in my throat. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Uh, Tig?"

"Yeah?" he asked slowly starting to become a little concerned.

"Um.." Brain fart! I couldn't remember what I was going to say so I made something up.

"I'm going to pick up my mom now. I just wanted to know if you were going to be home for dinner." I lied. Shit, I'm a fucking screw up!

"Um, yeah. Sure." He said. "Okay." I said kissing him on the cheek.

I looked at Anna Mae who was standing at her usual place behind the bar counter. She gave me two thumbs down. Thanks for the support my dear friend, thank so much. This isn't easy for me you know! I walked out the door, off to pick up my dear mother.  


* * *

"So is this a real relationship this time?" Mama asked as I drove her home from the airport. "I want some reasonably attractive grandchildren." I favored her the most between my parents. I had my dads eyes but I looked like my mom. Same long black hair, full lips, sexy figure (well not hers so much anymore), and above all the little height. I'm actually taller than my mother. She was only four foot eleven, I'm only an inch taller. I missed her of course she was my mother but Mama was so pushy for her kids. She wanted me to be married and have kids by now and I was only twenty-three now. Her worst fear was that I would be a old maid.

"You already have grandchildren." I said, shaking my head. She strongly disliked Violet and had no pity on her, even in her current condition. Violet sat in her room the whole day talking to people that weren't there. It was a sad thing to watch.

"I want ones that won't be serial killers later in life." Mama said, nodding her head.

"Mama..."

"I'm being serious they scare me sometimes. I wonder what they talk about when I'm not around. I bet they're thinking of ways they could take out the old lady."

"They love their grandma."

"Right." Mama, sighed and rubbed her temple. "So this guy, what's he like?"

"Handsome."

"Good start, does he make good money?"

"Mhm. I would say so."

"Really good. How old is he?"

"Um..."

"Um?" Mama asked. "Is he older than you?"

"Yeah."

"By twenty years or more?"

"No but he is older. Like two years older than Cassius."

"Hmm," Mama thought stroking her chin. "He's good looking, hes got money and he likes my daughter. I can overlook that detail." Score! It was a couple minutes later before Mama said something I was hoping to avoid. "Are you still living with that Tracy girl?"

"Um, well not exactly." I said hesitating.

"Then who?" Mama asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well we sort of moved in together. Tig and I." It had to come out sometime. Except Mama believed that two people of the opposite sex who moved in together and weren't married a horrible sin. It could lead to the temptations of the flesh. Not that one doesn't indulge in such acts before one is married. As you can tell she is a very devout Catholic who happened to marry and have kids with a Jew. Yeah, I don't get it either. It's best not to question these things. My mom pushed her lips together and folded her arms.

"Uh huh." she said pouting.

"Oh Mama c'mon. We don't live in the bad part of Charming. He takes care of me."

"Yes, he does I'm sure." she said taking her long black hair out of her pony tail. "But is he going to marry you?" Here we go with the marriage talk. I swear it's either kids or marriage. Marriage or kids. "They sure like girls like that. The ones who move in and you know do it with them but they don't marry them."

"No he will." I said.

"Has he asked you?"

"No."

"Then how do you know?"

"I just do, he loves me."

"They just say that so they can get in and touch you know w-h-e-r-e." She actually spells where. She actually meant p-u-s-s-y, but ever since she gave me the birds and the when I was twelve she always spelled 'where'. She took a good look at me and frowned. "Are you okay baby?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'm okay." I said, ignoring the sickening feeling in my stomach.

"You look a little pale. Have you eaten?"

"Yeah."

"What did you eat?"

"Just some breakfast I made."

"Do you have some sort of virus or something?" Mama asked touching my forehead with the back of her cold hand. "Well you aren't burning up."

"I'm alright Mama!" I snapped. Mama huffed. "Well I was just trying to help!" Damn I'm such a bitch. "I know, Mama. I guess it was somethinig I ate I just need to lay down."

* * *

After almost a whole day of sweating over the new,s I had to tell someone especially my Mama. She had been pregnant twice she knew the deal, I had no clue. I sat mom down and was pacing across the living room floor. Mrs. Puff was sitting on the arm of the chair as Mama petted her. She purred, loudly. I could tell she was happy to receive some special attention. I sighed. "Mama, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry."

"About what baby?" she asked me placing Mrs. Puff on her lap.

"Well I wanted to say-." I heard the door bell ring. "Uh hold on." I said running to the door and opening it. Cassius picked me up and closed the door behind him. "Damnit!" I yelled. Cassius was about six feet tall, I don't get how he got the tall genes in the family. I wanted to be tall my whole life, but he got the lucky genes. He put me down and kissed me on the cheek. "What's up Tink?" he asked.

"Nothing, Baloo." Yeah I called him that because he was like a big, tall cuddly bear. "Came here to see Mama." he said looking over my head, even though he was way beyond that point.

"Mama!" he said running to her. She held out her arms and kissed her son. "How are you my love?" she asked, pinching his cheeks.

"Alright. Just got back from seeing Violet." he said his voice low.

"How is she?" she asked.

"The same."

"Oh that's terrible." Mama said with apathy, she turned back to me and smiled. "You were saying baby girl?"

"Right. Um, well what happened was-." The doorbell rang again except who ever it was just ran inside and into the living room. "Oh my god! How could you not tell him?!" Anna Mae exclaimed running up to me, when she saw my family. "Oh hi." She said with a nervous smile. "I'm Anna Mae."

"Hello." Mama and Cassius said.

"So did you tell them?" Anna Mae asked., handing me a cherry Slurpee. I love you Anna Mae, great way to make up for your mistake of interrupting a family meeting.

"No I was about to." I said, wrapping my lips around the straw to the Slurpee. I hated to be interupted, but it was so worth it to get a Slurpee out of it. Anna Mae stood there waiting anxiously for the news. I waited for a bit, just waiting for the doorbell to ring, or for something to happen and I wanted to get at least my sugar high going.

"Well?" Cassius asked folding his arms.

"I thought the doorbell was going to ring or something." I said, putting the Slurpee on the living room glass table. "Anyway-." The doorbell rang. Motherfucker! I folded my arms and waited for said person to come in. "So what's with all the damn cars in front of the house?" Tig asked storming into the house. "What are we having some sort of goddamn book reading party?" He turned around and looked at my Mom and brother. He already didn't like my brother and the feelings were mutual.

Cassius knew many Mayans and often associated himself with them. Come to think about it practically all his friends were Mayans or Mayan hang around. Cassius strongly disliked the Sons for their hatred for Mayans and a couple of instances where the Sons exchanged racial slurs with them. I already told Tig and the guys that when they were in my house no slur was even allowed. I hate slurs, it makes someone sound like a complete idiot and a arrogant asshole. I told Cassius that me dating Tig had absolutely nothing to do with him but of course like most protective brothers he didn't believe me, which lead to many shouting matches. I just stopped caring about what he thought.

"Hello Mrs. Gorski." he said with a fake smile on his face. Especially taking the Lords name in vain.

"Hello." She said with a nod. She was totally going to ask me about how often he uses 'goddamn' in a daily conversation. I mean do I look like I sit there and write everything he fucking says?

"Cassius." Tig said, not even looking at him.

"Tig." Cassius said with a frown.

"Is everyone here?" I asked, taking another sip from my Slurpee and sitting it back on the table.

"Um, yeah." Anna Mae said looking around.

"Good!" I exclaimed. "Now as I was saying.." I calmed down and decided on the best way to say this. I sighed and started pacing again.

"What's this about?" Tig asked, leaning on on of the chairs in the living room, before I could answer he asked. "Do you need money or something?"

"No."

"Are you on hard drugs?" Cassius asked.

"No."

"Did you hit someone with the Caddie?" Tig guessed again.

"You were fired weren't you?" Mama asked.

"No, Mama. I wasn't fired."

"Dude," Anna Mae said holding a mouse toy over Mrs. Puff's head. "I think you should just say it because I think you're losing them." She was right. I hated when she was right. I sighed and finally exhaled. "I'm pregnant." I waited for the roar of angry screams. Tig stared at me like he just witnessed the atrocities of a world at war. "Mercy?" I said with a nervous smile to him but he didn't find it funny.

"I knew it." Mama said. "You had that special glow. I knew it!"

"Okay so about that mercy." I said feeling the uncomforable emotions in the room. Especially from Tig. "Look if you think this is hurting you, imagine how I must feel. My boobs have been hurting like crazy, my back is on fire, my mood has gone back and forth with the weather, I've been throwing up my guts every morning for the past two weeks. I can barely keep down a cherry Slurpee! But the worst part is I haven't pooped in like four days."

"Eww." Tig finally said, breaking his trance. Welcome back to the world.

"TMI dude." Anna Mae said picking up Mrs. Puff.

"Plus I have some serious heart burn." I added finally ending my long list of complaints.

"So...wait....what?" Tig asked. He was so deathly confused. In fact he was shell shocked.

"So wait tell you didn't actually sleep with _him_." Cassius said with a curious look on his face. Tig snapped out of his shell shocked state once again. "What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Tig asked, his fist balled up.

"I'm sorry champ." Cassius said shrugging. "Just didn't think she would actually sleep with you."

"Um, yes Cassius Henry Gorski." I said taking up for Tig since he had very little patience already. "He is actually very good-."

"Alright, alright, alright." Mama said putting her hands up. "On pool table." I said finishing, under my breath. Anna Mae chuckled and Mama gave me the shut the fuck up look.

"Mama, he started it." I said. pointing to Cassius.

"I don't care! I'll finish it." Mama sighed and took out a piece of paper and pen from her purse. I hear that marriage talk a-coming. It's coming around the bend, as Johnny Cash would say. "Now we need to get you as healthy as possible. No more drinks and no smoking of any sort." she said. "We need to get you to a doctor, I know the perfect one that my best girlfriend's child goes to, and we need to get you put on a proper diet, and some vitamins."

"Okay." I said, waiting for the marriage talk but it never came. I remember when Violet first got pregnant that was one of the first things she said, but I think she learned her lesson the first time. Well considering that her daughter in law is now in a mental institution and her kids will probably be serial killers. I don't know how she avoided the looney bin it all those years. Oh well. At least there was no marriage talk. Here's to you Mama.

I had to admit even though I did feel better about getting that burden off my chest, it still put a horrible damper on dinner. No one really had much to say. I guess that's a shame on me on my part.


	23. Crank Butt

After he found out about the news of the baby Tig's conversation level shot down to zero. After dinner he went down in the basement and locked the door. I assumed he was having a few strong drinks and chain smoking cigarettes. Yeah smart one Plato I'm pregnant and you're smoking in the house. Great way to give me and your child black lungs, dick. I was already in bed by the time he decided to come up from his Tiggy pout and show his face to me. He didn't even look at me he just hopped into bed and called it a day. I poked his shoulder that was to me. I never noticed how many scars he really had. A couple bullet wounds and several other scars I never asked about. It wasn't like I didn't notice it's just I never really looked at them before. I mean how often do you really examine a guys back?

"What?" he finally asked, after I poked him a few times.

"You awake?" I asked.

"No." he lied.

"Why are you being so distant?" I asked, turning on the lamp near the bed. "No goddamn reason." He snapped, not even bothering to try and look at me.

"If you're going to be cranky you could at least have the decency to tell me why you're so pissed off with me."

He sat up and turned around to face me. "Why do you think genius?" he said. "You're having a goddamn kid. What am I suppose to be joyful?"

"Well that would be a start crank butt!"

"You can't just spring this shit on me. What the fuck do you think this is?"

"Well I thought the signs were there, dip shit." I snapped right back at him. No need for name calling I know.

"How was I suppose to know the signs? None of those other bitches who follow the club." Now I took that into very strong offense. Fuck those bitches.

"Then go have another bitch, no one asked you to be a part of this shit. Go ahead and have those other bitches. You're going to be the one who's alone not me!" I yelled. We both folded our arms in a pout. I guess in a way we were spoiled brats. He was used to getting his way one way and so was I. He sighed, and after awhile he said under his breath. "So I guess I have to marry you now." He said. I wasn't sure if he was saying that to be sarcastic or if he was serious.

"No you don't." I said, clearly. He looked at me, like he was extremely hurt. He was used to girls just hanging on his word. The sweet butts would roll over backwards and stuff cream cheese in their twats just to be an old lady. And if he married them, that would be a sight to see. They would spit pea soup and talk backwards. "I really don't want to marry you, dude sorry." I said. I was going straight to the heart at his pride.

I honestly do like him a lot. Could it be love? Maybe, but I didn't need him to survive. I don't think he liked that at all. He was so used to all these girls hanging on him and everything he said they would do. If he said bark like a dog and balance a ball on your nose, they would without a second thought. I wasn't one of those girls. I needed him for emotional support but I wasn't going to let him become my world. My first, last and always. I didn't have a first, last and always, and I didn't want one.

"Then why are you doing this to me?" he asked.

"_I'm_ doing _this_ to _you_?!" I exclaimed. "Why would I do this to you? What could you have done that would make me want to throw my guts up every morning? I'm not one of those whores whose out to try to trap you by having a kid. I want children, Alex but not that badly. If you don't want to be there, then that's your own misfortune. But you don't have to throw up every morning, you don't have to gain weight and become a whale. You're not the one whose going to have to take the dirty looks when we walk in a shop together. You know what people see when they look at your cut and then me walking around with you? I'm another biker whore. I'm a slut. They don't know me, but they judge me. So now I have a kid, what are they going to say? You don't have to deal with the evidence that you had sex with someone. You don't have to walk around with this thing under your shirt!" Now I was yelling at the top of my lungs. Maybe it was the baby that made me so sensitive, we never had a real shouting match before.

"All you had to do was fucking tell me first and not in front of your entire family! How am I suppose to react? Then you decide you want to fucking keep it without fucking telling me?!"

"What are you so goddamn afraid of Tig? Hmm?" I asked cocking my head to the side. "What the fuck are you afraid of? Worried about what Clay and Gemma are going to say? Because I don't give a fuck what they think. This is you and me, not them. You think they care about what you have to say when it comes to Jax? No!"

"I'm not afraid of shit! And I don't give a shit about what Clay or Gemma has to say!"

"Then what are you afraid of?!"

"I'm not afraid of anything, Apples!"

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I shook my head and I realized something. It hit me like a sucker punch to the gut and came out of nowhere like a bar fight. "You just don't like change, don't you?" I asked.

Of course he didn't. I loved change. He absolutely fucking hated it. Anything other than something sexual was not allowed to change an inch. When I dyed my hair red he hated it because it was something out of the ordinary. This wasn't a hairstyle change, this was another thing entering his world that would change things forever. He couldn't walk away from it like he could me or a club groupie. If it wasn't in his control it freaked him out and he just blocked it out, but the baby would always be apart of him. That was the biggest change of all.

"No." he said, rubbing his forehead. "I don't."

"Alright then. So now we have a understanding. Don't need a be a dick about it." I muttered the last part.

"You didn't have to be a bitch either."

I glared daggers at him, and I turned around, cut off the light and went to sleep. I would've went over Anna Mae's house and slept there but last thing I need him to think that this kid wasn't his and I was sleeping with another guy. (Even though I was not!) Needless to say this violated my first rule to never go to bed angry.  


* * *

_Poor Apples and Tig. :[_


	24. Star Tattoo

I got home and put my purse on the couch and placed my feet up on a nearby table. I wiggled my little piggy toes in front of the television and had my thoughts catch up from the last couple days. It was all a blur. Ever since the fight Tig has been incredibly distant. We didn't talk, and we barely made eye contact. He would spend all his time doing who knows what with the club, and the worst part is he didn't even call. I could be dead or whatever and he wouldn't even know or care.

And speak of the devil guess who decided to show up? Tiggy. He walked in through the door and headed back to our room. He looked at me I guessed that because he stopped midway. He walked over to me and said. "I'm going to pick up some guns." He stood there, for about several seconds waiting for my response.

"Okay.." I said, not even looking at him, just at my toes. My freshly painted black toes. I don't know why I chose black. In fact I lied yes I do. It was the day after the fight, and I guess I was kinda sad. Plus to add on top of my lingering depression it's been a week since I gotten laid. I fucking hate it. I thought about it all the time, I felt like I was missing apart of myself. I pretty much had to take a sleeping pill to keep myself from thinking about it. "Have fun." I said after awhile.

"Apples." He said after awhile.

"Yes, Alex?" I asked still staring at my toes. Now especially the small star tattooed on my right big toe. It was my first tattoo, when I was sixteen. It took Mama nearly three years to notice it.

"I'm....sort of sorry for what happened." He said, quickly. Giving me the look that he really didn't want to repeat it.

"Sort of sorry?" I asked, getting slightly angry again. Then I realized for an emotional cripple this was a step towards progress.

"Yep." He said frowning like I was the one who was crazy.

"Okay, I'm sort of sorry too." I said finally looking at him. I pulled him into a kiss and stroked his chin. "So, what's the guns for?" I asked nodded my head towards our bedroom.

"Traveling." He said.

"Where?" I asked.

"Vegas."

"Why?"

"Just to have some fun."

"With the club? There's a charter out in Vegas? And wait what do you mean fun? Better not be with some stupid whore."

"No you're coming too." He said, giving me a firm ass grab and walked to our bedroom. "And wear something nice. Wear that sexy red satin dress that I love on you."

"Why?" I asked, jumping up from the couch and following him. "I got work tomorrow."

"Call out sick." he said giving me a cunning smile.

"What for? Tig, tell me what we're doing." He wouldn't tell me anything. Now my suspicions were up.

* * *

I don't know why I agreed to marry him. I guess I rather have the kid not be dubbed a bastard by the public it was hard to grow up knowing that your parents weren't and would never be married. I was doing this for my kid and ignoring the fact that I wasn't in love. It didn't take much convincing just him saying that he wanted this "done right." I wanted it done right too, but shouldn't we be in love?

Mama, and Papa loved each other a lot. Papa was willing to give up his religion for her (even thought he didn't have to). I don't know if I would do the same for Tig and vice versa. This marriage would be no different than a mafia marriage. Instant protection, instant respect and the power. The real turn on was the power. I wasn't sure if that's what I wanted or I was trying to convince myself to. At least I did care about him and I wasn't marrying someone like Bobby. No offense intended, it's just honesty.

Considering that my life will be on easy street and my child will have his last name. Plus I am very fond of him. So it might work. Maybe I do love him, I just don't know it yet. I'll figure it out.

After putting everything into perspective I looked up at my future husband. Beautiful blue eyes and cute curly locks. His ringed, rough hands touching mine. With a final "I do." and a sweet kiss in front of our witnesses a.k.a Elvis impersonators and a couple who wanted a horror movie theme dressed as Freddy Kruger and a victim slashed to pieces we were married. Apollonia Naranjas-Trager was my new name. I just had to remember to sign it that way.

* * *

_Another chapter down. Once again thank you so much for reviewing everyone. Nothing makes me more happy than to see how much you love my story._


	25. Lumberjack Breakfast

Anna Mae came running at me full force, sending me almost to the ground. She wasn't that much taller than me only about three or so inches but boy she could get some real impact. "Congragulations babe!" She exclaimed.

"On what?" I dared to ask.

"Your marriage! Why didn't you invite me to the weddding or anything. I could've totally been a flower girl." Anna Mae was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"It wasn't that glamourous Mae." I said, tucking some hair behind my ear. "Just a few vows and a bunch of Elvis impersonators and that's it. Wait." I said realizing that I didn't tell her about the wedding. Although I was going to sooner than later I wanted to be the first to tell her. Who beat me to the punch?! "Who told you about that?"

"Clay and the others are holding a party for Tig to celebrate. I'm invited so I heard. How come you didn't invite me chicka?!" She asked stomping her foot. A party with strippers, booze, drugs and how many girls pawing over him, all this for a married man? It seems a little redundant if you ask me.

"Clay and the others know!" I said loud enough to cause a scene but thank God no one was around to hear it. "Are they blowing shit out their asses?" I asked.

"Nope. They're happy." Anna Mae said with a smile. "They're glad that Tig will actually have something to do other than hang around here from now on and the other girls around here you know that."

"Yeah." I said having my suspicions about how sincere it was but I guess it was a paranoid suspicion, but one none the less . "I'm hungry." I replied wanting to quickly change the subject.

"Didn't you eat breakfast?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said remembering how I had to throw that breakfast up into the poop machine. "But that's a goner. So Ruby's Breakfast Buffet?" I asked holding out my hand.

"Are you buying?"

"Are you white?"

"Yes."

"There's your answer." I said pulling her towards the Caddie.

* * *

Now before we continue on with the story here's a history lesson for everyone. Lana Turner one of America's famous movie actresses and a sexy woman at that was discovered drinking a soda by a fountain and because of her good looks, she signed a contract with Hollywood and became America's darling. If only I were that lucky but a similar thing happened to me. Instead of Hollywood discovering me it was Gemma Teller-Morrow and instead of her coming with a contract to make movies she came with her usual drama. Plus I wasn't sipping on a soda, I was scarfing down a lumberjack breakfast.

Just as Anna Mae and I sat down to eat (I had four plates she had only one) Gemma smiled and took a seat with me and Anna Mae.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked. Anna Mae was scared of Gemma and I mean scared fucking stiff but I wasn't. I didn't know why. You should never be scared of a person. If they figure that out then they have some sort of control over you. I nodded and dug into my eggs and seven pancakes while Anna Mae just stared off at the window hoping she would go away.

"What do I owe the honor?" I managed to say with a mouthfull of pancakes. Which were beyond delicious.

"I just wanted to send my blessing to you and your husband."

"Thanks." I said putting some syrup on my eggs and swirling together and shoving it in my mouth. Anna Mae and Gemma both sat back in awe of how I could eat so quickly and still have enough time to finish more. I wasn't worried about gaining weight as much as I was more worried on if it would make my stomach look like a stretched out mess. Well one problem at a time. Gemma raised an eyebrow in suspicion. She put her purse on the table only inches away from Anna Mae.

"I can't help but wonder why so sudden? Out of the blue Tig just decides to up and get married for the next bitch that shows him the slightest bit of attention-."

"I perfer assertive and sophisticated female." I said cutting her off and shoving more food into my mouth. Gemma shook her head. "You've always been a smart ass." I shrugged. "I'm just brutally honest, just like yourself."

"True, I guess." Gemma nodded. "I'm just wondering why the sudden change for him. I'm wondering if you forced him into anything."

"Gem?" I asked.

"Yes?"

I pushed my hair back over my shoulder. "With all do respect I'm wondering how is this really any of _your_ business." She hesitated. Like that was any surprise that I stood up to her. "I know where you're going at. I'm not some gold digging bitch who convinced him to do anything he doesn't want to do. Believe me he's not a easy person to convince of anything."

"Tig is apart of my club he is my business." Gemma said leaning back in her seat even further. As if she was like the Godfather or some shit.

"If memory serves me right Clay wears the President patch not you. I think you would serve more as a consort."

"I don't give a shit who wears the patch. This is my town. I have a right to know."

"So if you have that right to know my intentions and my business then I should ask you about Clay and Jax."

"No you won't."

"And why not?"

"They're mine, not yours."

"Right." I said drinking some orange juice. "So is Tig."

"What would you know about Tig?" she asked, snatching her purse and standing up to look down at me. I nearly broke my neck trying to look at her once again.

"What would you know? Have you been with him?" I asked. Now I was starting to get mad but I kept a straight face and my eye on the prize. I was going to be the dick, not her. The whole point of being a dick was to get the other person mad and not yourself. I had to remain calm no matter what. "What do you do anyway. Beside meddle in my marriage?"

"I'm a wife and mother sweetheart."

"Well I'm a nail technician and Tig's wife. So I think we both better stick to what we know." Gemma was going to hit me harder than she could muster right about now. But she woudn't. If she hurt me Tig would have a fucking fit. (Although he admires her, I'm still his wife and now family.) Gemma turned around to leave, but just before she was nearly out of my sight and off to burden someone else she turned around.

"By the way, welcome to the family." She said as she left. "_Both _of you." Damn she figured me out. Was I that apparant? Oh well. When Gemma was out of sight Anna Mae pumped her fist in the air.

"The coolest thing I have seen since the fire dance scene in Dances with Wolves!" She smiled triumphantly like she actually stood up to her. I bowed slightly and continued with my breakfast. "Oh Mae." I said, with a shake of my head. "You're so weird."

"You have no idea." She said, holding her glass up. "I propose a toast, to...."

"Being a dick!" I laughed. We clinked glasses and drank orange juice.

* * *

_Not much Tig, sorry ladies. I promise next chapter will have him. Thanks so much to kvsgrl for the advice.  
Review please? See I don't ask much. :]_


	26. Peanut Butter

I looked at the clock next to me and it read 1:23 in the morning. I woke up with a sudden urge for watermelons and creamy peanut butter. This wasn't the first time I had such a craving but it was one of the strongest. Usually it was just pizza and whip cream or egg salad with whole pickles. My new favorite was chocolate strawberries and ranch dressing on top. But this was the newest and the strongest. It was only my fourth month and this was only getting worse.

I turned myself slowly around to face Tig, I felt like a turtle and a extreme fat ass at the same time. I shook Tig, who was deep in his sleep."Tiggy?" I whispered.

"Hmm?" he said stirring a bit. "Am I laying on your stomach again?" he asked trying to shift over to the other side of the bed.

I shook my head. "No, you're fine."

"Okay." he said going back to sleep.

"Tig I need a slight favor?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you go get me some watermelons and creamy peanut butter?" I asked sweetly, rubbing his shoulder. He groaned into his pillow and asked. "Can it wait till tomorrow?"

"Tiggy..." I whined. "I need that watermelon right now."

"Whatever." He said getting out of bed and putting on his shirt and boots, and grabbed his keys and walked out the house to get my stuff. Ah, the trouble us pregnant women put our spouses through. After twenty minutes I was still hungry so I walked to the kitchen and ate a whole bowel full of chocolate strawberries. After nearly an hour and a half of waiting for my watermelon and two large container of strawberries later, Tig came back with two big watermelons in his hand.

"It's December." he said his face perplexed with a ton of emotions. It ranged from angry to confusion.

"What?" I asked turning off the tv.

"It's December. It isn't watermelon season." He growled.

"But you got it for me didn't you?" I asked, with the biggest green eyes I could muster and the sweetest voice I could do. He handed me the two watermelons. "Yessss!" I squealed.

"I had to go all the way to Pope to find them. Weird ass town." He mumbled heading back to our bedroom. I could even picture him thinking about how good he was going to sleep after this. I sat there waiting for it the last item. My wonderful, delicious, creamy peanut butter. He turned around and sighed "What?" he asked me.

"Where's the peanut butter?"

"What peanut butter."

"I said I wanted watermelon _and_ peanut butter."

He glared at me, and turned around dragging his feet. His keys wrapped in one hand. "Fuck my life." He muttered under his breath.

"Make sure it's creamy not chunky. I hate chunky."

He stopped and resisted the urge to yell at me but swallowed his anger and kept moving, but I did hear him mutter something about wanting to bitch slap me. I'll let that one go considering that I want my creamy peanut butter untainted.

* * *

_Short one but I promise longer ones next time around. :]_


	27. Seabiscuit

Charlotte Redcorn was one of my newest and move beloved customers. She would come in to get her nails done every month for the last six months. French tips for her long slender fingers and I was the only one that got it right she said. She was a gorgeous woman to be in her mid to late fifties or early sixties. (She never really told me her age). She had a banging body. Something close to Bettie Page from back in the day. You know the women who had curves and were deemed beautiful and not fat. She kept her figure up by doing yoga and working out six days a week. It really did help. I should make a note of that. She had beautiful tanned skin, a soft heart shaped face, and stunning (and I mean stunning) blue eyes. She spoke in a very softly lady like, and never raised her voice or even cursed. I adored that woman.

"So how's the baby?" she asked, nodding at my stomach.

"Oh fine. Healthy as ever."

"Do you know the sex yet." she asked adjusting in her seat, as I finished the last touches on her pinkie nail. I nodded. "No. I get my ultra sound in another week. I've been pushing it back.

"How adorable. I wanted a girl so badly." Charlotte said smiling and looking out the window at the people passing by. "To do her hair, pick out her clothes and worry about her first date and proms and all that." She sighed dreamily. "But I still love my son."

She always mentioned her son, but she never talked about any of the activities they were doing now. This stuck me as strange. Normally a mother would never shut up about how beautiful, talented, and smart their kids were. Whenever she referred to him she always talked about him in the past tense. Such as 'My son liked this.' and 'My son did that'. Maybe they weren't close or they weren't speaking. I don't see why she's the nicest woman I ever met.

"Do you see your son often?" I asked sitting back in my seat. She hesitated and cleared her throat. "No." she said after a bit. "We don't talk anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." she said, shaking off the thought and returning back to her polite smile. She was smiling but her hands were shaking. "So when are you leaving? You shouldn't be breathing in these fumes while you're pregnant."

"I don't know. I want this restaurant so badly. I can't afford to not work anymore."

"Well your baby should come first. Take a break for a bit."

"I'm saving that when the baby is born. Going to have to take maybe three or four months off and hire a sitter afterward when I get it off my boob milk."

"I don't know why women want to get right back to work. When my son was born I didn't work for years."

"Times are different though, Charlotte." I said rubbing my stomach. I could feel it kicking and moving around.

"I know." She said, sighing. "Have you thought any names for him or her?"

"Hmm," I have thought about it but not the furthest extent. "I was thinking something kind of you know...cool."

"Such as?"

"I don't know. Like Conventina or something if it's a girl."

"Huh?" Charlotte said cocking her head to the side. "Did you make that up?"

"No," I said shaking my head. "It's one of the names my dad was thinking of naming me."

"Oh," she laughed. "Your dad the crazy Greek lover, hmm?"

"Oh yes." I nodded. "Or I was going to name it after Audrey Hepburn or Bob Dylan."

"Audrey Hepburn or Bob Dylan?" Charlotte said with a smile. "Weird, but I like that. You and the baby's father married yet."

I nodded. "Yeah, a couple months ago." I said, running my finger down the gold wedding band wrapped around my other finger. I still wanted a diamond engagement ring just for good merit but I wasn't going to complain.

"What's his name again?" she said, checking on her nails and looking back at me. "Tig." I replied. "What kind of name is that?" Charlotte asked. "I remember when people used to name their kids something simple. Like Mary or Charlie." I laughed. "Well that's not his real name. It's really Alex."

She froze and raised one eyebrow. "Really? What's his last name?"

"Tra-." I heard the sound of a motorcycle come around the corner and stop in front of the shop park beside the curb. Tig hopped off, his bike holding a bag of Chinese food. Yay! Snacks! "Hold on." I told Charlotte. I walked over to Tig as he entered the shop.

"White rice, lo mein noodles, broccoli and chicken, and shrimp rice. No MSG." he said handing me the bag. I wrapped my arms around it and gave him a hug and a kiss.

"Yay. Guess what? Anna Mae got me a Slurpee earlier. This is going to be great!" I was literally that excited to eat food. Pregnancy does that to you I guess. That and make you pee like Seabiscuit.

"Well, anything to make you happy." He said with a hint of sarcasm. I hit his shoulder and I turned back around to Charlotte who looked like she had just seen a ghost. She was pale, and her mouth was open in a perfect 'O'. She placed her hand to her chest and said in a weak voice. "Alex?"

He turned around to face her and gave the same look. One of utter shock and confusion. My first thought was oh shit did he hook up with her too?! Then my next thought was maybe they were old friends until he said. "Mom?"

"Oh shit." I said out loud. Actually a lot louder than I had planned. I looked between the two and scratched my head. "Uh.." Wow, Apples that didn't help.

"Baby..." Charlotte said getting up from her seat to look up at him, not giving a single regard to her nails that I worked so hard on. Just saying. Tig gave her the coldest look and walked out the shop. It wasn't a run or a drag, it was just a walk. He acted like nothing ever happened. Charlotte on the other hand was too shocked for words.

"Charlotte?" I asked. She watched him as he walked to his bike, revved it up and drove off. Her eyes were wide and filled with tears. "Charlotte?" I asked again. She sniffed and I touched her shoulder. "Ms. Charlotte are you okay?" She was out of her trance and blinked a couple times. "Hmm?" she said finally turning to me. "Are you okay?" I asked. She pushed back her tears and nodded. "Of course." she said sitting back down and put her nails under the lamp. "Of course I am."

Well if Charlotte was his estranged mother then they sure had the same attitude. That I'm not going to let anyone see my real emotions attitude. "Okay." I said sitting back down. We spent the rest of our time together in silence.

* * *

When I got home Tig was sitting on the couch playing a game of Solitaire on the table, and Guns N' Roses was playing on the stereo in the background. I don't think he was listening to it. "Where have you been?" he asked.

"Anna Mae and I went to get some make up. I got dark purple eyeshadow." I said with a smile. He nodded, and took a sip of his beer. "How long have you been home?" I asked.

"About an hour." he replied.

"Oh." I walked over to him and sat down on the couch next to him. "You okay?" I asked rubbing his shoulder.

"Yep."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nope."

"You can tell me anything, Alex." I said wrapping an arm around him. "You know that right?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to talk about this shit."

"Okay." I said, hiding Charlotte's number back in my purse. She wanted me to contact her in case he wanted to talk to her. I thought it was a good idea. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you hate her so much?"

He looked at me from the corner of his eye. That blue eyed glare. Bring on the anger, Alex. "She left me with that fucking son of a bitch." I nodded. It was understandable. "But she's still your mom. She might have a good reason. Just let her explain-."

"I don't give a shit about what she has to say."

Tig never talked much about his past. I think he just buried it deep inside of him and didn't think about it. Anna Mae said in psychology it's called "repression". I know his father was a drunk and was mean to him and his mother (I think that's obvious) and he left his dads when he was about seventeen. Then joined the Marines but other than that I didn't know. I wish he would tell me more, I mean I tell him everything. I really wanted to know the reason why she left without him. Charlotte doesn't seem like the type of woman to just dump him and move on. I wanted to know why, but Tig (Mr. Grudge Man) doesn't give a shit. Somewhere deep down I think he wants to know, and he still loves her. She's his mom and I've seen pictures of them together when he was younger.

"I think you should at least give her a chance, let her say her side and then decide for yourself if you want to be in her life or not. This is her grandkid, you know-."

"Didn't I just fucking say I didn't want to talk about it?" he barked at me.

"Yeah."

"So, shut the hell up."

I crossed my arms and stormed upstairs. "Fine, be moody. I don't care." I said slamming our bedroom door and locking it. I wasn't mad at him being a little brat about it but I was more mad that he just wasn't going to listen to anyone else. He could be so stubborn, I hated it.

I hated him.

For now.

And maybe tomorrow. We'll see.


	28. Meow

Did I ever mention how much of a thorn Mrs. Puff was in Tig's side? Mrs. Puff loved me and was the best cat there was but to Tig she was pure evil. She threw up a hair ball on his cut once (she never did that again, he threw her out the house for about a month), leaves fur on his clothes, and scratches his arm, and hisses at him all the time. It was Saturday, and my poor Tig had been on the road for almost a week and barely slept a wink. So I let him have a few hours of sleep to catch up. However Mrs. Puff wanted to play with him, or in other words annoy the shit out of him. I was busy attending to my hair and was watching the entire thing in my mirror as I straightened my hair. I needed the entertainment.

Mrs. Puff hopped on the bed and started pawing at the big lump under the blanket. She dug her claws into the blanket and started meowing. I chuckled and continued fixing my hair. Mrs. Puff pranced on top of Tig, digging her claws into the blanket but Tig didn't stir.

She climbed all the way to the top of the big lump and meowed in his ear. Each meow getting louder and louder. Tig finally turned the other direction, making Mrs. Puff fall back. She climbed to the top again and meowed in his ear and pawed at his face.

I think Mrs. Puff got the sense she was being ignored because she hissed in his ear and all he did was push her off the bed. She fell on her feet and jumped back up, and hit him in the back of the head with her clawed paw.

"Ouch!" He yelled, first grabbing the back of his head, then grabbing Mrs. Puff by the scruff of her neck. Mrs. Puff gave him a blank stare like she didn't do anything and he dropped her on the bed. She rolled over on her back and nodded her head towards her stomach.

"Awww, she wants a tummy rub." I said. He glared at me and tried to go back to sleep but Mrs. Puff loud meows wouldn't give him any peace. He finally sat up and rubbed her tummy. She wiggled around in delight and wouldn't let him stop until she eventually got hungry and walked off.

Then poor Tig couldn't get back to sleep.


	29. Sticky Gel

The ultrasound technician squeezed this gel crap on my stomach. It was so damn cold, it felt like someone rubbed extra sticky ice cream on my stomach. I didn't say anything about it but I did squirm a little. She put her "technician tool thing" (as I called it) on my stomach and Tig and I peered into a tv screen that was propped to the side and a little bit above our heads. It all looked like a little blur small lines and what not then I briefly saw a head. At least I thought it was a head or a cute big ass foot. The technician pointed to a round spot on the screen. "There's your baby. That's its head."

"Awww." I squealed. I looked at Tig and he actually smiled back at me. Even though he wouldn't admit it for the world I think he was touched. I mean hello, he was seeing his first born kid.

It was amazing to look at the little creature growing inside of me and realize that you created life. Every month our kid was growing older and stronger. It was hard to believe that I had grown so attached to a murky outline of a baby in a matter of a second. It was nearly amazing. Sure I had loved it before then but when I realized how real this was it made me take a double take. I felt so warm that tears started to burn my eyes.

"Can you believe people start crying about this shit?" Tig asked. Then he turned to me. Salty little tears were falling down my face, ruining my make up. "What?" I asked, noticing his astonishment. "I'm not made of stone, like you Alex."

The technician shook her head and smiled. "Normal heart beat, normal size, and above all normal." she said turning off the machine. "You're doing just fine." I pushed back another set of tears and the technician asked. "Would you like to know the sex of your baby?"

"No." I said immediately but so did Tig only his was the opposite answer. A strong answer of "Yes." He turned to me and shrugged. "Why not?"

"Because I want it to be a surprise. That's what the people back in the day did. You didn't know till the day of. It ruins the suspense." Besides I like it that way, of course Tig couldn't go with the flow he just had to know whether he was going to have his son. I think every guy dreams of that day.

"C'mon babe." Tig whined. "I want to know if it's going to be a boy."

"Then you'll find out the day of."

"Fine." he said, huffing like a spoiled kid. Pretending that he was walking toward the door, he called the technician over. Whatever the technician told him wasn't good because instead of doing back flips and cart wheels and possibly breaking into a Ginger Rodgers step he looked at the technician with total disbelief. He wandered back over, and sat down beside me.

"Well?" I asked. "Judging from the glum look upon your features I guess the verdict wasn't what you planned." He glared at me, and shook his head.

"Shut it, Apples." I'm assuming that was a yes.

"It's a girl isn't it?"

He nodded.

Yes! Thank you God for giving me what I want for a change. It was his fault for making me drink yet again! Thus getting me pregnant.

I kissed his cheek. "Congrats, you're the father of a little girl. Maybe next time around, sport." I said, this statement was ironic, but we didn't know that yet. We walked out and went home. Well I was home and shoved pickles down my throat, he went out riding with the club. It got me sort of depressed. I stayed home, ate, and peeled that sticky gel shit off my stomach and he got to drink, smoke and do whatever he wanted. It wasn't fair. If it were possible I'd have Tig be pregnant at least for a week. He would be such a bitch as a pregnant bitch

"I'm tired Apples!" I imagine him complaining. "I'm hungry! Why are you always away from home?! Why can't you stay here with me?! I hate this shit!"

I actually laughed out loud. That would be amazing. I leaned back and shoved another pickle down my throat.

* * *

_I've never been pregnant, never have been to a ultra sound. I saw a couple of movies with the ultrasound thing in them. So if I didn't get it 100% down, sorry._


	30. Fudge Cake

"Why are you shifting around?" Tig asked, breaking away from It's a Wonderful Life for just a moment. I was so jumpy about what was going to happen in the next couple of minutes, that my nerves had decided to take a detour to the outside of my body. Even though it was a calm Christmas Eve night, it didn't feel calm at all. I put all the decorations up around the house, and I made a special dinner and everything. Of course he was wondering why I made such a big dinner tonight instead of doing it tomorrow, but I figured we were going over to Clay's for awhile the next day so why not get it over with tonight?

I started humming and swaying around again, and tapping my feet. I don't remember what the song was, I think I just made one up. It soothed my nerves for a little bit, at least until I was found out. I think he stared at me for like three minutes until I finally looked at him. I stared at him blankly and smiled. "Yes?" I asked sweetly.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing." I said, still staring at him. "Why?"

"Because you're getting on my goddamn nerves." he said. I frowned and tried to pay attention to the movie. "Why do you like this movie?"

"I don't."

"Then why are you watching it?"

"Because there's nothing else to watch."

"I wanna watch Frostly the Snowman."

"Or how about we watch this." I sighed and tapped my fingers on the arm of the couch. There was no use in arguing with him. I got more luck out of arguing with a brick wall. Tig got so cranky during the holidays. I don't know why. He just did. He didn't even want to have a Christmas tree, but I talked him into it, I always had a Christmas tree, and I couldn't go a year without one. All he did during the holidays was drink till he passed out in a drunken slumber and complain about EVERYTHING. He's important to me, but sometimes he knew just how to push all the wrong buttons on me.

"This food taste weird!"

"I don't like that!"

"Why do we have to go to church! I hate sitting for hours!"

"I don't like The Jackson's 5 version of I Saw Mommy Kissing Fucking Santa Claus!"

Complain. Complain. Complain.

When I sort of got into the plot of the movie I heard the doorbell ring. Tig got up to get it but I pushed him out the way and beat him to the door. "I got it!" I said. Tig muttered something to himself, sat back down and enjoyed his movie. (Sort of). I opened the door and there stood the most beautiful woman ever. Raven haired, red full lips, and a beautiful blue dress, covered only slightly by a black coat that only a real woman with curves could pull off. She was holding a pot of something in one hand and three bags in the other, like she was modeling for some Christmas ad at Macy's. Even if she was in a photograph in a black and white she would still look as gorgeous.

"Hey." I said, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Hello, sweet pea." she said with a wide smile. "You look beautiful, lovely." she complimented. I shook my head. I wasn't wearing make up and I'm sure I was as fat as a whale but I wasn't going to argue with her about it. "Thanks." I nodded. I stepped out of her way and let her in. "Oh what a lovely place you got." she said as I took her coat and hung it up. She walked around in a circle for a bit admiring only the front part of the house. Now instead of Tig facing his mother and my betrayal like a man, he does what any little kid would do. He walked into his room and slammed the door.

Oh yes, he was angry. I smiled sweetly and extended my hand out toward the living room. "Make yourself at home. Excuse me." The smile that had once graced Charlottes face has slowly dissappeared like it never even existed. She looked so sad, it was almost heart breaking. She nodded and sat down on the couch holding the pot in her lap and putting the bags on the floor. I really did feel sorry for her. Her high hopes of actually making a difference and a change in the life of her son had been dramatically altered for now.

I made my way up the stairs and walked to our bedroom. What first caught my attention was the striking smell of cigarette smoke. He was smoking in the house and I was pregnant! Once again Alexander you've shown your intelligence just like The Three Stooges in Jeopardy. I opened the door and there he was pouting, drinking his beer and smoking a cigarette. I folded my arms. "What did we say about smoking in the house?" I asked, tapping my foot, trying to contain my anger. He shrugged at me. I stomped over and snatched the cigarette out of his mouth and put it out on the floor.

"What the fuck, Apples!" he exclaimed, standing up. He was a giant, damn did he grow or did I shrink? "My goddamn carpet!"

"We all have to sacrafice something in this relationship don't we? I can't drink or smoke and you have to watch your precious carpet get burned!"

"What's your fucking problem, bringing my mom here. What the hell are you trying to pull?"

"She asked if she could come! What was I suppose to say no?" He opened his mouth to say something. "And don't you agree with me!" I sighed and pushed some hair out of my face. "Tig, I made a nice dinner. A very nice dinner for you and your mother. So what you're just going to sit here until she's gone? And if you say yes I swear, your carpet won't be the only one whose burned."

He ignored me and turned on the TV, back to It's a Wonderful Life. I stomped my foot. "Fine, be that way. Just break my heart like that." He didn't acknowledge me, he just stared at that damn TV. "Fine, I didn't realize that was more important." I said turning on my heel and walking out the room. Tig didn't even notice me leaving. I had enough, and the pregnancy was altering my temper. I slammed the bedroom door open and said in a eerily dark voice. "This is the part where my dear husband and father of my child turns off the tv, tells me to come back and he'll go down to the dinner. Now you either man up, turn off the tv and take care of your business or I'm going to hurl it out the window." He rolled his eyes, turned off the tv and said. "Alright I'll do it."

"Thank you, I'm touched." I said walking out the room, and him following behind me.

When we got downstairs Charlotte looked behind her and immediately stood up. Her hands were clasped together, and she tried hard to contain her composure. What a lady. She took one step toward him, but hesitated and took another step back. He just stood there like she was another person he never met before, waiting to be introduced.

"Hey." Charlotte said after awhile.

"Hey." Tig said. They stood there for another few awkward minutes (or what seemed like it) until Tig finally said. "So, you still have Snowball?"

"Snowball? The same cat we had twenty years ago?" Charlotte asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Fine you start the conversation." Tig replied, folding his arms. Charlotte bit her lip and thought. "Uh, well.. How have you been?"

"Good. You?"

"Good."

Okay this was awkward. Here was my turn to intervene. "So who wants dinner?" I asked.

* * *

Dinner was extremely awkward. None of them talked to the other and if they did they were talking to me. Even when I tried to include one of them with a thought they would answer with a short one word sentence. The only good thing that came out of that dinner was Charlotte's cream corn. Purely amazing! We got to the last course and that was the desert. Besides telling me that I make a mean fudge chocolate cake, the talk was pretty much zero to none.

"The cake is very moist." Charlotte said after a bit. There was a few moments of silence then Tig finally replied. "Yeah it is very...moist." I took a sip from my ice tea and I nodded. "The tea is moist too." They both looked at me, and I shrugged. "What, I can't be uncomfortable too?" They turned back to their cake. Finally I think Tig had enough of the small talk. He dropped his fork and looked at her dead in her blue eyes. "Alright, mom what are you really here for? Money? What?"

She wiped her mouth, like a lady and shook her head. "No. I don't want your money, dear."

"Then what the hell do you want?"

"Nothing." she said shaking her head once again. "I only wanted to see you."

"After all these years you decide to show up? Why not ten years ago, or maybe you should've kept your ass with me the whole goddamn time!" I looked between the two. Tig was shaking with anger and Charlotte looked absolutely calm. At least she was putting up a good front. "Baby, I wanted to explain it to you if you would give me a chance-."

"Fuck that shit." he said getting up from the table. I think Charlotte went into Mom-mode because she got up and stormed out of the room and followed him. It wasn't going to be pretty and I didn't want to miss it. I zoomed right in there and went to watch the slaughter. "Alexander James Trager you sit right back down and listen to me!" she said. The voice that never went up or down an octave had gone. Tig turned around. "Man, what the fuck ever. I'm not a goddamn kid anymore, you-."

"I said SIT!" Charlotte exclaimed, pointing to the floor. Maybe it was a reflex or maybe seeing Charlotte actually angry was enough to get him to sit but he sat down pretty quickly I might add. He looked at me and said. "It's only because I _want_ to sit down."

Charlotte calmed herself down and said. "The only reason why I left was because your father was getting crazier and crazier on me. He was angry because he found out about Jack-."

"Jack?"

"Jack Redcorn."

"That Indian guy?" Tig asked with one eyebrow raised. Charlotte nodded. "I know that I hurt you baby, but I thought I was doing the right thing. You are a free spirit." She started, sitting on the couch next to him. "The reservation wouldn't allow you to grow and become the man you are today. I wanted to take you with me, but you would never be happy either way. I was doing what I thought was best. A year or so later I realized it was a mistake but when I came back to get you, your father told me that you didn't want to see me. It broke my heart. I know I should've been more insistent, love. I'm so sorry."

"That's tough shit." he growled, his fist balled up. "You didn't give me a goddamn chance! How did you know I wouldn't make it? I was thirteen I could've adapted. Instead you leave me with that goddamn asshole."

"I know baby." Charlotte said tears in her eyes. "You just don't understand. I thought I was doing what was in your best interest."

"Oh fuck that." Tig said, getting up from the couch. "You're a fucking coward. You were tired of Harry and you were tired of me, and you wanted to be with that tree hugging Chief-." Charlotte stood up and got toe to toe with him. "Do not insult Jack because of this. He's not involved!"

"Do you have other kids now? Little Pochahontas and Sitting Bull or something-."

"No! We don't! Alexander, if you insult him one more time-."

"I don't give a shit about him! What the hell are you going to do walk out again and take the cat?" Mrs. Puff must've overheard the conversation because she bolted up the stairs, and meowed.

"No one asked you to, I just want you to listen! I'm not asking for you to forgive me or even fucking understand! I only wanted to apologize for hurting you! I know what I did was wrong!" Charlotte had tears falling down her eyes. She wiped them away carefully trying not to ruin her make up. "I love you baby. I know I was suppose to be there for you. I want us to start over." She sniffled. The true Charlotte was breaking through. "Baby, I don't want you to hold a grudge againist me, but I especially don't want you to hate me." I think she broke her composure, because she sat back down on the couch with her shaking hand covering her face. She was crying. Tig stood there coldly the Marine in him was standing, until I saw him run his fingers through her hair. He didn't hug her, just stroked her hair.

I finally broke away from the deer in the headlights pose and walked to the other side of the living room and took the ultrasound picture from it's placed weged between the cracks of another picture of my mother and my brother posing together cheek to cheek. I handed the picture to Charlotte. She looked up at me, with red, blue eyes. She looked at the picture and took it.

"Is that the baby?" she cried covering her mouth.

"Mhm." I nodded. "It's a girl."

"She looks so beautiful."

"Well," I said, trying to lighten the mood. "As pretty as a fuzzy looking sea monkey thing can be." Charlotte smiled and stroked the picture a bit. "Oh right." she said wiping away her tears and handing me the two bags. "I bought some things for the kid. I picked neutral colors, since I didn't know what you were having."

"Oh Charlotte, you didn't have to get all this for us." I said, but Tig shot me a don't-make-her-change-her-mind look. Charlotte smiled and wiped the stained tears from her face. "I wanted to." She reached into the third bag and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. Ah, she knew what to get Tig for Christmas. A mother knows her son I suppose, even from afar. "I got you some liquid courage." She said handing it to Tig.

The emotionally crippled Tig doesn't know how to take a gift. I guess when he was growing up he wasn't used to people doing or saying nice things to him. Because he took the bottle and just looked at it. I punched him hard in the arm and his head shot up in my direction.

"Ow." he said.

"What do you say?" I told him. He looked at me like he was confused and then he suddenly remembered. "Oh yeah thanks." he said.

Charlotte nodded. "I didn't want anything. You shouldn't get me anything."

"Good because we didn't-." Tig muttered and I punched him hard in the arm yet again. "Ouch, woman!" I crossed my arms. "I'll backhand the shit out of you." I think that sounded a lot better in his head, but then again Tig was never one to censor himself.

"And if you touch me with that hand, you're not getting it back." I said, walking to the stair case and coming out with a large wrapped present. "No." Charlotte said shaking her hand that was outstretched in front of me. "I'm not going to accept it. I don't want anything."

"Oh hush." I said handing it to her.

"Well I'm not opening it here." Charlotte said folding her arms. There was no use in arguing with her. "Alright, fine you don't have to." I said, placing it in her lap. Charlotte nodded, happy at her little victory.

I wrapped my arms around both Tig and Charlotte and kissed them both of the cheek. "Merry Christmas." I smiled.


	31. Egg Salad Stain

Tig and I were shopping in a nearby hardware store looking for some paint we could paint the babies room with. I was getting those awful stares. The younger girls were jealous, while the older ladies took a awful hatred towards me. Here I was another knocked up biker whore, hanging on the arm of a handsome, powerful man and they hated me for it. Whatever. The only thing that got me was this chick who was giving me the most evil glare I had ever gotten. Like she really wanted to fight me so badly, and if I wasn't pregnant I would have.

"Hey Tig." I said picking up a purple color. "That girl is giving me the evil eye." He didn't look at her or me, he just stared at the colors. "I don't think she is. I don't want my kid to be in a yellow room. It's obnoxious." he said putting the yellow colored tab back distastefully.

"Try the plum color, I think you would like it." I said He looked at it. "It's not bad." I looked over my shoulder and there she was still staring at me. She was behind the service desk staring at me. She had long red hair that was tied up in a messy bun and bright silver eyes that were glued to me. "Tig." I whispered like she could actually hear that far. "Look at the chick whose behind us."

He exhaled sharply and looked over his shoulder. "The fat chick with the limp?" he asked. "No." I said not bothering to turn around. "To the right." He looked over his shoulder again. "The black woman with four kids?"

"No! A little more to the left."

"Some Mexican woman?"

"Straight ahead."

"I don't see anyone." he said shrugging. I got frustrated and grabbed him by the cheek and pushed his face in the direction of the evil bitch. "There!" I yelled.

"Oh." He said, then his eyes widen. "Oh shit."

"What?" I asked. She got up from the service desk and made her way towards us. Her heels click, clacked on the floor like a professional but she could barely walk in those heels. "Shit." he said, grabbing a bunch of sample cards for the paint and threw them in a bag and grabbed my arm and pulled me along. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"She's following us." I said, staring straight at her. She looked pissed off, at me to be specific. But what did I do to that bitch, that got her panties in a bundle?

"I know, don't look at her."

"But, Tig-."

"We'll talk about this shit later." he said pulling me harder when he realized she was almost at my heels. "Excuse me sir." she said sternly, stopping suddenly. He stopped instinctively and turned around. "Uh, excuse me?" he asked trying to act like he wasn't doing anything wrong.

"What did you shove in that bag?"

"Uh, just some sample shit." he said, letting go of my arm. The red headed woman nodded. Even though she tried to act professional she really wasn't at all. She looked like poor white trash. Messy hair, stench of cigarettes, bright ass neon green nail polish, and a shirt and pants that looked like they were from the thrift store. Her right leg had a white stain on it, maybe it was egg salad or maybe it was a "after sex present". I don't know but it was a pretty big stain. "Can I see?" she asked, holding out her neon green nails. Jesus, they were obnoxious. Tig held out the bag and dropped it in her hand. She looked through it and handed it back to him. "Okay, you're clear."

"Whatever." he said snatching his bag back. "Thanks, Carnegie."

CARNEGIE?! Please tell me he saw her name tag. I think he realized he spilled the beans because he looked at me like 'oh shit'. "Uh, Apples go wait in the car okay?" he said. I didn't argue I just glared at the bitch known as Carnegie. Stupid name anyway.

"No." I said, giving her the evil eye back. "Tig, who is this?"

Carnegie glared at me, then gave a smug look to Tig. "So why all the colors, Alex?" she asked.

"No reason." Tig said trying to pull me towards the exit. I think he wanted to beat her, like a hooker. He looked pissed and was fighting the urge pretty hard.

"Making room for another one." she said pointing to my stomach. I snatched my hand back from Tig's grip. "Yeah, why is it any of your concern?"

"Oh I'm surprised he hasn't told you."

"Told me what?"

Carnegie shook her head, and walked closer to Tig. She was swaying her hips, trying to be sultry but in the end she just looked like a cheap slut. "I'm surprised you didn't tell her, dear." I shoved myself between them, and of course my anger got the best of me. "Listen up, white trash." I said it! Yes I did! "Whatever 'thing' you used to have has ended, and now he's hitting this!" I said pointing to me. "So whatever bullshit slutty thing you can do to win him back isn't going to work because he doesn't want you right, Tig?"

"Fuck yeah."

"Exactly! So if you keep pressing the issue nothing in this goddamn world will keep me from fucking destroying you! Don't let the pregnant belly fool you!"

"Psh." Carnegie said, pushing a strand of stringy hair out of her face and walking backwards. "Don't make me call security on both of you." She turned around and made her way back to her desk. We turned around and went back to the car. I was so mad I was marching like a soldier heading off to battle. Until I realize this was a bad idea considering the extra weight I have to carry. So I had to stop and took a few minutes to catch my breath. "So who was that?" I asked as we got towards the car.

He didn't say anything at first, he just got in the car, waited for me to hop my pregnant ass in there and started it up. "I'll tell you later." he said. I shook my head and put the seat across my belly. "Tell me now. I'm not doing anything important."

"Okay." he said back out of the parking space. "She's my old fuck buddy, and my ex wife."

"Well with the many broads that you've been with, it was bound to happen-. Wait." I said realizing exactly what he said. Ex wife? As in he was married before?! I exhaled a shaky breath and raised a eyebrow. "What do you mean ex wife?"

"I was nineteen." he said, not looking at me just staring down the busy street. "I was piss ass drunk and apparently I got married to her. She didn't mean anything to me. She was just there."

"She was just there?"

"Yeah," he started. "Don't worry I got it annulled, three weeks later."

"Three weeks?" I said, rubbing my hand over my belly. "If she didn't mean anything to you then why didn't you annul it right away. Why wait for three weeks."

"Because, she told me three weeks later."

I huffed and folded my arms and stared out the window. The blurs of trees, houses and people seem to come together and become a blurry mess of one, by the burning salty tears that came from my eyes. I don't know why I was so upset. It was probably the hormones. Come to think of it, it _was_ the hormones. He away from the road to look at me and asked. "Why are you crying?"

"When were you planning on telling me this?"

He thought for a second. "Hmm, I don't know." he said, then added. "I didn't think it was important."

"How did you not think it was important?"

"I don't know. I was a kid. Kids do stupid things, and mine was marrying that whore. I got it annulled so it doesn't matter. Why did you even care about this shit?"

"You should've told me you were married to that whore, before we got married so this shit would be such a shock!" I yelled before starting to cry again. Jesus Christ, I was a basket case. "Why the hell are you crying?" he asked, pretty calmly. I think he was starting to get used to my psychotic moments.

"You know what!" I yelled. "I don't even fucking know!" I cried into my hands and after awhile I think my hormones gave off and I wiped my ass and whimpered a little.

"C'mon don't cry Apples." he said running his hands through my black hair. "You want a cherry Slurpee?" Before he could finish the sentence my sadness was gone. "Yes!" I said the tears gone and a smile taking over my whole face. "I need my fix!"

Wow it really doesn't take much to make me happy. I didn't forgive him for not telling me, but I guess all in all it really didn't matter. I still hate that bitch though, and I'm going to give him a good kick in the ass for that later.


	32. Princess Peach

As everyone knows, Tigis mostly known for his rampant libido and most especially his conquests around the clubhouse. He didn't remember what they were like, if they had a amazing personality, if they were pretty or whatever they all just seemed to blur together after awhile. But I think I know one person who could top that. Me! Well no I haven't slept around with most of the men in Charming but my hormones were racing like crazy. Especially during the 6th month of my pregnancy. I wanted it all the time, and if I wasn't having it I was thinking about it. I would even dream about it. Sometimes I think I was moaning out loud. That was one awkward side of being pregnant. I felt like a teenager again. Thinking of sex and wanting it so badly, but you could never talk about it, and having everyone know you did it was just embarrassing. Everyone goes through it and nearly everyone has done it by the time they turn twenty.

Tig "borrowed" a beautiful, purple '67 Camaro from the shop. It was some random dick dude who wanted his engine checked. He shouldn't have back sassed my Tig because he decided to take me out for a spin in it. I don't know why Clay condones Tig's out of control behavior, but I get to drive around in a beautiful car so whose complaining? Not this chick. Anyway as we were driving I felt that strong urge come back again. I ran a few stray fingers down his side and whispered into his ear. "C'mon let me give you a quick hand job."

"You can't wait till we pull over?" he asked, not that he was complaining. I shook my head. "Nope." He smiled mischievouslyand unbuckled his pants and whipped it out. I kept my eyes forward as I played with him. He leaned back and tried his hardest to keep his eyes on the road but he knew I was just too good at giving handies for him to even focus on the road. The good thingto do was to pull over and pray none of the Pigs decided to look in, but nope he just kept on driving. Not that I blamed him. It made it all the more amazing.

"Come on, you can do it a little faster." he said, trying to keep his eyes on the road and focused but he couldn't. He ran through three stop signs and one red light and one car almost hit us. "Whoops." he said with no emotion as he zoomed past the car. "Maybe I should stop." I said after we narrowly avoided a piece of shit, Ford Focus. "You better not." he said, looking down slightly to make sure that I wasn't going to stop. Tig was half way there, I could tell because he was pressing on the gas even harder and got that look in his eye. It was relaxing to me as well. I just leaned back and enjoyed until I saw the bumper of a police car coming closer and closer and we weren't stopping. Now I don't think Tig was paying attention to road, because he seemed to be enjoying his play time way too much.

"Alex!" I screamed pointing to the police car. You know how they say that your life flashes before your very eyes when something like this happens. Well mine didn't. All I thought about was I'm not going to be able to screw around anymore if I'm dead. Unless someone has sex with my dead body but that's just weird.

"Shit." He exclaimed slamming on the breaks. We moved slower and slower but it wasn't enough to stop us from hitting that goddamn car. It wasn't a large crash, more or less like a bump. "Shit!" Tig said, buckling his pants back up quicker than ever. "I was fucking half way done." he muttered as we pulled over to the side of the road following the police car. The cop got out of car and walked up to our car. The cop reminded me of Mario. The video game character. He had the same bushy mustache and a bit of the same accent. As he peaked into our car I imagined him jumping on mushrooms and hitting goombahs. I wonder if his wife looked like Princess Peach.

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" He looked at Tig's cut that was on his back and the couple hundreds that were in the palm of Tig's hand. We were in Pope, not too far from Charming but SAMCRO was still highly respected in that area. Tig held out the money. "Sorry about that. Wasn't watching where I was going." He said this with a confident smile. Or maybe it was a pissed off smile. He was half way done and I'm sure it felt like he had to piss a crap load now. 'Mario' nodded and took the money. "Don't worry." he said. "We all make mistakes. Just don't let it happen again." We nodded and waited for the cop to get back to his car.

"Yes sir." Tig said. He watched the cop carefully, and waited for him to drive off. "Good Pig." he spat.

"How godly was that?" I asked, leaning back in my seat. He didn't say anything just unbuckled his pants back and forced my hand back on him. "Hurry up and finish."

"Not too eager I see." I commented and finishing what we started. This time we won't be caught by Mario. It kinda makes you wonder if he has a brother that looks like Luigi.

* * *

_Hmm, there's is only three more chapters till Apples gives birth, and I plan for that to be a big one. (Hopefully). In the mean time do me a favor and review._


	33. Free Willy

"So do you want your Mike & Ikes?" Juice asked me, holding out his hand. He was such a baby sometimes. Like a little kid. I nodded my head. "I just got them, hun." I said pulling the box of Mike & Ikes closer to me, to keep him from snatching them. "Yeah but do you want it?"

"Yes I do." I said rolling my eyes and looking over his shoulder hoping that Tig would come in soon. I need someone to help pick my pregnant ass up from out of this chair. The hair on the back of my neck was starting to itch. I hadn't brushed my hair in literally three days, and it still looked fine just curly, I pulled up into a messy bun this morning. It wasn't one of my most fantastic looking days. Ever since I gained 15 pounds I couldn't get the energy to brush my hair or put on a dab of make up. I scratched the itchy part of my neck and looked back up at Juice, who still wanted some Mike & Ikes.

"All of them?" he asked, giving me that puppy dog pout he tried to do in order to sway me. I nodded my head. "Yes, Juice. All of them."

"Damn." he said dragging his feet to the other side of the room. Honestly I felt sorry for him. The other guys were so much harder on him than any of the others. Especially Tig. He hated Juice. He thought he was a damn idiot. He kinda was, but that still didn't give them the right to treat him like crap. Poor thing. "Hey Juice, dear?" I said. He turned around, still had that said pathetic Mike & Ike-less expression on his face. Something like what poor kids have when they walk out of a candy store empty handed. "Yeah, Apples?" he asked in his best pouty voice. I said it was his best, that doesn't mean it was a good one.

"I'll let you have three okay?" I said. That was being kind. I was only going to give him one at first. Before I could half way get the sentence out he zoomed back over to me and held out his hand like a little kid. I gave him three and he nodded at me and smiled. "Thanks Apples." he shoved them in his mouth and walked away. "That was nice." I heard Anna Mae said taking a gulp from her beer. "No one is really nice to him you know? It's sort of sad." I wonder why.

I shrugged. "Well I'm glad to be the minority in this one." Anna Mae nodded then looked out the window. "Uh oh here comes trouble." she said. I followed the direction of where she was looking. Five skinny, skanky, looking girls entered through the door of the clubhouse. All of them had a ton of make up, perfect hair, super tight clothes and a chance of a slight case of herpes. Some had their hair straight while one had her hair teased out. Hey Lita Ford the 80's is done, and over with. You can stop putting six tons of hair spray on your noggin. It makes you look like you got a mop on your head.

They all gave me the dirty stare. One of them even made a joke that I probably was there to get money from my "baby's father". Yeah, you only wish bitch. I was so tempted to go over and beat the shit out of them but I couldn't get my fat ass out of the chair. The little girl inside of me weighed a ton. Even though they were bitches, I couldn't help but be jealous of them. They could drink, smoke, have sex in any position they wanted, they could wear the short skirts, and the tight shirts without getting those awkward stares. I've been wearing random t shirts and those weird pants that stretch out and I hate them. It's not sexy, and I felt fat. They had the energy to put on make up and brush their hair. It was hard to look good 100% of the time when you look like you're 200 pounds. I hated to complain but it was hard to ignore. Plus my face was fat and round. I wanted to scream how much this sucked, but I was too lazy. I never took pride in my looks.... okay yeah I did. In fact I always did. I thought I was hot shit until I became like this.

"Hey you, okay babe?" Anna Mae asked walking towards me with a glass of water. "Yeah." I lied taking my water and sipping it. "Don't be upset, love." Anna Mae replied. "They're sweet butts. In other words whores!" she said loud enough. She was talking about herself to but I understand what she meant by that. "Pretty much, free prostitutes. You're beautiful babe." she said touching my cheek. "You've got a man. They don't."

"Yeah but they aren't 300 pounds. Maybe this was a mistake." I said, trying to push back my tears. Anna Mae shook her head. "Kinda too late for that." she said. "It's not a mistake. Right now you're just emotional and it's confusing. But it's always darkest before the dawn. And you're going to get this beautiful gift from Jesus. Just you wait."

I felt a little better. Until I saw the other men coming back into the clubhouse and behind the pack leader Clay was Tig. The whore's gave a flirty little wave and the other guys checked them out and smiled. Of course so did Tig. Then I realized I didn't want to wait, I just wanted to be skinny and beautiful again. I didn't want this kid if it meant losing my best friend. Why didn't I just suck it up and get rid of it? No, I didn't mean that, but it was hard to look like Free Willy and realize how quickly you could lose your man.

* * *

I put a streak of plum paint down next to the lavender color. There were three shades against a white wall. Plum, lavender and periwinkle. I can't believe they would call a color periwinkle. How extremely gay could that be? No offense meant, but periwinkle? Why not light purple? I put my hand to my chin and stroked my imaginary beard. Tig had his arms folded across his chest and he looked at the three colors. Even though it had been nearly 24 hours since I ran into those whores, I was still sort of sad. I didn't say much to him, and I barely even touched my dinner or breakfast. Not that it would affect my weight but I guess I just couldn't stomach food at that time.

"Which one do you like better? I asked him. He cocked his head to the side.

"I hate the periwinkle color." he stated, shaking his head distastefully.

"I think it's nice. Charlotte liked it a lot." I said, trying to imagine the lavender all around the room. Tig shrugged. "I still don't like it." Well I think we can all agree on that one, darling.

"Well it's cute for a small room but not for the baby. What about lavender?"

"It's okay. I like the plum color better."

"It's a dark color. You don't want it too dark." Then people will claim that we're raising a future devil worshipper. The room is dark that obviously means the kid is going to be dark in the mind. Says 'educated' experts on the baby mind.

"I don't think the baby really cares about what color the room is." Tig said, cocking his head to the other direction now.

"I like the lavender shade. It's really cute."

"You know, that's the most you said in the last day." Tig commented turning back to me. "You feeling okay?" Rhetorical question, Trager!

"Yeah, I guess... well no not really." I said. I didn't want to talk about right now. Especially since Juice (who was actually going to paint the room) was right outside waiting for permission to come inside. Why did we hire Juice? Because slave labor is well, free. "The plum would be cool in the closet."

"Maybe." he said. "So tell me what's wrong." Damn. He knows my tricks. He's almost getting up to my Mama's knowledge in my tricks to avoid talking.

"No. Not now."

"Yeah now."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Fine. Don't tell me." Tig said, using reverse psychology on me. However he was horribly mistaken, because I have a almost psychology professor for a best friend. I am almost a master at reverse psychology.

"Fine." I said, folding my arms.

"Fine."

"Fine." He eneded. It was so annoying sometimes. He always wanted to have the last word. We both stared at the wall in silence. I tapped my foot and sighed. "Well can't let the plum go to waste. Tell Juice to paint the closet plum." Tig nodded. "Juice! Get your ass in here!" Juice sccurried himself in the room. I pointed to the lavender color. "We want the whole room this color." I pointed to the plum. "But you can paint the inside of the closets plum, okay?" Juice nodded and I walked out the room, Tig following behind. "Better be, nice and even. No bubbles or nothing." Tig muttered like a grumpy old man, folding his arms.

I walked back into our bedroom that was only a few feet from the baby's room and stared at myself in the mirror. I poked at my cheeks, checked out my butt, and finally my stomach. "I'm huge." I said outloud.

"You're not fat."Tig said, "You're pregnant. There's a huge difference."

"Really?" I asked, turning around to face him. "Not fat at all?" he asked.

"Nope." he said shaking his head. "You kinda like a rollie pollie though." What the fuck?! "It's cute though." he said. My mouth was hanging open like a retarded idiot. "Excuse me?" I asked. I think he must've not gotten the hint that he's in deep butt pudding. "You look like a rollie pollie-."

"I heard what you said, Alexander!" I exclaimed. "But why a rollie pollie."

"Because you're round and short?" he said, coming to terms of what he just did. "Apples, c'mon I was kidding. I thought it was cute."

"I'm not short!" I exclaimed. Of course we all know that was a lie., because I can look at eye level with little children. A eight year old is taller than me, now that's scary. He blinked blankly at me. "Apples, you're barely five feet how are you not short?"

"I'm not!" Liar, liar pants on fire.

"Five feet compared to the rest of society." he said. "And you're not short?" He put a hand to his forehead and shook his head. "So wait, you're more mad that I called you short than round?"

"I guess so." I said folding my arms. "I'm not short." I kept saying it, so maybe it would come true. Maybe one day I would wake up several inches taller than the night before. If only there was a miracle like that.

"Then what are you?"

"Fun sized." I said being absolutely serious. "I'm not a rollie pollie!"

"Whatever, makes your day." he said raising his hands above his head. "I cannot wait till you have this kid. It's really trying on my nerves."

"Your nerves?!" I questioned. "Your nerves? Do you have to walk around like a planet all day? Do you have to have old ladies come up and touch your belly? Do you have to have your boobs swell up to the size of melons, wake up with a back ache, have to sleep on your side, eat a buffet for every meal, have to worry whether you're eating the right food, worrying about how your kid is going to look if you take a hot bath, worry if the doctor who is delivering your baby a citizen of this country, can't drink a beer because you're too worried of what it'll do to your kid, can't even take a simple smoke break because your kid is going to get lung cancer or asthma, worry-." Tig placed his hand over my mouth, and said in a very calm voice. "I get it. I'm sorry, okay?" I nodded and he let go of my mouth.

He fell back on our bed and muttered something incohearant and closed his eyes. I know he will be overjoyed when the baby came along. I think I was an emotional wreck. Either really happy and manic, or I was really upset about something. Which usually led to yelling and tears.

Then suddenly I felt a sharp pressure at my side. I placed my hand over the spot. The little thing was kicking. "Come over here." I told Tig. He did, and I placed his hand over where the baby was kicking. "She kicks all the time." I started. "But she really kicks hard when she hears your voice." I said smiling. "Even when you're in the room she can sense you." He smiled a bit, and touched the spot where the baby was kicking and I leaned on his shoulder. Would he do this for the other sweet butts? Nope. Only me. So maybe it's okay to be as big whale for now at least. Only two more months to go.

* * *

_It's not perfect but it's as good as it's going to get. :/ Oh well... Review?_


	34. Iggy Stardust

"This is going to be so incredibly boring!" I complained as we waited in line to get to the Valentines Day buffet. Tig and I never did anything special for Valentines Day unlike other couples. Some couples took off work so they can get all dressed up, have boring conversations, eat fancy well done food that they can barely see, put their roses in a vase so they can stare at it for the next few days until it welts, make love, pass out and call your friends the next day to tell them all about it. Yeah, no thanks not for me. I rather sit at home and just screw around. It was just another day to me, don't know why it's devoted to love. Who cares? Shouldn't everyday be like that instead of one fucking day? I know last Valentines Day all Tig and I did was watch rented movies and have sex. Which was fine with me. I did get a nice bundle of roses. That's all I wanted. Now we had to go to this Valentines Day buffet. Why you may ask? Because if you got these heart shaped pancakes, and a glass of water your meal was free. Tig could be so cheap sometimes.

"Stop complaining." Tig snapped. He didn't feel like waiting in a long ass line to get inside, Plus I knew he was so hungry and whenever he got hungry he got really cranky. Ask any of the club members. You don't talk to Tig until he's had his morning coffee and breakfast. We were in between a old guy who kept talking about his prostate problems and a old Jewish woman behind us who wore too much perfume. So both of our temperaments were very low. It was quite the day. I leaned on Tig, and pushed my sunglasses up and passed the time by counting how many people were wearing short sleeves, shorts, sandals etc. in February. There were about five people walking around without jackets, seven people wearing shortsleeves, and only two people wearing sandals.

As anyone could obviously tell the time ticked by so damn slowly. The only thing I did gain from standing here was a greater knowledge about the prostate. Made me wonder if Tig had the same issues. How is that old guy still living with that many prostate issues? It makes you wonder what these old people drink to keep themselves alive everyday.

Before things could get any worse Herr Darby decided to show up. Who gave him permission to walk the streets of Charming. Tig glared at him and pulled my away from the curb to avoid getting hit. Darby was surrounded by some extreme muscle. One man was taller than him and had to be over 300 pounds. He was so tall his bald head was reflecting light in my eyes. Good thing I was wearing sunglasses. I would hate to be blind, while trying to talk to him. Now I know how Ray Charles felt. The other was a tad bit shorter just as bald, and wore a muscle shirt to show off several Aryan tattoos. He scared me the most. He had the cold heartless eyes, that held no remorse or mercy. Darby looked Tig up and down and muttered something loud enough for us to hear. "And the race traitor breeds." he said looking at my belly.

"Excuse me?" I said. Once again I opened my mouth without thinking. When will I ever learn? I was the witness of it last time. I would hate to be the victim, especially seeing him fight. Wouldn't want to get his soup smelling hands on me.

"You talking to me?" Darby asked turning around, with his hands on his hips. Tweedledum and Tweedledee turned around with him and crossed their arms. They looked so angry it was almost scary. I felt safer in jail right about now. "Yeah." I said staring at the twins of fury. "You have anything to say, say it to us." I snapped, going into the Brooklyn/Spanish accent.

Tig pulled me back and covered my mouth with his hands nearly knocking my sunglasses off my nose. "Your old lady doesn't learn, huh?" Darby asked walking his ass over to Tig.

"Get the hell away out of here Darby. We don't need this shit now. So keep your Aryan ass moving down that street, alright?"

"Or what?" Darby snapped, standing his ground. "You're going to kick my ass in front of all these people?" Darby asked pointing to the crowd. I know half of these people probably hate him more than the Sons. Especially that Jewish woman in the back of us who wouldn't even look at him. "No," Tig said shaking his head. "I'm going to rub some dirt in your skin and you can suck my dick."

"Now there's no need for threats, Trager. We're just passing by like good clean citizens. We have just as much right to walk the streets as you do." The shorter one (a.k.a Tweedledum) kept glaring at me. He seemed especially pissed at me, but what I do. I couldn't just let him disrespect me, like that. I pulled Tig's hand away from my mouth then motioned for them. "If you're just passing by then go on sweetie. Keep moving. Go on." Darby glared at me and started to walk away but the fury twins weren't moving. "Take Alvin and the Chipmunks with you!" I called back to Darby. They eventually soon followed but I couldn't help but get freaked out when Tweedledum stared at me. He was glaring so hard that it caused me to hide behind Tig a bit.

"He's freaky." I said to Tig, fixing my sunglasses, and wrapping my arm around Tig's waist.

"Maybe because you called him a chipmunk." Tig said, holding my hand. I kept looking over my shoulder like Tweedledum was going to pop out of nowhere and surprise me. It just wasn't safe for me. After awhile, of being paranoid I finally gave up with trying to be brave, and pulled on Tig's arm. "Can we just go?" I asked, looking over my shoulder

"Why?" he asked frowning. "Yeah well, it's taking forever and I'm really hungry. I just rather pay for something now than have to wait a decade for it and get it for free." I think he understood because he didn't push me anymore. He nodded and we walked off the my Caddie. When we got in the car I checked behind me in the back just in case he was ready with some piano wire. After I was done with my paranoid search, we drove off. After a few minutes I relaxed. I know it seems very extreme to be that cautious but just like Joseph Heller said in Catch 22. "Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not after you." Jesus Christ, that man was creepy.

* * *

"Can we go by the pet store?" I asked, leaning my head on Tig's shoulder. The breakfast at that Mom and Pop diner was to die for. I have never eaten so much in one sitting ever, and I think I was getting that dreaded Itus, I could feel myself starting to drift off into dream world. In case you don't know the Itus is when you eat too much and you become sleepy. That normally happens during Thanksgiving and other holidays.

"Why?" he asked, putting one arm out the window and the other navigating the steering wheel. "I want a puppy." I said, waiting for the great out lash from him, but he just looked at me and sighed. "Why? What the hell are we Noah's goddamn ark?"

I shook my head and sighed. "I just want a little pup." I said. "Please." I begged.

"No." Tig said shaking his head.

"Please." I said in my best baby voice. "I want a puppy. I've been asking for awhile." I dragged my nails lightly down his arm and the other down wrapping my finger around his curly hair. "I love you." I said into his ear.

"Yeah, I know." he said, giving me his mischievous little grin. "Please." I begged my lips poked out into a whimper of sorts.

"Okay, fine." he said, making a sharp U-turn so we could head towards the pet store. I was bouncing around the car in excitement and made Tig really regret his decision. How could he say no on Valentines Day? The little dog that I wanted was finally coming true, but what did I want? A terrier or a retriever? Should it be a he or a she? There were so many decisions that I had to make. I hated it but I was probably one of the most indecisive people on Earth.

When we walked into the pet store we were instantly greeted with the smell of pet food, and a mixture of urine and the smell of just animals in general. If you've ever been to someones house who had literally too many pets. Like so many pets that they were practically on top of one another, that was the smell. Sometimes the people themselves would smell like it. I hope I never smell like that. If I do please don't hesitate to tell me. Normally people like that tend to be a little off anyway.

"I'll get you a goldfish if we leave now." Tig said as he walked through the aisle with the ferrets and what not. He poked his head to look at some of them then walked away distastefully. Ferrets were gross, ugly creatures anyway, but I wouldn't mind having one. I heard they smell really bad. So maybe I don't want one after all. Oh well.

"Now what puppy do I want?" I said as I went to the puppies in cages. Each one of them looked so lonely and desperate to be adopted. They pawed at the cage doors as I went by. If I could I would adopt all of them right now. The lady running the shop followed me and smiled. "That boxer really seem to like you." she said.

"Really?" I asked reaching my fingers through the cage to let him lick my hand. He was a cute little puppy. His whole body except for his underbelly, paws and the middle of his face was brown. The rest was white minus his sad little black eyes. He hesitated at first and then slowly walked over to me and licked my finger. "That's the one." I said. The woman nodded and unlocked the cage and the pup fell into her arms. She placed it on the ground and it stared up at me, it's big black eyes curious of who I was and what did I want. I leaned down on my knees (as best as I could because of my fatass belly). "Come here boy." I said patting my lap. The boxer ran to me and jumped into my arms and licked my face.

"Alex. I found one." I called to him. He walked over to after picking with the rats and mice and leaned down to see what I got. "What is it?" he asked, the boxer came into view.

"A boxer? Really?" he said. The pup hid from Tig by burying itself in my shoulder and whimpered. The woman sighed. "He's afraid of men. When he was a baby he and his mother were mistreated by all the men in the house apparently. He's scared of big large men. He'll adapt to you, I bet."

I nodded. "I'm sorry Iggy Stardust." I said running my hand down through it's brown fur.

"Iggy? That's what you named it?" he asked.

"Well yeah." I replied kissing his head. "After that song by David Bowie."

"That's _Ziggy _Stardust." Tig said standing up straight and leaning on the wall with the dog food.

"I know." I said shaking my head, and rolling my eyes. "It's Ziggy's twin brother Iggy. That's how Iggy Pop got his name so suck it." I said sticking out my tongue and tickling Iggy's belly. When I looked out the window I saw a man with a shaved head, and wearing a muscle shirt even in the chill of February. His eyes were fixed on me, just staring like he wanted to ruin everything. I looked away from the window and tried to ignore him. I still couldn't help but feel he was going to do something. It was just a feeling.


	35. Big Ballons

I felt like a big balloon and I was going to pop any minute. It was a bad idea to let Tig go out on a run this late in my pregnancy. I had been feeling contractions all afternoon. They weren't that bad until the last hour. I just didn't feel right. I felt like I was getting really bad menstrual cramps that seemed to spread and grow. Tig left Jax to look after me. Oh great leave me with the egotistical runt. Why not just leave me out for the wolves to deliver my kid. Jax was watching TV, along with Anna Mae. I was playing with Iggy and going to get his food bowel when I felt something wet between my legs. I first thought that I peed myself really bad and I would have waddled off in shame if I hadn't felt the sharpest pain ever.

"Oh shit." I said, feeling the pain in my lower abdomen. It hurt so goddamn badly, I was literally leaning on the wall in agony. Yeah I had been ignoring my contractions all day. I wanted to have Tig here with me, but I didn't realized that the baby would come when it's ready. With or without Tig. Anna Mae looked over her shoulder, rushed over to me, and grabbed my hand. "Dude, are you okay?" she asked, touching my hand and giving it a tight squeeze. She looked at the big puddle on the floor that Iggy was sniffing at and about to lick, until I shooed him. "Don't lick that!" I snapped at him. I wasn't mad at my Iggy, I was just pissed off because of the pain.

"Did you just piss yourself?" Anna Mae asked. Yes, Anna Mae I did and now I'm just playing it off. Why did Tig leave me with all these idiots?!

"What the fuck do you think it is?!" I snapped, through the pain. Anna Mae nodded. "Oh yeah, she's ready." She helped me walk and led me to the door. "Jackson!" Anna Mae called. "Get ready! It's time!" Oh boy how much did I hate those words. I heard them in the movies and TV shows, but it never bothered me until I had to hear it for myself. It was a real bitch.

"Now?!" he exclaimed, jumping over the couch and running out the door and to his bike.

"Where's Tig?" I whined, snatching my hand from Anna Mae's grip. "He's suppose to be here for the baby."

"He should be coming back." Anna Mae said. I wasn't sure if she was trying to be comforting but at the time it sort of worked, but as I walked towards the door I realized that I looked like a bag lady. I walked back in the opposite direction and walked upstairs. "What are you doing?" Anna Mae asked pushing Iggy from the front door and pointing to the food bowel. Iggy reluctantly did what she said and whined about it all the way.

"I got to put on some make up." I said from down stairs. Just a little eye liner and lip stick. No big deal, but not to Anna Mae it was a huge deal. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to push our luck anymore with this baby. She was holding a bag in one hand and pushing Iggy back with the other. "You're going to sweat it off anyway."

"I just want to make sure I look good." I said, putting on the last of my eye liner, and opening the lipstick tube. "Okay done." I said putting on some dark purple lipstick. I looked at the shade in the mirror and then realized I didn't like it. The dark color was better when I was going to a party or something. Then again maybe it wasn't. The dark purple made my lips look small and my face looked even rounder than usual. I took a tissue and wiped it off. "Maybe I'll just do lip gloss."

"Will you hurry up! You're giving me a heart attack!" Anna Mae yelled. "If you don't hurry up you're going to have to let Jax deliver your baby and you don't want that!" True I didn't want that. But I also didn't want to roll up in there, looking a hot mess.

"Okay now I'm done." I said looking at the shirt I was wearing. A dingy Alice in Chains shirt. Yuck. I took off my shirt and tried to look for my baby doll top. "Hold on, Anna Mae." I shuffled through the drawers, the floor, and damn near everywhere else.

"Sweet mother of mercy!" Anna Mae exclaimed. I finally found it under one of Tig's old leather jackets and slid it on. "Okay now I'm ready." I said, waddling myself back down the stairs. Anna Mae gently but quickly hustled me out of there and in the car. "How far apart are your contractions?"

"I don't know. It was thirty minutes the last time."

"Jesus." Anna Mae said. "Think I should call Tig?" she asked.

"No!" I exclaimed. "I don't want him to worry. He needs to keep a clear mind." I said. I was so nervous. More nervous about the kid coming not the pain. I was worried it would have brain damage, or it would be deformed. If it was deformed I would never have another kid. I hate that.

"Well I'm calling him when we get to the hospital. He should be at the clubhouse by now. He deserves to know." Anna Mae said, speeding down the street to St. Thomas. The pain wasn't bothering me as much but it still hurt. I was more worried about Tig. He shouldn't have to rush from what he's doing to see me. The club needed him more than I did, I had Anna Mae. Which wasn't a large blessing in disguise but it was better than nothing.

Suddenly out of nowhere a large truck butt in front of us out of nowhere. Anna Mae pressed the brakes. "What the fuck! Thanks a lot asshole!" She said scooting to the other side, speeding up until the truck was almost out of sight then the truck tried to speed up with us. "So it's a game you want huh?"

Jax yelled into the window on his bike. "Hello! What the hell are you doing! This isn't the time for games."

"Shut up, Jackson this is personal." Anna Mae said speeding up. "Anna Mae!" I yelled. "Are you crazy?! I want to get to a damn hospital! So I don't have to have this baby on the floor-." Before I could finish my sentence the truck rammed up against Anna Mae's car. Anna Mae tried to move the steering wheel to gain control of the car frantically. "Jesus!" We both yelled. as the car swerved almost hitting another car. "Shit!" I yelled as we narrowly avoided car after car. My heart was thumping loud against my ears, and my stomach turned all sorts of directions. I was begging and praying that I wouldn't die and especially not to let my baby die before it had a chance to be born. I don't remember what happened after that I must've blacked out.

The next thing I remember was waking up with a ton of grass surrounding me. Anna Mae was shaking me and trying to get my attention and Jax was pulling at my door. I couldn't hear anything at all. It all sounded like a blur. My head was pounding and my nose was bleeding. I could taste the blood falling down into my mouth, and a straight into my lap. Then the sounds came flooding back to me. "Are you okay?!" Anna Mae asked me. I nodded my head but I couldn't move. "I-I can't move." I said, slowly losing consciousness once again. Then everything around me went black.

* * *

I woke up in a hospital bed, feeling someone hold my hand. As I opened my eyes I saw nothing but white surrounding me. The light made my head pound even harder and the smell of disinfectant stung my nostrils. I heard something beeping in the background and something going up my nose. My first thought was 'Wow heaven looks exactly like a hospital.' Then I realized damn I'm dead. I never got to see what my daughter looks like, then it hit me. My baby was safe where she was and was she okay. After I made peace with God, I looked to the side of my bed and there was Tig. He was face down on the bed with his head on his arm. I suddenly realized that he was in heaven too, but what did he do? What happened to him? I tried to move my body but I was too stiff and sore, instead I squeezed his hand really tightly then he suddenly lifted his head up. There were dark circles under his blue eyes and his hair was messed up.

"You're awake." he said rubbing his eyes with a ringed finger. I nodded. "How do you feel?" he asked. I tried to shrug but everything hurt too. "Don't move, okay? Not for now." I nodded. My neck was stiff and it hurt a little but it wasn't something that was major. "Wh-Where's the kid?" I managed to say.

"She's okay." he said. "I'll take you to see her soon." I nodded. "How do I look?" I asked. I planned to have my make up and hair done so that I look good, but I think that plan went out of the window. He nodded. "You look good."

"Don't lie to me." I said with a chuckle. "My face hurts so I must look horrible." He shook his head. "You look fine." I knew he was lying but it didn't matter to me, as long as my little girl was okay. I motioned for him to come closer and he did. I touched his face, and said. "You should get some sleep. How long has it been since you ate?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just forgot."

"How do you forget to eat?" I asked shaking my head. "Go home, take a shower, get something to eat, and maybe a few hours of sleep. I'll be here. Then we can see our kid." He went to go give me a kiss on the mouth but my face was hurting too much for it so he kissed my hand. "Be back in a bit." he said.

"I'll be waiting." I said waving a weak goodbye. He walked out the door, stopped and turned back around. "I need to know one thing first."

"What?" I asked.

"Who did that to you."

I honestly didn't remember. All I saw was a license plate that I barely even remembered, a truck. I didn't see anyone face, or nothing. "Some punk or whatever. Maybe it was a accident." He shook his head. "It wasn't no accident. I need to know if you remember anything darling. Anything at all."

I thought for a second. My mind was a little fuzzy and I still couldn't remember shit. "How long ago was it?" I asked.

"Two days ago." he replied. Damn, I must've really had it bad.

I said it once, and I'll say it again I didn't remember much. Barely anything at all. I just remembered Anna Mae driving next to a truck, maybe it was black. I don't know. After that I drew a blank. I shook my head. "I don't remember babe. I'm sorry." I said. Tig nodded and turned around to leave. "Alex?" I asked in a weak voice. I felt myself starting to go back to sleep. I already had a pounding headache and my whole body felt like it was tightening. "Yeah?" he asked turning around. "Give me another kiss?" I asked. He nodded and kissed my hand again. "Sure." He walked back out of the room, not looking back. I didn't have time to dwell on it because I felt myself slip back into a deep sleep.

* * *

"How long is it going to take?" I snapped at Tig. Tig was sitting by the side of my bed, his head in his hands. He was a little distant with me for the past day thought and it was starting to get on my nerves. "I don't know." Tig said. We sat in silence for a few minutes and I touched his arm. "What's wrong baby?" I asked.

"Nothing just thinking."

"About what. Tell me please."

"Just about what happened to you. I'm going to track that son of a bitch down." He said. I rubbed his arm. "It was probably some kids fucking around with their dad's car. It's not worth the trouble baby. I'm okay." I didn't want him to get hurt or something happen to him or the club because of his lust for vengeance. Besides the small bruises, the emergency C-section, and the slight concussion everything was okay. As okay as bruises, a C-section and a slight concussion. It wasn't worth it. No one else was going to get hurt because of me. "I'm fine." I assured him. Tig on the other hand was skeptical.

"I know, but that son of a bitch is going to pay." he said his fist balled. "And the next time I see Anna Mae I'm going to bust that bitch's jaw for causing this shit."

"Don't. He rammed into us. Whoever he was. She did everything she could to try and get me to the hospital. Believe me it's not her fault."

"Whatever." he said.

"Have you seen her yet?" I asked. The question had been on the tip of my tongue for nearly five hours, but I never got around to asking him. Tig didn't answer right away. He was staring into the blanket and then looked at me and shook his head. "No."

"Why not?" I asked. He shrugged. "I don't know. Wanted to wait for you." He was lying. I wasn't exactly sure why he didn't but I knew he was scared to. He rather wait till I was in the room so he couldn't chicken out and run. I tried to sit up even further and ignored the pain in my side from where they cut me open. I kissed him on the head. "Well I don't know about you, but I can't wait." I leaned back and we sat there in silence, then I saw red hair and pink scrubs, walking towards the door and pushing it open. The nurse was finally here. My heart literally skipped a beat when I saw the glass crib rolling in behind the nurse. I felt tears warm my eyes as I saw my little girl all bundled up in a pink blanket, and a pink hat on her head. She was quiet but was wide awake. I held my arms out to her as the nurse handed her over.

"Beautiful girl." the nurse said.

"She is." I said looking into her face. She was absolutely beautiful. She had light skin, black matted soft hair and stunning blue eyes. The same blue eyes as her father. She was a little red but she didn't have that alien look on her like all babies have when they're first born. The nurse smiled and left us. Tig wrapped his arm around me and looked at our kid. He placed a ringed hand over his face and sniffed. I looked up at him. "Are you crying dear?" I asked.

"No." he said defensively shaking his head. "No, I just had some dust in my eyes." Our baby cooed and made soft little baby noises in my arms. "Hey baby," I said to it pushing back tears myself. "I'm your Mama." She seemed to have recognize my voice because she curled up close to my chest and cooed again. My heart was so warmed and tears were falling down my eyes so rapidly my cheeks were wet. "You want to see your Daddy?" I passed the kid to him. He looked at me and shook his head. "No, I don't know how to hold a kid."

"It's easy just place your hand under her back and make sure you support her head." He did so and looked into the kids eyes. His eyes started to water, and when the kid curled against him. It was truly amazing. They say a father doesn't become a father until he holds his kid in his arms and looks at it. The club had seen him happy, angry, enraged, in lust, and pretty much any other type of emotion or expression, but I was the only one who had seen him cry. All I could see in his eyes was love, the love a father had for his daughter. Even now I could see them being tight together, her being a daddy's girl. Much like I was to my father. Anna Mae was right. It's always the darkest before the dawn and she was my dawn. No, our dawn.

So that's what I named her. Dawn. Dawn Eleana Trager.

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_Hoped you liked. Eleana means "God has answered" or "tree". Whichever works. Apples got seriously lucky, huh? If it had been a head on collision it would be a totally different story. Hope you liked and leave me some feedback. _


	36. Retarded Faces

_Apologies my fellow readers. School hasn't been kind to me and like it or not I really, really, really want to graduate. *sighs* I know it seems like I did, but I have not given up on this story. In fact I can't wait till spring break so I can put out more chapters. I put two stories in one because I love you guys. Off to the story. Leave some feedback please because you love this story and want to see more of it.. :]_

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I don't know why it was a big shocker that babies are the most complicated things that two people could ever create. They can't speak so they can't tell you what they want, they can't write it down because they don't learn to write or even read till years later and finally they don't have any grip over the English language to begin with so everything above is irrelevant. So what do they do you may or may not ask? Of course you already know the answer to that question. They cry, and cry and cry some more. Oh did I mention that they cry?

When Tig and I, got Dawn home she was as quiet as a mouse and better than any baby I've seen. She just made little baby noises and stared at us. She recognized our voices for sure but she wasn't sure who we were. Understandable she is a baby, which is short for "an unknowing little person". However when we put her to bed, she started to cry, and let's just say the girl has got some lungs on her.

So I breast fed her, burped her, changed her, rocked her, sang to her, cuddled her but she just wouldn't stop crying. So I fed her yet again, burped her, changed her, rocked her and so on. This entire cycle lasted for another couple of hours. I think she must've wore herself out because she fell asleep, but not for long. Sooner than later, she started to cry again so I had to feed her yet again, change her and repeated the same cycle over and over. By the time night came around I don't think I had a minute to myself. Not to mention I hadn't taken off my bra so many times in one day. Plus my nipples were chapped to shit. Too much information? Well that's too bad. Tig and I nearly passed out almost immediately after Dawn was put to sleep.

I really don't get why he was so sleepy, when all he did was play errand boy and rush off to get things, I had to do all the dirty work. He must've worn himself out from hiding when Dawn needed to have her diaper changed. It's amazing how it takes a lot of brains to fake such stupidity. Maybe that's what all fathers become when their kids are born. Just plain stupid. Now I understand why my dad had that confused expression on his face all the time. Like when the kid comes their minds just shrink and their left with a permanent retarded faces on their features. Oh well. He'll figure it out I suppose, but then again it's Tig. One can only expect so much from them.

The next day Dawn was taking a nap, and I was catching up on some sleep. I wasn't fully asleep nor fully awake. I was kind of wandering around in dream land but kept coming back to reality, just to check in to see if I wasn't missing anything. From the corner of my weary eyes I saw Tig come into Dawn's room during his lunch break just to look at his baby. He kept rubbing her back and admiring her. She looked a lot like him especially when she opened her eyes. He couldn't get over it. I never would expect a man like Tig, to fall over any woman, but then again it is his daughter. His little girl. He must've had the idea that he could pick her up without disturbing her because before I knew it he was reaching into her crib and pulling her up to lay on his shoulder.

"You're going to wake her." I said slowly drifting back off into dream land.

"No I won't." Tig whispered rubbing her back gently. "I just want her to hold her before I go back to work."

"Are you coming home early?" I asked, still off in dream land.

"Yeah." He said, sitting in the rocking chair, and holding her. If I would've thought of it I would have taken a picture. Tig stopped rocking her, when he felt her stir, and then when the coast was clear he started rocking her again. I wasn't sure how long, he was holding her, but I heard Dawn start to whimper quietly at first then the whimpers got louder.

"Oh shit." Tig said. "Sssh." He said rocking her, so not to wake me, but I knew what was going on, however I wasn't moving. Hell I didn't have the energy to move. Then I heard Dawn start to full out cry.

"Why!" I said, into the pillow. I was worn down to shit, I didn't even want to move. Tig tired in vain to rock her, but I think the poor thing was hungry. Tig looked at me then at Dawn. He extended her out to me. "So, I'm going back to work. See you later bye." After I took her he rushed out of the room. I glared at him and then started to feed Dawn. "You're father is a moron." I said

* * *

The party for us and Dawn was held at the clubhouse because I didn't feel like picking up after a baby and several grown men who don't know that the trash can is where someone throws away their shit. So the final decision was to have it at the clubhouse. Okay, it was more my decision. I pretty much demanded that it be at the clubhouse so I didn't have to even worry about anything. Honestly I really didn't want one. The gifts I received that everyone spent so much money on at the discount section at Macy's was really more than enough. I just think the club just wants a reason to get drunk and party. It was bad enough that I had to drag myself out of bed to attend to a nagging baby, but I had to smile and pretend like I was having fun when all I wanted to do was sleep. However being an old lady with a crow tattoo on your right forearm means that you have to act like you're happy to see a bunch of sweaty bikers who disturb you from your eight hour slumber. I'm not bitter, it's just a statement.

Anyway, everyone who was anyone showed up to be frank, well except Charlotte. Tig wasn't going to invite her but I did anyway. It's her granddaughters party, so she should see her. The only thing is that she was nowhere to be found. I figured it was the beginning of the party so no one showed up right on time.

So I became somewhat of a social little butterfly. Talking to everyone and being my normally charming self. This included keeping those drunk idiots and haughty sluts away from my kid. When every person who jumps out from under their rock, you have to be cautious. Even my older brother showed up and he hates the Sons. He sat in the corner drinking free beers, and talking to my mom who was watching after Dawn. I warned Tig and Cassius that they had to stay the hell away from each because if they didn't I would make their lives corrupt to shit.

I decided to catch up with my brother. He seemed slightly buzzed and a little distracted, maybe it was all the Sons around him that made him nervous. Or perhaps it was the fact that Violet's condition hadn't improved. In fact it was getting worse. I wrapped an arm around his neck. "What's new, Baloo?" I asked, taking a small sip of beer. He pinched my cheek and said. "Nothing, Tink. Absolutely nothing."

"Is Violet doing any better?"

Cassius hesitated. "Um, a bit." He took a big gulp of beer before saying his next sentence. "She's going through ECT. She might be well enough to be released in a few months."

I was horrified at the thought of ECT. Just in case, I'm the only one who knows, but Electroconvulsion therapy is something that you don't want to do. If you enjoy electrical currents running through your body sending you into convulsions that are quite painful then be my guest and enjoy. But I know I cringe at the thought of that happening to me, but then again who wouldn't? I mean, have you ever seen One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest? Poor Jack Nicholson. I heard it was _slightly_ better than before, but honestly who would want to be reduced to that?

I tried my best to look on the positive, and clasped my hands together and gave him a phony smiled. "That's wonderful. At least she'll be well enough to get out of there." I couldn't read any joy on his face. It was like someone put a needle in his bloodstream and sucked the life out of him. I had no doubt in my mind he loved her. I mean if Tig was in the same situation I wouldn't know how I was going to get by and still raise our daughter. It was already bad enough with one kid but two? I wasn't sure if my sanity could take it. Maybe it was the hormones from the pregnancy but still, I think anyone could grasp my point.

"Well if you need anything. You know I'm right here." I said pointing to myself. Cassius looked at me with Mama's solid dark eyes. He needed all the help he could get. Mama, was helping him with his kids, which made me wonder what he wanted me to do. Cassius patted my hand. "We'll talk about it later Tink. Enjoy your party." I nodded and got up with my tall glass of water still tightly in my hand. I've been carrying this drink for the past hour and I was determined not to get drunk. The last time I got drunk, Dawn was conceived. (Plus I'm not suppose to since I'm breast feeding Dawn).

As I walked to the garage area of the clubhouse where I found Tig and the others drinking beers and laughing. I sat down beside him and listened to their crude jokes and drunken laughs when I spotted a woman in a form fitting leopard skinned dress, and heels walking towards us. Her sunglasses were placed on top of her black victory rolls. Her ruby lips curled into a smile. I wasn't sure if the sunglasses were what she really used or they were for show but either way she looked absolutely stunning.

"Alex!" Charlotte exclaimed. "Hey, baby." When she approached them, she kissed Tig on the cheek and wrapped an arm around him. Tig looked like a a seven year old kid who was being smothered to death by his mother. He gave the 'just-give-me-a-hug-and-get-out-of-here' look. "Sorry I'm late. I got a little caught up at the reservation." Her blue eyes looked at me and she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me on the cheek. "How are you doing darling?" she asked placing her red fingered nails on my cheeks.

"I'm alright." I said with a smile. Why is she so goddamn pretty? "You want to see Dawn?"

Charlotte had seen Dawn once or twice in the hospital, but hadn't seen her since. Tears came to her blue eyes and she nodded with a wide smile on her face. "Very much so." she said. I looked briefly at Tig who looked strangely apathetic and then to the other members of the club who looked like they could barely control the drool coming out of their mouths. Judging from the stares at Charlotte's ass and the 'oh-my-god-I-got-to-have-her-look' from them I could tell it was lust at first sight. Come to think of it, maybe Tig's look wasn't apathy, perhaps it was blind fury at his brothers checking out his mom.

"She's over there, with my mom. One of the guys can show you to her." I partly did that to get back at Tig for calling sweet butt bitch sexy earlier and the mere fact that I didn't feel like working my way through the crowd just to get to my mom and work my way back. I guess I was more tired than I thought. Charlotte turned on her heel. "Oh, are these your friends, Alex?" she asked him looking rather eager to meet them. Tig glared at them and shrugged.

"I'm Chibs." Chibs said extending his hand out toward her. Charlotte took his hand gracefully and gave him a flirty smile. "Hello, Chibs."

"And I'm Bobby." Bobby said nearly leaping out of his seat just to shake those ivory hands of hers.

"Juice." Juice said taking her hand awkwardly. It probably would've been even cuter if he hadn't tripped off of his seat to stand up. Finally Clay lifted himself out of his seat smoothly and said. "I'm the President of this club. I'm Clay."

Charlotte flashed him a charming ruby smile and said. "I'm Charlotte. How do you do?"

"Oh god." Tig whined into his hands. "This is my worst nightmare." I felt bad for Tig, now but this was a sight to see. I only hoped he wouldn't hold this over my head for too long. I actually like talking to him for our morning coffee. it would be awkward if he gave me the silent treatment again.

"I'm fine darling. I just happen to know where Apples mom is." Clay said. His voice dropped an octave, into a almost husky tone. I guess that was his way of being truly seductive. Charlotte extended her arm. "So show me the way, Mr. President." I tried my best to resist a laugh, but I could feel my resistance breaking. Tig shook his head. Tig looked like he wanted to jump up and strangle Clay, but I think the President patch on his cut was the only thing that stopped him. "I hate my life." Tig said under his breath. Clay took Charlotte's extended arm and led her back into the clubhouse. When they were sure she was gone and out of ear shot, the club members started talking about her like hormonal high school boys.

"Dude, who is that?" Juice asked. "An aunt or something?"

"Close." I said.

"Sister?"

"Warmer." I replied.

"She's my mom, alright." Tig said gulping down the rest of his beer.

"Dude, she's hot." Juice said. I started laughing my head off, but according to Tig that wasn't funny. Tig punched him hard in the jaw and poor Juice fell flat on the ground and tried to pick himself up. Chibs was cautious but he said. "Sorry, brother but your mom is pretty-," Before he finished his sentence he saw that look in Tig's blue eyes. That look that he wanted to hurt someone, maybe more in fact. And yes there will be blood. "You know attractive. In a respectful way." Chibs slowly but surely backed away from his deranged brother and made himself damn near invisible for the rest of the night.

Tig threw his beer bottle towards a trash can but missed sending the brown bottle scattered into tiny pieces around the floor into small brown crystals, and he went to the Jack Daniels, taking a huge gulp. "Shit, I wanna go home." Tig said folding his arms like a spoiled brat. It's hard to blame Charlotte though. If I had the charm of Scarlet O'Hara, and the looks of Bettie Page I think I would have done the same. If I wasn't with Tig. I think if I did try it now, Tig would go ape shit on me and I doubt you would find my body. To try and lighten the mood as I watched my old man drink I said. "You know, I hope the kid doesn't have your anger or taste for Jackie D." I said with a smile.

He wasn't at all amused.

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_Re-corrected this chapter. Thanks to LiveFreeDieWell. :) You're a lifesaver._


	37. Sunshine in a Pan

_Re-corrected the last chapter. Thanks to LiveFreeDieWell. :) You're a lifesaver._

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Dawn wouldn't stop crying. For long periods of time, she seemed to just cry and scream like she was in total discomfort. She would flail her arms around around and clench her fist really tight. Plus she was really gassy. It was gross but true. However the true suffers in this tragic tale is not my little girl. It has to be myself and my old man Tig. We should have called our mothers because more than likely they would know what to do, however we are too stubborn.

Mama was raised in a huge family. She was the middle child out of twelve and Charlotte raised half of her cousins and had an adopted baby brother at thirteen which she mostly raised. Not to mention they both had kids of their own. Sure it had been a few years but I know baby problems don't change that much. Despite this Tig and I were determined to make it on our own. Boy, was that a mistake. We had no idea what was wrong with her. When she was asleep we got maybe an hour or two of sleep of our own and then she woke up there was nothing but crying in the house. Not just from Dawn but from me as well. I felt like such a horrible mother. I couldn't even figure out what was wrong with my kid.

The other half of my crying was out of frustration. I could barely hold her anymore because I just wanted to shake the hell out of her. However even though I was mostly the one taking care of the Crying Princess, Tig was also getting the brunt of it as well. I even saw him tear up a few times when his sleep was disturbed. After nearly a week of taking this bullshit, I gave up and put her in her crib and let her cry.

After I made eggs, and pancakes for Tig's breakfast, I sat at the dining room table and suddenly a small salty tear crept down my cheek and then out came the many tears that followed from that loner tear. Soon I was balling my eyes out in my hands. Nothing in this entire world made me cry hard enough than my daughter. I wished she would just stop crying or at least tell me what's wrong. Of course I know this is impossible, but it would have been nice. After several minutes of emotional distress, the doorbell rang. I took in a few breaths to calm my nerves then said in a hidden shaky voice. "It's open." Even though I did try to cover up the problem I don't think I did a good job.

Anna Mae walked in, her heels clicking on the floor getting louder as she reached me. She had a bag of the baby food she got for us, and placed it on the floor. "Hey boo." She looked into my eyes and saw the tears that had been falling down my face. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed my moist cheek. "Sssh." She said. "It will get better my Rican teddy bear."

"We're horrible parents aren't we?" I said, in a shaky breath. Anna Mae shook her head. "No, no, no. Dawn is probably just cranky. It will get better. You both are great parents." She thought for a second and then said. "Well maybe you are a good parent."

"We're a wreck. I have barely slept in a week." I said, wiping my nose on my sweatshirt sleeve. "And Tig is delirious."

"Yeah I heard." Anna Mae said. "He fell asleep in church yesterday."

"He did?" I asked looking up at her.

Anna Mae nodded. "Apparently his eyes were open so Clay and the others didn't know right away. When Clay hit him on the arm Tig nearly jumped out of his chair. He's catching some Z's in some of the cars with the comfy back seats I heard too. "

I shook my head. He's been saying some really ridiculous stuff anyway. Like that he was the King of France and that SAMCRO was part of the Communist dynasty. If I hadn't been so tired and irritable I would've cared that he hasn't brushed his hair in nearly a week or left the house without a shirt on. However my exhaustion drained my care. Goddamn, I was a bad old lady and mother.

"Maybe we should call both of your moms." Anna Mae said stroking through my hair. I rather if she didn't because I hadn't cleaned my hair and nearly a week and it was starting to get greasy, but I don't think Anna Mae cared. I shook my head so hard that the room started to spin but I didn't care. "No. Tig and I can make it on our own. We're fine don't you worry about us."

Just as I said that Tig walked downstairs. He looked more like he had been through a war than a hour of sleep. His hair was tangled and wilder than usual, and his eyes had dark circles under them which looked even darker because of the red in his eyes. His shirt was half buttoned and he was wearing one boot. However what really stood out was the fact that he wasn't wearing any pants. "No time to eat." he said. "I got to go school."

"Honey." I said, my head turning as he walked towards the front door. "You have to go to work."

"I know that!" Tig snapped. "Isn't that what I just said. Jesus!" He slowly made his way towards the door. Poor thing hadn't gotten a decent nights sleep in a week. He was slowly dragging himself to shit. Anna Mae frowned and said. "Um, Tig? Aren't you forgetting something." she said noticing his missing pants.

"Oh." Tig said turning around and walking back towards us. he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Sorry mom. Bye." I barely looked at what he did. Normally I would be shocked but I was too emotional. The last thing I cared about was what was going on around me.

"Okay." Anna Mae said, unwrapping her arms from around my shoulders and walking to the nearest phone she could find. "That's it. I'm calling your parents. How can you take care of a kid when you're half way crazy?."

Tig wandered around the room, taking a interest in anything that looked well interesting. He would look at the pictures hanging on the wall then move on to stare at something really shiny in the dish washer. I shook my head at him, but I was too tired to steer him in the other direction. "Tig?" I asked. He wandered around some more before looking back up at me. "Hmm?"

"Do you want breakfast?" I asked pointing to his plate at the table. He looked at it and frowned. "Is that breakfast?" he asked. I nodded. He wandered over to it and stared at it with a half crazy smile on his face, and he started to laugh. "Look Apples!" he said. "It's so bright. Like sunshine in a pan."

"It's a plate darling." I said rubbing my red weary eyes.

"Whatever!" Tig snapped slamming his fist on the oven. Tig was one who needed eight hours of sleep at least. If he didn't he would become a different person. Quick tempered and everything. Everything seemed to settle down for a bit, then all hell broke loose. Dawn started to cry, but this time it was more like a scream. Tig slammed his head down on the table. "Oh god." he muttered.

I started to tear up again. Anna Mae shook her head and finally had enough of watching Tig and I slowly unravel. "Who has the most experience?" Anna Mae asked, when she pointed to me. "Probably yours. She had two."

"Get her to shut up!" Tig screamed. I wasn't sure if he was yelling about Dawn or yelling about Anna Mae. Either way I think Dawn was lucky she was Tig's daughter because if she wasn't he probably would've broken her neck. As for myself, I had about enough. I got up from my seat and walked up the stairs to Dawn's room. I was face to face with the dreaded purple room, where I heard nothing but screams coming from past the threshold. I touched the gold knob of her door and closed it until I couldn't hear anything but a blurred scream of my daughter. It hurt my heart to ignore my baby, but what was I to do? As I walked away from my kids bedroom, I heard Tig doing something awful in the kitchen. He was probably banging pots together to keep the sound of Dawn crying to keep disturbing his thoughts. I think bordering when you're bordering on the line of madness even the stupidest things seem to make sense.

Writers always preach about the disembodiment of society and it's morals in desperate times. These times usually occur during a natural disaster, a crisis, or an apocalypse. Well, with the lack of sleep from Tig, I think he was starting to become as mad as a hatter. I'll be honest Squeaky Fromme has a better grip on reality. Tig was cornering Anna Mae, looking just as crazy as he did when he fought Darby. The only thing is this wasn't for a good reason.

"Who are you calling?!" Tig exclaimed at her as he backed her into the wall. Anna Mae was so scared that she was trembling. Anna Mae was only two or three inches taller than me, and Tig still looked like a giant compared to her. Plus she knew exactly what he could do to a girl like her. "I-I-was-."

"You were what?!" Tig said his hands clenching and unclenching.

"Tig!" I said, taking his attention away from a frightened Anna Mae. His eyes were not as fierce anymore. In fact he seemed more calm than anything. Maybe perhaps a little too goofy.

"Yes?" he said, with a smile. I wasn't sure if it was a delirious smile or if it was truly sincere and to be frank I wasn't sure what he really was. I was having my own delusional issues at that point and time.

"Call my mom now." I said to Anna Mae. "Charlotte is almost an hour away and by then we could be dead." I said, turning on my heel and walking back upstairs to the bathroom to get some pills. It wasn't what I wanted to do but hell, a delusional Tig was not what the world needed. I searched through the cabinets and found the strongest sleeping pill I could find. That my friend was Ambien.

I used to take some so I could fall asleep before I was pregnant with Dawn. I had to stop because I would wake up on the floor with Tig by my side reading the twenty page letter I wrote to him the previous. All of it was pure nonsense. To this day I still couldn't remember writing it. Don't know why I still had it, I only hoped it wasn't that bad yet. It probably wasn't the best for him, but desperate times called for desperate measures. I took three pills which would knock him out for sure and gripped them tightly in my hand. As I stepped down from the last stair I looked around the corner for him. He was wandering around, staring at the picture. "Oh, Tig. Come here darling and take these." I said, giving him the pills.

"What's this?" he asked, looking at them.

"They're good pills. Kinda like...blue velvet. Or whatever." I said thinking of the first thing that came to mind. I had one piece of knowledge about Tig and that was his appetite for drugs. Everything from hardcore drugs to weed. I knew he had done just about everything and the curiosity of trying a drug that maybe he had or hadn't done was too much to bear. He quickly snatched them from me and washed it down with already open beer that was left on the corner. "Good boy." I said, smiling patting his cheeks like the good boy he was, as Anna Mae made the call to my mom. "Now go eat your breakfast." He sluggishly walked over to the plate I had made for him, picked it up and sat on the couch. "How is it?" I asked as he started to dig in.

"Good." he said, turning on the television, and turned it up even louder to drown out the sound of Dawn screaming at the top of her little lungs. Which was quite an accomplishment for one so small. We were watching a female lioness take down an antelope as it was frolicking through the grass. Poor thing. Just watching her suck the life out of that poor creature made me realize how much nature really sucks. "Aha!" Tig chuckled and pointed as he watched. "That's the way to do it. Aim for the goddamn throat!"

"Are you speaking from your vast knowledge or experience?" I asked, picking up the nail file I lost only a few months ago that was trapped under the couch.

"A bit of both." he said not taking his eyes off of the television. He stopped eating, closed one eye and then opened them back again. He put his plate down on the floor and leaned back watching the TV the lioness take her meal back to the other pack of other lions. The lions with blood all over their mouths and fur tore apart the poor antelope meal. Almost as soon as they ate it the vultures would eat the remains that the other lions didn't get to yet.

"That's you." I said pointing to a small vulture with a big head on the screen and laughing deliriously as I filed away at my nails. Tig shook his head and closed one eye and then opened it back again. "Nope, it's you." he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you're short." We both laughed. Every joke that he made at me was almost always about my height. Short old ladies get no goddamn respect. I didn't mind, everyone else think I'm cute.

Dawn's crying seemed to calm for a bit so maybe we could get some peace. I knew if I or Tig went into her room to try and comfort her one or both of us would probably have the urge to shake her out of it or hurt her. We both loved her dearly and would gladly die for her but we were at our wits end. As I watched the lioness I only imagined what the other old ladies would say if they found out I left my daughter in the room to cry. I figured if I stayed there and lost my mind and accidentally killed her there would be an uproar. If I left her alone like a sane woman there would be an uproar. I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't. This is the life. Tig picked up his plate again and started eating as he watched a frog hop around searching for food on the screen. "I used to have a frog, when I was younger." Tig said, in a calm tone and painfully slow.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yep." he said, nodding his head so much I thought it was going to fall off his neck. "It's name was Sir Hopper."

I chuckled a bit, and wiped a eye lash from my red eyes. Then suddenly his plate dropped to the floor and he fell on the arm of the couch, face first. He was already snoring just as he hit the arm. I put his legs up on the couch and wrapped a blanket around him. I kissed his forehead and whispered into his ear. "Sorry it was for your own good." While Tig slept off his insanity I told Anna Mae to call Clay and tell him that Tig can't make it in because if he doesn't get any sleep he'll run the risk of having a new nickname added onto his old one. I could see it being Tig The Homicidal Maniac. Or Tig the Mad Biker. I really do like the first one.

* * *

By the time Mama had got there, I was slowly starting to come out of my depressive state, and Dawn had started to settle down a bit. Maybe she got tired of screaming her head off, but before I knew it the doorbell rang three or four times in a fucking row. All I knew it had better been my mom and not a Son trying to figure out where the hell Tig is. Anna Mae answered the door and the four foot eleven inch tall woman zoomed right past her. "Where's my grand baby?" she asked in her thick Spanish accent. That meant she was nervous. I heard her voice and ran to her and wrapped my arms around her. I hadn't felt this way towards my Mama since the first day of grade school. Times like these makes you really appreciate your Mama. "Mama, I don't know what's wrong with her." I cried, my depression was coming back quicker and quicker. Mama kissed me on the forehead and said in Spanish. "_Don't worry, baby_." She patted my cheek. "_Mama is going to take care of this. Tell me what's wrong with her_."

Of course I responded to her back in Spanish. I rarely used this language tool. Only in desperate times. "_She just won't stop crying. At night she's fine, but all day she keeps crying and crying and crying. Mama, I don't know what to do_."

Mama nodded. "What you need is some rest." She held my hand firmly, her eyes reflected that maternal love that I only hoped my daughter would see in my eyes when she was old enough. She looked over my shoulder. Her eyes went from left to right. "Where's the buffoon?" she asked, with a hint of attitude. I hated when she talked about Tig. She had a slight on and off hatred with him. He was only her favorite person when he did something for her.

"He's sleeping. Believe me, he needed the sleep more than anyone. He almost flipped shit on Anna Mae."

Mama shook her head. "Well, let me see my grand baby. In the mean time you get some sleep. I don't care what it takes. I don't know how anyone can expect you to take care of a baby when you're half crazy and you look like hell."

Thanks Mom. Thanks, for telling me that I look like crap. Not that it mattered but still I wanted to have at least a little dignity left in me. I barely had the strength to drag myself to my bedroom where I collapsed on the bed. It felt so good to not have to worry about the baby. Only once in awhile was I awakened so I could breast feed Dawn. I didn't get the knowledge of what was going on with her until several hours later.

I walked down the hallway to Dawn's room where Mama was sitting in the purple rocking chair, swaying back and forth softly with Dawn held upright. Her little legs seem to move with Mama's humming. Every couple of minutes Mama would gently massage her stomach and around her ribs. When it seemed like Dawn was asleep Mama got up and placed Dawn back in her crib and kissed her goodnight. She didn't even realize I was watching her awhile, but then again maybe she did. Maybe she wanted me to learn by example.

Mama walked towards me and motioned me toward the living room where Tig was still passed out asleep. She closed Dawn's door behind her. "Cassius had colic when he was a baby. It was horrible. Thank god, your father knew doctors. I don't know how I would've gotten by." Mama headed to the living room chair and laying back in her seat. She exhaled with relief to be finally sitting down. I joined her in the chair opposite of her.

I nodded and smiled at her. "You're amazing Mama." I really meant that.

"I know." She turned to look at Tig who was snoring. "He's still out? What happened to him? He fall on his motorcycle and is in a coma?" She said that almost too gleefully.

"No mom." I said rolling my eyes and laying back in my chair. "I gave him sleeping pills."

Mama rolled her eyes and shook her head. I threw my arms up in the air. "What? He was going to make a permanent indent into Anna Mae's face I had to do something."

"Sleeping pills, though? How many?"

"Two or three." I muttered.

"Well, he's going to be out for awhile." Mama said not at all concerned about Tig's safety, but more about if he was going to be able to make that money for his family. She stretched her hair. "Might as well tell his friends that he won't be around tomorrow either. The after effects are the real killer."

I couldn't help but feel she was right.

* * *

_What do you say people? More long chapters stick to short ones?_


	38. Stepford Wife

Dawn had trouble with nights. I think all babies that age have trouble with nights. I couldn't wait till she hit the six month age. I could get back to work and start doing other things besides taking care of her. Not that I mind exactly, I'm just suffering from cabin fever I suppose. Plus lack of sleep. I was getting up out of bed two or three times a night.

Iggy would often stand guard in front of her room just in case someone would want to harm her. He was such a good dog. After I just put her to sleep, and laid my head back onto my comfy bed, I heard the front door open, and prayed that Iggy was asleep and praise sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph he was. I sighed with relief and leaned back on the pillow as I let my heart rate slow down. The last thing I need was Iggy's barking to wake Dawn up. I was already pissed off at him for the little stunt he pulled two days ago.

I had Clay and Bobby over for dinner. Everyone was having a nice time, and Dawn got the attention she craved. Everyone was having a fun time, except for Iggy. Iggy is dead scared of men. Especially men like them. You know, those type of guys, that will rip your head off and then go out to dinner. Well Iggy saw this and ran into mine and Tig's room. Poor thing. He was shaking, and whining, I couldn't let him, suffer so I let him stay there. I felt really sorry for him, until I walked into the room later that night. The first thing I was greeted with was the smell of piss. I prayed over and over that it was just my imagination. I was not that lucky. This made my empathy decrease down to a negative one hundred. He peed all over my precious carpet. I was so mad that I yelled at him and kicked him out of the room. He even whined to Daddy (Tig) and tried to make him feel sorry for him, but of course hard ass didn't fall for it. So he spent the rest of the night outside. I felt like a bitch after I cleaned up the piss from the burgundy carpet, but I felt I had a good reason to be mad. I still hold a bit of a grudge, but I digress.

I heard Tig throw his keys into the basket and walk up the stairs to our room. When he entered our room he looked beat but a little wired and aware of himself and his surroundings. He must've been coming down from a adrenaline rush. I stretched myself out on the bed and waited for him to get close enough to hear me.

"What happened?" I asked, as he gave me a quick kiss. He smelled like gun powder and beer. It was a weird combination but then again he came back with a different scent every time. "Mayans." he grumbled, as he took off his boots. He looked at me like he was waiting for a negative reaction from me, but I stared at him and shook my head. Just because my brother is close with them doesn't mean I am. I did grow up with some of them but I don't pledge my loyalty to them. "What did they do now?"

"Being Mayans." he said, taking a strong arm and pulling me closer to him. I leaned on his shoulder and started to fall asleep. I was so tired I could barely even think. As I felt myself doze off I felt him slide his hand up my night slip and bite at my neck. "Hmm?" I asked, opening one eye.

He didn't say anything just bit my neck some more. Before I even thought of the reaction I would get I said, in a soft voice. "I'm really sleepy."

Those were three words that Tig did not like to hear. I never ever in our entire relationship told him no until after Dawn was born. He didn't understand that the baby took it's toll on me, and I was really tired. I do miss that special time with him. Damn, do I miss it, but he's got to understand that I have other responsibilities now and I can't juggle it all. He doesn't have to be with that monkey 24/7. Men should understand that women are not robots. We are human beings goddamn it! Does it say Stepford Wife on my ass? He unwrapped his arm around me and finished undressing. He was really quiet, which meant he was pissed.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yep." Short answers meant that he was indeed pissed.

"You're not mad at me?"

"Nope." That was Tig-speak for yes.

"C'mon yell at me." I said rolling my eyes. "You're making me feel bad."

"Do you think I don't know that?" he asked as he slipped under the bed sheets. "I wasn't born yesterday. I'm old, I'm not dead."

I exhaled sharply and turned my back to him. Sometimes he makes me so mad, I could scream.

* * *

_I know I promised a longer chapter, but I needed to get the short misadventures out of the way._


	39. There Comes a Time

There comes a time in every man's life when his fears that he has hidden for so very long comes back to haunt him. There are two types of hidden fears. One fear everyone knows but you don't know that they do and the other is that no one knows, forgot or doesn't care. Tig was a mixture of the two. I think I remember him briefly telling me that dolls crept him out, but I didn't go into much detail. I didn't feel like I needed to know. I think he thought that he could hide behind this fear for a little bit, fate said it was time that Tig came face to face with his demons.

We walked around the mall with Dawn in her baby carriage as she pulled at tags on clothes and made cute little noises. Dawn was a curious little thing, and I sort of enjoyed her annoy the employees by ripping off the clothes tags. We spent the whole day shopping for clothes. Mostly for me and Dawn. I think Tig did get a shirt or two, but he wasn't much of a shopper. Especially when I tried things on. He sat down on the bench adjacent to the room, and waited for me to show off whatever I picked out. If he liked it, he would give a nod, if he didn't he wouldn't say anything. Half the time I think he just said he liked it so we could leave quicker. If he didn't like it there would be a debate. Dawn on the other hand was content with staring at things and playing with Tig's keys. I knew what I wanted, Tig threw down the cash and we were soared out of there to the next store, where the cycle repeated.

After going in and out of clothes, shoes, and ice cream stores (I had to get my cherry Slurpee) we finally arrived where every kid growing up wanted to be. Where all your material possessive dreams can come true. I'm speaking of course the toy store. Normally I would pick out a cute toy for Dawn. Probably something she could lay on when she was in her crib since she was too young for Barbies just yet. So I figured why not?

As we walked into the store and heard the cool gadgets flicking on and off, the bright colors all around the wall, I didn't feel Tig drag himself behind me. Instead he was outside of the toy store, with a deer in the headlights look. He looked like he was (dare I say it) frightened. I turned around, watched him stare at the sign in front of the story that read "Toy Store" in bright neon letters. I shrugged. "What?"

He looked like a scared kid stuck alone in a haunted house. He just stared amd stared. his mouth ajar. "Nothing." He said.

"So come on." I said motioning him closer.

He didn't move, or really even blink. His eyes were dead glued on the sign that said toy store. He only briefly looked away to watch the toys moving around inside. He was damn near petrified. Now this got me worried. Tig could be a real butt head sometimes but I didn't want him to be scared. He could at least tell me what's wrong. "Alex?" I asked him in a gentle voice. "You okay?"

"Uh, yeah." He lied. He tried to move forward but then took another step back. "Yeah, hey what if I give you 200 hundred dollars and I'll just wait by the food court." He didn't look at me when he talked. He just stared at what lay beyond the threshold of the toy store.

"Alex." I said, rolling the carriage back over to meet him. "There's something you're not telling me." I said, running my hands up and down his trembling ones. "What's wrong?" He didn't say so at first, he just simply stared off. It wasn't until I squeezed his hand a bit to get his attention did he pay me any mind.

"Dolls." He finally muttered.

"What about them?"

"I hate them. They just….I don't know. Creep me out."

"Why?" I asked.

He stared off in the opposite direction for a second or two, and shook his head. "I don't want to explain myself. I just fucking hate them." He said. I knew where he was coming from. Everyone has a phobia or some sort of hidden fear. I get creeped out by blood. I stood on the tips of my toes and kissed his cheek. I placed one hand on each side of his cheek and stroked my thumb up and down his tanned skin.

"Would you feel better if I hold your hand?" I asked. He frowned at me. It was like he wasn't sure if I was serious or if I was fuciking with him. Eventually he shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, okay fine." he said. I held out my hand and he took it. His hands were clammy and shaky, but I led him into the store anyway

It was awkward I'd have to admit. He's the protector of the most infamous motorcycle gang this side of California has seen since the Warlocks danced into California. He's been in God knows how many gun fights, has had probably a thousand or more fist fights and is terrifying to say the least. Yet when a doll gets shoved in his face, he's becomes a little kid. Then again he did run for the hills from a gorilla that wasn't even loose. If I didn't know better I'd say he was rather jumpy.

We walked slowly into the toy store. I held his hand with one hand and pushed the carriage with the other. We were almost into the store when he stopped. I however was still walking and he pulled me back to him. "Jesus Christ woman!" He exclaimed. "This is not a race." He took a deep breath and then after several seconds of mental preparation we crossed the threshold.

When we walked into the toy store his grip around my hand got so tight my fingers were turning numb. I nudged him a couple of times for him to loosen his grip. He did for only a little bit then he returned back to crushing what bones were left in my hand. I don't think we'd been in there more than five minutes before he gave up. He was sweating bullets, was deathly pale and looked like he was going to faint right in front of everyone. He let go of my hand and reached into his pocket, shoved a bunch of hundreds at me and practically ran out of the store.

Whatever happened to him all those years ago really fucked him up.

I found him a little bit later, outside of the mall smoking a cigarette and staring off. He didn't talk much the rest of the day.

* * *

_Spring break is wonderful! I get most of the chapters cracked out. What should happen next chapter? Carnegie (the ex wife) coming back to start trouble, one of the characters go to jail, or other? _


	40. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

_Those two chapters that I was working on didn't really turn out so well. I will publish them, anyway. I just need to work on it. I got a new one for you guys though. Inspired by Gangs of New York._

* * *

"You going to have another? Really, Alex?" I asked shaking my head as I watched another beer be devoured down his throat. He was already drunk, the last thing I needed was to look after a baby and a drunken man. This was one of the few times I got out of the house and away from the kid because Mama decided that I needed the time away. I don't know how she was going to do it all and still have time to take Iggy out for his walk but she managed to do it all. My mom was a regular Wonder Woman, that was for sure. God bless her, she'll need it.

"You should lighten up and have one." Tig said, putting his beer down and shoving one to my lips. I pushed the beer away and shook my head. "Nope. Not tonight. Maybe next time."

"Poop." he said, taking back my would be beer and drinking that.

"Poop?" I questioned, with a laugh.

"Yep." He finished that beer and burped. "Awesome!" He looked around for someone to find another beer, but came up short. "Shit. There's no more?" he asked and I shook my head. "Nope. You drank it all you son of a bitch."

Tig got up and nearly stumbled over the table in front of him. "I'm going to get some. Okay? Don't move!" he ordered as he stumbled up to the bar and got another beer. I really thought he had enough but it was a party and what kind of party would it be if they didn't get shit faced, right? I'm kinda glad I decided to sit this one out. I got to see how stupid everyone really looked. Jax almost broke his nose trying to balance a chair on it, Bobby was dancing with some girl who was already passed out, and Chibs hit his head from drinking on top of the bar. It had been quite an eventful evening. Honestly, I don't see what's so fun about getting drunk and waking up the next morning and not remember how the hell you ended up with three girls around you and a broken nose.

But like everyone said, I'm a party pooper. Which is probably why I wasn't invited to my own birthday party. I only wish I was joking.

Tig sat beside me again with three more beers. I thought he was about done, but he forced a beer into my hand. Yeah, I could finally drink beer again because I had finally weaned Dawn off of the breast milk thank god! My nipples were so chapped I could barely wear a bra. She wasn't as difficult as other babies were so hooray for that. I rolled my eyes and took the beer and had a small sip. A gulp or a sip, he didn't know the difference. He was too drunk to really care.

I placed my legs on top of his and we both leaned back and listened to the music in the background and indulged a bit. We haven't relaxed since Dawn was born and it was time we enjoyed it before we had to go home. I closed my eyes only briefly when I felt something not quite right. Just a sinking feeling at the pit of of my stomach. Normally my intuition was normally pretty sharp and I could feel something stirring in the air. I just wasn't sure what.

I opened my eyes and looked around to the room to check for something intriguing to catch my attention. I took me a little bit before I saw a Mexican man whom I didn't recognize making his way through the crowd of people towards what I believed to be us. I frowned at first and watched him carefully. He was shaking, and sweating profusely. Now that doesn't seem right.

I looked for Clay, or the others to check this guy out and make sure he wasn't sick or something, but I saw no one who could help or was even paying attention. Just half naked sweet butts and drunken grown men behaving like frat boys. I didn't have a weapon or anything. I tried to rationalize he was looking for someone to give him his pay for working on the garden or something-. Then it hit me! We don't have a garden. This is a motorcycle clubhouse, why would they have a garden? The next question was why was he here? What did he want?

Then I saw him pull out a fucking gun from his plaid jacket and was about to take aim. I was frozen solid, I didn't know what to do. "Tig?" I said, which seemed like the only logical thing to do at that point. He looked up and saw the Mexican man armed and ready. His expression changed from total relaxation, to dazed and confused in a matter of seconds.

"Shit." he said.

The man aimed the gun towards Tig and I reacted the only way I knew how. "Get down!" I yelled as I pushed Tig as hard as I could out the way, landing hard on the floor, face first. Then I heard a loud BANG.

Then another BANG, BANG, BANG. There was dead silence and a scream before I heard another bang come another few seconds later, then a body dropped. The last bang wasn't as loud as the others but still loud enough. Everything seem to move in slow motion. I couldn't hear anything and my head was spinning. Then it hit me.

How was Tig? Was he hit, and if so where? Was he dead?

Tig was crumpled on the couch, gasping. Anna Mae rushed over to check me out. "You okay?" she asked frantically, looking into my eyes and around my body. I nodded and she propped me up so she could check Tig. Tears were coming to my eyes. "Shit, is he okay?" I asked, but no one replied.

Anna Mae nodded. "I think so. He's just in shock." Wgen I turned to look at him, I saw a glimpse of blood on his arm. "Can you hear me?" Anna Mae asked, snapping her fingers. Tig nodded and looked at his arm. I couldn't tell if he was hit badly or just grazed. Tig's nostrils flared and he grabbed his arm and gave the most piercing scream. Not like a girly scream but more like the scream of a warrior when war has been declared.

He picked himself up from the couch and looked at the Mexican man who was on the floor of the clubhouse, muttering in Spanish to himself, holding his side and gasping for air. Tig walked over to the Mexican and stepped on his stomach. The Mexican cried in pain and spat up blood. Tig got down on one knee and grabbed him by his collar and pulled him up to face him.

"You fucking wetback!" he growled. "Who the hell are you working for?!" The man looked at him but he continued his muttering in Spanish with a rosary in his shaking bloody hands. "Speak up and speak clear." When he couldn't figure out what he was saying, Tig turned to me. "Apples, what is he saying?" I tried to make out the best I could but all I heard was "Heavenly mother" and "Forgive me, for I have sinned."

"Uh," I said still trying to piece his muffled words together. "He's...making his peace with God I think."

"Fuck that!" Tig yelled knocking the rosary out of his hands. "You make your peace with me, you fucking understand that?!"

The Mexican was shot once maybe twice, judging from the blood stained holes in his white shirt. He was still muttering in Spanish, and pushed Tig too far off the edge. He must've had something going on in his head because before I knew it Tig head butted the Mexican, which made the Spanish words grow more intense, and he head butted him over and over until it finally stopped. Tig's head was covered in the blood of the Mexican and the poor Mexican's face was nearly unrecognizable. Tig pulled out his knife that he kept around his waist. "Speak English motherfucker, we speak English in this goddamn country ya filthy fucking bean nigger!" Then the Mexican suddenly stopped moving, and the life that was once in him was drained from his body. Those wounds must've been more fatal than one thought. Tig slammed his would be killers back on the floor and rested back on the couch. "That didn't help at all." he muttered.

I was still in shock. I never really saw anyone die before, which freaked me out the most and what really took the cake was that Tig and I were almost killed. If I hadn't reacted Tig or myself could be dead. My heart was still racing and my attention was totally on the dead Mexican in front of me. I didn't even feel Anna Mae try to help me up from the ground and took me to Tig's room in the back of the clubhouse. I still didn't move or rather even say much after that, I couldn't really think or say anything, until I felt my eyes start to burn. Soon I felt tears just start to fall down my face and into my lap and before I knew it I couldn't stop crying my eyes out. I felt the comforting arm of Anna Mae around me as kissed my cheek. "It's okay." she said, running her hands up and down my hair.

His words were so sharp it could cut like a knife. I never heard him say slurs like that in front of me, well at least the ones that I was categorized in. Every once in awhile he would let one slip, but it wasn't like what he had just done. I knew I shouldn't take it to heart and move on, but my family, friends and neighbors on my block were called different slurs by all the white kids who would pass by when something wouldn't go there way. Of course we'd get them back one way or another, but it still hurt to be called that.

The slurs just seemed to run around in my head, along with the fact that I just saw my old man go into a murderous rage and beat the living shit out of a man with his head. My thoughts trailed me off to a sleep, in a way. I was aware of what was going on around me but it was a mix of reality and dream land. It wasn't until I felt someone shake me a little and say in a groggy voice.

"Hey! Apples." I opened one eye to see a blanket covering everything except my head and Anna Mae sleeping under it beside me. Tig was sitting in his easy chair adjacent to the bed. I sat up and rubbed under my eyes. Tig was shirtless except for his cut around him, and had a bloody bandage on his arm right under his reaper tattoo. The blood that once covered his head was washed away, but I could still see a little around his neck and in his hair.

"They get the slug out?" I asked, wiping my eyes and leaving black make up stains on my hands. I wrapped my arms around my legs. He shook his head and cleared his throat.

"It just grazed me." Tig said. He was silent for a few seconds and said. "I've cheated death too many times. I think I'm running out of lives." He smiled weakly and continued. "When that piece of shit came at me I thought I wasn't going to have time to react to save you. You didn't deserve that. Last time I had a old lady with me in a dangerous situation she slide into oncoming traffic on the I-5. That was before I got patched in. I was too drunk and I had to lay my bike down and before I knew it she was gone. She was pregnant too."

I leaned my back against the headboard and listened. When he spoke of her it looked like he was swallowing a melon whole. It hurt for him to talk about her. I never heard him talk about her before, in fact I didn't know he had a old lady before me. At least one that had the same status as me. He looked at the floor and shook his head. "Maybe it's the pain meds and I don't even half know what I'm talking about but the point I'm trying to make is that I didn't want him to hurt you. I rather it be me than you any day, you know? Hell, I would do this over and over if it meant that you didn't get hurt. You're too good of a person. All the shit I said wasn't toward you. You and him is a different story. What was he? A immigrant fresh from where he was from. That's it, he was a nobody, but you, you're something else. You got a spark in you and I like it. Not like those girls." He pointed his thumb to the club door, where I'm sure all the sweetbutts were recovering.

"They're sheeps. If I tell them to jump they'll say how high, if I tell them ram their heads through a window before I'm done the sentence they already have a running start. They got no character or dignity. That's why you're here and not like them. Hopping from one guy to the next. I mean if it weren't for you I'd probably be dead. Never had my life saved by a woman before. And you especially got balls for pushing me out the way. I owe you one kid." He got up stiffly and walked toward me and held my hand in his and kissed it. That was his way of saying thank you.

I smiled at him and kissed his hands as well. For a moment our hands were linked together as we stared into each others eyes. At the same time we both finally let go as much as I didn't want him to. I sighed as he started to walk out the room, when he stopped and stared at Anna Mae who was still sleeping soundly. "Is there something going on I don't know about?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Nope."

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Because I wouldn't mind if we-."

"No threesome!" I said rolling my eyes and putting my hands behind my head. Tig sighed. "Come on, my arm hurts. It will really help it."

"How?"

"It just will. You have to trust me on this."

"No threesome, sorry."

Tig shook his head and walked out the door but said as he was leaving. "You'll give in eventually."

I couldn't help but laugh at that one.


	41. That's a Secret

_School is almost over! Which means more chapters! :]_

* * *

I pushed Dawn's carriage through the park and looked up at the trees. The sunlight was peaking through the multi-colored leaves. The air was crisp and the temperature was just about even. Enough to give me some color other than that pale look. I like it when I have color. Tig was beside me, one of his hands by his side and the other around my waist. We had been cooped up in the house for so long, it was nice to have some fresh air, especially crisp autumn air. Dawn seemed to be intrigued by the different color leaves. She was staring at them, blue eyes stuck to her first glance of the changing seasons. She reached her hands out to grab them and came out with nothing. I chuckled and rubbed her belly before looking back to what's in front of me.

"Pretty day." I said, pushing my sunglasses at the bridge of my nose.

"Yeah." Tig agreed. He looked down at my new jeans that I got. They were very comfortable and quite form fitting. I could wear it now, after doing a couple sexy dancing and yoga tapes. Of course along with my eighties workout video. "You look really, really good in those jeans Apples."

"I ordered them from a magazine." I said with a smile. He kept staring at how it made my butt looked in them and I hit his arm. "Stop it." Of course he didn't. Pervert! "I'll smack you." I warned.

"Oh," Tig said with mischievous grin on his face. "I like it rough."

I know he does.

"Gross." I said, peaking in on Dawn who was now fascinated by her Piglet stuffed animal that I had just washed. Long story short Tig accidentally knocked it into the toilet. Why? Because he's a dumbass. Now Dawn was putting her mouth on his little hand. If you could call it a hand. I didn't have my morning coffee because Tig forgot to make it, so I was pretty tired. I let out a long yawn. "Oh I tried a new perfume and you didn't even notice it." I said, holding out my neck to him.

"Yeah I did." he lied, staring at a couple who was staring back at him because of the cut on his back. He glared and their stares finally ceased. I didn't mind the stares but it seemed to bother Tig that those motherfuckers weren't giving us the respect we deserved. "It's a fruity scent. I like it. Did you see those fucking assholes?" Of course he went right back from my new perfume to his paranoia.

"Language!" I exclaimed. "And yes I did. Just ignore them."

"They were fucking-."

"Stop cussing!"

"They were _freaking_ staring at us for no reason."

I shrugged. "Let them stare. They're just jealous." I finally came to a stop at a nearby bench. It was Dawn's feeding time. "Ready to eat?" I asked into the carriage and Dawn smiled.

"How do you know when she's hungry?" Tig asked.

"Because she keeps licking her lips and staring at my chest." I said picking her out of the carriage, as I took out her milk bottle. "You going to smoke a cigar or something?"

"Yeah. I"ll be over there." he said pointing to a nearby bench not too far away, but far enough so Dawn wouldn't be effected by the smoke. I nodded and gave Dawn her bottle and hummed to her. I liked her hair with the little blue bow in it. She looked so adorable. Those clothes Charlotte bought us were a life saver, but the cute thing is she won't stop. Whenever she sees something she picks it up. Even though Dawn would only fit them for a couple of months. I didn't mind though. My baby had to look fashionable.

As I rocked Dawn and fed her I saw a familiar face walking through the park. He seemed pretty aimless, even though I knew he wasn't alone. He was wearing a purple dress shirt, nice jeans and new sneakers. He was well dressed as always. Even as a young teenager he never looked scruffy or dirty. He always looked clean. I pushed my sunglasses to the bridge of my nose again and said. "Hey Laroy." He turned around to see the source of his name when he spotted me. I waved at him. He smiled and shook his head.

"Well, ain't it little Tink." He walked over to me and sat beside me on the bench. "Long time no see, Apples."

"I know. You still live in the old neighborhood?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Word on the street is that you got yourself a Son."

"Yep." I said nodding. "He's this ones father." I said showing Dawn's face.

"Oh really?" he said looking at Dawn and smiling. "Hey cutie." Dawn pushed the bottle from her mouth to look at him and smiled her goofy smile. "Say hi." I said. Dawn only smiled and returned back to her bottle. "She looks like you." Laroy stated. "Except for the eyes." I nodded in agreement.

Alright, I bet you're wondering how do I know the leader for the One Niners. Well my dear friends it's a not so complicated story. A time not so long ago I lived in Oakland. He lived on the street opposite of mine and he was one of my close friends ever since we were five. He was the first guy who taught me how to fight dirty, taught me how to hustle and who taught me how to hot wire a car. Don't get too excited we were sixteen by then. In high school when the guys used to taunt me about being Puerto Rica or hit on me Laroy was like my Superman. Only in a gang, scary and black.

He would get each and every single one of them. Hell, by the time high school was finished everyone was too scared of Laroy to even look at me. Especially the white boys. When my senior prom date stood me up guess who took me (then tagged his car)?

Laroy.

My mom has the pictures to prove it. (Which gives everyone a chance to make fun of my awesome late 80's grunge kid hair.)

"You happy, Tink?" he asked, giving me one of those looks like he could see through me if I tried to lie. I nodded and smiled. "The happiest. I got my daughter, and I'm living a wonderful life. What more could anyone ask?"

Laroy nodded. "He ain't hittin' you right?" Ah, straight to business.

I shook my head violently making my dangle earrings cling together. "Nope."

"He better not." Laroy said. I hit his arm and sucked my teeth. "I mean it. He touches you, tell me. I don't care if he's a Son or not. I'll kick his ass."

"Language." I said, but I knew Dawn wasn't paying attention. It was like white noise to her. "Sorry." he said. "But you hear what I'm sayin'?"

"I know Laroy." I said. "But you have nothing to worry about."

"Alright." he said. He looked back up, to see one of his boys motioning for him to leave. "Hey I gotta go. Holla' at me sometime, okay?"

"Yes sir." I said, rocking Dawn. He smiled at me one last time and walked away. It was no secret. He always liked me. Like Forrest Gump and Jenny, we were that close once upon a time. However, we got even closer than friends once and once only. Senior prom night, after we got done dancing and making fun of the other kids what we did would remain a secret. We decided not to talk about what happen, it was best left that way. We both were curious and we wanted to try it, but we found out we were better off as friends.

Tig walked back as Laroy was walking away. He nodded at him and Tig barely even acknowledged his nod. Just as I put Dawn back in her carriage I felt the wrath of Tig. "What the hell was that?" he snapped.

"What?"

"That!"

"I was just putting Dawn away-."

"Don't play dumb with me Apples." Tig said pointing at Laroy's back. "Him. What the fuck? You talking to the Niners now?" He was really seething with anger, I would have been slightly frightened if I had only cared what he was talking about.

"Huh?" I said. "That's Laroy. He's the kid I knew back in the old neighborhood. We were friends in high school."

Tig's fist clenched. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Yeah." I said, shrugging. "Why? What's the big deal? And stop cussing!"

Tig looked on the verge of a heart attack. His eyes were a fierce blue, and his fist were shaking. "You mean to tell me. You've got connections to the Mayans _and_the Niners?" I blinked several times. I never really looked at it that way. I placed one hand on my hip and the other to my chin and stroked my invisible beard.

"You know." I said. "I never looked at it that way."

"When were you going to tell me this?" Tig asked.

I shrugged. "When were you going to ask?" I rolled my eyes and pushed my sunglasses up again. "Look, Tig. I grew up in Oakland. I moved here fairly recently. I don't make a list of who I associate myself with. I don't care what they do on the side. That's their bed, they should lie in it. In the mean time I'm just a friend. Alright?"

Tig didn't seem to be satisfied. "Did you guys date?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

"Fuck buddies?"

"Nope."

"One night stand?"

That's a secret. Like the sore of a whore. "Nope." I lied, and straight to his face and looking into his eyes. That isn't a easy thing to do so it's no small accomplishment.

"I'll show you mine, you show me yours?"

"Nope." I said shaking my head. "We were just friends. Haven't you had a friend that you didn't have sex with?"

Tig cocked his head to the side and then eventually nodded. "Yeah. Clay and the others."

"No I meant a female friend."

Tig thought about it for a second, like I asked him to translate a big ass mathematical equation. I pushed Dawn's carriage and shook my head. "Just forget it." I said pushing Dawn. I sighed and started talking to her. "Don't you be in a rush to grow up. Then you'll realize how much of a pig your dad really is."

Tig slapped my ass hard. Hard enough to make me jump and squeal like a pig. "I hate you." I said rubbing my butt and glaring at him.


	42. Old Blue Eyes

_Special __thanks__ to kvsgrl for this chapter. :) Check out her stories NOW! But not before you review this one._

_-Val_

* * *

"Hand me the hot sauce." I asked extending my hand towards Charlotte. She handed me the hot sauce and I dipped a little on the Cajun chicken that I had prepared. Charlotte sniffed it lightly and smiled like she was in heaven or if a good looking man walked into the room but I guess that could be considered heaven as well. "It's smells delicious." she said, returning to cutting the tomatoes for the salad. "The Lord truly blessed you with a gift Apples." she added, adding the now freshly cut tomatoes into the large bowel of already chopped lettuce and cucumbers. "When are you getting that restaurant of yours?"

There it was. The reminder of what I had not accomplished. Tig said that once we got our lives settled he'd put a down payment on my restaurant. Well that was before I got pregnant with Dawn. I loved her but she technically ruined it for me. I know she never asked to be born, and she is one hundred percent innnocent, but it did get me down that I had a kid probably too young. My dreams had to wait unfortunately I couldn't handle a restaurant and a baby. I want to be there for her, not drop her off with some nanny and have her raise her. I want my baby to run to me and Tig during Christmas time to open presents not to some wretched au pair that we hired.

"I-." I hesitated. "I don't know."

Charlotte cocked her head to the side. "Why not darling?" she asked. She looked at Dawn wiping her carrot baby food all over her high chair and giggling. "Ah, I see." she replied. "I know what you mean." She pushed a black strand of hair out her way and continued to put more tomatoes into the salad. "When I was your age, I was a model in the making. I always wanted to be one since I was a little girl. I figured I might as well I couldn't dance like Ginger Rodgers so I would make my money doing what I do best. I already had a few gigs, got in some magazines, was invited to a few celebrity parties, and I was even propositioned by Frank Sinatra himself." She winked when she said that.

"Really?" I asked amazed.

Charlotte nodded. "He asked me to come up to his room with him, but I was too shy. Now I regret it."

"I bet." I said with a smile.

"I was on my way to the top then I met a handsome man at that party and walked on the beach with him until we both made love on that sandy beach. I spent the next day shaking the sand out of dress."

"You grabbed yourself a actor?" I asked with an eyebrow raised. Anna Mae who was watching TV at the time now was spellbound by her story.

Charlotte frowned and shook her head. "No. I found Alex's father. He was the only person who wasn't drunk at the end of that party."

"He was an actor?" Anna Mae asked with her hand under her chin. She seemed more confused that the offspring of an actor could become a Son.

"No he was one of the waiters. He got kicked out for trying to actually relieve himself in the peeing angel punch bowel."

"And you fell for him?" I asked. Well, that explains where Tig gets his nerve.

"Not really." she said. "But it was that James Dean rebellion that seemed to attract me to him. I can't explain it. We kept in touch as friends until four months later I found out I was pregnant."

"Oh." Anna Mae replied until she finally had the balls to say what she was truly thinking. I couldn't lie I was thinking the same thing. "So wait let me get this straight. You had a room full of famous people around you, Frank Sinatra propositioned you to spend some private time with you and you go after that loser?"

Charlotte nodded. "This is a lesson kids. Youth makes you a idiot and life just isn't fair. I could've had Frank Sinatra's kid and been living large and not have to deal with this MC crap." We all started chuckling about it. Charlotte didn't seem really so much phased by her misfortune but then again after 30 plus years you should be a little over it. If not welcome to America, the land of grudges and broken dreams. "Oh well, I still love my son. Everything happens for a reason right?" She sighed and ate a tomato out of the salad bowel. She finished eating the red tomato and replied. "Never give up on your dreams but always mind your priorities girls."

I nodded, but Anna Mae seemed perplexed. "Really?" Charlotte nodded. "So I could be a psychologist?"

Charlotte walked up to her and tapped her on the hand. "Believe me. If you want to achieve it you can do it. You don't want to do....whatever you're doing for the rest of your life right?"

Anna Mae shook her head. "No ma'am."

"Then do it." Charlotte smiled. Damn she truly should've gotten into inspirational speaking. Maybe there wouldn't be so many low lives in Charming. Then she would get the Nobel Prize for miracles!

I walked out of the kitchen to peer out the window to the door and I still saw no Tig anywhere. He was suppose to join us for dinner about an hour or more ago. My mind was racing and my patience was decreasing by the second. Where the hell is he? After nearly getting killed by the Mexican he had been more than distant with me. He was staying out later, and was extremely paranoid. He would stay up nights and pace around like he was waiting for the Gestapo to knock down the door and kill. Plus he was drinking and doing more drugs. Charming doesn't even sell the dope he's doing. I only hoped he wasn't going to come home high off his rocker again.

"How about I help you with something." Anna Me asked me. My attention was on Tig and I didn't even hear the question. In fact I think I did hear the question but I was too worried about my old man to actually respond to it. It's a brain fart I suppose. "Apples?"

"Huh?"

"Do you need help with something?" she asked again. I shook my head. "Everything is ready darling. You just relax." I patted her on the back and she smiled at me. I think she could understand where my attention was drifting off to. Sometimes that man just drives me up the goddamn wall.

"Well like they say in Italy, '_Troppi cuochi guastano la cucina'._" Charlotte responded back, leaning on the kitchen counter.

"I had no idea you spoke Italian." I said, putting out the silverware and kissing Dawn on the cheek while also getting a good taste of carrot baby food shit. Ick. "What does that mean?"

"It means too many cooks spoil the broth. In other words don't touch it Anna, dear." Anna Mae chuckled and responded back in Italian. "_That's a lovely saying_."

Like I said before Anna Mae is a smart girl. In fact too smart for this close minded, hickville town. She learned to speak Italian and French on her own because in her words 'she was bored'. At one point she wanted to be an interpeter for the United Nations. I tell her every chance I get she should go back to college but she doesn't want to. I'm sure she doesn't want to be a fuck doll for the Sons for the rest of her life. As for me I speak Spanish and Spanish is very close to Italian minus a few pronouciations so I was slowly starting to get the hang of what they were saying. No wonder Mama could get around Little Italy with no problem.

"_We should just keep talking like this_." I responded back to them. They both laughed and we all started conversing in Italian (well as close to Italian as I can get). We were having fun setting the table, cracking jokes, and talking to Dawn in Italian. All that fun was sorely ruined when I heard the front door fly open and bang against the umbrella wrack.

"Jesus!" I cried out and rushed to see who it was. I normally don't run to a site of trouble but I had a feeling it was one person. Of course it was Tig, except he didn't look like himself. His hands were shaking like he could barely control himself and his pupils were dilated. Shit he was high again.

"Uh, hey baby." I said, hoping that at least he'd be on pot and not on anything too hard. It was one thing to do that with the Sons but not with our kid around. "Are you okay?" That was a debateable question. I should've defined 'okay'. Maybe if I said "Are you NOT high?" or "Hey, please tell me you were kidding when you barged in here like a manic." Well you get my point.

"I'm fine." he snapped, and walked closer to me. "Lets go fuck somewhere." I was horribly taken off guard. I mean horribly! When someone asks you a question like that, that abruptly. What can you say? Everything you say either suggest that you want to have sex with them and the other makes you seem like a jackass.

"Dear we have a dinner ready. We were waiting-." He pushed me aside to go to the kitchen and didn't acknowledge Anna Mae, better yet his own mother. Fuck, he drove me up the wall sometimes.

"Alex?" Charlotte asked after a few seconds after he ignored her.

"What?" he snapped not even looking at her. Charlotte looked puzzled at her irrational behavior. Normally he would have a reason to snap at someone. Anna Mae tried her best to comfort Charlotte and whispered to her in Italian. "_He's high again, don't get too upset. He's been going through a lot lately_."

"What did you say?" Tig snapped yet again. Oh shit.

"_I know darling_." Charlotte said looking at her hands on the table, perhaps trying to ignore the fact that her son was doing drugs. "_It's alright. I'll be fine_."

"What the fuck are you saying?" Tig asked, again getting more annoyed by ever milisecond.

"It's Italian." I replied, touching his shoulder trying to be a comforting old lady. Instead of returning my warm gesture with another one of his own he pushed me away from him. "I know that Apples! But I'm asking her what is she saying to my fucking mother!" Anna Mae was trying to hold back how truly frightened she was and so was Charlotte. I couldn't blame her. He was starting to scare me too.

"I'm not saying anything against you." Anna Mae replied.

"She just-." I started before he cut me off. The whites of his blue eyes were red and his pupils were so dilated that I could barely see the blue in his eyes. "Apples, was I talking to you?" he said in a eerily calm voice. Okay that really set me off. What type of fucking asshole does he think he is that he can tell me when I can and cannot talk.

"I don't give a shit who _you_ were talking to!" I screamed. "You don't talk to me like I'm a goddamn child you fucking asshole!"

"You better watch your fucking attitude!"

"You watch yours!" I know he was about ready to hit me as hard as he could, and I was ready to do whatever I had to do to defend myself. He must've beaten the shit out of whoever crossed his path but I was ready for it. In other words I was going to be made a victim because there is no way in fuck I could win.

"Alexander!" Charlotte exclaimed slamming her fist on the table. "Would you please try and act like a human being? Please! We were having a little fun by speaking Italian, there's no need to have such a huge fuss about it."

"When did you get high and mighty out of the clear blue sky?" Tig said turning to her. This took Charlotte off guard. "You fucking bitches think that just because you speak a different language you're any better than me?"

"Who said that we did?" Anna Mae asked trying to stand up to him.

"I don't know who the fuck you think you're talking to!"

"Just go upstairs, Alex! Now!" Charlotte yelled, back at him.

"Bitch," Now that put a chill through my spine. Charlotte looked even more stunned than I or Anna Mae "Why the fuck are you even here? You ain't shit you fucking cunt! I'm staying right fucking here. I never abandoned my kid you up tight slut! You're so fucking worthless, your own goddamn parents didn't want you!"

Charlotte eyes were almost filled with tears. She looked in his eyes for some sort of hope that he didn't mean it but she couldn't find any. She silently stood up from her chair, picked up Dawn and walked uout of the kitchen. "Where the fuck are you going with my kid?" The look on Dawn's face was a mixture of confusion and fear. She looked from her grandmother to her father, normally when I try to take Dawn away from Tig for a nap she always fusses but now she wasn't. She was a smart girl, I know she sensed what was going on.

"She doesn't need to hear the filth coming out of your mouth." Charlotte replied trying to hold back the hurt in her voice. He was about to run up to her but I grabbed him by the arm and pulled all my weight to keep him from doing what he was going to do. "What the hell are you on?! You didn't have to say that!" He pulled me off of him, and grabbed my by the back of the neck and slammed me against a nearby wall.

"Don't you even think about defending her you worthless midget bitch. You both are alike in every single goddamn way. You trap a man into marrying you by getting knocked up because you're too ugly and stupid to get a man any other way." Now I was livid.

I rammed my knee between his legs hard and shoved him back. He was bent over in pain but he was trying to cover it up. Now he was angry. "Fuck you!" He started chuckling through his pain. "Gonna hit me Apples? Go on!"

"I want to kill you!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "You ruined everything for me!" Anna Mae pushed me along from him but I was still yelling over his shoulder. "YOU WANT TO FUCK ME UP ASSHOLE?! I'LL BEAT YOUR GODDAMN HEAD IN!"

"No Anna Mae let her come at me so I can throw her the fuck down."

"Just leave her alone! Why are you so mean?" Anna Mae yelled still trying to hold me back still and pushing me away from him too.

"Do as your told Anna Mae and let her go. It's funny how you really fucking think you can amount to something. Drop the college dreams sweetheart and bend your ass over like you did for me last night. Tie that mattress to your back and do what you're good at!"

My heart was officially broken. I stopped fighting and stared at Anna Mae. She shook her head, blonde hair falling in her eyes and mouth. "Apples, I didn't. I swear to God. He's doing it to make you mad." I didn't want to look at her and I didn't care if it was the truth or not.

"Fuck you." I said in a weak voice. "That's it! I'm done, Alex! You hear me?! Done! I'm taking Dawn and we're leaving Charming! She won't even know your goddamn name!" Oh now that was the wrong thing to say. I could leave him all I wanted, but I should've never brought Dawn into it.

"Oh, you just try. I'll kill you before you take my daughter!" I screamed at me, his face turning a beet red.

"She's my daughter, fuckhead! I gave birth to her! She's mine!"

"You think I'm playing with you bitch?" he said taking a goddamn gun out and pointing it at me. "How much you want to bet that I won't put a bullet in your fucking head."

"Do it." I said, my lips trembling as I spoke the defiant words. I wanted him to kill me because that was the only way he would get my child. Yes I said it, my child. We both stared each other trying not to break the stare. "Well?"

He put his gun away after awhile and smirked at me. I was relieved, as I saw him walking backwards, his eyes were still fixed on me. The first thing he grabbed was a small but just as heavy cup that had it's handle broken off. I left it there so I could fix it. He threw it in my direction but missed totally. I closed my eyes waiting for the cup to clash with my head but instead I heard a loud thud and someone fall to the floor. Shit. Fucking Anna Mae got in the way.

"What's wrong with you!" I yelled at him and looked to see how badly she was hurt. "Anna! Anna! Wake the hellup!" She had a large knot on her forehead. Her eyes were cocked and she had a goofy smile on her face. "Mommy? Mommy is that you? I'm coming home!" Then she closed her eyes. She was knocked out cold.

I saw from the window the flash of blue and red lights coming closer and closer to our house. I held Anna Mae's head in my lap and waited for them to come. I was already crying. Not because of the cops I had dealt with them before but I was more worried about my marriage. I wanted Dawn to have a father like I did, but not like this.

"I hate you." I said under my breath, as I stroked Anna Mae's hair.

* * *

_I wanted to show an ugly side of Tig. We all know he's human, he's not totally sweet but not totally insane. Oh by the way he's on speed which causes the user to become to undergo psychosis. Where they feel they're superior to others. These people are known as "speed freaks" and were feared because of their odd behaviors and delusions.  
Hoped you liked. (This isn't one of my favorites but oh well.) _


	43. Crying

They arrested us both because they couldn't get a clear side of the story. If they figured out Tig was under the influence they could get him for that. The only thing that seperated him from making his own version of Shawshank Redemption was Unser. God bless him I suppose. The Sons would be beyond pissed if they thought I was going to press charges against him. I wasn't but it was worth the suspense to keep them waiting.

Anna Mae had to go to the hospital, because she had a mild concussion. Poor thing. I did feel sorry that she had a knot on her forehead the size of Guam, but I still couldn't get out of my head that Anna Mae slept with my old man. Now I didn't know who to trust. The only person in my corner now was my mine and Tig's mother who called the police. I was worried Tig would've killed someone and worst of all hurt Dawn in the process of trying to hurt his mother.

The jail cell was cold and it smelled like shit, but at the time I didn't care. The bruises on my arm were hurting like hell and my head was spinning. And on top of that the cops wouldn't let me grab my make up bag so I couldn't fix my make up. What was left of my make up was running and my nail was chipped trying to get away from Anna Mae so I could kick his ass.

I never hated him as much as I did now. If I could have him dead, buried and in a wooden coat with zero consequences believe me I would! My tears were stinging my goddamn eyes, but I couldn't cry. I wanted to leave but where did I have to hide? The Sons and their goons were everywhere. I could probably hide with Laroy if need be. Sons wouldn't be caught dead on Niner territory for war. But I didn't want to be considered the next Helen of Troy.

Well I guess Dawn would be considered Helen. No, the whole idea is just stupid. Laroy would find a place for me and Dawn with no problem but how would that look if I ran back to the guy that I "didn't sleep with" the minute that something went wrong. That's like claiming you lost weight but you're wearing a dress that's two sizes too small. Well it didn't really matter I suppose he doesn't give a damn about me. I didn't give a damn about him anymore. I hated him. He made me sick! He made everything sickening! But damn did I miss him. I heard heels making it's way toward me, but I didn't want it to be for me. I needed time to think. I was almost sickened when the heel clicking stopped.

"You okay, kid?" I heard a familiar voice say in the background. I stared at the gray wall of my cell trying my best to ignore the voice in my prescence but it did no good. She wasn't going to give up until she had her say.

Fucking Gemma.

"Yeah?" I said holding my head looking up to the ceiling to keep the tears from falling down my face. I wondered what Amazonian woman wanted, but in reality I did know. She was going to convince me to keep loyal to the club despite my dispositon.

"Are you alright, sweet pea?" she asked in a nurturing voice.

"Uh huh." I replied still staring up at the ceiling.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Well I bought you some coffee."

"Thank you." After several seconds of me not doing anything Gemma's patience was decreasing. I didn't care. Why should I care? What is she going to do? Step on me? No I take that, it seems like it would hurt.

"Are you going to take it or count the cracks in the ceiling?" she asked. I took the coffee and then stared back up at the ceiling. Then I took her advice and started counting the cracks of the discolored pain

_One, two, three..._

"I know what happened."

_Five, six, seven...._

"Tig hasn't been himself lately, baby. This shit with the club and nearly getting killed it has really played with him."

_All good girls go to heaven..._

"I'm not making excuses for him. He was on speed or something you know what I mean? I know you're upset but you can't do what we hope you're not going to do. I've been through it with two husbands. Awful shit."

_Nine, ten, eleven..._

"You know what I mean right baby girl?"

_Prick your finger it is done, the moon has now eclipsed the sun...._

"I'll be frank. We don't want you to press charges."

_The angel has spread it's wings, the time has come for better things...._

"We hope you won't."

_The time has come for better things._

"Lets just cut the shit Gem." I said, turning to her finally. "He was the one who flipped shit on me, nearly killed me and I'm suppose to feel sorry for him? I don't give a shit about him anymore he's dead to me." It hurt to say those words but my empathy was down to a negative eighty.

"I understand your anger. I really do. But the life takes it toll on-."

"Gemma I really don't need to hear this shit right now. Talk to me later or something." I snapped.

"Right. You need some time. I'll be back." Gemma said. I knew she only meant a few hours, but I didn't care.

_Time has come for better things._

_

* * *

_I walked back into my already damaged house after I got my story cleared with Unser. I didn't say a thing to convict him nor to defend him. I said absolutely nothing. Quite frankly I'm getting tired of saying nothing. Half the time I wish I could say something. Like how much of a moron I think he is or how much I hate him. When you're talking to other old ladies they don't listen to the problem, because the answer is always the same. "Well this life takes it's toll on you." Does that give them a right to treat me however they want? As I was fuming in my head, Iggy heard me come through the door and greeted me by placing his nose in my crotch.

"What do you want?" I asked him. This wasn't a good time for him to see me. I was too pissed off for words.

"I'm not staying long I got to pick up Dawn." Iggy whined and looked up at me with sad eyes. "No, never again am I letting you in a moving car. After you freaked out and farted with closed windows, I will never take you in a moving car. Speaking of which where were you when Daddy went off the handles?" He stared blankly up at me. "Hmm? Nothing to say? I know Charlotte doesn't like big dogs around her, but you couldn't bark or anything?"

Iggy rested his body on the ground and put his head on top of his paws. "Don't give me that look Iggy Stardust!" I snapped. I really must've been mad, I was getting pissed off at a damn dog. He wasn't the smartest bulb in the tanning bed and definately not the most courageous but he couldn't just bark to say he tried? Dumb dog. "What if Dawn was stuck in a well? What would you do? Hide under the laundry basket like you always do?"

Iggy pretended to be listening but he was off in his own world. I sighed and grabbed my car keys. "I can't even look at you right now! I'm so pissed off!" I yelled into the air, and walked out the front door slamming it shut. I knew I shouldn't have yelled at Iggy, he was a cowardly dog. I knew it before I even got him home, but I got my karma for it. As I walked down the driveway I nearly tripped on the water hose that Tig probably left out a couple days ago.

"Fuck!" I screamed kicking at it, which wasn't very effective but it felt good to dig the back of my foot into the hose. I rushed to the car, threw my purse in it and took off to pick Dawn up from Mama's house. As I was driving I started to think about Charlotte. I felt more sorry for her. She didn't deserve that comment about her. The woman didn't look at anyone when she came back downstairs. She just stayed to herself like that little girl in the orphanage that was still inside of her. After the police got her story (which was once again a 'nothing story') she dropped Dawn off at my mom's and I haven't see her since. Poor thing.

By the time I got to Mama's I could tell from down the street was flaming angry. No good gesture or kind word could calm her fury. I mean given the choice between being an experiment for an atom bomb or dealing with my angry Mama, I'd choose the atom bomb. She was waiting outside on the porch, while Pipi the parrot was on her shoulder. Her arms were folded and her face was curved into a frown. She didn't get up to greet me like she usually did. If that wasn't enough to convince anyone she was angry you could see the dark auroa around her.

"What happened?" she asked as I got out the car. I needed to have some more time to think about what I was going to say, so I walked up to the porch without answering the question. "Did you hear me?" she asked raising one eyebrow.

I shook my head and gave her my best impression of a clueless face. "No ma'am." I replied. "What did you say?" Mama stared at me for a couple of seconds before repeating the question. The woman didn't give into my clueless face. Of course she wouldn't she can see through souls. "What happened?" she asked again.

"Nothing." I lied. Of course something happen but I wasn't going to tell her. She would kill Tig herself despite the consequences that she would recieve and I didn't need those fucking idiots on my case anymore. After that conversation with Gemma I was a pretty much done with the Sons and their "advice". Their whole method was "Everything you do either helps or hurts the club." I'm starting to tired of giving two shits about the club.

"Then why was Boo dropped off at my house? Hmm?"

I shrugged. "It was just a fight that got out of hand, his mom freaked out and called the cops. Nothing happened."

Mama didn't believe me. I couldn't blame her, it was a pretty sketchy story. If Dawn told me the same story if she was in my position (may she never be) I would be totally skeptical. "Bullshit." she said.

"I mean it." I repied. "That's what happened."

"People don't call the cops unless it's something serious."

"Well she did, Ma." I snapped. Normally she would've corrected me about my disrespect but I think she was too annoyed and confused to really do anything about it. At the time I didn't care at all. I just wanted my little girl and try to figure out the next step later. I don't know why, but I had a overwhelming feeling of regret. I wanted my old life back. Before I knew him and the club. Life was comfortable and serene. I could come and go when I pleased and never had to give a damn about what I wanted to say. I walked past Mama and went back into the house to my old room that she had turned into Dawn's playroom. She was in her playpin wrapped in a blanket in the middle of the floor surrounded by her toys. Precious thing must've played herself to sleep. I picked her and Piglet up and placed her baby bag on my shoulder. Mama was still outside staring up at the clouds. They were gray almost black and were large, intimidating clouds.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"It looks like it's going to rain." she commented. I nodded and sat on the porch with her, rocking the sleeping Dawn and stroking her cheek. She looked ike me when I was her age. Except for his eyes. I wish she had my eyes, so I wouldn't have to be reminded of him right now. What happened to us out of the blue? (No pun intended). We were never a lovey dovey couple. You know the ones that have to gaze into each other's eyes every twenty seconds, and celebrate everyday like they first day they realized they were in love. The ones that take romance to a whole new level of PDA, but we were never at each other's throats with such intensity.

We fuss at each other all the time but that's part of our unique bond. I never felt this depressed in my entire life. I didn't even feel like driving back home. He was probably there and if he wasn't he was on his way. Mama's attention drifted from the clouds to a black van, parked across the street from where the old voodoo lady lives. She tried to peak into the van but the windows were tinted.

"Apollonia?" she asked.

"Hmm?" I responded wrapping the blanket tighter around Dawn. It was getting chilly outside. I shrugged and turned my head towards where she was pointing. "Maybe they're lost." I responded with a shrug. It looked familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. I stared at it for quite a long time and I finally gave up. After all there are a lot of windowless trucks out here in Oakland. I must've seen the same one like it a million times.

"You think we should tell them directions?" she asked, stroking the back of her parrots neck with her index finger. It curled it's head to her and let out a small 'Awk' sound.

I sighed before responding to Mama. "Who cares?" I asked, trying to hold back tears and repress and tingling headache that was blurring my vision and making me groan on the inside. I felt horrible, like a bullemic who forgot to take a laxative. I finally realized I couldn't stay here anymore because everything reminded me too much of what used to be. I forced myself out of the the chair on the porch and down the creaky wooden steps.

"Apollonia." She said not moving from her spot. I turned around to look at her when a gust of wind hit me hard in the face. I barely even noticed it, instead I stared at Mama. She wanted me to stay at least until the dust settled but we both knew better. "Be careful." she replied. I didn't know how to take that. I wanted to run to my Mommy and cry in her arms like a little kid, but I couldn't. I sniffed and pushed back burning tears. Trying to bury the hurt was like swallowing a live rat and not showing emotion. In other words it sucked!

"You too, Madre." I replied, turning around and heading back to my car. I placed a still sleeping Dawn in her car seat and stepped into the drivers seat. I took one quick breath and started the car up, and took off out of Oakland. As I drove back home I turned on the radio to block out the deafening silence. I switched from station to station until I found a song that my dad loved. Crying by Roy Orbison. Daddy was in love with all types of music. In fact besides Cassius's rap he enjoyed almost something from every genre. Anything from classical, to jazz, to country and even some Cyndi Lauper and Madonna. The cords of the song were misty but still so fresh as I pictured my dad singing this song ot me as a kid. Picking me up into his arms and singing softly itno my ear, swaying to the music.

_'I was alright for awhile, I could smile for awhile.'_

I placed my hand under my chin and tried to block out certain memories from being played over in my scattered head. Mostly of Tig and I before all this madness started. I knew I shouldn't be so sad but no one knows the pain that I went through when he called me ugly and stupid. I kept saying "I shouldn't cry, I shouldn't cry."_ 'But I saw you last night, you held my hand so tight. As you stopped to say "hello". Oh you wished me well, you couldn't tell..' _

Oh shit. I knew what was going to happen. _'That I'd been crying over you, crying over you. Then you said so long. Left me standing all alone. Alone and crying, crying, crying, crying.' _

I felt those repressed tears work it's way up through me. One lone tears was the first to sldie down my cheek and down to my lap. Soon two then three tears came down like a waterfall. I pulled over to the side of the road and placed my head in my hands and started doing as the song said.

Crying.

_'It's hard to understand, that the touch of your hand... can start me crying.'_

I couldn't figure out why I was crying. Especially this hard. I knew it was a mixture of things. Tig, old times, being called names by my old man, the pressure of the club, broken dreams and just the suddeness of it all. Normally if someone were to come to me with the same problem I'd face their troubles with apathy. I would tell them "That's life, kiddo." But now the shoe is on the other foot and I didn't want to be strong anymore and ignorant to what my responsibilities as a old lady cost from me. It was tiring to be strong. I wanted to be crying on my dad's shoulder, or talking about it for hours with my mom.

_'I thought I was over you but it's true, so true. I love you even more than I did before. But darling what can I do? For you don't love me and I'll always be...crying over you, crying over you. Yes, now you're gone and from this moment onI'll be crying over you, crying over you.' _

As I slowly contained myself by wiping tears on my jacket sleeve and blowing my nose on a few tissues I kept in the back of the car, I started the engine back up again and headed off down the high way back to Charming.

* * *

Tig was waiting for me, when I finally got back home. He was sitting on the couch with Iggy at his feet. He looked better than he did before, but he still looked angry. I didn't want him to see that my cheeks were wet and my eyes were red. I wasn't in the mood for arguing, and I wasn't sure my heart could take much more of this. Iggy rushed after me as we headed Dawn's room. My head was down so he couldn't see how badly he hurt me.

Tig didn't say anything but I knew he was watching my every move. I put Dawn back in her crib and shooed Mrs. Puff away from my heels. Gooddamn animals were making sure I was okay, but I didn't want to be bothered. I sniffed, and wiped my dry eyes with my sleeve before I and the rest of my animal pack walked to the kitchen,

The kitchen was utter shit.

The food that I had prepared for my old man, had been tampered with by Mrs. Puff and I believe Iggy because the chicken was damn near gone and the salad was spread all around the floor. I started to throw it into one big trash bag, and muttering to myself about my stupid animals. I was almost done with the kitchen when I heard footsteps coming towards me. I didn't have to look up to know it was him. Hell we were the only two adults in the house so that was a dead give away.

"If you want to fight I'm not in the mood." I replied. He didn't say anything, but I kept moving. If I looked at him I was going to break down in tears again.

"I'm not going to fight." he said in a weak voice. I could tell he hadn't slept that much and he was still very fragile from the after effects of whatever he did.

"Good." I replied. Wiping up the last of the salad into a paper towel and throwing it with the last of the garbage. I tied the top of the garbage bag and was about to walk out the front door, when he stopped me. "Hey, hey." he said taking the trash bag away from me. "I'll take that." I didn't want to argue with him about it, and even if I wanted to I didn't get the chance. He walked out with it, slung behind his back and took it to the trash can. I could only hope he didn't think that was going to get him off the hook. When he came back in the house he was steady staring at me, while I sat on the floor petting Iggy, and rubbing his head gently. When I noticed him I looked at him with my what-in-the-world-do-you-want-look.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Why do you have to be so cold to me?" he asked. I couldn't believe he even asked that question, but then again I could. He IS a man after all and they're all idiot little turds! I folded my arms and rolled my eyes. "You expect me _not_ to be cold to you?" I could feel that Puerto Rican/Brooklyn accent coming out. I got to learn how to break that habit, but one thing at a time.

"I'm pretty much sorry for what happened." Fuck you and your sucky apologies!

"Pretty much?"

"Yeah."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" My neck was starting to move from side to side and my hands were now on my hips and I shifted the weight of my leg from one side to the other. Done like a true Puerto Rican!

"It means what it means."

"Which is?"

"That I am sorry for what happened." he finally said, but he had an expression on his face like he swallowed a bug. He didn't apologize to anyone. "You're not stupid and you're not ugly. Okay?" I still wasn't convinced. I narrowed my eyes at him and grinded my teeth. "I mean it. You aren't."

"I know you mean it." I lied. "But you don't realize the damage you did."

"If it's the mug I'll get you a new one." I threw my arms up in the air.

"Alex! It's not just the mug! I don't care about the fucking mug! It's what you did and what you said! I mean seriously Alex! You came in here high off your fucking ass and you not only hurt me and Anna Mae but your own mother! Your own mother! I mean goddamnit Alex! Dawn was right there! You better fucking hope she doesn't remember a thing!"

"I know." he replied.

"You fucking stupid idiot! What made you think that was a good fucking idea! Did you think everything would turn out okay?! I mean seriously Alex! I don't want Dawn growing up in a environment like this! Where she has to see her dad stepping into the house, high off his ass and then treating the people around him like shit! You know who you're starting to act like? A bitter man who doesn't love anyone but himself!"

"It won't happen again, alright? I love Dawn and you."

"Yeah fucking right you really showed how much you loved us! I know you don't want to hear it but I wouldn't be a honest woman if I did-." I stopped right in my tracks. "Wait." Did he really say those words?

"Here it comes." Tig said leaning against a nearby wall with a smug smile on his face.

"Did you say you loved me?" I never heard him say it. He nodded. "Really?" I asked cocking my head to the side. He never said those words unless it was during sex. I did feel sorry for how I said what I said to him, but not for what I said. "Alex..." I said with a sigh and a hand running down my face. "You know I love you too, but I don't want my little girl raised like this. Shit has been hard I know."

"Come here." he said with his arms extended toward me. I didn't move a inch. I wasn't going to trust him. At least not yet. My neck was still sore and bruised from where he grabbed me only the other night.

I could see him growing impatient. Instead of asking me again he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me closer to him. He wrapped his arms around me and stroked my hair. Slowly I wrapped my arms around him. He didn't want me to go on my threat that I had made about leaving him. For a minute or two we stood there in a embrace. It felt nice to have him close to me again, so it pained me even more for me to do what I had to do.

"Tig?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"You're going to hate me for saying this." I said softly. I took one big courageous breath that was less than courageous. It was shaky, and the words didn't seem to want to come out. He pulled me away from him slightly, those damned blue eyes was still paranoid.

"What is it?"

"I think-." I started, but I stopped to clear my throat. "I think we need to seperate for awhile." I said finally.

He pushed me far enough away from him. I didn't know what else to say.

* * *

_Crying by Roy Orbison and the song earlier was Cryptochild by Marilyn Manson. Both songs were stuck in my head so I decided to incorperate them into the story. Hoped you like. Leave a review. This is part two of a three part chapter. _


	44. Goodbye Love

"Alright." Tig said calmly with his arms folded a few seconds after hearing the news of my plans to leave. He was still leaning against the wall with a smirk on his face. I stood in the same place in absolute silence. Wait, what?! No fight? No yelling? No calling me names? Nothing? Jesus, if I had known it would be this easy I wouldn't have hesitated.

"Really?"I asked, cocking my head to the side. He nodded his head and flashed me his infamous mischievous grin. "Yeah, no problem. You can leave right now." He said. I was cautious and flashed him a look of disbelief. After a minute or two I brought myself together and made my way up the stairs slowly eyeing him to make sure he didn't try anything stupid. Before I was half way up the stairs, with my foot barely hovering over the middle stair I heard him say. "Just don't think you're taking Dawn with you."

Ah, now that's Tig talking.

"Oh she's coming with me." I said rushing up the stairs. Before I knew it he was right behind me at my heels. I tried to get away but damn my short legs. I tried to move faster but his legs were so much longer than mine. "You can't even take care of yourself right!" I yelled back at him. "What makes you think you could take care of a little baby?"

"I don't care. She's my kid and you're not taking her." I turned around to face him at the top of the stairs. I was so furious at that statement. I knew that Dawn our kid, but he was getting on my goddamn last nerve, I had to think of something to push him to the edge. "She's MY kid!" I exclaimed.

Tig clenched and unclenched his fist. "I already fucking said I was sorry so why don't you just forget it? You're acting like a goddamn bitch about this shit." I could feel my eye twitch with frustration and anger.

"You're not fucking serious. Didn't we just go through this?!"

"Is this about the Anna Mae thing?"

Has it always been you drugged out retard!?

"Because that was a lie. I didn't sleep with her since...." He thought for a bit, looking up at the ceiling before giving up and responding to his statement. "Well it's been a long time. Since before we got together."

I tapped my foot and folded my arms. "Well thank you Alex." I said. "Now if you'll excuse me I have my things to pack."

Before I could get started to walk to Dawn's room, I felt a large force push me out of the way and head off to Dawn's room. I saw a flash of curly brown hair turn around the corner of the hallway. Hell no! I dashed after him and jumped on his back. He immediately lost his balance and fell on the ground. I crawled toward Dawns doors and closed the door with my foot . I jumped on my knees to press the button in the middle of the knob to lock it. I crawled away from the door and stood by Dawns crib. Oh yes, now he was mad.

"Open the fucking door!" he yelled pulling hard at the knob.

"No!" I yelled back. Not by the hairs of my chiney chin chin! Even though I don't have hair on my chin. Just thought I'd clear up that small detail.

I heard a loud bang on the door, followed by another and another. I finally came to the conclusion that he was trying to break in. Or that he is completely insane and it might be in my best interest to call the nearest mental hospital immediately.

What the fuck?

"You better not break the door down!" I yelled at him. Dawn looked at the door then at me, and started to drool. The one good thing about Dawn was she wasn't a fussy baby. Never really cried that much only when she had to. However that's the not the point.

The door flung open and banged hard against the door. In fact so hard that the doorknob caused a huge dent in wall. The blue eyed demon looked like he was ready for another fight. I decided I had to fight for my kid so I was ready to go Hell Cat Maggie on him. Tig stomped towards me but I held my ground. I was going to snap his neck and write to the club about it. Or I would if I could reach his neck, but I would try and make a jump for it. Just when the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife I heard the sound of a muffled little voice say. "Dada."

We both turned to Dawn. She was standing on her curled feet with her arms outstretched to him. Her toothless grin was as wide as her big head. "Dada." she said again clenching and unclenching her tiny hands. My little girl said her first words and I didn't have the camcorder to record that moment. Shit. Tig turned around and smiled as he picked up Dawn. She leaned on his shoulder and placed her head in between his neck. What a daddy's girl.

Oh Dawn. I would give the moon if I could but she really couldn't wait until we left to say her first words? My heart was filled with a mixture of joy because she finally said her first words but it was troubled with sorrow as well. My marriage if you could call it that was crumbling. Dawn's love for her Papa, made me feel sorry for trying to leave and it was as clear as day that he loved her so much. I walked to the purple rocking chair and placed my head in one of my hands. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine myself somewhere else. It didn't work at all, because when I thought I was miles away from him and this place I realized that I was sitting across from him.

Fuck my life.

* * *

The next day wasn't much better than the last two. I spent the rest of the night watching old music videos I had tapped a year or so ago along with a few movies meanwhile dozing on and off in between. By morning my eyes were tired and I had a pounding headache that wouldn't seem to quit. However as every mother knows that no matter how bad things get life goes on. You still have to take care of your baby. As I tried to get Dawn up, Tig was passed out on the couch still in the clothes he's worn for the past two days. He's such a help.

Douche.

As Dawn ate her breakfast I heard a motorcycle come into the driveway followed by a car. I hoped that it was just my imagination or they had the wrong address, but I was wrong. I put down Dawn's spoon and checked through the window. That motherfucker called the fucking Calvary. Before the said Calvary came to the door I walked over to Tig and dug my foot into his ribs. "Get up." I ordered him. I didn't feel like being nice and loving. Hell, he didn't even deserve it. "I think some of your friends are here."

"Hmm?" he asked digging his head into pillow some more and falling back asleep. All I wanted to do was yell in his ear "wake up motherfucker!"

"Get up!" I ordered again only a little louder. I once more dug harder into his ribs with my big toe.

"Alright!" he exclaimed shoving my foot away from him and sitting up finally. He wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand and stood up too fast. He froze in place for a few seconds. "I'll be back." he said walking up the stairs to our bedroom.

I figured he was going to put on some fresh clothes and do the manly way of freshening up. Personally I throw on some deodorant and wash my junk, but the guys (especially the Sons) just put some cologne on their clothes slick back their hair and call it a day. Seriously? You can't just wash your junk real quick? Personally, I think that he didn't want to face with whoever I was about to face and he didn't want me to see them get fucking destroyed by my wrath. But that's a different story.

I heard the doorbell ring and I walked painfully slow to the door. I hoped they would discouraged after the long wait, but they were determined motherfuckers. I stared through the peephole for a minute and waited for the slightest bit of discouragement, but they didn't move. After awhile I finally opened the door.

Amazonian woman and her young lad decided to pay me a visit. Hooray! Now it's a party to add on top of my shitty list. The biker bitch from hell, while being aided by her young ward!

Gemma was standing over me like a praying mantis and Jax was behind her with puffy cheeks and teary eyes. He looked like Alvin and the Chipmunks. I frowned at him. "What happened to ya?" I asked. The accent was coming back. Yes I was mad as hell, because I know that I did not ask them to come over. "Did ya get ya wisdom teeth removed or somethin'?"

"No." Jax said, removing the gauze from his mouth. "I got my smiley piercing done." For all those who don't know what a smile piercing is. Take your upper lip and lift it up. What do you see? You should see a flap of pink skin that connects your gum to your upper lip. Well some masochist got together and came up with the perfect way to occupy their time. They decided to put a piece of metal in that flap of skin and call it a smiley. What a idiot.

Otherwise known as a teenager.

"Ew." I said, shaking my head trying to shake off the thought. I was a grunge kid, I used to have friends who got that done. I thought about it but I don't think I could do it. Mouth pain is the worse pain for me, even if it's minimal. He lifted his upper lip to show me a metal bar in the flap of skin above his gum. It made me cringe even more. "What the fuck?"

"Cool?" he asked with an eyebrow raised and a smile on his face.

"No." I replied, shaking my head. "Just stupid."

He frowned at me, well the best that he could with his swollen lip. In fact it looked more funny than anything. It's like Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks getting mad at you and I love Theodore. He's so adorable, and Jax is no Theodore besides the cheeks. Gemma exhaled sharply probably not pleased with her sons decision, but turned to me with her catty smile. "May we come in?" she asked, trying to be nice. I think she made no secret of that too.

"Yeah, but I'm feedin' Dawn." I replied trying to calm the accent down a notch. I knew what was coming from a mile away. I walked back to the kitchen where Dawn was starting to dig her fingers into the oatmeal and spreading it on her high chair. I sat back down and stirred Dawn's oatmeal and offered her some more. She opened her mouth and I slide the sweet smelling mess into her mouth. I wiped the sides of her cheeks with her bib and offered her another spoonful. She turned to see Gemma and smiled at her. Gemma smiled back and waved. "How are you?" she asked.

She giggled and I rubbed her head. The little goofball. "Now what is this about?" I asked them without looking at them. I didn't need them to tell me. Jax looked at Gemma and handed the floor to her. She cleared her throat. She picked her words carefully to sway me to her side, but I was prepared.

"Sweetie," she started off. "We've heard that you still want to leave Tig."

How would they know? Word travels fast around Charming, or maybe they know how much of a bitch I can be.

"I know you're angry but why don't you just spend a few days here, just to calm down so you can think rationally? You and Dawn are family to us now. I really hate to see you try and break up our family."

"Family?" I asked with my head cocked to the side and my eyebrow raised. It's ironic how she said how much of a family we are. But I think she's probably right. Every family has the bitch mother (Gemma), the fat uncle with too many kids (Bobby), the sleazeball (Tig), the self righteous one (Jax and also Clay), and the rest are sheep. Hey, I guess we are a very big dysfunctional family after all.

"Yes." She said with a catty grin on her face.

"I'm going to separate from him for a bit. I'm not going to divorce him." Yet.

"How long is a bit?"

"I don't know." I replied. "When he gets his act together." Why don't you go and lecture him about that Wonder Woman?

"I'm trying to think about you and Dawn. You both need Tig and the club. Good old ladies can make or break a club. If you're a good old lady you would stand by your man and wouldn't let anyone or anything stand in the way of your man. If you abandon your old man then you are abandoning the club. We don't take kindly to people who do that to us."

Horse shit.

I tried to bite my tongue but I couldn't. Gemma and I always clashed heads on this type of shit but why am I getting the lecture and he's laying upstairs probably over hearing everything that has been said for the past five minutes. "Who asked you to?" Gemma's eyebrow raised. She took offense to that a lot quicker than I had planned. "Excuse me?" she asked. "What did you say?"

"I asked you who asked you to think about Dawn and I?" She smirked at me, trying to cover up her anger but it was all in vain. "Just stay darling. No one is asking you to give an arm and a leg. We're just asking for a little devotion to Tig and to the club. He doesn't know what he's doing."

I lifted my black hair up to show her the bruises on my neck. Oh he knows what he's doing. "Gemma," I started taking one last breath of calm air. "The only thing I'm hearing out of your goddamn mouth is how I should understand what he's going through. Never once had you or the club felt any sympathy for me and my daughter. All you care about is if your trigger man going to be happy enough to continue to do his job. You are neither hot nor cold, you are lukewarm. My first concern is this little girl right here." I said pointing to Dawn who was staring at between both of us then up at the ceiling. "You may have no problem with having my kid in such an environment but I do. What I do with my family and my life is of no concern to you. You and the club can build your filthy world without me." I pointed the oatmeal baby spoon at her, like a gang banger with a knife. "I'm sick of all you fickle, petty people coming around me trying to tell me what to do. Fuck the club. This is my daughter and my life. You worry about when your next manicure is alright?"

Gemma's teeth were griding together so hard I could hear it perfectly clear through her cheeks. I was glad she was mad, now she felt my frustration. "I don't know where you get your nerve, baby girl. I'm doing whats best for your ass. I don't care what little pity party you're having-."

"Then you just answered the question that has been circling around my head. Now my kid needs to get changed. You both can see yourselves out." I said getting up with Dawn in my arms and walking out the room and upstairs. Tig just happened to be coming down the stairs. He looked into my eyes like he was trying to read what happened in my expression, but I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction.

Fuck them.

A little bit later Tig came up to me while I was reading a book to Dawn. She really liked The Cat and the Hat. I think she liked it better when Tig read it to her because he would do the voices. Then again she's a smiley goofy baby of course she would like anything. At least it seemed that way. I looked up to see him leaning in the doorway. Here it comes, another yelling match. I kissed Dawn on her fat cheek. "Hold on." I said whispering in her ear and putting her on the floor. She crawled over to the one of the tables and pulled herself up on her feet and started looking around.

I walked out of her room and closed the door. Well the best I could to close it considering that Tig pretty much broke the damn door. "Yes?" I asked.

"Okay." Tig said. " You're right. We need to be apart for awhile. We need it."

"Really? You agree?" Wait a minute. My detective skills were boss, so I had to figure this out before I was tricked into a trap. "Why the sudden change of heart? What's the catch?" I asked.

"No catch." he said shaking his head. He looked so weary and different than her normally was. He always had a tired look on his face, but it wasn't like this. "I'm serious."

"Did Gemma say anything to you?"

"No." he said quickly in fact too quickly for me. Then he walked away from me. I didn't find out till later that Gemma told Tig there was no way he could take care of Dawn all by himself and still have time for the club. She was better off with me. I think Tig knew she was right. That was one of the few nice things Gemma has ever done for me.

* * *

_A Week Or More Later..._

I moved into a small apartment in the inner part of Charming not too far where some vacant shops were. It didn't take me long to move in considering that Cassius and a few of his friends helped me move the crib into a one bedroom apartment that was no bigger than one of the clubhouse apartments. I didn't mind the move, I felt free to peruse my dream now, and also free from the influence of the club. However Dawn didn't like it at all. She wouldn't sleep at night for long and she kept saying "Dada" over and over until she couldn't stand it. Sometimes she wouldn't even cry, she'd just stay in her play pin and wouldn't move around. I know babies couldn't really remember people right off hand but I think she suspected something. She was smart beyond her years no doubt about that.

My poor little girl, but I had to do what was best for both of us. Although I have come to discover that when it comes to being a parent sometimes your best isn't enough. You can't win all the battles with your kid but at least you could try I suppose.

I spent the day checking out vacant buildings where I could start my restaurant, and place after place wanted about $10,000 dollars down payment. Some were a little bit less than that but I didn't have ten grand on me at the moment. I could get a business loan, because there was no hurt in hunting down until you found a place that was right for you, right? As I walked down the street pushing Dawn in a stroller I saw a familiar woman in sunglasses and platinum blond hair walking towards me.

Fucking Anna Mae.

I tried to run across the street before she had the chance to see me but I waited too soon to do so. I heard her heels click on the pavement as I tried to make my way closer to get to the other side of the road. "Apples!" I heard her say. I pretended once again that I didn't hear her until I felt her hand wrap around my arm. "Can you talk to me please?" she asked.

Her new bangs were covering the lump on her head. She had fresh make up, nothing dramatic like she usually did. It was simple tone make up and eyeliner. She never dressed slutty but she always had some sort of wacky outfit put together. Well it was wacky then but when Lady Gaga put weird fashion on the map Anna Mae looked like the one who copied after _her_. She had on a pencil skirt, heels and a button up white shirt tucked into her skirt. A rain coat was on her shoulders but it looked a little small for her.

"Yes?" I asked, sighing and placing one hand on my hip and the other still around the handle of Dawn's stroller.

"You haven't been returning my calls, and no one knows where you are. "

"Until I get back with Tig the club has excommunicated me."

"Why would they do that?"

"Because their weirdos that's why. Who needs them?"

"Yeah." she replied. There was a awkward moment of silence between us, and she cleared her throat. "Look, I swear to you that I would never sleep with Tig. We did a long time ago before you both knew the other existed. I would never do that to you, I love you and Dawn too much. I mean I haven't slept with any man in the past four months."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Why not?" I asked pulling away the stroller from the curb on the street and sitting over on a nearby bench. Anna Mae joined me, running her hands through her hair. I couldn't grasp why she couldn't find a Son. She was a beautiful girl. I know for a fact she could have any man she wanted. She had her eye on Juice and Chibs for a few months then after that she didn't seem interested. She barely even wanted to go to SAMCRO parties, instead she would hide out somewhere and read a book until they were done.

"I don't know." she responded. I just don't want them." she said. Her face was scrunched into s nervous frown. Her shaky hands were running through her blond hair and down her neck. "I got to tell you something but I don't know how you are going to react."

"Tell me." I said, leaning back on the bench. She sighed and took a big breath. "Well I don't think I fully....."

Fully? What? Damn my nosey self but I had to know.

"I don't think I fully..... like.......men."

"You don't think you fully like men? Like what do you mean? You like women or something?" I asked with a bit of a chuckle. I waited for her to laugh with me but she didn't.

Anna Mae hid her bottom lip under her upper one. It was something she did when she was angry, or embarassed. She wasn't turning red so she wasn't angry. "Um, I guess I like them both, but I like guys... somewhat."

Whoah.

Well I couldn't say I was surprised. Thinking back, I mean Anna Mae wasn't like the other sweet butts. She wasn't all over the guys like the others were. Like I said she would avoid them all together. I caught her a few times looking at some of the girls butts or at Gemma's tits. But then again she showed them off everyday it was kinda hard not to. I jsut never really thought about it.

"So let me get this straight." I said. "You don't like men at all?" Anna Mae looked at me and sighed. "It's not that." She replied scratching her arm nervously. "I like them, I just prefer the other sex." I stared at her for a minute or two and turned around fully to face her. The fact wasn't shocking I guess it was just the suddenness of it all. I had to make sure my facts were straight. "So what we're saying is.... you're bisexual?"

Anna Mae nodded. "Yeah." Anna Mae fixed an eyelash that was about to fall into her eye before replying. "It's not something that I'm proud of, I just hope that you don't....throw it down my throat."

"Not at all baby girl." I said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You can't help the way you feel. I think it's about time you embraced it." I wrapped my arms around her in a warm hug and she hugged me back. Then it made me wonder if she liked me. I know not ALL lesbians and bisexuals are attracted to you but it's just something that stays in the back of your mind. Now wasn't the right time to ask. So I ignored it I kissed her cheek and held her hands in mine. This probably wasn't the best idea but she was still my best friend no matter what. "So why are you all dressed up?" I asked.

"That was another something I meant to bring up to you." she said. "I'm leaving Charming for awhile."

My eyes widen and my mouth dropped. I couldn't fucking believe it. Why were all my goddamn friends leaving me? What bitches! "Why?"

"I'm going back to school in Lodi. Three years in Lodi and three years in San Francisco. I'm getting my PhD."

I couldn't help but smile. Baby girl was finally taking my advice. "Good. Did you tell the club?" I asked. She rolled her eyes. "Yep. Each and every single one of those idiots laughed at me. Especially Tig." She sucked her teeth. "Whatever. Half of them probably barely got through high school if that."

I laughed a bit. "Yeah. Well you know I'm here for you babe. Come and visit anytime."

"I will." she smiled and gave me one last long hug. "You do what you got to do, okay?"

I nodded and gave her one last kiss on the cheek. "When are you leaving?" I asked.

"Soon. Not until January." she replied.

"Well help me find some places to start on my restaurant in the meantime." I said standing up getting ready to push Dawn in the stroller. I peaked in on her, t to see what she was up to. She wasn't asleep but she looked tired . She was just staring off quietly into the distance. She had been dozing on and off today, especially with the lack of sleep from her missing Tig. "Is she okay?" Anna Mae asked peaking in as well..

"Yeah. She's going through Daddy withdrawl."

"Oh." Anna Mae said with a confused frown. Some things weren't meant for you to get Anna dearest. As we passed through the streets of Charming we saw a young man about our age maybe older playing his guitar on the corner. He was a good looking guy, tall and skinny but had pretty brown eyes and shoulder length brown hair. I dug into the pocket of my jeans and dropped a dollar or two in the guitar case that was filled with spare change. Mostly pennies, nickels and dimes. All the retarded change that helped the quarters out in a time of need. We thought he didn't see us he was so into his music. Couldn't blame him he was good!

"Bless ya shug." I heard him say in a Cajun accent. I stopped suddenly and looked back to see him still looking at me with a cute half smile on his face. I smiled back and continued walking. As I walked down the street I saw a vacant building that was up for grabs. I tapped my chin and smiled at Anna Mae. "I like this location." I said to her.

"Well look into it." Anna Mae replied.

"You bet I fucking will." I said. I looked across the street and saw a black van parked by a clothes shop. I stared at it for sometime. It looked like the exact same van that was parked at my moms. My heart jumped and I started to get extremely paranoid. Shit. What the fuck is going on?

"You okay?" Anna Mae asked touching my shoulder. That was a understatement. I stared off for sometimes and finally came back to reality.

"Yeah." I replied trying to pull my eyes away from the van. "I'm fine." I made my way into the vacant lot still taking double takes back to the van.


	45. Motherly Love

_Happy Mother's Day! I made a special one for this day. :] Enjoy! _

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"I don't care how badly you don't want to do it! You're going to apologize!" I said pulling him by his sleeve to my car. I bet you're wondering whose in the car? None other than Charlotte whom I had to trick into coming with me by saying we were going shopping for Dawn. Of course that wasn't the case and she hasn't been talking to me since the minute we passed the 'Welcome to Charming' sign. Her sunglasses were placed firmly on her nose and her eyes directed towards the sky, maybe to keep herself from crying. When we pulled up into the clubhouse and was welcomed by mutters and evil eyes.

Man up you overgrown douchebags.

Tig really wasn't ready to apologize to his mom, nor was he ready to face me again, but I made him do it. As much as I really wanted to kill him, but we have technology now so I guess a serperation would do. He tried to ignore for for ten minutes, but then I got him to start talking. I think he noticed my new shirt. Ever since Dawn was born my boobs blew up so it made him really wish he hadn't roughed me up. Good I wanted him to suffer.

"Apples," he started running his hands through his hair. "I can't apologize to her. I mean... c'mon she'd never forgive me."

"Yes she would."

"After the shit I said to her."

"I got a lesson for you Tigger." I said, with that I hit him hard on the side of his head. He was so shocked he almost fell backwards and landed on his butt. Half of that was revenge, the other half was to teach him the lesson that I had been trying to get through to him. I knew he was about to back hand me, but he stopped dead in his tracks and put his hand down by his side. "What the fuck did you do that for?!" he exclaimed at me, checking to see if his head was bleeding. I didn't hit him that hard! He's such a baby.

"It doesn't matter." I said with my hands in the air and a large grin on my face. "It's in the past."

"I know but it still hurts." he said rubbing his head.

"So? What can you do about it, except learn from it?" I asked going in for another hit on his head, but this time he doged the blow just in time before my hand reached his head. "Aha!" I exclaimed feeling wiser than I ever had. "You see what I mean?" He raised his eyebrow and tried to figure out the meaning behind the pain in his head. Maybe I did hit him a little too hard.

"So, what are you saying?"

I sighed and rubbed my temples to try and calm my nerves. "Even though the past hurts we learn from it and move on." He stared at me blankly for a minute then nodded his head. I pushed him by the sleeve again towards the car. "So learn from the past!"

And guess where I got that example? From the Lion King! Yes, I was watching it with Anna Mae, and Dawn in my new apartment and reached an ephiphany. Let me tell you something that movie makes me wish I lived in Africa! So after much thinking I decided to incorporate it in real life. It was a good thing he got it too, I was afraid I'd have to explain it all over again. He already knows that I would hit him. He made his way toward the car. Charlotte was keeping herself distracted with Dawn. She had her arms wrapped around Dawn who was sleeping on her chest.

"Hey Mom." he said, leaning into the car.

Charlotte looked up, then looked back down again at Dawn. "Hello." she replied in a muffled voice.

"Dawn's passed out, huh?" Tig asked. Charlotte looked at Dawn and smoothed her crazy black hair down and nodded. "Yes." she said sniffing quietly. "It appears so."

"Yeah." he said, running his hands on his cheek and looked at me and shrugged. I mouthed to him two special words. 'Just apologize!' He rolled his eyes and peaked back into the car "Hey uh, Mom?"

"Mhm?" she asked looking up at him again.

"I'm sorry." he said quickly. "I didn't mean it. You're not worthless at all. You're my mom. I don't care about what happened in the past it's done. So you forgive me?"

Charlotte looked up at him and touched his cheek. "Of course baby I forgive you." She kissed his cheek and returned back to stroking Dawn's hair. He stared at her blankly and stared at her liike he was waiting for something.

"That's it?" he asked.

"Yes." she replied with a smile on her face.

"Seriously?"

"Mhmm."

"You're not going to hold this over my head?"

"No, Alex." she replied with a slight chuckle.

"Mom," he sighed in disbelief. "You're not going to scream at me? You're not going to throw insults or tell me what a sorry piece of sh-."

"Language." Charlotte snapped.

"A sorry piece of _crap_ that I am? Just please do something other than saying it's okay. If you don't I'll feel twice as bad."

"You think I don't know that?" Charlotte said taking off her sunglasses to look at him. "I'm your mother. I was raising you until you were thirteen but how do you think I made you feel guilty for every stunt you ever pulled and you pulled some weird ones young man?" She smiled even wider and ran her hand through his curly brown hair. "You're my son. I'm going to love you no matter what you do. I'm your mother. I'm always going to be in your corner."

Now that really laid on the guilt. He kissed her on the cheek and picked up Dawn from her pale arms. Dawn's lips were poked out but her eyes were shut tight. She made soft little grunts and every once in awhile she would move around in Tig's arms but she was dead asleep. He started to rock her gently. "Feel better?" I asked with a hand on his shoulder.

"No I feel worse." he replied, patting Dawn's back, until she grunted again.


	46. Drama Queen

_Hey guys I haven't had a chance to update. Here's a small chapter for you guys to keep up your interest. Don't forget to review. Graduation day is almost here for me!_

_Have you ever tried ot open a electronic but you couldn't get that plastic cover open no matter how hard you try? Keep reading and Tig can understand your pain._

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"Can you open the container for the cable wire?" I asked as I finished up the last of the business papers for my restaurant. I had been delaying it for a long period of time. Tig came to the apartment to play with Dawn for a bit. Dawn was in his arms holding his curly hair in her little hands and laughing as he blew raspberries into her cheeks. He wasn't paying me any mind. He hadn't seen his daughter in about a week and I'm sure he wasn't in the mood to worry about what I was doing. We were barely on speaking terms. I think we made peace just for Dawn's sake. We both loved her more than anything else in the world. So now we had to swallow our pride and deal with each other. "Tiggy?" I asked in a slightly sweet voice.

"Hmm?" he said turning to me only to realize that Dawn still had his hair. "Ouch." he said turning back to Dawn who was laughing her drooly booty off. He pulled her hand away from his hair and turned back to me. "What is it?" He kissed Dawn's hand. I took a moment to soak in how precious this was.

"Can you open that cable wire thing?" I asked pushing my hair aside and signing the last of the paper work.

"Now?" Tig whined.

"Yeah now. If you don't do it now you won't do it ever." I said rolling my eyes. Tig was the most procrastinating person with these things, not counting the matters of the club. That is strictly business. Tig put Dawn in her play pin and picked up the cable wire box and tried to open it with his bare hands. His hands slipped off and on the plastic container. It was so hard to get open but c'mon get real, all he had to do was pull the slip thing right behind it, but it was fun watching Tig try.

He pulled at the plastic sides but couldn't get it open. He tried to pull at the slip but it wouldn't budge for him. He pulled it so hard that the plastic slip ripped off. He threw the plastic slip off his finger and fumbled around for the scissors. He took them like a mad man and started ripped at the plastic and cut a small cut in it. He threw the scissors down and tried to pull from that but let out a yelp. "Ouch!" He dropped the box and looked at his finger, then placed it in his mouth. "Jesus." he said.

"What?" I asked, taking off my reading glasses and looking at his extended index finger. "You got cut?" I asked apathetically. Men are such babies.

"Goddamnit!" he exclaimed. "Now it pissed me off." He picked up the box and started to pull and rip it apart like a mad dog but it wouldn't budge. He pulled and pulled madly at it and even started biting at it to tear it apart. He threw it across the room. His face was red and his eyes were a mad blue. This was a big huge laugh for me and it was torture to try and hold it in. He reached into one of his side pockets and pulled out the knife he always kept by his side.

Now even Dawn was starting to laugh at her Daddy's horrible luck. He grabbed the plastic box and started stabbing the shit out of it. He was able to get a small hole and he pulled it apart. Except for one thing it was pretty much stuck. He pulled and pulled until the thing finally opened wide enough for him to pull it out. Tig was breathing heavily and put the knife back in his pocket and handed me the cable wire.

"Thank you." I said. "Now can you open those batteries for me?" I asked pointing a them opposite of the paper work that I had to fill. These were also in a plastic container that seemed like it was bolted together. He flipped me off and walked to Dawn's play pin. "Drama queen." I muttered signing the last of the papers.


	47. Cherie

_This chapter is dedicated to my dear Cali friend kvsgrl. Happy Birthday! :) Sorry for the late update but good news is I've graduated but I got my wisdom teeth taken out. With all the painkillers in my system it might not be exactly correct but you're going to review anyway because you love Apples. :] _

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I started to set up decorations all around the restaurant, mostly of painted portraits that my Uncle Wladek drew for my dad. I kept all my favorite portraits to myself. I leaned more so I could slam the nail, however the old chair I was standing under was rickety and unstable but I didn't feel like looking for another. Yeah I know laziness can be a bitch and I hate being so fucking short! I stood on my tip toes and tried to slam the hammer down on the nail. I wanted to put up the portrait of Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now but how could I do it if it wasn't going to cooperate with me? I was finally able to put up the portrait but just as I was about to get off I felt the chair give out and I fell towards the ground. I braced myself for the pain when I felt someones arms grip around my waist.

"Whoah Cher." I heard a Cajun voice say. I turned around to see his arms still around my waist. The first thing I spotted was shoulder length brown hair. "You have to be more careful darlin'." I looked up and that exact same guy with the guitar a couple weeks back. Why the hell was he here? I didn't know whether to thank him or to slap him for not making his presence known. He placed me up right and made sure I wasn't harmed.

"How the hell did you get in here?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips after bringing myself together.

"Is that a way to thank me from saving you from your terrible predicament?" he asked with a smile. A really cute smile. I tried not to notice that one detail.

"I'm clumsy." I replied with a shrug. Honestly is the best policy. "It happens all the time. Now what the hell are you doing here?"

"You really know how to thank a man." He said sarcastically. I tightened my jaw waiting for him to answer my question. He bowed to me. "Forgive me, _ma_ _Cherie_." he replied. "It was rude of me not to make myself known to you."

I sighed and nodded. "Alright." I said. I really had to make sure I put in a bell or something, so I wouldn't be spooked again. "Thank you." I finally said after taking all my energy to push out a proper thank you. "Now what the hell are you doing here?"

He brought his hands together and smiled a Southern gentleman smile. Oh and those have to be the worst. "I was afraid I'd lose the interest of a beautiful woman." he said. My knees weakened and I couldn't help but blush but I shook it off. I had to keep saying in my head. _'You're married, girl! You're married!'_

I rolled my eyes and tried to repress a smile. "Well don't give your hopes up, Champ." I said. One eyebrow was raised and my weight shifted to one side.

"_S'il vous plait, Cherie_." He said, still flashing his more than dashing smile at me. I felt like such a sucker but I was blushing like crazy. I barely had an idea of what he was saying but it sounded romantic. At least I hoped. I mean he could've been saying something like, "your ass smells". Well at least if he did say that he would have the decency not to tell me the translation.

"So why did you decided to drop by um..?" I asked waiting for his name. He slapped his forehead. "Forgive my rudeness Shug. I'm Remy D'amours ." He bowed slightly to me, jeez this guy was a fucking quack but it was such a romantic notion of chivalry. He definitely wasn't SAMCRO. Their way of being a gentleman was pinching your ass lightly or wiping the top of the bottle of booze before they passed it to you. "And yours Cher?"

"Apollonia." I replied he took my hand in his that's when I could feel my cheeks turning a bright red. He's got charm that would make Rhett Butler look like a rude ass.

"That's it? No last name? Kinda like Madonna?"

"No." I said with a chuckle. "Apollonia Tr-." I hesitated. I know I shouldn't have because I am still married to Tig still, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to totally ruin my chances with this guy. It sounded selfish and shady but c'mon things hadn't been going well with Tig and it was refreshing to be around a new face. "Apollonia Naranjas-Trager." I added the Trager at the last minute just out of guilt. He kissed my hand.

"Beautiful name, for a beautiful girl." He replied. I took my hand back and did my best to try and cover up that I had been blushing. "If you're doing this to try and woo me into sleeping with you, you can forget it." I said.

"As tempting as that is," he said with a daring smile. "I heard your establishment was opening so I decided to apply for a job."

I frowned. "Oh really?"

"Yes."

"So the guitar strumming is merely a hobby?" I asked pointing to the instrument that had been placed care.

"Right again." He said. "It's was all a ploy to get me some coffee, and a bus ticket to the next city, but I kinda like it here so I figure I'd stay for a bit."

"I see." I walked back over to the main desk in the back and pulled out an application. "Just fill all this out and I'll get you started." I said with a smile.

He smiled back at me and sat in the corner of one of the chairs with a pen and filled it out, while I worked some more putting up pictures with a different chair of course. Every once in awhile I would see him through the corner of my eye looking at me then when he noticed I was looking he would return back to his paper, but he would take his sweet old time with it. As much as I wanted to I know I couldn't just flirt with the guy. Okay, maybe I could flirt but I had to draw the line at some point.

I had to keep telling myself. _'I love my old man.'_

He looked up at me again to meet my eyes and he smiled slyly at me. "Shug?" he asked me. "May I have a drink of water? My throat is dry."

I walked to the back room and pulled out a glass, filled it with ater and threw a few ice cubes and walked back to him. He was chewing on the tip of the pen and was leaning back in his chair waiting for me. As I gave him the water, I felt his finger tips touch mine qand my heart jumped a little bit. It was a weird moment of connection. When he realized how I felt he took the water and sat right back down. He winked at me and continued with the paper work.

Tease.

I went back to putting up portraits that my uncle painted and rearranging the tables and chairs again. Everything had to be perfect, especially for the opening but nothing seemed to be fitting right. Once he was finished he placed his application at the front desk and looked at the restaurant. "How did you manage to get all this?" he asked.

"The paintings and the restaurant." He said touching the portrait of Janis Joplin.

"My Uncle Wladdek is a painter. He used to send some of his portraits to my dad for safe keeping while he was going through this nasty divorce. My dad loved them so much he placed them all around the house, so when Dad died he gave them to me. Every couple of months my Uncle will send me one or two to add to my collection. I keep my favorites ones at my place."

"I would love to see them one day." He said with a smile as he looked at John Lennon's in depth painting. "How did you get this place?"

"Daddy wanted to make sure that my dream came true so he left me some money. Mama just told me about it. Other than that I took out a business loan."

"Determined. That's good." He said with a smile on his face. "I'll be going _Ma Cherie_. You just let me know about that job, ya hear?" He winked at me and walked out the door. "_Au Revoir_." He said walking out the restaurant. "Um," I said trying to think of something cool and Frenchy to say but all I could come up with was. "See ya later."

Lame.

My heart gave out a flutter and I couldn't help but giggle.

No, I couldn't giggle. I know I shouldn't. _'I love my old man.' _I had to keep saying it then maybe the events that happened earlier would just disappear. I did love Tig, and I will be faithful to him even in separation but I had never been treated like that before, and he was really good looking. I took a look at his application and saw that by his phone number there was a message.

'_Call me anytime Cherie. Dinner and a movie, maybe?_' I tried to repress my smile, but I couldn't. So I started chuckling like crazy. Then I heard the door fly open and I instinctively turned around. I thought it was my old man so I prepared every excuse possible that I could think of.

But when I saw a tall, big guy with a bald head and tons of tattoos entered through the resturant I realized that wasn't Tig. Okay, so that solved that question, but now I had someone else to deal with. He looked pretty mean judging by the scowl on his face. He looked around and then walked a bit closer to me. The closer he got the more his tattoos came into focus. Tattoos of swastikas and different Aryan ink. It made my skin crawl and I looked up at him with my arms folded and my bottom lip tightened.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Come outside." He demanded. What? Motherfucker, excuse me! Who the fuck does he think he's ordering around?

"How about I don't?" I said. "Who the fuck are you anyway? Get the fuck out of my store with that shit!" My finger was drifting between his face and the door. I wasn't scared of him and apparently he thought I was kidding. He pulled out a knife from his pocket and held it out to me. Okay, that can be influential. I stopped rolling my neck and giving him attitude and I stared at the knife, because honestly what could I say?

"Come on." he said grabbing me. I pushed him away and ran straight for anything blunt or sharp that I could find. Thank God I was raised in Oakland. It made me quick on my toes. I could feel him on my tail so I dived in for that piece of broken chair. I grabbed the leg and started hitting that Nazi bastard with it. Not hard enough to kill him, but just hard enough for him to get the message. He grabbed his head and covered himself the best he could. "Ouch!" he yelled.

"Ouch is right ya dumb bastard!" I said yelling at him.

"And if you come my way again you'll get more than just this shit upside ya fucking head!" The fucking Neo Nazi bastard actually started to bolt out the door and toward a black van that had it's doors already open. One of the guys a skinnier man with the 'SS' lightening tattooed on the side of his head. "What the hell Ed!" he screamed. "You can't do anything right!" Ed fell into the van and they drove off.

Black van. Shit.

The paranoia was setting in.

Fuck. I had three fights in almost one month. Jesus Christ. I swear people will want tickets to see the next fight I'm going to get into.


	48. New York Girls

_I got a laptop! Which means more updates! I got more planned for the story! Just you wait!_

_-Val_

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"Why?" Tig complained like a little kid. Tig wanted to spend more time with Dawn, especially since she was starting to talk more and more. Nothing that anyone can really understand. She's mostly pointing to the things she wants and putting them in her mouth. Or she says a bunch of jibberish, mostly the sounds she probably hears us say.

He asked and I agreed that he could spend the night. No, we didn't have sex or even sleep in the same bed. He slept on the couch and I slept in my bedroom. It was tempting though. Considering I hadn't had sex in awhile. But I settled with a giddy little baby as she bounced her head to the music of Aladdin.

Anyway, the next day after we dropped Dawn off at the sitters house. After that I took Caddie for a check up at the Teller-Morrow shop. Meanwhile Tig and I got a couple of drinks at the clubhouse bar. However we discovered something that was to say the least wasn't expected at all.

Charlotte was sitting perched at the top of the bar with the club members surrounding her. It reminded me of Scarlet O'Hara in Gone with the Wind when she was sitting under the old tree with her beaux's watching her. Just like in the movie, I could see hearts in the Sons eyes and feel the libido kicking in.

Charlotte held her martini up and smiled. "Oh, you boys are so polite." She finished the last of her martini and held out her glass. "Which one of you wants to get me another?"

"I got it." Juice said, making a dash for it. He was almost to the other end of the bar when Chibs grabbed him by the cut. "No, I got it!" He said heading toward the back of the bar.

"No, it's okay." Clay replied, trying to hide the urgency in his voice. "I got it."

"I got it!" Jax said running to the other end of the bar, when Juice grabbed him by the collar. They all started arguing and yelling until Charlotte placed her thumb and index finger in her mouth and whistled. "Boys!" she said fairly loud, but not above her classy lady like voice. "Relax."

Wow, the only thing I've seen these guys fight over was the last of the Bud Lite and Oreos. Never a woman. Women would fight over them.

"Hmm, but who shall get my drink?" she said with a flirty smile and finger to her chin. "I think..." she looked between them. "Hmmm. Decisions, decisions." She paused for a second and said with a smile. "I think Juice may get it." Juice ran to the other side of the bar saying. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" While the other members muttered shit under their breaths.. I looked back at Tig who looked like a imbecile. His eyes were dead set on his mother and then to the club members around him. I touched his arm. "Tig?" I asked.

"Uh..." he said.

"Uh oh." I looked at the other corner of the room and a gathering of sweet butts were sitting at the table looking at Charlotte and looking back between each other. If Charlotte continued to take business away from the sluts, I don't think she'll live much longer. She was taking away their thunder. Hell, they've never felt threatened by someone older than them, not even Gemma. Well maybe Gemma but definatly not Luanne. Now I know how the ugly fat hookers must feel.

When Charlotte recieved her martini she saw Tig and I standing in the door way. She waved at us. "Alex!" she said happily. "Alex come here!"

Tig stayed firmly in placed still recovering from shock. "Uh..." he said.

"Tig she's calling you." I whispered to him.

"Yeah." He said still standing in the same spot. Charlotte held out her hand and the President helped her down from the bar stool. "Thank you." she said with a smile and made her way towards Tig. When she finallly reached him she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, then did the same to me.

"I'm so sorry for the short notice. I was in town shopping for clothes and I was passing by on the way home. They said you'd be here soon so I stayed for a drink. Your friends are so nice." She turned back to them and gave a slight wave and they waved back. She took a small sip from her martini and whispered to him. "Alex, now you know I'll always love you no matter what but..." she hesitated at first then finally came out with it. "Are you running a brothel?"

My mouth dropped, my eyes widen and I started laughing my ass off. The whores sitting at the other table glared at me but I didn't care. Charlotte didn't seem to pay me any mind but Tig was staring daggers at me. "I mean it Alexander. The girs are dressed like sluts and acting like they have no mother. This is no way to raise a child." I almost dropped to my knees in laughter by then.

"The main harlot is a riot. She is _really_ tall. She had her tits out and tried to intimidate me." Tears were falling down my eyes from laughing so hard. While I was laughing out my kidneys Tig was growing madder by the second. I was almost tempted to stop but I didn't care enough.

"Mom..." Tig said, but Charlottte just kept talking.

"She had enough nerve trying to tell me I didn't belong here. Does she own the place or something? I wouldn't mind leaving I don't want to be mistaken for.." She lowered her voice to a loud whisper and cupped her hand to Tigs ear, but lucky for me I heard it "A white trash cheap whore."

I slapped my knee and knelt over laughing. My side and stomach was killing me and I'm sure Tig wouldn't mind finishing what my side pain had started. "Mom," Tig said trying to talk over my obnoxious laughter. "I do not run a brothel. They're just... uh...followers."

"Followers?" I asked, wiping tears from my eyes. "What are they Star Wars freaks? That's a follower. You're 'followers'," I made sure to use the quote hand motion. "Are the same followers who followed Motely Crue in the 80's and did more than get a autograph. Followers you say, I think more of a groupie-."

"NOT NOW APPLES!" Tig screamed at me.

I jumped a little bit but I did shut up, while in the meantime I did my best to hide my giggles. "Oh." Charlotte said with a shrug. "Well tell them to put some clothes on. People will get the wrong idea. What will your neighbors say?" she asked, taking a sip of her martini.

"Who cares?" Tig said through gritted teeth.

"Hmm?" she asked.

"I said that seems fair." Tig lied. Charlotte nodded her head and turned around to see the guys calling her back. "Calm down boys." she said with a smile on her face. "Chibs dear, I'm sure you've been to Ireland."

"Yes ma'am." he said with a weird smile on his face. I never seen Chibs smile that way.

"Would you happen to know many drinking songs?"

"You know Irish drinking songs?" he asked.

"For the first seven years of my life I spent it in a Irish orphanage. The head mistress used to sing them as we did our chores."

"Which song do you have in mind?" Chibs asked.

"New York Girls?" she asked with a slight smile. The bikers gave her a blank look. Her jaw dropped and she placed a thin pale hand to her forehead for a dramatic effect. "I can't believe it. You've never heard of New York Girls?" They all shook their heads. "No matter. I'll teach it to you." She placed a hand out to Clay and he helped her sit on the bar, her legs wrapped around the other. "I'll only teach it to you, if you sing the chorus with me."

Tig leaned against the wall, crossed his arms and clenched his jaw really tight. I leaned next to him and crossed my arms and watched Charlotte carry on. She was only a centimeter away from making her show a cabaret spectacle. "So." I said trying to break the tension. "Are you going to join in the singing?"

"Can it, you little Rican geicko."

I glared at him. "That's alright, be hostile old man. By the way you have a gray hair in your curly locks." His blue eyes widen. He was very sensitive about his gray hair predicament. He had the mind of a twenty year old boy but had the body of someone ...well his age. Not a bad one but he was in his forties bat the time. He glared at me and watched as the Sons listened as Charlotte tried to remember most of the lyrics.

"Hmm," she said as she started humming what I assumed was the beginning. "Oh I remember now." She took a sip of her martini and cleared her throat. "Ready boys?" Their drinks were raised in a toast and she started. "_As I walked down to Chatnum Street, a fair maid I did meet. She asked me to see her home she lived on Bleaker Street. To me a-weigh you Santee my dear Annie. Oh you New York girls can't you dance the polka_?" She let out a tipsy laugh. "You boys think you can handle that? Here comes the second part ready?" She took another sip and sang the second part.

"_When we got to Bleeker Street we stopped at forty four. Her mother and her sister were there to meet us at the door_." When she sung the chorus a mix matched rush of singing echoed through the bar. Some forgot the lyrics and some were already a bit drunk. Charlotte laughed. "Oh you boys can sing better than that."

"_When I got inside the house the drinks were passed around. The liquior was so awful strong my head went round and round_." By the second chorus I heard a pair of heels walk to our direction. Gemma had her lips tightly together and her hand on her hip. I haven't seen her this mad since they kicked her out of Macy's for loitering.

"Can you believe this shit?" she asked Tig. Tig shook his head. "That's my mother. She's the biggest fucking flirt." Tig shoved his hair back from his face. "I mean why the fuck do you think that I didn't bring her around anyone? Because she would hit on them like the biggest slut."

"Well now we know where you get your ways Casonova." I replied.

"What the hell do you mean?" he asked.

"You flirt with everyone. Anything with two sets of lips."

"I don't flirt." he lied.

"Horse shit!" Gemma said. For once she actually agreed with me. "You do flirt a lot."

"Well as long as it just stays as flirting." I said with my arms folded. It got really quiet between Gemma and Tig. They both didn't look at me nor look at each other. Their attention drifted between the floor and the ceiling. Both weren't that interesting at the moment but this spectacle was.

"What?" I asked looking between the two of them. Tig and Gemma looked at each other and pretended like they didn't hear me. I rolled my eyes and leaned all my weight on one leg. "You heard me." I said to both of them.

Tig's eyes widened and he cocked his head to one side. "Hmm?"

"Stop playing dumb!" I exclaimed. "Now tell me if you did more than just flirt with other girls."

"Yeah." he said almost immediately then shrugged. I glared at him. "Oh really?" I asked tapping my foot, but I don't think he got the hint. He nodded. "Anything else? I should know about?" Gemma scooted away from us, but that's okay I only wanted to talk to him.

"Like?" Tig asked.

"Like have you had any sexual contact with another female besides me?" I asked.

"Do you want the truth or do you want some answer that will make you feel secure?" he asked me. Oh no this son of a bitch didn't. I was too angry for words. I think I was actually yelling at this point and believe me I was too angry to censor my emotions.

"I want you to give me some fucking truth because I obviously didn't get it before!"

"Sssh." Tig said. "You want the whole clubhouse to hear you?"

"I don't give a fucking shit! So you're telling me that you slept with other women or somethin'?" I asked. The Brooklyn accent was starting to come out.

"I didn't sleep with all of them." Tig said rubbing his temple. My mouth fell open and the next thing I knew my hand collided with his cheek.

Hard.

I mean real hard.

So fucking hard that my hand was tingling.

Tig touched the spot where I hit him and glared at me. "Don't hit me again." he warned, his voice was low and slightly scary, but I'm scarier.

"You fucking cheating, lying _puta_!" I yelled. Tig pulled me by the arm and dragged me away from the attention of Charlotte and the club. I tried to pull him off of me but he was bigger and stronger than me and I couldn't fight him off. He took me to his apartment and slammed the door. His room wasn't clean but lived in. Then again he really wasn't much of a cleaner but he was way better than his dad.

"Why are you freaking out about this?" he asked me in a emotionless tone.

"Why are you so casual about this? Like this happens every goddamn day! You know how important honesty is to me! Now why couldn't you just tell me? Why did you lie to me?"

"I didn't lie. I just didn't tell you."

"And this is alright? You are a _cabron_! You know what that is? A fucking bastard, _puta_!"

"You're being a bitch about this!"

"So it's okay for you to sleep with these _chocho_'s?"

"I'm just fucking them, it's not like I want to be with them or anything." Tig said folding his arms acting like I was annoying him.

"Oh okay." I said with a nod calmly. "So you it's okay for me to sleep with other guys as long as I'm not goin' to have an emotional relationship with them?"

"Fuck no." he said. "You sleep with another guy and-."

"You'll what? Hmm? We're already split up! You want me to sign some divorce papers too? I'll bring up old shit and make sure Dawn never sees you!"

He didn't say anything he just listened. His arms were folded and his lips were pressed tightly together, but those blue eyes were on me like a hawk on its prey. "Do what you want." He finally said.

"I'm tired of this Alex. I'm fucking tired of it." I felt like I was going to cry, but I wasn't going to cry out of sadness, just frustration. As much as I wanted to hit him again I knew what was going to happen if I did and if he did there wouldn't be a time where I wouldn't hit him back. We stood there silently waiting for the other to say something. I finally walked to the door. "I got to go pick up Dawn from the baby sitters." Tig refused to move.

I glared at him and said in a warning voice. "Get out of my way." He stood his ground for several seconds not breaking eye contact and slowly but surely he stepped out of my way. "_Besame el culo_." I muttered as I left.

"Could you please just curse at me in English?" he snapped.

I ignored the concerned looks of the club and Charlotte and made my way to my fixed car. I paid off the renovations, put the key in the ignition and took off. I honestly wasn't that surprised or upset. Just angry. Our relationship kept sinking into a pit of misery. It seemed like the only time we got along was when we were with Dawn. But the minute she went to sleep or went to the baby sitters we were completely different people.

I fucking hate this shit.


	49. Strange Fruit

_Enjoy_

_-Val_

* * *

Certain things in your life change you for the good, and some things change you for the worst. Dawn's birth was a life changing experience that I would never change for the world. To be honest, I never really had horrible experiences with life. Sure I had my downs and what not. I can name many days where I felt like shit and the world was going to end in a fiery blaze. The finale would be the ashes crashing at my feet and there would be nothing but a smokey rubble I could look back on. However I managed to pull through with the help of good friends and most importantly my family who have the patience to deal with my craziness.

Although I never had some sort of tragic event that happened to me such as I didn't witness a murder, get involved in one, no one raped me, no one tortured me, beat me as a child, verbally abused me, or showed me emotionally scaring things when I was too young. Pretty much I'm not one of the masses of women who play the sympathy card to prove that their not crazy and just blame it on an event that maybe did or did not happen. I didn't think something like that could happen to me. I mean think about it, how often do you lie awake at night before you rest your head on your Walmart brand pillow and wonder. "I bet tomorrow, something real bad is going to happen and I'll probably break my collar bone, two ribs and burn twenty percent of my body in a horrible car accident. Yep, just you wait."

Of course you don't. Not unless you're a paranoid freak or whatever.

But anyway.. I digress.

So those neo Nazis that tried to kidnap me a couple of weeks ago I totally forgot about. I figured they were just a bunch of punks who messed with the wrong crazy bitch. Hopefully I taught them a lesson they shouldn't forget. They could've picked on Ms. Bones the voodoo lady from Haiti who lives up the street from my moms house. That would be so much worse than getting hit in the head with the leg of a chair. Quite frankly though it did shake me up a bit. Not just for my safety but the safety of my child. I was paranoid for a week and a half, but after that my care started to shift to the opening of my restaurant and most importantly Dawn's 1st birthday party.

Anna Mae, Mama, and Cassius came by Tig's place where we were going to have the party. Of course we had to invite SAMCRO. I mean that would be like Biggie walking into a club without his posse. It just doesn't happen and if it does take pictures because you'll never see that again. But even if I did care, Tig wouldn't have it any other way. I only agreed to it because I promised him that I'd keep my crazy mother away from him. In all honesty my mom wanted me to leave the country and find me a Puerto Rican man that would be willing to take Dawn in. If you're wondering why the sudden move? I told her about his infiedlity. That was the worst decision of my life. And by the way I don't want my pretty baby being raised so close to Cuba.

Fuck that.

I barely talked to Tig since he told me that he's cheated on me left, right and side ways. Little conversations about the party, Dawn and some money issues, but I refused to engage in any sort of conversation that required me to express any sort of opinion toward him.

We started setting up banners and making food for the party later that afternoon when Tig came in. I was cutting the strawberries and he smelled like beer and cigars. i could tell he hadn't worked on any cars today. He normally smelled like oil but he probably took the day off. I perfer oil over beer and cigars.

Yuck.

"Let me help with something." he said immediately taking off his sunglasses and placing them in the front pocket of his cut.

"No." I said. "You just sit over there and complain about how we're setting up everything wrong."

"Jesus Apples," he said rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Just let me do something."

I shoved some cucumbers to him and gave him a knife. "We need some for the salad."

"Thank you!" he snapped, pulling out a chair and was about to get ready. I stared at hi and looked up and down from him to the cucumbers. "Now what?" he replied. Dumbass. He forgot the first rule of proper kitchen manners. It's a unwritten rule that you're suppose to wash your hands before you touch the food, refridgerator, drinks, cups etc. It's goes under the same written rule like you're never suppose to go into someone else's fridge. Was this dude raised by wolves or something?

"Uhm.." I started. "Wash your hands please." I replied.

Tig glared at me and stood up fast, shoving his chair backa few inches. He stomped towards the sink and washed his hands, dried them on the towel and walked back. "Happy?"

"Yes."

"Any other interuptions?"

"Nope."

"Good."

"Oh, shut up." I replied. I didn't give any consideration that he was a killer holding a knife. I probably should've toned down on the insults a bit, but I didn't care at that point. We sat in awkward silence with nothing but the sound of Cassius and Anna Mae talking while they put up the banners and the knife hitting the cutting board. I watched him cut the cucumbers very delicately, not like a man but like more on the lines of a housewife.

"How did you learn to cut so well?" I asked, not looking at him but the strawberry.

"My mom." He said. "She made me cut the vegetables for dinner. Mother and son time or whatever"

"Oh." I said.

There was another moment of silence when Cassius came in to the kitchen. The man looked tired. The dark circles under his eyes were becoming more prevelant on his face. He has taken on so much responsibility after his wife had been in the looney bin. "Hey." He said, leaning on the kitchen entry. "We ran out of tape me and Anna Mae are going to grab some more okay?"

"Alright." I said with a smile. He smile back, that seemed to help a bit.

"Are you okay to be alone with-." He didn't need to finish the sentence because his eyes were directly on Tig. Tig felt the dagger eyes and stared back at Cassius with seething rage. Cassius was protecting me like a big brother would and as tempting as it was to see them battle it out I shook my head. "I'm fine." I said.

He nodded then stared at Tig. "You wanna say something?" Cassius stopped leaning on the wall and pushed his shoulders back, like he was going to square up to him. Tig didn't even seem threatened. He stared at him blankly and played with the knife in his hands. "No, I don't. You have anything to say?"

"Nope, I'm cool."

Cassius glared at Tig for a few seconds then started to make his way to the door to buy some more tape. I know he was still incredibly pissed that Tig cheated on me throughout the entire relationship. Mama had decided it would be in my best interest if she told my brother who was hell bent on being the one to kill Tig that he was unfaithful throughout the relationship. Honestly, I wish mother could keep her damn mouth shut. Oh well I suppose. Cassius is a smart guy, he wouldn't act unless he needed to. Or if he got the taste of blood.

After several minutes of silence, cutting and praying that someone else would step through the door to make it any less awkward I decided to make small talk.

"Um, so Dawn is starting to get the hang of walking?"

"Oh?" he asked with a small smile on his face.

"Yeah." I chuckled. "Mom still likes holding onto her."

"So do I."

"I know."

We returned to cutting in silence, and I cleared my throat to try and fill up the silent gap but it did very little good. It seemed to work in the movies, I guess it doesn't apply to reality. "I can't believe it has been a year already." I replied it started off as a thought but I said it loud enough for him to assume I was making a feeble attempt to make conversation.

"I know." He said, finishing the first cucumber and dumping it in the salad bowel, then started cutting a second one.

"Before you know it she'll be dating. She's going to be a heartbreaker." I said with a chuckle.

"Yeah she'll be a heartbreaker alright. When her dad wont allow her to date until she's married."

I stopped cutting the strawberries and placed a sliced piece into my mouth. "That's not exactly fair is it?" I said throug the bits of strawberry in my mouth. I chewed it up and swallowed.

"It doesn't have to be fair. You think I want her to turn out as weird and goofy as one of those sweet butts."

It left a bad taste in my mouth to start talking about the sweet butts knowing that he screwed probably all of them. Even the one that looks like Morticia Adams. Are you really that desperate to sleep with someone who dyes their hair jet black, wears pancake make up and barely uses her facial muscles. "Yeah." I said through gritted teeth.

"I'll keep Dawn here for a few hours then I'll take her to moms and be back alright?"

Tig nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

* * *

During the party while everyone was cooing and awing over Dawn and she basked in the attention at every little cute and adorable thing she did I couldn't help but think of how badly Dawn was missing Tig. She missed being around him, being in his arms and giving him slobbery kisses. I missed the company. Dawn was now a twenty four hour job. At least with Tig around I could get in a few hours by myself to do the laundry or just to take a power nap. He would take breaks from the club just to be with his baby girl. Now it was hard to have to be all by myself trying to raise her.

Dawn was walking to him holding out a cracker she had been nibbling on to Tig so he could hate a bite. "Is that for me?" he asked her with a smile. She smiled back and handed it out to him. He leaned down close to her face and bit down on the cracker. "Thank you." he said. Dawn wobbled her way to Gemma next. At first she was busy making conversation with Chibs about what the fuck ever. It wasn't until Dawn pulled on her jeans. Gemma smiled and leaned down to the cracker in Dawn's hands. She broke off a small piece with her fingers and ate it. "Thank you." she said sweetly.

Dawn went off to save another soul from being hungry that was until Cassius decided to play Airplane fight with her. He would pick her up and start flying her around the room. Dawn would be laughing so hard her face was turning red.

She was even cuter when I brought in her cake. I made the chocolate cake specifically because its the only cake Tig and I could agree on. He didn't liike Red Velvet cake so we didn't do that. I'm not a big fan of vanilla or white cake because its boring. He said get something weird like cheese or carrot cake. Yeah, how fucking gross. So we decided on chocolate cake. Either way Dawn seemed more fascinated that the cake was hers. She kept pointing to it and then pointing to herself. I placed her by the cake so she could get a closer look. Boy, was that a mistake.

"Dada. Mama." she said pointing to the cake, then pointing to Tig. Then before we could react she slammed her hand into the cake and pulled a choclate icing fist out and started licking it. The first thing we all did was laugh. Dawn enjoyed her chocolate fist and continued eating. She even offered Tig some. What a crazy little girl.

After we passed out the cake, and Dawn played around with Cassius and blabbered in her baby talk to Tig and the others she started to lose steam. She curled into Tigs arm and started to stare off.

"Little one is ready for a nap." I said walking over to Tig and picked her up. She fell into my arms, leaning her head on my shoulder. A chorus of awes followed me as I walked toward the door. These MC brothers could beat a man to death with their bare hands but put a baby in front of them, everything is cute. "I'll be back soon." I assured. As I headed toward the door Tig was at my heels. I tried to ignore him for a bit until I reached to the car, but I didn't look at him.

"Apples." He said. I didn't turn around, instead I focused on putting Dawn in her still car seat and closed the door. "Hmm?" I asked finally facing him and leaning my weight to one side.

"You want someone to take you home?"

"No. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."

"I know," he replied, looking at Dawn through the window of the back seat. In those blue eyes he was suffering. He loved Dawn more than life itself and it pained him for her to be taken away from him. "I just want to make sure she gets home okay."

"She will. I'll call you once she gets home alright?" I said.

He wasn't content with the decision. I'm sure if he wasn't worn out from the party and his little hyperactive rug rat, he'd put up more of a fight. But he eventually nodded. "Alright. Be careful." He agreed.

I smiled and wrapped an arm around his body. He stood there shocked for a second at my action. I was grateful for him letting me have the party at his place and I was grateful for him being there for his daughter on her birthday. He slowly wrapped an arm around me and kissed my cheek. "Be safe." He said.

I smiled weakly and stepped into my car, turned the ignition and drove off. If I could be blunt that kiss seemed more lustful than just affection. We hadn't had sex since our first fight which had been months. Maybe I would get lucky when I dropped Dawn off. Then it hit me, he fucked so many different women throughout the relationship. That would be compromising myself. Well that thought ended pretty quickly.

I made my way carefully back to the apartment, but still pretty quickly. I could feel myself growing tired from the party planning and the party itself. I debated whether to endure another story about Jax's past from Gemma or just decide to retire early to bed. The latter seemed like the better idea, but I still wasn't quite ready to go to bed yet. I was just tired.

Home was only a few stairs away as I picked up Dawn from the backseat and walked up the flight of stairs. I had my key out in one hand and my baby girl in the other when, I heard a sharp click and a pressure against the back of my head. I froze instantly and looked from the corner of my eye. I saw a sharp black 'SS' tatted on his muscular arm. "Turn around slowly."

Shit! The crazy crackers have come out!

I swear, Lord if I get out of this I'll never deny Tig's help again. I kept saying that prayer over and over in my head. Maybe hoping that some sort of luck would come and save me again.

"Turm the fuck around." he warned again.

I slowly turned around to face him, holding Dawn tightly in my arms. The man holding the gun was the same beady eyed pasty ass motherfucker that was driving the get away van when that sorry asshole tried to attack me.

"I don't have any money." I said calmly, well as calmly as I could make out. "Just leave me and my daughter alone okay?"

"I don't want your fucking money, half spic." He said taking me by the arm and shoving me down the stairs.

"Watch it you fucking dick!" I exclaimed as I made my way slowly down the stairs. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Shut up!" he screamed and shoved me out the front door and to a van that skidded to where we stood. The shit head was slightly distracted from the dimwit who tried to attack me earlier, so I debated whether to make a run for it, to defend my child or just stay there and watch myself get killed. If it were only me the decision would be obvious to run. But I didn't want them to shoot me or Dawn. Especially Dawn. I'd never forgive myself if something happen to her.

But I couldn't let them take my daughter. Either way I was fucked. I started to make a run for it, slowly. My feet started moving backward and I tucked Dawn into my chest tightly and soon before they realized it I took off.

"Hey come back!" The Shithead yelled. "Goddamnit! Get her!"

This made my adrenaline pump and my feet move faster than they ever have before. My black hair was in my eyes but I didn't care. My lungs constricted, and my muscles ached, but I kept running. My eyes darted to a safe place, but all I received were closed shops, and dark windows. All of a sudden I heard the sound of a large BANG and I fell to the ground. I turned my body on my back, to see Dawn. She looked up at me with curious blue eyes. They were tearing up badly like she was going to cry at any moment. My attention drifted up toward the night sky and soon my vision starts to darken.

"Shit." I said fighting the darkness in my vision.

* * *

_Review?_

_-Val_


	50. Mixed Breed

I slowly woke up to feel the ground moving underneath me. My head kept hitting something hard and wet. It smelled like the clubhouse, but why would it be moving? I thought it was a dream at first until I opened my eyes and saw the barrel end of a gun pointed at me from my left and right side. I rationalized that it had to have been a dream, what fucker would point a gun at me? I hadn't done anything yet to anyone. Why would a gun be pointed at me? I wasn't worried until I recognized the faces then it all came back to me.

Those Neo Nazi fuck heads kidnapped me and Dawn-.

Wait, Dawn!

I started to look around, turning my aching head to look for my baby. My heart was thumping in my ears and was slowly sliding down to my ass. I prayed that they didn't leave her out on the street. Even though they were pointing their guns at me I still sat up. Slowly but it was more important to make sure my the Bunny was okay. To my relief I saw my baby trying to stand up in the van. She wobbled and fell right on her butt.

"Dawn!" I exclaimed, she turned in my direction and crawled her way towards me. "Mama."she said. I swooped her up in my arms and held her close. I examined her carefully using the moonlight as my guide. She looked okay just panicked. Her cheeks were wet with tears and she curled into me, whimpering and crying as she did so. My heart went out for her. I knew being attached to this life would have its downers but never did I think it would be like this and for it to have been Dawn too. I wish it had been Tig, or Gemma. Hell, all of the sweetbutts would've been fine just not my baby.

"I'm sorry baby." I said into her ear. "It's going to be okay, you hear? Mommy isn't gonna let anything happen to you."

"Shut up!" One of the Nazi shits said.

He was the bigger one. I recognized his voice. Ed, the idiotic one on the left. The dumb ass who tried to attack me before. Anger swelled up inside of me. Not only the anger that they had kidnapped me and my daughter but for everything they stood for. I always said I hated things and people but never did I really know the meaning of that word until I saw my little Dawn crying in my arms.

"You shut up!" I snapped before I could think. "I'm trying to talk to my daughter-." I felt a strong kick in the back from the shithead to the right.

"Whistler!" Ed yelled. "We can't hurt her too bad!" For three seconds I liked the bumbling bafoon but then I realized he fucking kidnapped me, along with his racist inbred friends.

"Since when did you grow a heart for the bitch?" Whistler growled, looking at me then looking back at Ed.

Ed remained quiet and held his gun firmly in his hand. I glared at both of them, while stroking Dawn's hair. Whistler I could tell was the more fanatic one of the group, because of the pure hatred stare I got from him and he had his arm covered in tattoos with swastikas and Nazi shit. I glared at him back. We both were staring daggers at each other, not breaking contact until he finally said. "I hope you enjoyed the beer puddle." I touched my hair down to my back and it was soaked. No wonder it smelled like the clubhouse.

"That's disgusting." I replied. I scooped my hand into the puddle of beer that he put me in and splashed it at him. "Ya don't like it so fucking much do ya?"

"Jesus!" he screamed, and started kicking at me. I protected Dawn tightly in my arms from the blows and gritted my teeth against the pain. I dug my nail into the palm of my fist to try and keep from screaming outloud.

"That hurts!" I yelled.

"Good! Fucking spic!" Whistler said, spittle spaying on my face and especially my forehead. I could feel the bruises that he left coming through on my body but my left leg had a sharp pain tingling all throughout a particular spot.

I reached out to feel for the pain. I felt something wet and sticky coming through my jeans. My heart was thumping in the worry of the damage. The bullet that tripped me hit my fucking leg. "Shit." I said. I put pressure on my leg to see if it was broken. Thank God there wasn't broken but it just burned like the fires of hell. I was quiet for a few minutes holding Dawn close to my chest. I wasn't scared of them, I knew Tig and the crew would be here soon but it was the mystery of what was happen until then. Cassius was the first to tell me that if I didn't look scared then it scares the other people. But if you were acting nervous and cowardly then they'll think you're soft. I finally had the balls to turn to Ed and ask. "So where are you taking me?"

"Can you just shut up and cry or something?" he said sharply, like he was trying to be intimidating.

I rolled my eyes. "Just tell me what you want. Money? Clothes? A gym membership?" I asked, noticing what a gluttonous fuck he was..

"SHUT UP!" Ed yelled pointing the gun at me still.

"When my old man finds out about this, oh you'll get it hard." I said through my teeth. Whistler chuckled to himself. "Well we're counting on him not going crazy when he finds his beamer bitch and his little mixed breed spawn are in our hands."

"Don't you have something else to do than pick on old ladies and their children?" I asked looking up at him with a glare. He kicked me again but this time I was ready for him. I moved just in time and punched him as hard as I could in the groin. He hunched over in pain but before I could even reach for the gun in his outstretched hand, Ed pulled me by the hair and slammed me back into the side of the van, face fucking first. I hit my nose pretty badly and could feel the blood rushing to down to my mouth. That fucking iron taste got into my gums and on my tongue. When I recovered, I checked Dawn's head and neck and judging by her crying she was scared but not hurt.

Whistler grabbed me again and as badly as he wanted to pound my face in he didn't, instead he took his blows on my stomach. He punched me to my sides. He kept hitting me over and over. I clenched my teeth in pain, trying to protect Dawn from his blows, but also trying to fight from dropping her. He yelled at me in a stream of curses and racial slurs at me, but I didn't' care. I did my best to try and comfort Dawn, but she wouldn't stop crying. When he was finished I could hear the words she was trying to say to me.

"Dada!" She kept saying through distressing cries. "Dada!"

"Sssh." I said, stroking her curly black hair. "Dada isn't here."

Her lip quivered and her blue eyes started to fill up with tears again. She whimpered and coughed but she seemed stopped the hysterics. She clinged to me tightly, digging her head under my chin. "I love you." I said gently to her.

* * *

I convinced Ed that if I walked down into the cold, dark basement that I wouldn't fight. I didn't want them to throw me down the stairs and run the risk of hitting Dawns head. Ed agreed but he watched me carefully. That gun was pointing toward me. Something in the back of my head told me to wait, I would have my turn for revenge. By the time I reached the basement I tried to know my surroundings. Especially at night. Just to have one advantage over those sons of bitches. Maybe it was the ancestors I lost that motivated me, to not become a victim. It was probably living in Oakland as well that pushed the survival instinct. Then again it could be the influence of SAMCRO as well. I think that maybe it was a mix. I thank whoever is up there that I wasn't raised soft like most of these chicks nowadays. Dawn was thrown into it but she had to be strong too.

"Alright baby girl." I said walking through the darkness. "We're just going to have to bear in this together. You and I kid. I know its not fair of me to ask you of this, and I know it seems cruel, but you can't be a baby now. You're going to survive this and when it's over I'll make sure this never happens again. Just get through this with me. Alright?"

I curled her into my arms and closed my eyes. Dawn sniffled and whimpered into my chest but somehow she understood the situation and didn't cry. She wrapped her tiny hands around my hair and I started humming to her. Rocking her gently into my arms.

* * *

_I know its short but I couldn't leaving you guys hanging. Yes or No, should I write from Tig's POV? Don't forget to review. _

_-Val_


	51. Manslaughter Tig's POV

_You wanted and you asked for it. Here's Tigs POV. It gives two sides to the story. Enjoy._

_-Val_

* * *

Where is the crazy bitch? I kept asking over and over and fucking over. I knew I should've just gone with her in the first place. I swear on my mother if she fell asleep and didn't tell me my Dawn didn't get in the house safely. What the fuck was with her?

I was pacing by the phone, looking fucking crazy. I was fucking crazy with rage, but no one even dared to say a word. Not even Gemma.

Fuck it I was calling her again.

I probably called her sixteen times by now but who was counting? She didn't even pick it up of course. Not even The Big Bitch (her mother) picked up. It just kept ringing and ringing and ringing until I heard the goddamn answer machine again. "Hey it's Apples and Dawn…. Say hi Dawn."

"Hi." I heard my baby girl say with that giggle she always had.

"We can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message after the tone."

Beep.

"WHERE ARE YOU?" I screamed and threw the phone in whatever direction I could. I heard it crash and land some where near Juice, I think.

"Tig." Gemma said, calmly putting her hand on my shoulder. "You have to calm down. She's probably stuck in traffic or on her way. Getting angry is not going to help."

Fuck that.

"I'm going to go check on her. At least her mom could pick up the goddamn phone." I said walking towards the door, full charge ready to kill until I saw some lanky kid knocking at my door. Now fucking what? I ripped open the door and told him in whatever way, that I didn't give a shit what he was selling and I already know Jesus and right now I wish he'd use his magical healing powers to just give me my daughter back. "What!"

He stared at me with a dumb look on his face and looked down at a piece of paper, then looked up at me. "Forgive me for intruding sir but does a Tig Trager live here?" He talked in a southern or Cajun accent or whatever. The point was he wasn't from Charming.

"Yeah why?" I asked him.

"I got this address from Apple's office-."

"Did you have anything to do with this?" I snapped.

"No sir. I came over here as quick as I could-."

"Then get the shit out of your goddamn mouth and tell me what you want!" Gemma placed a hand on my arm and pulled me out of the way. She gave me that look she always gave me when I was going too far. I don't tell her enough, but she is the one of the few balances in this club. I needed a drink.

"Let the boy speak, Tig." She said. She motioned him to come inside and take a seat. "Do you want a beer or something?"

"Yes ma'am." He said wiping the sweat from his brow. He quickly walked inside and headed towards my kitchen, and took a seat in one of the chairs closer to the table with food but he didn't even touch a chip. At least he was taught some manners back in Bayou. Cassius the asshole took a seat beside the kid. He kept it pretty well hidden but he looked just as pissed off as I was. Gemma popped open the cap and handed him a cold one. "Thank you Ms…?"

"Gemma." She said with her hand extended.

"Thank you Ms. Gemma. Remy." He said giving her hand a shake. "Remy D'amours-."

"Alright, alright, alright. So what happen?" I asked trying to be calm, but I was clenching my jaw so fucking tight that it hurt. He took a sip and finally said. "I was walking to my motel room when I saw a bunch of big guysfighting. So I kept on watching, just to see what would happen when I saw them dragging a woman away. She looked familiar and she had a kid with her. I figured out it was Apples but before I could do anything to stop it, they had taken Apples and her baby girl away."

"WHAT?" Cassius and I said in the same time.

"Who was it?" Cassius yelled.

Remy shrugged. "I don't know sir. I saw one of them with some sort of Nazi symbols on his arm when he was driving away. I didn't know what to do but get to you, so I got your address out of her office and-."

"Why didn't you call?" Gemma asked.

"I tried, but by the time I got to the phone in her office, the home phone was busy."

"Goddamnit!" I said punching a wall, nearly cracking my fucking hand open. "Fucking Nords."

"Are you sure they were Nords?" Gemma asked Remy ignoring Cassius and I.

"Yes ma'am. That man looked mean. He could make a preacher cuss."

Cassius slammed his hand on the table, his hard ass stare directed at me. "So let me get this straight. You know these people?"

"Yeah so what?"

"It's your fucking fault this happened to Dawn and Apples then."

Who was this fucking spic thinks he's talking to? So it's my fault that Darby is a fucking lunatic and kidnapped my daughter? Yeah right, it's all my fault.

"My fault? How is it my fault? I ain't friends with him! Darby is a fucking nut! This isn't my fault!"

"Please everyone knows the Sons and the Nords work hand in hand-."

"Where did you get that shit from? Nords don't deal with the Sons. They stay out of Charming and-. How the hell is it my fault?"

"I don't know, I don't care. You obviously did something to irritate that bastard! It's your goddamn fault!"

"Easy to blame me, right? Blame me for everything that's wrong! Is it my fault that your old lady is a nut too?"

Cassius threw his chair back. "That's it! I'm kicking your ass and making Dawn fatherless!" I could use a punching bag. I was ready for him, but Gemma placed herself in the middle of both of us.

"Enough fighting. We're wasting time with this shit! Now everybody calm down or so help me God I will kick both of your asses! Understand?"

We both didn't do anything of course. We both knew not to mess with Gemma when she was pissed off. Remy sipped his beer quietly and got out of his seat. "Tig and uh." He asked looking at Cassius

"Cassius!" Cassius barked.

"Cassius." he said calmly and continued. "Now you two gentlemen obviously love Apples and Dawn a great deal. It would be best if you two remain calm and try to work together to get them back. Every second we waste is another second that may lead to something worse." Shit, I didn't want to think about that. "So, we have to make a plan."

"We go to Darby and beat the truth out of him." I said, turning on my heel getting ready to pull out my best guns.

"Tig, sir." Remy said. "You're a dime holdin' up a dollar."

"I'm a what?" I asked turning around, but he ignored me.

"We can't go in there like cowboys. They might hurt Apples and Dawn in the process. We have to plan this out."

"He's right." Gemma said with her hands on her hips. Clay finally spoke taking his spot as the leader of the club. Clay walked to the front of the commotion and folded his arms. "Damn straight. Now I say let's just go back to the clubhouse, get things settled, get ourselves armored and then we can go after Darby."

I shook my head. If it was Gemma he'd be halfway to Darby's with a gun in both hands, shooting up the goddamn place and he's telling me to wait. Hell no! My baby girl safety is in the hand of those fucking idiots. No telling what they'd do to her. And I'm not going to sit and wait for them to do it.

"No, I'll go there. I'll get Darby and then I'm going to kill those shithead crackers with my bare hands. God help them if theres a little scratch on Dawn."

"But sir." Remy said adding his two cents into everything. So help me God if he brings one of those redneck sayings to my face one more time... "How do you know there's not an army of them waiting for you. You can't go alone."

"The hell I can't." I said on my way to get my guns again. Each and every single one of those bad boys.

Clay sighed. "Brother," he said. By habit I turned around to him addressing me. I wasn't happy that I turned around, I should've just kept on moving but I didn't. "We don't know what we're up against and you can bet all of us feel your pain. Dawn is a darling and Apples is a treasure too. She doesn't deserve this. No old lady in my club is going to treated like a victim, but we owe it to them to make sure we get this right the first time. We need men. A lot more muscle than what we have."

I shook my head and started to go back to get my guns again. As I passed by I could hear the other Sons muttering and Anna Mae starting to cry her eyes out. It wasn't until I heard a door open and Spanish jibber jabber in my ear. Shit, it was the mother duck of the Rican clan.

"Alex." I heard her say between cries. Cassius had his arm already around her and a used tissue was already to her face wiping her tears. "I tried looking for her. She didn't call or anything. I should've stayed up but I was so sleepy, but in her car, her purse, Dawn's bag was in the back." She blew her nose and started again. "I walked down the street a bit and I saw some blood on the sidewalk. I think she tried to run and they... hurt her. I just sat there and cried...called the police...and cried. What are the cops going to do...nothing..."

I stopped and walked closer to Rosario. Goddamn, she was short. I pretty much had to bend down to look at her. Her eyes were red and she was shaking. "My baby.." she said before she started to break down again. "You better bring my baby back." She said. "And I want them dead. All of them. And you crazy rednecks better bring them both back... alive." At first I didn't know what to do but stare at her. So I gave her a hug.

Never hugged the woman before, but I did.

She actually hugged me back too. She didn't call me anything in Spanish or push me back and scrunch up her face. She wasn't the Big Bitch anymore. Just Rosario a mother who was worried sick about her kid and grandkid.

"Alright." I said seperating myself from Rosario. "Let's hurry up though, and I'm still getting my guns." I said heading to my bedroom. I grabbed everything that I could fit into a duffel bag. Hand guns, shot guns, rifles, AK's, and whatever else. I didn't give a shit. I was packing like fucking Rambo. I grabbed my favorite picture of Dawn before I left the room.

She wanted to make a chocolate cake for Charlotte, but she loved the icing so much she dunked her head in what was left of it like Iggy does with his food bowel. Then she wiped the icing from her hands on my face when I picked her up. I rarely walked out of the room without looking at it. I stuffed it in my pocket and headed out the door.

My little Bunny.

* * *

While I was on my bike on the way to the clubhouse I kept thinking about how bad Darby was gonna get it. I would massacre him and hang him on a stick for the rest of Charming to see. And I don't give a shit about the court system. If some up tight white collar bastard wants to take me to court, it's fucking on! And I would wear my cut the entire trial too. No one cares about a fucking skinhead with a bad reputation for violence. Hopefully the most I would get is manslaughter. Or I'll temporarily insanity.

When we got to the clubhouse I saw one of the sweet butts… uh whatshername ran outside and yelled at the top of her lungs "Hey!"

"What?" Clay asked parking his bike and turned off the ignition.

"Someone is on the phone for you!" she yelled.

"Who?" Jax asked.

"Tig I think!" she said.

Shit. What now?

I got off my bike and headed toward the phone that lied on the bar. At first I didn't want to answer it. Hell, I was tempted to hang it up. I figured it was my mom making her usual late night weekend calls, but I answered it anyway. "Mr. Trager? I got someone who wants to talk to you."

My heart fucking dropped.

* * *

_Don't forget to review. It makes the updates quicker._

_-Val_


	52. Phonecall

I had finally gotten Dawn to sleep. I didn't place her on the ground in fear of what was there. Bugs, dirt for all I know those fuck heads could've pissed on the floor. Instead I kept her in my arms as I felt around the place. Trying to memorize what was there in the darkness. I almost tripped over a few things and I took note of what they were. I counted my step carefully memorizing every single detail.

112

113

114- Metal object.

115

116

117

118- Back where I started. Good. Now again. I was tired of course.

I had been doing this for about a couple of hours. Sometimes the number would change but it was fine. My eyes started to adapt and I could make out some shapes from the creaks of light from the street lamps outside.

I heard them moving around upstairs. Walking, stopping, and over again. I was used to it after awhile, but when I heard one of them coming down stairs, I ducked under the stair case, holding Dawn tightly, but carefully so not to disturb her. Heavy footsteps went down the stairs quickly. Through the staircase I saw pudgy legs and to my relief it was only the gluttonous fairy boy Ed. I pressed Dawns face to my chest to keep her quiet. He walked down the stairs and looked for me.

"Please don't find me. Please don't find me." I kept saying under my breath.

He looked around for a few minutes and called up the stairs. "Whistler! Mute! I don't see her!"

Whew.

"Did you turn on the damn light, dumbass?" Whistler called down.

"Oh. Sorry." He said, walking up the stairs and turning on the light. I was temporarily blinded by the light and didn't see Ed coming toward me.

Damn, damn, damn.

"Hey!" he said grabbing at me. I kicked him hard in the shins and tried to make a run for it but he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me up the stairs. I held tightly onto Dawn and tried to maintain my balance on the staircase while he pulled. "Ouch!" I said as he pulled my hair. I tried to pull back but he yanked my head hard. "Goddamn bitch." he barked at me. Dawn was awake by now and she started crying her little eyes out. When we got to the final step he jerked me toward the floor. If I didn't catch myself on my shoulder I would've fallen on Dawn and damn near crush her. She tried to keep her crying contained but she could tell Ed was hurting me and there was nothing she could do but cry.

I made sure she was okay in my arms but before I could recover myself but the gluttounous skinhead grabbed me by the back of the neck and dragged me to a bare room with only a broken down third hand couch that the quiet one was sitting on, a dirty carpet covered in cigarette ash and what smelled like dog pee. A phone was in the middle of the floor, I didn't know why but at this moment it was the least of my concern. I wrapped Dawn tightly in my arms again and kept my eyes on the three ntus.

"Alright cunt." Whistler replied to me. "You're gonna make a call to ya old man and you're gonna cry and beg for him to come get ya. Then we're gonna put the mut on the phone-."

"Are you referring to my kid?" I asked with one eyebrow raised. I held my jaw tight to keep myself from shaking. It was so hot in the room and I was sweating so badly I could feel the sweat coming down my backside. I wiped some beads of sweat from getting into my eyes but I didn't stop looking at Whistler.

"The mut? Yeah I'm talking about her-."

"Alright. So from now on when you mention my daughter you will call her Dawn and only Dawn. D-A-W-N. Just in case the inbreeding in your family effected your noggin."

**Smack**

I fell back hard and landed on a shitload of cigarette ash. The right side of my face stung badly and my vision was blurry. He may have taken me and my daughter but he wasn't going to degrade her and have my obidience. "You crazy son of a bitch." I said with a chuckle.

He stood over me and hit me again only fucking harder. Dawn started to cry louder and she wobbled over to Whistler and hit (or hit as hard as she could) at him whiole the tears flowed down her face. Whistler's glare was directed toward Dawn and his anger went to a new level. He raised his hand to her but before he could smack her I pulled her out the way and used my body as a shield. He slapped, punched and kicked at me. My baby was practically screaming by now, and I was doing my best to try and not cry myself. Another man pulled him off of me. I was almost positive it was Mute or whatever his name was.

"We have to keep the bitches in a good shape. We can't risk killing them-." Ed said.

"That bitch has a smart ass mouth!" Whistler excliamed struggling against Mute. "No spic is gonna talk to me that way."

"You claim we're barbarians?" I yelled. "You're animals! Some _hispanics_ us are illegal, yes. Some of us are criminals, yes. But you are ready to hurt us at any minute, just because we're not white? You preach Christian harmony, but you kidnapped a child and a woman? And we're barbarians? We didn't burn black churches, and sick attack dogs on protestors! We didn't hang anyone from a fucking tree to rot! We didn't kill twelve million people in a gas chamber and throw them in a furnance and spread their ashes like they never existed! We terrorize the life out of people because of their skin color! You are the barbarians not us! So if you wanted trouble cracker boy you got it! When Tig finds out you hit me and scared the life out of his baby, you will pay. And you'll pay so hard you'll wish he'd just shot ya. God help you if a little scratch is on Dawn! Anything that happens to you is too kind! You deserve every bad thing to happen to you and I want only bad things to happen to you!"

Whistler charged at me again, with the pure rage of the devil in his eyes. He hit me again with a closed fist. I heard a spine chilling crack and a horrible pain in my nose. He broke my fucking nose! "Great," I yelled half enraged, half laughing. "I wanted to have a nose like Joe Frazier!" I don't know what snapped in me but I started laughing my ass off.

"Shit." Ed said, panicked. "She's cracked!"

Blood was falling down my nose and to my mouth, but I didn't care. I flashed them a bloody grin and just laughed at them. A high pitch cackle if you will. I think those doctors and philosophers were right. The mind can only take so much at a time. In fact I didn't even realize I was laughing until Whistler grabbed me by the throat. "Get a fucking grip!" he exclaimed.

I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Fuck you cocksauce!" Whistler raised his hand to me but he eventually put his hand down realizing that I probably was just trying to get to him. "We're wasting time." Whistler said, letting go of me and dialing a number. "Now you're gonna make this damn call. The mixed breed will go first."

"Yes, Dawn will go first." I replied with a insane chuckle

Dawn had her face curled in my chest. She was whimpering but she stopped crying. I knew that once it was done she wouldn't remember but for now she was scarred. I didn't break eye contact with Whistler as he dialed the number and waited for someone to answer. He put it on speaker phone as it rang. "Hello?" A ditzy voice replied.

"Is Mr. Trager there?"

My heart dropped and I could feel the tears burning my eyes, but I pushed them back. I wasn't going to give these crazy crackers the satisfaction of seeing me cry my eyes out.

"Uh.." She said before popping her gum. "No he isn't.. Oh wait no he just pulled up. Who should I say is calling?"

"Tell him someone is on the phone."

"Uh, alright." she said before placing the phone down. A murmur of voices followed by someone hesitantly picking up the phone came by in what seemed like minutes. "Hello?" I heard his voice say.

"Mr. Trager you have someone who wants to talk to you."

Tig was silent for several seconds before saying. "Who is this?"

Whistler grabbed Dawn and yanked her from my arms. Dawn started balling out crying at the top of her lungs. I tried my best to grab her back but Whistler shoved me back hard.

"Dawn?" he exlaimed. "Dawn is that you?"

I was surprised she heard him over her screams. I damn near lost control by that time. "Dada!" she screamed. "Home Dada." I think she was trying to say but I wasn't sure, but I'm more than certain that's what she said.

"Bunny it's okay. Just be a strong little girl..." He didn't know what else to say. He was stuttering and stumbling over his words. Half of him was panicked, the other half was purely enraged. He was fighting to see what side had more control. "Is Mama there?" he finally asked like she was old enough to tell him.

"Dada!" she screamed before Whistler pulled me toward the phone. I seized that chance and grabbed it and took it off speaker phone. "Tig!" I screamed.

"Apples what the fuck is going on?" He pretty much yelled into the phone.

"Listen!" I yelled over him. "Dawn is okay, I'm fine too! There are three of them! Whistler, Ed, and some guy named Mute! Each is about six feet, one is fat, the other are medium build! They got guns! They're dangerous they tried to hit Dawn-." I yelled it as quickly as I could but before I could finish Whistler pulled me off the phone and shoved me down. I grabbed Dawn and held her close to me.

"You see they're fine Mr. Trager and if you want them to be safe you'll be a good little boy and won't do anything stupid. Come here by yourself to collect your spic bitch and you're mut. Y'all have a good day." He hung up the phone but before he did I heard yelling and curses like I never heard that would make any sailor blush. Whistler threw the phone at me and hiit me in the back with it. I tried to turn Dawn around in time before I could the handle of the phone hit her on the face, while I got the rest. "You see what you've just done you dirty cunt!" he screamed at me. "You've fucked everything up!" His boot collieded with my thighs and he started kicking me in the legs. The quiet one got up from his seat on the couch and pulled him away from me once again and pulled him away from me (yet again).

"Enough." he said. His voice was raspy and low. He barely talked above a whisper. "We've gone too far."

"No, no we hadn't. This is our time to take over Charming. Charming is our town-."

"You just banged up a Sons daughter and old lady. We took it way too far." Mute was quiet for a minute then started. "I saw Tig in prison once. Several years back. He ain't nothing to play with. Now he knows who we are."

"So?" Ed said.

"So, we've just signed our death certificates. You should've never laid a hand on her so severely." Mute looked down at me. Though I didn't see remorse for what he done I did see something a bit human. "Can you walk?" he asked me roughly.

"I can't move." I replied, sheltering my daughter from anymore blows.

"Look at me." Mute ordered.

I looked up at him. With no fear or remorse for anything that was coming to them, and he knew it. He then turned to Whistler. "Hope you're ready to fight boy." He walked over to me, and of course I dragged Dawn out of the way from him, but he picked me up and took me back down to the basement. Dawn was in my arms too of course. Right now it was the safest place. I could already see a bruise forming on her eye. She didn't cry though. Her lip stiffened and her stare was blank. My baby would never be the same.

Mute walked back upstairs and came back down shortly with a small bag of peanuts and water. He didn't say anything more, but before he left I asked. "I need to use the bathroom. And Dawn needs a diaper change." Mute nodded and turned on the light, picked me up again to this dirty shithole bathroom. He left the door open and stood by it even though his back was turned I didn't feel comfortable around these crazy motherfuckers. "I don't want no one looking at my baby girl. You might peak." I said. He rolled his eyes, sighed and closed the door shut.

I quickly pulled off my pants and squatted to pee. My ass was not going to be degraded anymore by going near the STD infected wasteland that was suppose to be my bathroom. I cleaned off the counter using what little soap and water they had left and placed her on it. I took off her dirty diaper that was covered in shit and pee, wiped and cleaned off her bottom with a piece of cloth I had taken from my under shirt and used my top shirt as a make shift diaper. She didn't complain even though it was uncomfortable and thank God she didn't.

I fixed my white under shirt with a large hole to the side and for the first time looked in my reflection. I was horrified. My nose was black and blue so was both my eyes. My face was covered in blood and cuts but I didn't care. I cleaned up the blood and rubbed cold water on my swelling nose. "Sweet Mary." I said finishing cleaning up. "Now I know why those racist whites never used colored bathrooms in the south. They were too clean." I smiled to myself at the joke and picked Dawn up. Before I walked out I noticed a toilet paper holder on the side of toilet. Then an idea struck me.

I heard a loud knock on the bathroom door. "Coming." I said, bending down to pick up the toilet paper roll and stuffing itin my pants and putting my shirt over it to cover it. Then quickly walked out.

When I passed Mute all I thought was how much I will make them suffer.


	53. Rage Tigs POV

I was blinded with pure fucking fury. I never felt such a rage before ever. All I could ever think about was the last thing that son of a bitch said to me. "Come here by yourself to collect your spic bitch and your mut." My mut? Dawn is not a mut! She's a beautiful little girl and has enough brains her tiny little finger than they have in their entire fucking body! "YOU INDBRED SHIT ASS SON OF A BITCH!" I dropped the phone and picked it up again. "FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER! I GOT YOUR GOOD FUCKING DAY RIGHT HERE ASS FUCK! CALL MY KID A FUCKING MUT? LIKE SHE WAS A GOD DAMN DOG? WE'LL SEE SHIT DICK! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS AND SKULL FUCK WHAT'S LEFT!" I'm pretty fucking sure he hung up by then but that didn't stop me from continuing, like a crazy man. Clay literally ripped me away from the phone like a mad dog off another one.

"Tig!" Clay screamed loudly in my ear. But that didn't stop me from yelling every god damn insult to that little cunt on the phone. Clay gave up with being nice and slapped me hard across the face. That was enough to get my attention. "Brother, calm the hell down."

"Fuck being calm! I already know who they are!" I said.

"You do?" Clay asked.

"Yeah. Whistler, Mute... and some guy named Ed."

"Apples told you?" Chibs asked. "Smart girl!"

"Are they okay?" Jax asked.

"Yes, Jax." I said with a forced smile on my face. "Just as peachy as any mother and kid could be when they've been kidnapped by a bunch of Hitler ass kissing Nazi's." Jax frowned at me and opened his mouth to say something, but Clay cut him off. "Alright, alright. Both of you. All of you. We need to discuss the next step now. Club meeting. Lets go."

I walked behind Clay, with every intention on not giving a shit about what any of my brothers had to say. Apples was the only thing protecting Dawn and that's not a comforting thing. Don't get me wrong, she's a spitfire but the woman is five feet, one hundred and ten pounds, and lots of mouth. The last thing I need is for something to happen to Dawn. God help them if Dawn even gets a boo boo.

I smoked a cigarette and vaguely listened to what any of my brothers had to say. What pissed me off the most was how god damn calm they were when talking about this. Why did I have to be calm? Their kid wasn't the one who was suffering. Their kids are sleeping in their little beds like little babies, not under the control of some wacko shit head. It took a lot of self control to not walk out of there gun in hand and give them something to talk about.

"So we got names." Clay said, lighting his cigar. "That's a good start. And we know their Nords because of their ink. All we have to do is figure out where they are."

"Theres three, to Apples knowledge, right?" Juice asked. "So it should be easy."

"Yeah," Jax said. "But we can't be certain. Apples only saw three. These skinheads got some nerve but they're not stupid. So theres got to be more. Just three masterminds. Darbys guys travel in packs."

"So we have to go to the top of the chart." Opie replied, finally putting his two cents into the conversation. "Get old Darby to talk."

"I don't think Darby would know." Jax asked.

That popped my fucking bubble. If he didn't know who did? We already wasted an hour maybe two (I lost count) by sitting around and pondering what should the next step be. It was time for bodies to hit the floor and the time was fucking now. "What makes you so sure?" I asked, trying to stay in control.

"I mean. Darby knows better than to mess with an old lady and her kid. Sounds more fanatic than Darby is. He has his beliefs but he's in it for the money. He doesn't like to get his hands dirty."

Did this kid really think he knew everything? Fuck that shit. He was only a few years younger than Apples and he was telling me what I know. "Darby mouthed off to my old lady, I had to beat him to a bloody fucking pulp. It sounds like good old revenge to me, kid."

Jax tightned his jaw. "Look, I understand what you're going through-."

"You son of a bitch what did you say to me?" I asked tightening my jaw and glaring at him.

"I said, I know what you're going through-."

"Did your old lady and your kid get snatched up?"

"No."

"Then you don't know what I'm going through dipshit!"

"I wasn't the one who kidnapped them Tig!" Jax exclaimed, jumping out of his seat. "Better watch what you say-."

"Kid," I said getting out of my chair and walking toward him. "I'll fuck you up so bad-." Clay leapt up and put both of his hands between us. "Hey!" he said over the insults we shouted. "I will not have this club divided. We have to work on this together. We're all under a lot of stress and we can't lose our cool."

I slowly sat back down and finished my cigarette. Bobby cleared his throat to settle the awkward feeling in the room. "Well I think that Tig may be right. Darby may not want to get his hands dirty but he isn't blissfully unaware of what his members are up to. I mean something this big would have to have been heard by someone and more than likely him."

"So why would they kidnap two people?" Juice asked. "To prove a point?"

"An exchange." I said. "Charming for my old lady and kid."

"That's a little lame." Juice muttered under his breath.

"What?" I snapped.

He looked like a Rican deer caught in the headlights. He smoothed his hair back and cleared his throat. "No disrespect but what makes them think we'd trade Charming for an old lady and a child."

"Because dumbass." I said. "It's either we go peacefully or we start a war. Starting with my family. Trust me they're ready to fight."

"I say we confront Darby, get the little lady and Dawn back, and come what may." Chibs said. "They're innocent."

"Agreed." A few voices said.

"Alright, so the first step is we find Darby." Clay said. "See what he knows, and go from there."

"This is taking too long." I said, getting up to leave. "We're wasting time chatting about it lets just get his shit over with."

"Tig." Clay said calmly. "I know. But we can't go cowboy. Just like the Bayou kid said. We got to be careful. Any wrong step could lead to the death of Dawn and Apples. I know you love your kid and your old lady but we have to get this right the first time."

"Yeah." I said sitting back down and put out my cigarette.

"Alright, all in favor for confronting Darby?"

Every member raised their hand and before the gavel was hit I was out of the door. i didn't care how disrespectful it seemed, but I had shit to do. I wa focused and ready to kill some sorry son of a bitch but just as I entered my zone I was interupted by Rosario. She wasn't crying anymore now she was mad. At least something was turning out to be normal. "What's taking so long?" she asked with her frown already in place, and her Napoleon complex stance was in place.

"My question, exactly." I said.

Rosario cleared her throat. "I was worried about Apples so I called someone." I didn't bother stopping or even asking but after several seconds I needed something to occupy my mind while I found my duffel bag in the midst of several of them. "Who?" I asked, finally finding my duffel bag. "Unser?"

"Laroy." she replied.

I dropped my duffel bag. "You did...what?"

"I had to." Rosario said her arms folded and staring back at me hard. "Did you expect me to lay down and watch you take baby steps to get my daughter. So I called him. He's waiting outside. He wants to talk to you."

I had nothing personal with Laroy it was business. Never thought of him as anything more until I found out my old lady was his best friend forever. Which brings concern on my part, not paranoia. Apples was convinced I was jealous. Just because I wanted to know if he stuck his black dick in her burrito? Then does that make me paranoid that I want to know who my old lady banged with back in the day. She told me nothing happen but I don't trust it for a minute.

"I don't have time for this." I said picking up my duffel bag and heading out the door and who did I spot? Cassius and Laroy waiting outside for me I guess. We all stared at each other not knowing what to say next. Slowly Laroy made his way towards the clubhouse. I turned to Rosario with an evil look but she looked at me defiantly. "Why did you call him?"

"Apples knows him duh." she said putting a harsh inflection on the 'duh'. "And I needed some reassurance that the job was going to be done right. Judging by the baby steps you all are taking-."

"Mrs. Rosario." Laroy said calmly. "It's alright. I understand. He's scared, I would be too if Apples was my girl." He turned back to me and put his hands in his pocket and said almost too calmly. "Look man, Apples is an old friend. No one messes with my friends. Now if you are gonna be dealin' with the Nords I suggest you use my help. I've been wanting to get a piece of that bastard since I can remember. The more man power the better, the easier this will be. I will only help you if you agree to it. Not just Mrs. Rosario or your club members. It's your girl, your daughter, your choice."

"So if I agree, you'd do whatever it takes?"

Laroy nodded slowly.

"And if I say no?"

Laroy shrugged. "Then I'm gone and it's up to you and your boys."

I had two options. Either risk the chance of failing on my kid, or accepting someone else's help instead of doing it myself. I'm not incompetent or fucking stupid. I can handle myself. I just don't know how hostile Darby is going to be when he finds a coloreds standing by the Sons. Might not go over that well. I exhaled and said. "Alright. Whatever gets my daughter back but you have to do everything I say."

Laroy nodded. "Anything to get Apples back. That's the main goal."

"I hope you know what you're doing." Cassius muttered. I didn't know if he was talking to me or Laroy. I just guessed and figure he had something to say to me as usual.

"Oh I do."

I knew what I was doing... I just didn't exactly know how to do it.

* * *

I, Jax, Bobby and Clay went to Darby's house after we checked the Nords hangout spot The Hairy Dog. Of course we didn't see him so he probably went back to jack himself off at his place. I went along with the group just so I could call the shots. Well second in command of Clay but I did all the interogating and dirty work. I had no complaints. I banged on his front door so hard the god damn door was vibrating.

"What?" I heard a voice say that definately wasn't Darby. It was gruff and sounded like he smoked 100 cigarettes already.

"Open up!" I exclaimed growing impatient and banged on the door harder.

"What do you want?"

"Open up and find out."

I heard the door chain unlock and before this big ass douchebag could say a word out of his fucking mouth, I kicked the door open and charged into the house. The Nazi tool was probably hit in the face pretty hard he took a nasty fall but I wasn't concerned. I had to deal with Darby at this point. I found Darby lying on his ass watching television and drinking milk. He wasn't bothered by me barging in, that pissed me off even more. I walked smoothly over to him while the others made sure the Nazi fuck didn't move an inch.

"Okay Darby where the fuck are they?" I asked calmly at first, folding my arms one on top of the other. I was fucking pissed but I had to let my anger out in bits and pieces.

"Who?" he asked apathetically still staring at the TV. I stepped in front of it and stared down on him. He motioned for me to move but fuck no I didn't move.

"Your little sick fucks Whistler, Mute and some dip shit named Ed! Where the fuck are they? They have my kid and old lady god damnit, now fucking tell me where the fuck they are!" I was reminded of what Whistler I guess said about my kid and my anger went over the top again.

Darby sniffed and scratched the lower part of his stomach. He looked up at me with those fucking mocking eyes and that cocky smile. He stretched his inked arms out and started scratching the lower part of his stomach again. "Stop scratching ya balls and answer me!"

He stared at me with that dirty grin on his face and cleared his throat, but had nothing to say. "Answer me!"

"Seriously Tig... I don't know what you're talking about." He finally said after pushing me as far as he could.

I grabbed him by his wife beater and picked him off the couch and threw him on his table breaking it into pieces. "Tell me where that fucking rimjob Whistler is and I won't have to bash ya fucking head in!"

Darby got up slowly from the wreckage and tried to stand to face me. He was bloodied up and he looked scary to someone who wasn't me and if I felt like it I would humor him but I wasn't. So, I had to kick Herr Darby off of his fucking high horse and start giving me some answers. "What if I don't tell you?" he asked flashing me another cocky smile.

"Do you want to be a dead hero or a living coward? I won't hesitate to beat the shit out of you Darby with nothing left for the buzzards to pick on. I will go through every Nord in the god damn country if I have to. Right now I have the urge to pound someones fucking head in anyway. To add on top of that, I have the migraine the size of your head and if I don't see my kid in good condition by sunrise I think I'm going to become a full blown psychopath and tear down Charming and paint the town with the blood of the sickos who did this to my kid! Two coats! I'll festoon my bedroom with their guts! Now Ernest fucking Darby if you don't give me any sort of clue where my kid is I'm going to stick my hand so far up your ass you're uvula will taste my wedding ring! Now start spilling some fucking results right now shit head!"

Darby hesitated but chuckled and sighed. "Look, I seriously don't know where your...play thing and kid is. All I know is that Whistler has his own place outside of town."

"Where?"

"I'm not sure. Somewhere near some shitty reservation. He's a recluse or some shit. That's all I know, I swear."

"For your sake, you better be right." I gave him one last punch in the nose. He fell to his knees holding that honker of his and muttering curses under his breath. I waited till he recovered from the blow so he could watch me throw his remote control at his tv and shattering the tv screen.

"What the fuck?" Darby exclaimed, staring at the now broken television.

"Go read a book or something." I said pushing his goon out of the way and hoping on my bike. I knew there was only one person I could trust at the reservation that would know the area fairly well enough to help me locate a house. That was my dear old mother, Charlotte.

"Let the others know we're going out to the reservations. I gotta pay Charlotte a visit."

* * *

_Don't forget to review and I'll do my best to keep up the story. :) _

_-Val_


	54. Shitty Shank

I smashed the toilet paper holder, and just as a I hoped the top part was broken and pointed up in a sharp point. I scraped it on the cement ground roughly trying to make it sharper. While I made a shitty shank I was chewing on some of the peanuts that the Mute guy left us. I spat out some of it and extended my hand to Dawn. She put her hand to her mouth and shook her head. Yeah it was fucking gross but I wasn't going to have my kid starve and her teeth were still sensitive to hard food.

"Eat it." I said to her but she shook her head. I put her hand down from her mouth but she put it back. "Eat it!" I said sharply. My nerves were as frazzled as my wild ass hair. I sighed and squeezed her cheeks a bit. I placed the food in her mouth and closed it. She scrunched her face up, but she ate it. She couldn't starve and I wasn't sure how long we were going to be here but as anyone would know a child needed nutrients where ever I could find it. I gave her another piece of chewed up peanuts and let her drink some water. I hadn't had any sleep in forever and I was running on pure adrenaline but even that was running short. I sharpened the edge for a bit more, until my arms couldn't move. I decided to try and get some sleep. I sat under the stairs with Dawn in my arms. She curled up in my arms and slowly started to fall asleep. I on the otherhand, couldn't sleep.

There was no air conditioning and I was sweating pretty badly. My heart was jumping and I couldn't keep still. My hair was frizzy and was sticking to my skin. My stomach was grumbing and my throat was dry. As tempted as I was to take a sip of water I knew that Dawn needed it most. My head was fucking killing me and all I heard the dicks upstairs talk about the Sons like they were dogs. Every dirty word in the book they could come up with they called them.

They called the Sons 'race trading scum'.

No, they're the scum.

I never hated anyone more than I did them. But who could blame me? I don't have fucking Stockholm Syndrome or whatever. I hope they all die a miserable, and painful death.

Being isolated and cold, made me miss Tig even more. I missed those bright blue eyes and that thick tan skin. Those comforting arms and that warm smile. I even missed how he would let out a large burp when he woke up after a night of drinking. Or the way he stared at himself in the mirror, thinking how good he looked. I knew for a fact now more than ever that I did love him. I could no longer deny that truth. Especially the gift he gave me. My daughter Dawn. We both would die for her in a heartbeat. I only wished he'd tell me that he loved me back. Even if it was just once I would know it and that was all that mattered. When I got back I wanted to give him the biggest kiss he'd ever had. Then I couldn't wait to reconcile and be next to him in a nice warm bed. It would be beautiful for sure. I smiled at the thought and tried to push myself to sleep but I couldn't. After thinking for a bit I guess I drifted myself off to sleep after thinking for awhile I guess I drifted off to sleep.

I wasn't sure how long I was knocked out, but all I remember is seeing the light shined in my eyes. It was probably mid afternoon by now but that wasn't the thing that woke me up. It was the heavy foot steps that came down the stairs. I held Dawn closer and closed my eyes tightly. I prayed that they wanted to take a piss down here, but I felt a chubby hand grab me by the arm. "Lets go." He said gruffly.

* * *

_Short but it says enough. Don't forget to review. Thank you for all my reviewers. I love you all!_

_-Val_


	55. Annoucement

**(READ THE ENTIRE ANNOUCEMENT PLEASE)**

Hello Everybody.

I am sorry to say this but I am no longer continuing Apples and Oranges. :( It's become a burden to me, and I can no longer continue it. Thank you for your support, but I think this is the right thing for me to do.

Sorry. :(

JUST KIDDING!

XD

I really wanted to apologize for the lack of updates. I'm at this college summer program and I barely had a chance to do anything besides study. *shoots self* So I'm leaving tomorrow and I'll be back before you know it. The new chapter contains a little background on Tig. lol So be happy. It should be posted in the next couple of days.

Thank you.

-Val.


	56. Blood Thirsty Tig's POV

I didn't want to go to the reservation and be surrounded by the people Charlotte left Harry and I for. But I had to know where my kid was at so it's a Catch fucking 22. The reservation was a hike and was surrounded by nothing but trees, trees and more fucking trees. All this nature shit was giving me a god damn headache. When we reached a small commiunity of trailers and small houses I could make out the figures of a couple of the Natives. Or whatever they called each other. One I could tell was mixed because he was lighter skinned, than the other that was standing next to, but he was a bit shorter than the darker one.

We stopped our bikes just short of a couple of feet from them. I was the first to jump off my bike and go towards them. "Wheres Charlotte?" I asked them immediately.

I noticed they had guns in their hands and I don't think they hesitated to use younger kid frowned at me, and looked me up and down. "Why?" he asked.

"Because I need to talk to her." I said gritting my teeth, trying to keep my cool.

"I know that." he replied. "But what business do you have with her?"

"Why the fuck do you want to know?" I snapped. Okay, being tempermental wasn't my thing.

"She's my aunt if you have to know."

"Well I'm her son. I don't have a lot of patience right now so if you rather me just go in there myself I suggest you just lead me to there."

The kid looked at the other older man and the man nodded in agreement. "Only him." The older man said looking at the rest of the bikers. I didn't hesitate or look back at them instead I followed the younger kid. He looked about seventeen or eighteen maybe. I wasn't sure and I don't know why he had any business guarding the town he was too young anyway.

"Are you a guard or somethin'?" I asked him. He didn't say anything at first just loosened his grip on the gun and smiled a bit, like he was proud or something. Not that I blame him.

"You could say that. Some of the men take turns to take guard. Especially recently."

"Why?"

"These Neo Nazis have been breaking into our homes, attacking some of the men and even the women. They're animals." He put the gun over his shoulder and stretched. His back made a very annoying crack but I ignored it. "Is that why you're here?"

"To help you? No. I'm here to get my kid back and yeah, my wife too."

"They kidnapped them? I'm so sorry." The kid said, wiping his nose on his sleeve and continued to walk. His head was down like he was trying to decide what to say next. "Do you know where they are?"

"No. I need someone who has a good knowledge of the area. Charlotte would know."

"Oh." The kid said. He stopped in front of a small house that despite it being the size or a tad bit bigger than the other houses it looked more.. well Charoltte. Even when we moved into that goddamn trailer she managed to make it look nice. The front had a red picket fence in front of it with flowers on the sides of the stone pathway. The kid nodded his head toward the house and said. "Thats it."

"Thanks kid." I said, already making my way through the fence, on the stones and up the porch steps. I knocked on the door pretty damn hard a waited a couple of seconds and knocked on the door again. "Hang on." I heard Charlotte say. She opened the door halfway and rubbed her eyes. She had a cigarette in her hand and I could see a pot of coffee was brewing near the stove. "Oh hey baby." She said with a smile on her face. She opened the door really wide, got up on her toes and kissed me on the cheek.

"What's wrong?" she asked when I didn't respond to the affection. I wasn't a big fan of her affection anyway. She did have a tendancy to over do it. The first day of school was fucking hell because she was holding onto me and crying like a maniac. I don't know what it was I never saw her shed a tear until then. I didn't say anything, all I wanted was a drink. Just one to keep me going.

"Give me a drink." I said.

"Come in." she said concerned now. She reached into the fridge and grabbed me a beer. I opened the top and drank the whole thing down in two maybe three gulps. "Now what's wrong baby?" She asked pouring herself a cup of coffee and putting her hand on mine. I didn't want her to get upset and start crying. As insensitive as this shit sounds but its really fucking annoying. It's high pitched and she talks and talks and talks and I can't tell what she's saying. At least when Apples yells I understand what she says. Then again when I think about her cursing in Spanish and even Polish and throwing a wedding ring at me doesn't seem as appealing than a high pitched harpy cry.

"Nothing. Uhm, the kid was telling me that there were some Nords who were bothering you all?"

"Nords?" She asked sipping her coffee then putting two scoops of sugar and a little creame. She tested it and took another sip before looking at me.

"Skinheads."

"Oh. Yeah. They beat up a couple of the kids and what not. Such horrible people. I told the children to go the long way to the bus stop from now on. They're monsters. To torment a child just because of their skin color. Theres not a bad enough word for someone like that. Animals..."

'Yeah they are." I said quietly.

"C'mon kid." she said, touching my cheek so my eyes would look into hers. "Tell me what's up. Whenever you're under pressure, or you're mad, or upset you get really angry and then you get really quiet. Now I know you were angry so tell me what's up."

"I need to find those skinheads. Now."

She frowned at me and leaned closer. "What did they do to your friends, baby?"

I sighed. She wasn't going to give up that easily. She gave me what was left of her cigarette. I took a drag and exhaled. "Alright you gotta promise me something. You won't start crying like you do."

"Crying like what?" she asked offended.

"Like high pitch and I can't understand you and what not. It's vey fucking annoying."

"Alright, then." She said rolling her eyes. "I won't."

I took one deep breath and said. "Those skinheads took Dawn and Apples."

She stared at me with disbelief. She blinked several times and sipped her coffee. When Charlotte wanted to cry but couldn't she kept swallowing, like she had a lump in her throat, but I could see her eyes watering up. "Are you kidding me?" she asked in a shaky voice.

"No. Not at all."

"My god..." She said putting her hand to her chest and shook her head. "Damn." She cleared her throat and wiped the would be tears from her face. "Come with me. Jack would know."

"Jack?"

"Yeah my husband. Well common law." She walked to the back of the house. "Come on." she said. Fucking Jack, eh? The guy she left my dad for. Well I wouldn't expect anyone to stay with my dad but I rather be raised by that Jack guy than my dad. I mean Harry lost all his friends by the time he was forty. No one liked him. Fuck him.

I followed her as she led me out the back door. Jack had his back turned to me, but I could see his long graying black hair. He was sitting in a chair watching tomato plants and the other flowers in what I guess is Charlotte's or something. "Go on." Charlotte said urging me forward. I walked hesitantly to him. I wasn't prepared for what he was going to say. Was he going to be like one of those wise Indian chiefs or was he going to be this tall, strong warrior dudes who will be ready to pull a bow and arrow out on me?

"Uh Jack?" I asked.

"Yes? Who is it?" he asked not turning around to face me. Off to a great start.

"Uh, Tig."

"Tig?" he asked.

"Uh, well everyone calls me Tig but it's not on my birth certificate. It's Alex."

"Oh. You're Charlottes kid." He finally turned his head to look at me. "Yep. You have her eyes." He finally stood up to face me and I had to tilt my head up a bit. I thought Opie was tall, but damn this guy takes the cake. He had to have been maybe six foot six or seven. He held out his hand and I shook it. "I was wondering if you'd ever visit us. What do I owe the honor?" he asked sitting in his chair.

"You know those skinheads that been fuckin' with you?"

"Yes?" he said looking at me with concern. "I was worried the sound of those motorcycles meant more of them coming this way. I'm relieved it's not true though."

"Well, good. They're the reason why my wife and kid are missing. I just need to know which direction they are at."

Jack's face was hard and emotionless but he wasn't apathetic. He didn't seem like that type of shithead who didn't care about anyone but himself. He was just like Laroy calm under pressure, but I knew I was wasting time so I waited impatiently for his answer.

"My sympathies." He stood up again and inspected his tomato plants. "How long has it been since she was kidnapped?" he asked. Of course time didn't apply to me anymore. All I knew was last time I saw her it was eleven at night and now it was early in the goddamn morning. I lived off of adrenaline, beer, and a couple shots of coffee Jax picked up for the club.

"Several hours." I guessed.

"And you're sure these skinheads have her?"

Oh my fuck! "Yes!" I said through gritted teeth trying to contain my anxiety. "Now do you know the way or not?"

"Of course I do. I just want to make sure you don't plan on going by yourself."

"No. I got reinforcements just show me the way." I said exhaling sharply.

He stroked the leaves of his tomato plant and walked around the house and followed the only path leading out of the reservation. I followed right behind him. "Nikiti my nephew and Yuma were guarding the area just in case the skinhead bastards decided to pay us another visit. I want them dead just as much as you do. The little children can't get any peace. No one can go out past dark. We're very unhappy."

He walked to where my brothers were waiting for me. He pointed out to the trail to the left of the reservation. "Keep following that direction, go for a couple of miles till you see a small little house of the right. It has a bunch of dogs in a outhouse not too far from there. If you reach a fork in the road you've gone too far."

"Thanks." I said walking toward my bike. I heard him say something else, but it was probably some Indian bullshit. I don't care. I lost myself for a moment and ignored biker code and started to lead the pack. When I realized I was losing my shit, I slowed up and gave Clay the room to go up front. Whatever. We parked our bikes only a decent walk away from the small house. The dogs were barking like crazy. They could smell us and were probably trained to kill. No problem. I got guns they had muscles and teeth.

It's on!

Laroy and some of his crew followed behind us with guns in hand. Sons, and Niners working together. Black and white, all that good happy shit. Well it's a thought but I think we all know it could never last. We cocked our guns and armed ourselves. I armed myself so well I could go into fucking Vietnam prepared like the entire U.S army.

"Alright so what's the plan?" Laroy asked.

"I'll go in and you follow." I said without hesitation. "Make sure none of those goddamn dogs get lose. I don't want my ass to be bitten." I held my shotgun close to me and started towards the house. The dogs were going crazy by now. I didn't care about waking up the sons of bitches, I wanted them on their toes. I kicked open the fucking door and before I got in I heard a shot go off.

Shit.

I felt the heat from the bullet pass by me but I dived in the house anyway and started firing back. The shots were coming from up the stairs so I shot at the sorry son of a bitch. I heard a scream of pain and something heavy falling down the stairs. A skinnier dude walked up from the basement but I didn't bother asking questions with him and I shot him square in the chest. His whole chest was exposed. Blood and guts were splattered in the door frame. He fell backward down the stairs pretty fucking hard. Gruesome but it was such a release.

I looked at the skinhead who fell down the stairs. His right leg was pretty much nonexistent besides a nasty stump. Apples said three but I only got two. I wondered where was the third one. "You go look downstairs." I said pointed to Jax. "And you go look upstairs." I said to Laroy and some of his crew. I had my eyes set on the motherfucker with one leg.

"Alright you son of a bitch. Where's my kid and my lady?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." The skinhead said breathlessly coughing up blood.

Jax came up from the basement and Laroy and his crew came from upstairs. "Nothing." Laroy said keeping his eye on Stumpy. Jax nodded in agreement. "Well check every room, the closets, under the beds, c'mon!" I exclaimed and turned my sights on the skinhead. "Now where the fuck is my kid, goddamnit!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" he yelled back at me.

"We'll see." I said grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and dragging him toward the bloody door frame. I had something very special planned for Stumpy. I promised myself that it would be an evening he would never forget.


	57. Anarchy

_Well I changed some spelling errors in the last chapter. Not that I expect you to actually go back and read it to see if I fibbed or not but whatever. lol_

_This is the second part to the rescue. The third part is LOOONNNGG. It shows Apples and Tig's points of view when they get a chance to face off against Whistler. _

_Okay guys. As you know in Sons of Anarchy there is A LOT of violence. Well this chapter contains A LOT of violence. In fact I'd say 80% violence, 19% deranged Tig, and 1% beer. lol You'll get it later. Anywho if racial slurs, violence and gore offend you please don't read it. And if it doesn't feel free to. :] (I don't know why it would you are after all in the SOA fanfiction section. lol) _

_Alright. I'll shut up now. _

_Enjoy. _

_-Val_

* * *

I made sure that Stumpy's stump would hit every single stair as I dragged him down stairs. His screams of pain were sharp with every hit and damn did it feel good. "So not only are you a kidnapper but you fuck with little children as well? Hmm?" I said to him even though he probably couldn't hear me because he was screaming like a dirty little bitch. I avoided hitting Stumpy's dead friend but Stumpy wasn't so lucky. It must be mentally scaring to hit your friends dead body with your own stump.

I pulled the switch to the light bulb and dragged him to a pole. I slammed him against it and looked for a rope or something to tie him up with. I found some wires that were useable unless the bastard decided to fight but judging by the amount of blood he was losing he wouldn't have that much of a fight in him. What a pity.

I tied him up and hummed some tune I made up as I looked for some special tools of persuasion I could use. I found a screw driver, a hammer and finally a pair of pliers. Oh this would be fun. I was already laughing as I walked to him. His stump bleeding on the floor and it almost got on my boot. I wiped some of the blood on his shirt and laid the tools out in front of him whistling while I did it.

"What's your name?" I asked calmly kneeling to look at him in the eye.

He looked at me like I was stupid and said in a weak voice. "Earl."

"Earl?" I chuckled. "Sounds like a inbred little fuck already. Well _Earl_." I said saying his name in a pretty damn good country accent. "I want to know where Whistler and his merry band shit kickers are. And don't give me the shit that you don't have any clue where they are. If I know one thing is that nothing gets by you guys. All you do is brag that you beat up a nigger, shot at a spic, and stole from a Jew. I'm not in the mood for the run around the bend routine so I'll be brief. I know you're going to lie and maybe not lie but leave some details out. Why you may ask? Because I know you're forced to learn not to snitch. Don't get me wrong we do too and even if you do the cowardly thing and tell me everything, how do I know you're telling the truth? So heres the route I'm going to take. Oh you wouldn't happen to be carrying a cyanide pill on you, would you?"

"A what?"

"Figured you wouldn't be that smart. Anyway," I started before pulling out the hammer and holding it to his face. I could see his eyes widen and he breathing sounded like he was a asthmatic. "We're going to start with this. Then we'll become confidants. Tell each others secrets. But..." I pulled out the pilers. "When I get to this we'll be best friends. Like we had been made to be friends forever." He was sweating through his bloody shirt by then. "And finally when I get to this." I pulled out the screw driver. "We'll be closer than brothers. Get the goddamn picture?"

He tried to struggle against the wires and yelled uncontrolably. I had no idea what he was yelling but it made me laugh. "Right to business. A man of action. I like that." I took out the hammer and weighed it in my hands. "Lets go."

"No, no, no." he said before I hit the hammer to his face. "I know where they are."

"No, no, no." I said in a mocking voice holding his sweating bloody head in one my hands. "You're just saying that so you don't have to go through this. But you made your choice. And you fucked up three times as bad. Not only did you fuck with my kid, and my old lady. But my mom lives on the reservation that you've been screwing around with. So now I'm so please that you're alive so we can enjoy this."

"But I can tell you right now."

"Don't be pathetic, Earl!" I said with a laugh. I don't know where all of this was coming from. I hated not being in control of myself but goddamn did it feel good. "Just take it like a man. Go down with some dignity and stop shitting your pants like a bitch."

I cracked my neck and took in a deep breath and swung the hammer at his teeth. Not his jaw. I needed his jaw for now. Some cracked and some fell out of his mouth on impact. I swung at him again hitting him near the eye. I was pretty sure I crushed the bone and I swung again and again hitting his collar bone, his ribs, his ankles, shins, and even his stump. The cracking of bone, and his screams that followed the hammer swings was like listening to Mozart. I even used the other end. The sharp end even got stuck in his chest and I ripped it out just as easily. When the hammer had lost it's appeal, I picked up the pliers.

"Anything you want to say?" I asked.

"They're about... ten maybe fifth teen miles... outside of town. In a shack... near the lake." he said breathlessly. He started coughing up blood.

"Shack near the lake?" I repeated tapping the pilers against my chin. "How do I know you're not sending me on a wild goose chase?" I thought for a mintue. "I'm afriad that's not good enough."

"No I swear-."

"You swore alliegence to a goddamn kingdom that was suppose to last 1,000 years but it lasted barely over a decade. You little shit." I thought for a second how many fingers I could break with just these pliers without getting tired. I was already sweating from swinging that hammer so damn hard. "Alright fucktard. Lets get this shit over with."

I placed the pliers in the middle of his right pinky first. "Heil Hitler." I said and squeezed the pliers as hard as I could until I heard the bone crack and snap in half. Earl let out a blood curgling scream. I went to his ring finger and snapped that one in half. The pain was so bad for Stumpy that all I could hear him was gasp for air. That's it. No scream, nothing. I snickered and worked on his middle finger.

**CRACK**

The index finger.

**CRACK**

The thumb.

**CRACK**

"Damn!" I said loud enough to cause his ears to ring. "Ain't that a bitch!" I said walking to the other side of the basement and wiping the beads of sweat from my brow. "You Herr Earl have tired me the fuck out." I breathed heavily cracking my tensed sore fingers. "You're such a cunt you know? All of you. I get it. You think everyone is equal. But if they were a nig, spic, chink or a Jew then it's bad. Fine. But to go so low as to hurt a kid. MY kid especially and beat on a old lady. How much of a twat shit do you have to be?" I slammed my fist on the stairs. "SOMEONE GET ME A GODDAMN BEER!"

Laroy came down with gun in one hand and a in the other. "Calm down." he said.

"Thanks." I said popping open the beer.

"No problem man." he said before going up the stairs once again.

I drank all of it in a couple of gulps and put the empty bottle on the floor. "I'll need that for later." I pushed my hair back and said in a short voice. "So, anything new to tell me."

"Harper Street. It's on Harper Street. The shack is on Harper Street." Earl kept muttering under his breath going in and out of conscousness I guess.

"See what's so amazing what you can remember when you get to stage two?" I smiled and started laughing. "Now we got one more step my friend." I pulled out the screw driver. "You don't need those eyes do you?"

"Huh?"

"I didn't think so." I stood up and walked towards him, pushed his head back and forced his uninjured left eye open. "I'll make it quick." I said slowly pushing the screw driver into his scared shitless brown eyes of his. It was disgusting. The blood was coming out of his socket and down his face. I swore I even heard a popping sound. His mind could no longer take so much pain and he didn't scream. That disappointed me.

"Mercy." he begged. "Mercy."

"You didn't have mercy for Dawn. You didn't have mercy for Apples. You didn't have mercy for those Natives you fucked with. Why should I give a damn about mercy for you?" I shoved the screw driver into his Stump which woke up him out of his daze. He nearly jumped out of the wires and screamed so loud that my hearing temporarily went out.

"Fucking the Stump." I began singing. "Fucking, fucking the stump." I ended with a sick little laugh and shoved the screw driver into chest. He hunched over into the wound talking under his breath.

"Harper Street! There's two houses...one for them...the other for Whistler...guns...dogs...back way... take the right fork...please...that's...all I know..."

"Now that's more like it." I said unwrapping the wires around him, grabbed the beer bottle and dragged him up the stairs. His wounds hitting each and every single stair. The other Sons and even the Niners surrounded by the door and stared at Earl, then back at me. I didn't give a shit. I did what I had to do for my kid. Fuck him. I dragged him outside where the dogs were going crazy. As I started to open the cage I felt his good hand start beating me in the back of the leg. It took me off guard and I made the mistake and bent down. Earl had aimed right for the the family jewels.

Shit I was fucked! I bent over but I ignored the pain and smashed the beer bottle on the fench and threw Earl on his back. I ripped his bloody, sweat soaked shirt and carved a large fucking 'A' in his back. I don't fucking remember if he was screaming like a bitch again but I did make a statement. I opened the cage wide enough to throw Earl in there with the dogs. I heard the dogs go crazy and poor Earl screamed and I relished in it. I inhaled and exhaled and made my way back in the house. "Harper Street. We're going to take a right in the fork in the road got it?"

I didn't wait for a reponse. I grabbed my shot gun and headed towards my bike and they followed right behind me. I was almost there. I was going to get my baby girl back and if they thought that was bad, I was getting warmed up. Earl better not have sent me to some shit hole or he would pay.

Oh wait he's dead.

Then I guess he did pay. No problem then.

* * *

_The whole idea was to make Tig a bit more psychotic. Just an FYI. _

_The more reviews I get the sweeter the ending of this tragedy will be. Questions, comments, concerns, perspectives? Tell me. I want to know. Review. _

_-Val_


	58. Seat belts Laroy!

_Okay this goes between Apples and Tigs POV. I'll try and be clear about it but it shouldn't be that hard. The first one is Apples so the next will be Tig's. So stick with that order. :] Don't forget to review. _

_-Val_

* * *

I pushed against Ed's grip and tried to reach for Dawn. I didn't know if she just woke up or she had been awake for awhile. But at any rate she started wobbly walk towards me. She extened her tiny palms to try to grab my hand and I tried to reach for hers but Ed was too strong and pulled me back. He shoved me on the staircase and kicked my ass to get up the stairs. I defied him and ran back to try and grab my daughter. He tripped me and I fell flat on my face on the concrete ground. I tried to move but the entire environment was shaking and the ground kept moving. I fell flat on my back on the concrete but I felt myself be picked up and led up the stairs. My mind was telling me I had to get my daughter but I couldn't concentrate hard enough to move. Everything else was moving. My poor mind however was in a fog. For a moment I didn't even know my name. Reality came back in a flash when I felt my body land hard on the ground. The ribs that hurt the worse was on the side that I landed the hardest on.

I was in so much pain I couldn't even scream. It came out as a raspy gasp. Whistler stood over me, and shook his head. "Where is your old man?" he asked calmly. I frowned and shook my head. "Are you a fucking idiot?" I exclaimed through the pain in my ribs. "The last time I talked to him WAS the last time! I don't have a fucking tracking device on him and vice versa!"

"I know that you moron!" Whistler yelled, then tried his best to keep his cool. He inhaled and exhaled cooly. "I wonder what is taking so long though."

"Well you didn't give him directions."

"I know that."

"So it takes time, stupid!"

Whistler clenched and unclenched his fist failing at the calm, cold act he was doing. "Well time is one thing you and your runt don't have."

"We'll see." I replied, trying to push myself up on my ass but I felt the angry son of a bitches boots shove me down. Something came over me oddly enough. Like some sort of intuition. I had a feeling that Tig was on his way. The club was smarter than to just wait for a sign. No, they had resources and they weren't afraid to use them. I feel sorry for the poor saps that crossed my Tiggy. I made sure the shank was in my front pocket and to my relief it was.

I laid there for several minutes, when I heard my daughter start to cry loudly. I wasn't sure if it was because it was absolutely quiet and now it became clearer or if I was off in LaLa Land. But my heart began to ache. I didn't want to be seperated myself from her. I pushed the tears back knowing that I could not let these scum bags have the statisfaction of getting to me. "Let me go so I can get my child."

"No." Whistler said. "Fuck your kid."

"Well fuck you too!" I said spitting on him. His fist were shaking and he got on his knees and before I could see it his hands were around my throat. I tried to kick and move out of his grip but he was so much stronger than me. Ed was stunned. He went from looking at me then to Whistler who was slamming my head on the carpet and spewing more curse words and racial slurs than my mind could take at once.

I was gasping for air by now and I could feel my vision start to blur and darken. It wasn't until I let go of the wrist that were slowly draining me of life and reached into my pocket and stabbed him in the hand with the shank. Whistler let go of me and looked at his wounds. I hunched over on my knees and coughed my lungs up to open. Ed didn't know what to do but call for Mute. He was panicking and shit for awhile until he heard the roar of motorcycles coming closer and closer from the distance. I smiled to myself and ignored the pain in my leg. I ran out of their way and ran down the stairs to be with my daughter. I wanted to yell and scream that my man is coming back for me and Dawn. I was so exicted I nearly tripped down the stairs, bloody shank in hand but before I could search through the darkness for my child, I felt someone grab me from behind and cover my mouth.

* * *

I came up to the disgusting house that these scumbags kept my daughter and old lady in. I didn't see any dogs yet but I didn't care. I hopped off my bike and got my guns ready. My adrenaline was pumping so badly I couldn't keep still. My brothers, and Laroy and his crew had to practically run to keep up with me. My brothers were behind me ready to fuck this place up. "Alright. I'm not going to repeat myself so listen up. Laroy, Jax, and Clay. Come with me. Opie, Bobby and Chibs go around the house."

"How many are there again?" Chibs asked.

"Three I think."

"Piece of cake." The Scottsman said taking out his gun getting ready for battle.

Before I could take one step toward the house I heard the sound of gun shots. Instinct told me to drop down. "Fuck!" I exclaimed, and fired back. I rushed toward something stable and hard. That happened to be behind one of the trucks that were parked idly near the small house. My guess that we had to move twenty feet toward their hideout. However there was no way of getting around the fucking bullet shots. Then an idea hit me. "Laroy!" I yelled over the gun shots.

"What?" He yelled from behind another car. He turned his attention toward the gun shots and fired bacl.

"Hot wire the car!"

"What? Why?"

"JUST DO WHAT I SAY GODDAMNIT!" I yelled losing my patience and stepped out in front of the line of fire and started firing away, then ducking back. Along with my other brothers who tried to figure out where the bullets were coming from. I watched Laroy hot wire the car while I fired away at however it was. "COME ON!" I yelled at the rest of my brothers to at least try harder.

"YOU COME ON!" Jax yelled. "WE'RE TRYING!"

"I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHERE THE SHOTS ARE COMIN' FROM!" Chibs yelled firing back and trying to find them at the same time. It was fucking impossible but I couldn't think of another way unless Laroy could hot wire the goddamn car. When I heard the truck ignition start, I jumped in the drivers seat. "CHIBS! Take Opie, and Bobby around back when the coast is clear! Jax! You and Clay and some of Laroys crew follow behind us!" I didn't wait for a response because as far as I could tell I was commander and chief of this unit.

Laroy had his gun pointed directly towards the front of the house and I drove and I accelerated as fast as I could toward the house. The truck seemed sturdy enough to take a hit through a door. "Seatbelts Laroy!" I said, putting mine on as well. Laroy ducked and quickly put on his seatbelt in the nick of time. As corny as it sounded the last thing we both needed was to fly out the fucking front window when we needed to rescue someone. I was doing probably 180 by now and as soon as I saw the door approaching my vision I loosened all my muscles. If you were tense that was a way to hurt yourself.

I know that from a fucking painful experience.

I felt everything jolt forward and my head hit the airbag and pushed me back. Then the sound of crashing and wood crumbling almost shattered my ear drums. I came back to reality pretty fast. My head was hurting like a bitch but I didn't care. I got out of the truck and checked to see if Laroy was alive. He was already out of the car and going through the wreck of a opening we made. I rushed through the door and saw blood under the truck and ruble. I felt like my heart when through my ass. I didn't know if I hit Apples, but lucky for me it was just some fat guy. I shot him in the head to make sure. (Always double tap. When theres no one whose out for revenge it makes your goddamn life easier). Now I was in the hunt mode. I walked and walked looking for my old lady. "APPLES!" I screamed.

"APPLES!" Laroy yelled. "WHERE ARE YOU GIRL?" he yelled. The smoke was clearing from the front of the house and I went with my intuition. Unfortuantely it was making seventeen decisions at once.

Upstairs?

No.

Downstairs?

Maybe.

Yeah, maybe upstairs?

No.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"TIG!" I finally heard coming from the basement I goddamn nearly tripped on the fat mans body to try and get to her. I didn't see her but the first thing I saw was a big skin head nearly bleeding to death from a stab wound. I didn't wait for answers instead I just shot him in the head and kept moving my way through the darkness. I still couldn't find my Apples.

* * *

I struggled against who ever it was. I didn't hit them in fear that it would a member of the club, but when he whispered in my ear and said "Stop fighting." I knew it was Mute. I struggled harder and harder until I remember the shank that I had made. I used the shank to stab him in the arm. He dropped me and before he could make another move I stabbed him between the ribs. I think I hit one of his lungs. Laroy taught be how to get someone between the ribs. He grabbed his side and checked to see if he was bleeding and he was bleeding pretty badly. That's a nice way of putting it. He was bleeding very badly. "Wheres my daughter?" I exclaimed trying to figure out where she would be in the dark. I didn't move in fear of stepping on her. He answered just as soon as I heard gun shots go off. Mute shrugged and could no longer stand up. He fell to his knees and breathed heavily.

"You got my lung." he said with a mixture of a laugh and a cough. Blood fell down his chin. I could barely hear him over the gun shots going on above.

"I don't give a shit!" I said holding the shank to his throat. "Let me know where my daughter is or I'll open your fucking throat!"

He grinned at me and shook his head. "She's safe."

"WHERE?"

He held his ground and shook his head. "She's under the stairs."

I ran toward the stairs and felt around for her. I felt a soft chubby cheek and knew it was her. I couldn't hear her because of the shots being fired but she must've gotten scared and hid under the stairs. What a smart girl. She wrapped her arm around me, while I tried to find an exit through Mute who was already dying. I made my way deeper into the basement praying that the Sons would win. They couldn't lose. I knew the lay out of the basement much better than they did so I had an advantage. If the Sons couldn't kill them then I would somehow.

I waited in the darkness holding my crying daughter when I heard the sound of a loud crash coming from upstairs. I screamed and held Dawn close praying that it would end as quickly as possible. I could feel myself starting to lose control. I was shaking and I even felt myself start to cry but I didn't. I bit my lip waiting for the worst. There was a silence all throughout the house for several minutes. I heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. I held the shank out and started to move. I think whoever it was could hear me and knew I was moving. I heard him stumble over shit and try to find me still. I kept moving and moving until I heard a familiar voice yell. "APPLES!"

I struggled with yelling to let them know I was still alive and letting whoever it was know that I was there or I could sit around and wait. I listened to Laroy call my name and I struggled with the idea for another half a minute and finally gathered enough courage to yell. "TIG!"

I heard boots rush toward me and pick me up by the hair. Before he could make a move I heard more heavy footsteps going down the stairs and a gun shot going off and Mute fell. I held Dawn close to me but before I could do anything like try and run from which was more than likely Whistler I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I was so shocked from the pain, I nearly dropped Dawn.

"Fucking spic!" I heard Whistler say and shove me forward. I heard one gun shot and Whistler fell down but I knew he was alive from the grunts and groans he made. I hesitated at first but then I smelled something familiar. Tig always wore Eagle cologne and though it was faint I could still smell it. I smiled almost relieved. "Tig..." I said falling into his arms.

"Shit Apples." he said wrapping his arms around me and Dawn. "Are you okay?"

Depends on what he meant by the definition of 'okay'. If he meant okay as in alive then yes I was okay.

"No." I said still feeling the pain in my abdomen. "But I'll be fine." My words started to slur and I couldn't think or barely stand. He picked up Dawn out of my arms and held her tightly to him. I don't think Dawn could see it was him but felt she his prescence. Dawn started crying and dug her head under his chin. He rubbed her back and tried to help calm her. The adrennaline "survival" mode I was in wore off and now I was tired, in pain, and above all mentally exhausted.

"Apples." I heard the voice that I only knew as Laroy say. I smiled slightly and almost fell into his arms as well. "Hey.." I said. He hugged me but pulled back suddenly. He used the faint sunlight coming through the windows to look at his shirt then looked at my tattered white one. I looked down for the first time and noticed a lot of blood coming from where the pain was. "Ouch." I said.

"Yo, Tig." Laroy said. Tig turned his attention to the wound in my stomach and his eyes widen. "Fuck." he said almost panicking. He looked down at Whistler who was still alive but barely. "Find me some better light. I need to see how bad it is! Come on!"

Laroy moved his way through the basement and practically ripped down the newspaper from the windows to let in the light all the way in. My eyes squinted and I covered them. This was the most light I had in maybe twenty four maybe forty eight hours. Who knows?

Tig moved my shirt up and I winced in the pain. "Fuck Apples." he said almost as if he was scared. He looked me up and down and was absolutely speechless. All he could do was feel through my hair and try and comfort me. I wasn't sure if we were both in the mindset that time moved much slower but in reality we didn't realize that maybe I needed to get to a hospital. He looked at Dawn which was a double blow. Her left eye was blacken from the back lash of the telephone being thrown at me by Whistler. I saw Tig's mood start to change. He went from empathetic father and husband to harden Sergent-at-arms in a matter of maybe two seconds. "Laroy." he said. "Take Apples and Dawn to the nearest hospital. I'll be there soon."

He nodded and picked Dawn out of Tig's arms and put one of my arms around his waist. (I am too short to put an arm over his neck). Everything was moving in a haze and I started to see two of things. My mind was barely moving and my feet moved at a slower pace. I didn't even realized I had Laroy's purple shirt on my wound and that we were outside. I did see Jax, Bobby, Chibs, and Clay help me into one of Laroy's car and the next second we were driving. Then I started to fall asleep.

"Apples!" Chibs said. I didn't realize I was sitting next to him and he was holding Dawn in one arm. "Don't fall asleep. Come on stay awake we're almost there."

"I'm so sleepy..." I said closing my eyes.

"No! Apples! Come on stay awake!"

"Where's Tig?"

"He's back at the shack, kid."

"No..." I said looking around. "Wait... why?"

"To get even."

"I'm going to sleep." I said closing my eyes. Suddenly I felt a splash of water on me and I opened my eyes. "Goddamn."

"Just hold on Apples." He took the rest of the water and let me drink from it. Which honestly felt so good. It was the best damn water I had in such a long time. I didn't stop drinking till the water bottle was totally empty. It helped a little bit, but until I slowly felt the need to lay down again. Thank God we were at the hospital. They rushed me out and to the emergency room. Before I knew it I was on a hospital bed, with a needle in my arm heading to emergency surgery. It finally snapped to me that Dawn wasn't in my arms. I started to panic a bit.

"Dawn?" I asked looking around the room trying to move but a nurse pushed me down. All I saw was a large bright light hanging down from me. For a second I thought I was going to heaven. Then I saw the face of a homely looking nurse looking down on me.

"Don't move sweetie."

"But my daughter.."

"She's fine, she's being checked out."

"My daughter.."

"I know sweetie. She's fine."

I tried to look around when I felt someone put a mask over my face. I moved away from it but they held me down and soon I fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

I had no idea what would be bad enough for the shit head. Nothing seemed perfect enough for him. Every punishment I could think of was too kind for him. I didn't want instaneous death but I had to be with my kid and old lady. So I couldn't take too long. Plus I had a fucking migraine and it fucking hurts. The shithead was on his knees trying to move after I got his back with one shot. I kept him alive on purpose. I paced around the room trying to be as creative as possible, but it wasn't in me.

Hell yes I was fucking enraged at him. But I had to prioritize. Stay here and toture the son of a bitch or be there with my kid and my old lady. I weighed them out for a bit until I saw Whistler trying to reach for a bloody piece of glass but I kicked him in the face. He fell on his back, mouth and nose bleeding and all. "Oh you son of a bitch." Whistler laughed. "Go ahead kill me."

"Kill you? Oh I'll kill you. But you aren't even worth the force it will take to break your neck. You aren't worth the bullets to shoot you. Fuck, you're not even worth the powder it will take to blow you up!" I grabbed him by what little hair he had left on his head so he'd look at me. "You're a sorry piece of shit you know that? A sorry excuse for a man who would torture a woman and her child. A sorry excuse for a human being too."

Whistler wanted to do something but he didn't want to push his luck with me. I was a fucking maniac and I knew it. Nothing would make me happier than to kill him but how should this sorry son of a bitch die?

Then an idea struck me. I stepped over the big guys body and found some rope. One was shorter than the other. The other was very, very long. Probably what they used for Apples. I thought of the perfect way to get my message across but so the feds wouldn't look into the murder too hard. I mean a convicted menace to society? Who gives a shit. But I couldn't let it lead to SAMCRO. I picked up the bloody piece of glass and stabbed him in the side of the neck. I didn't hit anything too major yet. Whistler seemed shocked and grabbed his neck, but I shoved his hands down and tied them behind his back as he gagged. I hummed a tune as I made the longer rope into a noose. Then he really seemed panicked.

I made the slipknot perfect but not too perfect. Last thing I wanted was for him to be comfortable in his last moments. I put the noose around his neck and he really started to panic. A large iron post went from the left of the ceiling to the right. I threw the top of it over and pulled up Whistler. He writhed and shook in agony. The glass was pushing itself deeper into his neck and he was choking on his own blood probably. More blood fell from his mouth and nose. I wrapped the rope around the stair banister and watched him

"You live by brutality.. you die by it." I said looking up at him shake with absolute pain. "Next time... KNOW WHO YOU'RE UP AGAINST!"

No one touches my little girl or my old lady... and that better be a reminder to anyone else. I fished around for anything to set the house on fire. I looked through their shit upstairs and found vodka, and tons and tons of whiskey. I threw the bottle down the stairs and all around the basement. I think the son of a bitch was still alive when I lit the match and threw it going the stairs. The place quickly became engulfed in flames. I quickly got on my bike where Clay and Jax were waiting for me. "Is Apples and Dawn at the hospital?" I asked them.

"Yeah-." Clay started and that was all I needed to hear right now.

I made my way to the hospital closest to the reservation. It hurt me to see my babe like that. All bruised, swollen, bloodied, and sickly. She looked like she had been in a POW camp. Dawn looked great to my relief. Just a few cuts and that fucking black eye. I was almost sure Whistler did it and he paid for it. They all were dead and I took comfort in that but I just wanted to be with my little girl for now.

Even though I felt better that Dawn was alright, my old lady got pummled to a pulp and that made me feel like shit

I hoped she was okay.

No, she's a strong woman she will be okay.

* * *

I suddenly woke up very groggy and shaken. It hurt to breathe and even more to move. I was having deja vu like crazy. The smell of disinfectant, the white background and waking up barely remembering anything just how much pain I was in felt like the aftermath of the car accident when I was in labor with Dawn. My head was pounding and my vision was either too sharp or too blurry. But just like the car accident I saw Tig by my side falling asleep in a chair with Dawn curled up on the floor on her favorite Barney blanket. She was sleeping too. Her legs were bent and her bottom was up while her fuzzy black hair was facing me.

Tig was snoring pretty loudly and it was almost a shock that Dawn was still asleep. She looked very well kept. She was in a orange dress and had a orange bow in her hair. I know Tig didn't pick out her outfit it had to have been one of the grandmoms. More than likely my mom because she enjoyed bright colors especially on myself when I was a child and Dawn.

It reminded me of when I was five years old and we'd go to church. She dressed me in a yellow dress, with a yellow bow to match. I always hated dresses when I was younger. I perfered pants and a shirt. The woman even made me wear white gloves to match. Yeah, it was cute but fucking embarassing to be in that goddamn dress.

I tried to move but I winced in pain. My mouth hurt, my side hurt, my legs, and damn near everything I hurting. I was in probably the worst pain in my life. I mean I can't even compare it to childbirth because I was asleep the whole time but I'm sure it was pretty damn close.

"Tig.." I managed to say after several minutes of trying.

I saw him open one eye instantly and finally opened two eyes. "Hey." he said standing up slowly to kiss me on the forehead. "How are you feeling?" He stroked my hair gently

"Peachy."

He mistook my sarcasm as a real statement because he smiled with relief then he saw that "Kill me" look written on my face, he went back to feeling like utter shit. He sat back down in his chair and stared at Dawn. He chuckled and turned back to me. "You know how long you've been out?"

I shook my head slightly.

"Three days. Good news is you're going to live."

"How bad?" I said through the pain. I could no longer hold in my tears and I started to cry. Not because I was sad but because it hurt so badly.

"Apples, c'mon.." he said looking down at the floor to check on Dawn again. "Lets not talk about that.."

"Tig..."

He pushed his hair back and shook his head. "Two broken ribs, one fractured, a fractured cheek bone, slight concussion, stab wound, broken nose.. that's all I can remember."

"Fuck." I said, the pain getting so bad that I just wanted to die, but I had to know. "Dawn?"

"She's okay. Just the bruise." He said clenching his fist in anger.

I nodded my head then immediately stopped when the motion was too much for me. I groaned and closed my eyes for several minutes. I opened my eyes back up and I said softly. "I'm going to sleep again." He nodded and kissed me on my forehead again. He leaned back in his chair and fell asleep as well. I wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay and normal again. But somehow in my gut I knew things weren't going to be the same. Maybe it'd be okay but something changed inside of me. Never in my life had I experienced something like this. Not only did these psychos attack me when I was in labor but they kidnapped me for God knows what reason. But if I hadn't been involved with the SOA I wouldn't be in this situation. I knew it wasn't directly Tig's fault but it was his involvement.

I knew one thing and one thing only.

I had to leave them while I and my daughter was still alive. I couldn't live with the fear of this happening again. It was hard on my heart and on my sanity. I was sick of waking up in hospitals in absolute pain. I just wanted a normal life.

Fuck this.

* * *

_I am going to college now! Yay! :D So I didn't know when I would be able to finish this chapter, so I quickly edited this thing for you because I know how patient you all were and I thank you all so much. I will still be continuing the story till it's finished but it might be shorter chapters. Just future notice. :] Thank you so much you all and don't forget to review. _

_-Val_


	59. Painkillers

I spent maybe a week or more in the hospital. I wasn't exactly sure and frankly it was the least of my concerns. Most of those long days were spent laying down and staring at a television and watching Looney Toons and the other half was spent being put into a drug induced sleep.

The pain got better but it still hurt like a bitch to move. Contrary to what I thought the stab wound would hurt the most but I was fucking wrong! Between my ribs and my fractured cheekbone that was probably the worst pain I have suffered ever. After a week (or more) I could finally go back home, but as Tig and I left the hospital room and I dragged my tortured body to the car I noticed something really odd. Tig seemed to be...well... different. It was kinda like stepping into the Twilight Zone. He smiled at me for the first time with some sort of love in his eyes. Not lust.

It was kinda nice considering that the only time he smiled like that was before, during and after sex or if I made him a really good ham sandwhich. "Happy to be going home?" he asked me as we rode down the lonely streets. I glanced at him then back at the road.

"Not really." I replied barely talking above a monotone. "Charming is the last place I want to be right now."

"I think I know what would make you feel better." he said scanning the road and then turning to look at me. I didn't care. In fact I didn't feel anything really. Like excitement or even sadness. I just felt like a zombie. That I was just living life minute to minute with no joy.

Just apathy.

"Oh really?" I asked raising a eyebrow but kept my eyes staring out the window looking at the cloudy sky and passing cars. "What would that be?"

"You want a slurpee?"

"Yeah, something else to irritate my fractured cheek bone." I replied. The pain was dull because of all the pain killers the hospital shoved at me. That's the only thing that's great about being in pain. They dope you up so bad you can't feel anything. Which is absolutely perfect.

"C'mon.." he said with a smile. "You always love them. I'll buy you two if you want."

"No." I said, putting my hand to my head trying to massage my temple to stop the headache that I was getting. "I don't want any Slurpee, I don't want anything. I just want to go home so I can lay down and go to sleep."

He sighed and decided to focus his attention to the radio. Metallica was playing very loudly. I believe the song was One but that was the least of my concerns. He turned the knob of the radio up even more at his favorite part and nodded his head to the music. However the metal music was giving me a goddamn headache. I exhaled sharply through my nostrils and I said through gritted teeth. "Turn the goddamn music down. I got a fucking headache already."

"Alright, alright." he said turning it down almost all the way, leaving nothing but a awkward silence. We endured this for several minutes. He stared at the road and I stared at the passing cars. Some guy stared at me pretty hard and then looked at Tig and shook his head. He must've assumed from the bruises on my face that Tig did it. That was actually pretty funny, but I didn't laugh.

I picked at my broken nails that still had a little bit of red nail polish in the center. I turned my attention back to the window. Before I knew it the sky was dark and soon it started to rain. The rain drops hit hard on the car and Tig pulled over and parked the car. I didn't bother to ask why. I didn't even care. I figured it was for some stupid reason.

"Okay," Tig said turning to me. "I can't fucking take it. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I said.

"Tell me, kiddo." he said. "Don't you think I feel like shit over what happened?"

"You feel like shit? You weren't the one getting beaten to a pulp and called a spic to your face."

"You're not a spic."

"Well that's not what Whistler said."

"Who gives a two shits about Whistler?"

"I don't know! Can we stop talking about this?" It sounded like I was angry but in all honestly I really wasn't. I didn't feel remotely angry or even annoyed. I just didn't feel anything yet again.

"Fine." he said, losing his cool for a second then taking a deep breath and exhaling. He cooled down and started driving. His tone when back to the tone he had before. "I got to go by the clubhouse."

"Oh boy." I said rolling my eyes. "More people that I can't wait to talk to. Well don't expect me to be nice to anyone."

He sighed and pretended that he didn't hear a word I said. I didn't know what was making me feel this way. Anna Mae used to tell that people who suffered something traumatic usually becoming depressed and sad all the time. But I didn't feel sad or depressed. I didn't care. I just wanted to go home and be with my little girl. I wondered how she was getting along or if that bruise was gone finally. "Where's Dawn?" I asked him.

"She's with Rosario and Cassius." he said.

"How is she?" He hesitated and finally said:

"Quiet."

That was odd for Dawn. We both knew that. Normally she would try to talk to us in her baby language with only a few words that I could comprehend. She was generally a smiley, and happy baby. When she was asleep she was quiet but when she was up she was a riot. It broke my heart to hear about her any differently. "Where are we going? My apartment or your house."

"You're staying with me." he said. "I moved some of your stuff in there already."

I was half insulted and half relieved. I was insulted that he went through my stuff (not like there was anything incriminating), and that he thought I was too incompetent to live on my own. But I was relieved because I didn't feel like moving my stuff in and frankly I didn't feel like being alone. Tig saved my ass so he was my best bet. We didn't speak until he pulled into the clubhouse. The parking lot was full and I could smell something roasting on the barbecue. I rolled my eyes and followed Tig slowly. He held my hand in his and we walked in together at my own pace. When we opened the door I saw everyone raise their beer bottles at me. They all were celebrating my coming back from the hospital, but I didn't feel any warmth from them. I knew their action was sincere but I couldn't crack a smile. I guess I should've tried but it wasn't in me.

"Welcome home, baby girl." Gemma said with a smile on her face.

"Thank you." I said blankly I said trying to crack a smile but it look more like a half smirk. I turned to Tig and said softly but still very faint for them to hear. "Now can we go home?"

Tig gave me a look that said "don't be rude". But I couldn't help it. I was in pain and didn't feel like being happy and cheerful. "Just stay for a bit." Tig said. "Ten minutes. They're trying. Please?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded. I sat by the bar and asked just for a beer. I just needed something to get me by. A lot of them were trying to be comforting and though they thought they were being helpful, they weren't. They were being extremely annoying. That didn't understand what I had been through. They weren't beat to a firey pulp and called a racial slur every other word. They were white. They will never understand. If I wasn't a old lady they would just assume I did something to piss Whistler off. Shit, they didn't care about any of my people. Any of Laroy's people. Why should I be flattered by their gestures?

I flashed a fake smile, made small talk, drank my beer and rolled my eyes at them when no one was lookin. Tig said a "ten minutes." Two hours later we left.


	60. Untitled

I was pacing the floor of my kitchen, barely noticing that my leg still hurt like a bitch. I held Dawn in my arms as I peaked out the window. The people passing by was making me nervous.

The dog was making me nervous.

That kid walking on my goddamn grass was making me nervous.

My hands were shaking and I held Dawn tighter to me. I stared out the window for a few seconds, maybe minutes then turned my attention to the liquor cabinent. I just wanted a drink to get me by a couple of hours. I placed Dawn on the floor. She stood up and started fussing at me to hold her. I kept an eye on her and took the vodka out and poured it into a glass. I didn't know if it was used or not.

I could taste what I think was vodka flavored apples juice. Yep it was used.

I didn't care.

Dawn pulled on my sweat pants and started to cry. I shot down the vodka and picked her up. She rarely liked to leave my arms. If I left her sight for a moment she would start crying uncontrolably. Before you-know-what occured she would never be afraid of the dark and Tig and I could leave her in her room alone. Sure if she'd wake up she'd want someone to tuck her back in but now she was terrified. Even a little bit of darkness scared her. It was getting so bad Tig moved her crib to our room so she could sleep at night.

With one hand I poured me another drink, while holding Dawn. I got a big rush from drinking. I mean a fucking fucking rush, but I still felt the eyes of someone on me. I looked out the window and nothing weird was going on _yet_. I sat down at the kitchen and stared out the window. I looked at the clock.

6:35.

Fuck.

Tig should've been back by now. He said he would be back by six. He was thirty-five minutes late.

The doctor gave me some pills to calm the anixety from the trauma. It was Anna Mae's idea after all. It helped a lot except for the whole dry mouth and what not. However Tiggy was suppose to fill my perscription, but he was late. Now I was going off like crazy. I stared out the window and noticed someone drove a van into the next door neighbors drive way. My heart skipped a beat. I waited for whoever it was in the car to come out. Only a couple of kids and a older couple. I felt a little better but not totally. Some skinheads hide behind nice suits and gray hair. Dawn's blue eyes looked into mine and there was something that a child doesn't have that laid in only hers.

Fear.

Before she used to crawl to the bikers that were obvious scary to the outside world and offer them food or to hold her toy to them. She used to play with Jax in the yard and laugh at him being silly. Now she barely approached him. She looked at him like he was the Boogeyman. Jax was hurt that she didn't pull on his jeans and make him help her find the big teddy bear so they could play Giant Teddy Attack or whatever the hell it was.

I heard the roar of the motorcycle and I opened the door. Tig held out the bag of perscription drugs out to me. My fingers and toes were twitching probably from cold turkey fucking withdrawl. "I got it!" he said. "Don't flip shit." He opened the door and before he could barely get pass the threshold, I snatched the bag from him and handed Dawn to him. I took a couple of pills in my fist and drank it down with what was left of the vodka in the used glass. Tig looked at the opened bottle of vodka and muttered something under his breath. "What?" I asked turning my attention towards him.

"Since when have you started drinking that often?"

"I drink when I'm thirsty."

"Very funny." he said sarcastically and kissing Dawn on the cheek. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. He almost tripped on the toys that were scattered all over the floor. I haven't felt much like cleaning, who was I Susie Homemaker? "Could you clean once in awhile?"

"Why?" I asked getting up to look out the window again. He put Dawn down in her play pin and took me by the arm and pulled me away from the window. I screamed and shoved him hard. He almost lost his footing and landed against the fridge. He looked at me stunned. "Don't touch me!" I exclaimed. "Don't ever..." I felt the tears start to swell in my eyes and I pushed them back and down my throat.

Tig was about to explode, I could feel it but he just sighed and said in a defeated voice. "Babe, its been a fucking month. Let it go."

"Right. You try being called every name in the goddamn book and beaten to shit trying to defend your child and see how mentally sound you are. You're already a walking mental mystery already."

"Hey! Don't bring me into what Whistler did-."

"I don't want his name spoken in this house ever again!" I exclaimed all of a sudden.

"You gotta face facts kiddo!" he said his voice raising higher and higher. "All you do is stay by the window, shove your pills down your goddamn throat and sit on the couch and drink! I'm fucking sick of it! Get off your ass do some work around the house or at least get out more!"

"Leave me alone..." I said. "I'm not your fucking maid. Why don't you get off of your lazy ass and do some work for once?"

"I risk my neck for you and Dawn! Not just what happened but every goddamn day!"

"Psh, you knew what the life is like. No one asked you to join a MC." I said slowly withdrawing from the conversation and turning my attention to what was going on outside. I don't know if he was yelling at me or when he gave up and left. Frankly I didn't care. I hated yelling and I didn't want to argue. I just wanted to put Dawn to sleep and go to bed myself.

Maybe have another drink or two.


	61. Emerald

I held Dawn in my arms as we watched the Little Mermaid. Dawn watched quietly and rocked her body to the music and I tapped my foot. I liked this movie since before she was born. I remember going to see it with Laroy and Cassius. I know it was a odd choice but granted we had no other option. I remember it being a busy ass Friday night and we would've gotten a chance to see Back to the Future II, Street Magnolias or if worst came to worst we could've seen My Left Foot, but instead all were sold out. And whose fault was it? Cassius of course. He just had to get something to eat because he "hated movie food". Who doesn't like popcorn and a coke? But I digress, since there was just enough tickets to see the 8:30 show of the Little Mermaid and we had nothing else better to do we saw it. We looked odd going in there being the only people over 10 who weren't parents but we saw the movie anyway. And I LOVED it.

It made me grow a new love for Disney princesses. I was raised with such movies like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Sleeping Beauty and who could forget Ms. Optimism Cinderella. I did enjoy the movies but I found them to be either extremely gullible and/or freakishly cheerful (this spot is mostly for Snow White). But as I watched movies with my kid I realized how much Disney has grown in their respect for women. We aren't gullible and cheerful waiting for our prince to come and fight off the monster, we can be fighters too. Granted we usually depend on the prince but we can at least put in a solid effort.

Tig had his arm around my shoulder but he was dead asleep. He had been watching kids movies when he was with Dawn and now he almost knew the entire Aladdin soundtrack. He even started humming some of it last night when he was with the guys. It was a subconscious thing I guess because he didn't realize it till Juice pointed it out. Then poor Juice walked out of there with a stiff arm. Poor thing. I think he enjoyed the time with his daughter though. They had grown so much closer in the past couple of months. He wouldn't even leave the house till he got a kiss from his favorite let out a loud snore and I leaned back into his arms watching the television. Dawn reached down and fussed, wiggling herself to get off my lap.

"What?" I asked half caring about what she wanted. I didn't want to hear her whine and cry. All I wanted was to lay down some more and maybe finish up watching the movie.

She started whimpering and fussing again. "Make with words, hun. I don't understand crying."

"Down." she said half clear. I placed her on the ground and she wobbled her way to the TV and sat herself down in front of the televison and looked up at it. I put my legs up on the couch and laid my head down on Tig's lap and closed my eyes. I was afraid to go to sleep unmedicated mostly of the dreams. Dreams me being strung up by my thumbs and tortured with a whip. My daughter watching as I was called every name in the book at the crack of the whip. Tig and the club was no where to be found. I normally woke up in a cold sweat, if Tig was there he was up and staring at me. Once I woke up with him holding his nose. Blood was coming through the spaces in between his fingers. Apparently he tried to wake me up and I hit him hard on the nose. So now he lets me work through it on my own.

The first couple times he asked me what was wrong, I ignored him and told him to go back to bed. I was getting sick and tired of people asking me that question and babying me. I just wanted to be left alone, sometimes Tig would get the message and sometimes he thought he could help. It was a good gesture. Before I closed my eyes to go to sleep I heard the doorbell ring. I looked up to see Tig dead asleep, so it was only left to me. I walked back to the front door. I hesitated at first to open it. I took a deep breath in and out. I finally managed enough courage and looked through the peak hole and saw shoulder length brown unkept hair and bright green eyes.

Remy.

I opened the door and the first thing I was greeted with was soft crimson red and green colors. I didn't focus on the object but on Remy. I leaned on in the door frame. "Hello Remy." I said not cracking a smile although, he did.

"Hey there Shug." he said. I finally looked at the gift he gave me. Beautiful dark red flowers were in his hand that were wrapped perfectly. They were a big bundle and it looked so expensive. "These are for you Cher." he said. "Forgive me for not getting to you sooner. I've been...busy."

I took them into my hands and sniffed them gently. The sweet smell was a relief and began to take over the sour smell of my own body odor and the rotting wood that had been plaguing my nostrils in my dreams. That haunting smell. "Thank you." I said. I smiled a bit and felt my cheeks turning hot. "It looks expensive, Cajun." I said stroking the petals with the tip of my finger. "How did you manage to afford this?" I asked.

He smirked at me and shrugged. "A lovely woman felt pity on my poor ol' soul and gave me this gift. I decided to spread the good gesture."

"Yeah." I said, shaking my head not believing a word he said. I stepped out of the way in the door. "Come in for a moment swampblood. You're letting in the bugs."

"Thank ya, Shug." he said stepping into the house and standing there waiting to be offered a seat. Wow this kid had some serious manners. I held out my hand to a kitchen chair. "Take a seat. Would you like anything to drink while I put these in water?"

"Water would do fine."

I looked through the cabinets for a perfect vase and could only find a light colored blue one with flowers painted on it. Nothing professional like I had seen but more child like. I looked at the signature and written in gold letters it said "Alex". I smiled slightly, and filled the vase with water and placed the flowers in it. After I placed the flowers on the dining room table I filled a empty glass with cold water. Remy gratefully took it and drank it down in a few gulps.

"Thank you ma'am." he said. Well even the SAMCRO guys didn't even treat me like this when they were sober. I nodded and picked myself a beer out of the fridge. I opened the cap and started drinking it down. I was half way done when Remy started talking again. "Ya didn' seem like the drinkin' type."

"I'm not." I said. "I don't know."

"How long has it been since you got home?"

I rolled my eyes. "Enough questions, already."

"I'm inquisitive."

"Or just noisy."

"I'd like to think more concerned."

"Almost two months I guess." I replied started to drink my beer.

"Ah." he said. "When are ya gonna open that restaurant, Cher? I need a job soon. Gettin' sick of eatin' Ramen noodles and ketchup."

"Oh my god." I said with over dramatized concern. "God forbid. I only got kidnapped by a psycho and his Nazi pets! Now I'm in no shape to even think about that shit!"

Remy didn't say a word. He just listened. One hand was on his chin and the other was wrapped around his nearly empty glass of water. He sipped it and looked me up and down with those emerald green eyes. "I know you don't care how I feel-."

"You're damn right."

"I just think you need a distraction."

"I already got one."

"What's that?"

"My daughter."

"So other than that you've been doing practically nothing but sit around and drink."

"You don't get it."

"Maybe not. I just want you to have that look in your eye like you did before, shug."

"You don't know me that well. How would you know?"

Remy shrugged and stared into my eyes. My hand was relaxed on the table when I felt something warm touch the top of my hand. I violently pulled my hand back from his. "Don't do that." I said.

"Sorry." he said holding his hands up as if the cops had shined a light in his eye. "I should've asked for your permission."

"Right." I said, wanting another beer badly. I got up and checked to see what Dawn was doing. She had fallen asleep on the floor next to her Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal. I smiled a little and went to the fridge to get another beer. I noticed my hands were shaking and my heart was pacing. I hated sudden movements at the last minute and Remy gave me quite a scare. Now I was nothing but nervous and shaky. I took one of the pills from the kitchen cabinets over the fridge and I washed it down with my beer. After a few minutes I felt a little better but still paranoid.

Remy ran his fingers through his hair. "Hows Dawn?" he asked. He heard a loud snore coming from the living room and raised an eyebrow. "I hope that wasn't her."

I shook my head. "Nope. That's Tig. Dawn is okay. She's a strong little girl." I peaked my head out to see Mrs. Puff laying on Tig's lap and Iggy coming up from the basement. Tig wanted him out of his way so he hid Iggy's favorite toy in the basement. For the past two hours he had been looking for his toy. Iggy walked over to Remy and stared at him.

"Hey boy." he said, holding out his hand. Iggy sniffed it, placed his toy at Remy's feet and licked his outstretched hand.

"He's afraid of damn near everything. Not much of a protector." I replied.

"Not every dog can be Lassie."

"He could at least bark or something."

Remy shook his head and petted Iggy on the head. Iggy loved all the attention and put his head on Remy's lap. "Does Tigger like animals?" he asked. I shook my head. He did like animals in the sense that he didn't want them in his house. "He's not a big fan of them in his home. The only animal he had as a kid was a cat that hated him and a couple of fish."

"Oh." Remy said giving one final pat on Iggy's head. Iggy wasn't used to a lot of attention from us but when he got it he relished in it. He hit softly on Remy's leg and whimpered. "Ah, now boy. Someone enjoys attention." Iggy thinks he's still a little puppy, not aware that he had grown into a very big dog, so he jumped on Remy and started licking his face. Remy laughed and petted Iggy down. "Calm down big guy. You have a nice dog, Cher."

"Thanks." I said half hearted. I stared out the window at the kids playing outside and the parents whom I used to associate myself with. Now I preferred sitting at home with a book. I hated them and their questions. Oh the questions annoyed the fuck out of me. "How did you get that bruise on your face?"

"Is Dawn okay?"

"Why haven't we seen you around?"

Fuck off!

I turned my attention back to Remy. His green eyes were staring at me intensely.

"Why don't you go take Dawn for a walk or something? Get some fresh air. I'll go with you."

"No." I said, shaking my head. My heart was pounding in my ear and my palms started to sweat around the cold beer bottle. I gulped some of the last of my beer and put it down. "No. I'm fine." I said staring out the window.

"Oh come on." Remy said. "I think Iggy looks like he needs a walk."

I rolled my eyes. "Can you stop pestering me!" I exclaimed. "I know he needs a walk!"

"Alright, alright." Remy said in a calm voice. "I didn't mean to seem pushy Cher-."

"Stop calling me that!" I exclaimed. "I'm sick of the Cajun Bayou nicknames! Just stop!"

"Apologies." he said. He finished the last of his water and petted Iggy. "I'll take my leave if you don't mind."

I let him go. My arms were folded against my chest and I watched him leave. I pushed my hair out of my face and looked at Dawn. Still sleeping on the floor on her blanket. I couldn't understand or even rationalize why I didn't want the Cajun to leave. I mean I barely knew him except in passing but he seemed a little different than the men that I was used to. Like he really cared. Not saying the bikers that I hung around with didn't care but Remy cared in a different way. The welcoming grin, the messy way he wore his clothes and hair, the accent, the mannerism, those emerald eyes. Remy was almost out the door when I sighed and said loud enough for him to hear. "Wait."

"Yes?" he asked, peaking his head into the kitchen.

* * *

I tightened my shoulders and held my arms against my chest. Dawn was wide awake and staring at the trees, trying to grab at the leaves. Remy was pushing the stroller while I walked Iggy. The sounds of the cars passing by was loud against my ears. My heart was pounding so hard against my chest and the people passing by nearly made me jump.

"Isn't this nice?" Remy asked suddenly, making me jump again.

"Yeah." I said trying to hide my face from the others. I knew the bruises were gone but I felt them as if they were yesterday. Remy smiled at me, making my cheeks hot and red.

"Its nothing like the weather in Louisiana." he mused. "The smell of food frying and the swamp, and the flowers blooming, leaving a smell to linger when the wind blows. The sound of jazz from the street performers that seem to follow you wherever you turn. And oh, when night time comes around. A great big party that would make a SAMCRO bash appear like a Southern Belle Tea Party." He sighed. "Oh, I love to go there again."

I scrunched my nose at the way he talked. All the metaphors and shit were confusing me. But I did get a pretty good picture of what he was talking about. "Why don't you?" I asked.

"I need to spread my wings a bit. I like it here. I might decide to stay for awhile."

"Yeah my mom liked it too."

"You weren't born here?"

"Oh I was. My brother wasn't." I explained, loosening my arms from my chest as I talked. "My mom met my Dad here when she visited from Brooklyn. I forget why, but I guess she was hitting her hippie stage and wanted to move to Cali. Long story short my parents married, and lived here for awhile in wedded bliss. Grandmama got sick a year or so after they were married and went back to Brooklyn where my brother was born. They moved back after she died."

"Ah." he said. "That's interesting."

"Not really."

"Of course it is. My whole family is Louisiana blood. I would like to say my mom is from Brooklyn. Well if you count my mother being from Louisiana. She was born in Virginia. Still southern but not Cajun at all."

"Really? What is she?"

"English. Ophelia Fairchild to put names in. It was very controversial in the family that my father married a English woman."

That explained the green eyes. "Well judging from your last name you're French."

"Romanian-French and English. I'm ain't pure blood, but that don't matter. It's what mother nature intended."

"Ah." I said with a smile. "I'm boring. I'm Puerto Rican and Polish."

"Now that's interesting. Usually you hear borin' past like...what is Tig?"

I shrugged. "He doesn't know. His mom was adopted. His dads side is very, very, very German from what I hear and his mom is Irish and Welsh at least she thinks."

"See." Remy said with a smile. "Boring. I hear that ev'ryday. You're far more interesting." I would've disagreed but I assumed he was just trying to make me laugh.

"Meh." I said shrugging, trying not to laugh, but the look of misery on Tig's face when his father and mother become involved. Last time we saw his dad, Harry screamed at Tig that if he didn't get off his lazy ass and get a real job he'd cut him out of the will. Which was fine with Tig because his dad had no money. I swore his father was getting worse. Now every once in awhile he would run by and see him, then demand that I burn his clothes so he could get the stench out. Very colorful parents.

I saw a bench near the playground and desperately needed a break from off my feet. I took Iggy off his leash and let him roam free around the grass. I think he enjoyed it more than when Tig played fetch with him. That was a every once in awhile occurrence. Iggy stuck his nose in the grass, barked and followed whatever it was. Then would run around, chase his tail and dig.

I sat on the bench with Remy next to me and held Dawn in my arms. "Tiggy is dead tired." I said. "Between the club business and taking care of me and his little girl. He hasn't had a moments peace of mind."

"He loves you a lot." Remy said, looking up into the blue sky.

"Yeah." I said not certain but I did believe it...sort of. The more I sat and looked out at the calm setting the calmer I felt. I leaned back and crossed my leg over the other. It was a really good idea of him. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Getting me out of the house." I turned to look at him and he smiled. He pushed my hair out of my face and ran a finger down my cheek and to my chin. "Don't know why you're hiding behind all that hair, Shug-." He covered his mouth. "Sorry."

"No it's fine. I just... I don't know. I've been feeling bad lately."

"Ain't no problem." he said. "Just focus on what you need to get done. Ev'ryone should understand."

"Yeah."

"Can I ask you somethin'?" he asked. My heart jumped so loudly I thought Dawn could feel it because she looked at me and then looked down at her shoes.

"Sure." I said nervously.

He hesitated and scratched his head. "When I uh, heard about what happened. I walked past a couple of the guys... and they might've lost something."

"Like?"

"Well does Mrs. Morrow's husband own a pretty nice watch?"

"Yeah, a silver one I think."

"Ah." Remy pulled out a silver watch that looked like Clay's. "Well give this to him."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Did you take it?"

"Uh," he hesitated. "Sorry. Old habits die hard, Cher. When you live on the street you do what you have to do."

I rolled my eyes and took the watch and put it in my pocket. "Yeah, I understand."

"Please don't tell him I took it. I already have 'nough shit on my head."

"Alright, alright." I said trying to hold back a laugh again. "I won't I promise."

"Oh, and Mr. Teller might've lost a ring as well."

I frowned and took it. "Alright." I said.

"Oh and I think Tigger might've lost a chain." he said holding up a gold chain. I frowned and shook my head. "That's not Tig's." I said. He nodded his head and placed it in his pocket. "Oh, well we're square."

I couldn't hold it in any longer. I let out a laugh that I hadn't felt in such a long time. It hurt to even let out such a bellow but I couldn't help it. The concept was hilarious. A bunch of scary bikers were out witted by a scrawny pick pocket. I guess we all have our own moments. "My god." I said after a bit wiping a tear from my face. "How did you do that?" I asked.

"It's quite simple." he said. "You distract them for one." He said running his hand through my hair and down my back. Sudden chills crept up my spine and my heart let out a flutter. "It takes years to learn it. I just steal what I can't afford. Which is everything." he said with a chuckle. "Sometimes it's a simple flirt, sometimes I drop something, sometimes people are just too distracted."

He placed his hand under his chin and smirked at me. I shook my head and tried to brush off that feeling he gave me. Dawn looked at me and smiled a little. I smiled back. "Well what was the point of playing with my hair."

"Did you happen to have your Virgin Mary necklace on today."

"Yeah." I said touching my chest when I noticed it was gone. He held it on his index finger perfectly intact. "How did you do that?" I asked snatching it back.

"It takes practice, turtle dove." he said putting his hands behind his head and looking up at the blue sky. "But you don't want to get too good."

"Is that why you had to leave New Orleans?" I asked.

"Nah." he said. "The whole point is to get so good you don't realize it. Which can be a problem." I chuckled and shook my head. "I do feel bad though. That's why I returned it. The ring had a reaper engraved on it."

"Yeah." I said. I looked into his eyes and though I felt something in them that I haven't seen before. I smiled a bit and looked deeper into them as if I was trying to search for something. He leaned up so he could look at me, and something in me told me to just kiss him. It made me feel better to be close to someone so absent from what I had been through. Suddenly I became aware of where I was and who I was. I heard Dawn say "Dada."

I turned around and quickly straightened myself into place. I heard a motorcycle roar. Remy stood up and leaned on the bench, and I walked toward Tig's motorcycle that stopped in front of the bench. "What's going on?"

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Here." I said. "Dawn needed some fresh air and so did Iggy."

"Oh." He said eyeing Remy.

"Afternoon Mr. Trager." Remy said. "Fine weather today."

Tig muttered something about him being a hick from butt fuck Bayou or something along those lines. "Why are you with him?" he asked.

"He came by and dropped over flowers for me."

"So why did he go on a walk with you and Dawn and not me?"

"You were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you. Why are you leaving?"

"Club business." he said. "Very important."

"Ah." I said, I planted a kiss on his lips, which he seemed kinda shocked at, but he looked out of the corner of his eye and saw Remy. He pulled me back into another kiss except longer and more passionate. "I'll be back tonight." he said giving Dawn a kiss on the cheek as well. He reved up his bike and took off down the road. I turned to look Remy who had take a sudden interest in looking at Iggy play around in the grass. "You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah." he said quietly. "I think I should leave." He starting to make his way back.

"Why?" I asked. I didn't like the feeling of being alone in the house at all. I knew Tig was going to be gone for a short while but it might as well have been hours.

"I just think I should. I got to get to the diner on Main so I can get some of the left over fries."

"I could fix you something to eat."

"Don't trouble yourself."

"It's no trouble."

"No, I think it's best I leave. I did intrude a bit."

"Remy.." I said. "Tig is a jealous son of a bitch-."

"Oh no it's not Tigger." Remy said with a smile. "Want me to walk you back?"

"Sure." I said. I called Iggy back and put him on the leash and put Dawn back in her stroller. We walked back up to the house, Iggy moving slower than before. I couldn't understand what brought Remy down so much-. Wait, why the hell did I care about Remy? Now that was a real question I couldn't get even a slight answer to. I mean he was a cool kid, pretty good looking but to me I didn't feel he'd be a perfect choice for a lover. He had nothing but the clothes on his back and his guitar. What could he bring for Dawn and I? Nothing. Well I did hear Romanian men made good lovers-. I stopped myself from thinking right there as we got to the house.

"Thanks a lot." I said, nodding my head.

"Anytime." he said outstretching his arms to me. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight. We looked at each other my head nearly tilting up to see his face, but I pulled away. "Good night." I said letting Iggy in the house. "Hey are you busy Saturday?" He asked.

"Maybe not. Why?" I asked.

"Well I've got this gig at a jazz bar. So I was wondering if you wanted to hang around there for a bit."

"I would love that." I said, smiling a little.

"Cool." He said walking backwards not taking his eye off me until I walked into the house. I don't know what made me feel whole. Maybe it was the entire time he made me feel better. The little piece of dignity that Whistler had taken away from me, had been revived again, but I couldn't figure out how.

* * *

_Okay guys. It seems a little shocking that Apples is straying away from Tig but take it like this. Some people need that little lift to make them feel attractive and desirable as we saw with Gemma and Tig. Apples knew she was a good looking girl despite her heritage but Whistler made her feel lower than low and to have Remy around made her feel attractive again. just in case some people were scratching their heads. What will happen in this saga? Stay tuned. :D _

_-Val 3_


	62. The Little Kiss

"Why are you going to a club?" Tig asked, putting on his cut as I finished the last of my make up. I shrugged and checked to see if the eyeshadow was blended in enough and fuck me it wasn't. I hated doing smokey eye, it never seemed dark enough. "Remy is playing there. He wanted me to come. It's alright if you go as well."

Tig scoffed and walked toward me. He wrapped his arm around my waist and put a kiss on my neck. "Why not just come with me? Saturday nights are always fun at the club." I shook my head fixed a croooked pin in my hair. "Because I promised Remy and I don't want to let him down."

"Fuck him. Who cares what he thinks?"

"I do." I said.

He muttered something under his breath and let go of my waist. "Well I'm not going." he said. I rolled my eyes and put some perfume on. Cherry Vanilla was Tig's favorite, and I think that pissed him off the most. He stopped and smelled the air, and started grumbling like a cranky old man "Can you give me a ride?" I asked.

"Where is it?"

"I don't know. Where is the only jazz club in Charming?" I asked sitting on the bed next to Dawn.

"It's close to the clubhouse."

"Then drop me off." I said resisting the urge to snap at him.

Tig got to eye level with me. One hand was placed on each side beside my leg. "Remy has a giant woody for you." he said matter of factly.

"Yeah?" I said with an eyebrow raised. "Doesn't mean he's going to get anything."

"Are you sure about that? You guys seemed pretty cozy on that bench."

"We were just talking. I can't talk to anyone but you and the club?"

"Whatever." he said. "Fuck this shit." He walked out the room and said something along the lines that Charlotte would be here soon to baby sit Dawn. I picked up Dawn and held her in my arms. "Don't be such a rush to get married. Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them."

She looked at me and said something in her baby language. I kissed her head while she still talked. She was starting to talk a lot lately, that was a relief. For awhile she had been quiet, unless she was scared, hungry or cranky. She even started to walk around the house again. It wasn't long till I heard a the doorbell ring and Charlotte's voice say loudly. "Oh Alex! How are you?"

"Nothing." he said quietly.

"Hows the two lovely ladies?"

"Fine."

"Are you okay?"

"No. But I will be. I'm going back to the clubhouse later on."

"Oh well tell your friends I said hi."

"Yeah." he called up to me. "Apples if you want a ride get down here now!" I quickly got my purse and held Dawn close to me as I made my way down the stairs. Charlotte smiled at me. "Why hello there beautiful." she said. "Have a hot date with Alex?"

I shook my head with a smile. "No I'm going to the jazz club. One of my friends is playing there."

"Ah." Charlotte said noticing the disdain in Tig's face. "Well have fun." she said. She looked at Dawn and held her arms out to her and Dawn did the same. "Hey baby girl. Did ya miss your Mom mom?"

Dawn laughed and gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Charlotte left a kiss on her cheek and cuddled with her. "She's already fed and she should be ready to go to sleep. Just put on a movie for her to watch before then." I said.

"Okay." Charlotte said kissing Tig and I on the cheek. "You kids have fun okay?"

"Yes ma'am." I said, trying to keep up with Tig who was half way out the door and to his bike. I couldn't keep up with him in high heeled boots but I did my best. By the time I was there he looked at me with impatience. "C'mon.. lets go."

"Sorry." I said, hopping on and putting on the helmet before he took off. I almost lost my balance and had to grab him by the cut. I pulled myself up and wrapped my arms around his waist. We rode in silence and he was driving mercilessly fast. I wasn't even sure if we were going to make it there alive with all the curves and shit he was doing. Tig stopped suddenly at the sight of the jazz club and I hit my chin on his fucking shoulder. I never known the name till I saw in blue neon it read. "The Little Kiss."

"Are you going to pick me up?" I asked handing Tig back his helmet and trying to get the feeling back in my chin.

"Find a ride back." Tig said coldly.

"Don't be like that Tig. Theres nothing going on between Remy and I."

"Yeah." Tig said. "Just be back by twelve."

"You can be so cruel." I said, walking away and into the club, while also pushing back tears and resentment. When I entered the club it was packed almost to capacity. The dance floor was filled with couples, which made my heart sink even more than it already had. I watched the band looking out especially for Remy. He was dressed in a nice button up black shirt and black pants to match. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbow and his shirt was unbutton just enough so I could see his black undershirt. The way he played I could tell he was right where he wanted to be. He actually played jazz really good. Really good is a underestimation, he played great! I sat in a empty table up at the front and watched him. He noticed me and flashed me a smile and continued to play. I started to blush a little even. He was adorable. Even if Tig did have a little hissy fit it was worth it to watch him happy.

I ordered a martini or two, while I watched him. We kept making eye contact from across the room, and sometimes he would stare at me while playing. With enough alcohol in my system I forgot about the fiasco with Tig and enough lustful stares. Soon enough as I hoped he came over to my table for his break and ordered a scotch. He leaned back in his seat, and smiled. "What do you think?"

"I love it." I said ordering my fourth or fifth martini. I chuckled and asked. "How did you get so good."

"Practice, Cher." he said downing his scotch and ordering another one.

"You have enough money for that?" I asked.

"Yeah i get free drinks." he replied. He looked at me as I finished my fourth or fifth drink and replied. "Are you drunk already?"

"Tipsy." I replied ordering another one.

"Slow down, Cher. We got all night."

"I just want to kinda forget." I replied looking down at my empty drink, and not into his eyes. "Just relax."

Remy sipped his scotch and flattened his hair. "You like the new look?" he replied.

"You clean up well." I said, looking up at him with a smile.

"Want to dance?" He asked, gulping down his scotch. I hesitated at first and looked around the room, at how fast the couples were dancing. Some were even sweating. "Not on a fast song." I said. Remy shook his head. "It'll be fun. C'mon."

He stood up and extended his hand. I finished my martini and took his hand. We went to the dance floor and I started to move my hips to the beat and it seemed like a no brainer. It was actually fun. Tig wasn't much of a dancer but Remy could cut a rug. Probably because he was from New Orleans. He was used to dancing to Louis Armstrong and Sidney Bechet. Tig was a biker, they didn't dance they pretty much dry humped you. Which is fun if you're ready to get into the mood, but it was nice to show off my Latin roots. We were born to dance. Even my bulky big brother could cut a rug if he wanted to. "If you think this is fun you'll love New Orelans." he said over the music.

"When are you going to take me?" I asked with a smile.

"Whenever you want, baby."

Baby.

My heart skipped a beat. I loved the way he said it. Very sexy. "How about tomorrow?" I asked. Remy shrugged playfully. "Sure. As long as you're up for a long bus ride. Just beware of the voodoo freaks. They'll try and trick you into anything."

"Oh please. I had a neighbor from Haiti. I'm more than aware of what they do."

"Well then you're not too naive after all." He spun me and pulled me close to me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck giving him that look. You know... _that look_. I couldn't help but get really horny around him. The bummy not giving a shit look was cute but when he looked nice he looked incredibly sexy. "When do you want to get out of here?" I asked.

"Well I'm done in a hour or so. You want to hang around until then?"

"Okay." I said. He nodded to one of the black musicians who motioned him to come over. He kissed my hand and made his way back to the band. I sat back down and ordered another martini.

* * *

After his set we went to a pretty nice Mercedes that Remy had the key for. "You had this the entire time?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.

"No I uh... borrowed it from a friend."

"Uh huh." I said not bothering to ask any questions. I knew the drill. Questions were a danger to yourself and a burden to others. I got in and he drove past the club, and I looked away to avoid any strange looks from any of the wandering eyes of the club. Saturday nights were big for SAMCRO. They just liked to party. I didn't care to be apart of it right now. Remy watched as he saw bikers doing wheelies on their bikes then he looked at me. "What's wrong Cher?"

"I don't want to talk about it.." I said. After awhile I just wanted to release what I've been feeling especially to someone I knew wouldn't try and approach Tig about it. "He can be so mean sometimes."

"Who?"

"Vincent Price." I said sarcastically. "Tig. I meant Tig."

"Oh. I think he means well..he probably just doesn't know how to communicate with you-."

"Don't defend him." I said. "Just listen." I took out a cigarette from my purse and lit it up I exhaled and stared out the window. "Sometimes, he has a heart and he can be the love of my life, but sometimes he can be so nasty and so mean. Like today, he refused to give me a ride back."

"Why?"

"He's jealous. No other reason other than he's jealous of you."

"Me? Why me?"

"I rather hang out with you than to hang out with him and the club. Not that I hate the club I just don't want it to be my world. It's the only thing he's had that has been consistent in his life. His dad kicked him out when he was a kid, his mom left home before then, every girlfriend he's had is dead, a bitch, or a super slut. Besides Dawn and the club that's all he has that's completely his. He knows what he is and what's his place but I feel like I don't fit in his world. I think if he had an option to choose between my life or Dawn's without hesitation he'd say Dawn's. I would want for him to choose her, but he wouldn't grief over the decision. He'd get over it as long as he had his little girl and his club. Most importantly the club though. I like the life but I don't want it to become the only thing I live for."

Remy pulled over and listened as I told him every problem that Tig and I had. I had never opened up my soul like that to anyone. Every detail that went wrong or right. It felt good to just have someone listen. Gemma would try to correct and see it from his point of view. He could never be wrong because he was the trigger man for the club. He was always right no matter what he'd done. He had a reason for everything. Even Charlotte would try to justify his actions. Mostly blaming it on herself. Mama was right, no matter what happens a child should always love their mother, because even if Tig was facing a firing squad Charlotte would be the one to defend him with every last breath she had. That's what a mother did. Sure I went on and on about it, but Remy he listened, he asked questions not to pry for more but to get a clearer picture.

"Want to take a walk?" he asked pointing to the large hill from where the car was parked.

I looked up at it and looked at the Cajun. "Sure." I nearly stumbled out the car and landed flat on my butt. I started to laugh through the pain in my ass. He picked me up by my hands and didn't let go as we walked up the hill.


	63. Cajun Kiss

When we reached the top of the hill, we collapsed in the grass. I couldn't tell if Remy was drunk or not. He always seemed so in control of himself. I wondered if he ever did lose control and if he did what would happen. He rested beside me, and we both stared up at the sky full of stars. It was so beautiful. I wanted to be like one of the stars that only had no goal, they just lived until they died out. No fears, cares or worries. I wanted to be a giant flaming ball of gas as weird as that sounded.

"How does it feel?" he asked me after several minutes of silence. I turned away from the stars above me to look at him. Those green eyes illuminated in the moonlight and were so beautiful.

"How does it feel to what?" I asked, leaning into him. My face almost to his. I could even smell the scotch that came from him. Reminded me of my father when he would relax in his favorite chair after work. I don't know how many martini's I had but Remy looked even more fuckable at night.

"To be an old lady?"

That was a interesting question. I never thought of it. A lot of the women I was forced to associate with loved it. The respect, the power, the feeling of knowing that their man is a protector of Charming, a place that resembled a Scooby-Doo ghost town. However I never thought of it that way. I pushed my hair back and cleared my throat.

"It's like being a bird, stuck in a cage. Everyone is watching you, telling you when you can sing and when you can't. Even though that's the only thing you can do because they clip your wings. You're always on the look out for someone to rattle your cage and when they do there's absolutely nothing you can do about it except sing when no one's looking or listening. Everyone's watching you to see if you'll fuck up and if you do they want to know how badly. Especially since my cage has been rattled and fucked up. It's hard to raise a kid, and still be the strong old lady. They keep smiling at me, and telling me it's alright when it's not." I felt myself start to cry, and I didn't have the strength to push them back anymore. My hands were shaking and I covered my face.

"You need a distraction Cher. Just get your restaurant up and-."

"Fuck you!" I exclaimed sitting up on my butt. "I can't do that shit anymore! You just don't get it, do you? You're just like them! They act like they know what I mean but they don't! No one does. Ever since I got home… sometimes I just want to end it... All I see is those fucking bastards coming around the corner out to get me. I don't know what I can do to be normal again... Tig doesn't even understand... I have no one to talk to... I don't even feel like myself anymore."

Remy listened but didn't say anything until I couldn't talk anymore and I broke down crying into my hands. It felt like a river of tears were falling from my face. Remy sat up and placed one hand on each cheek so I'd look up at him. "You've been through a lot of shit. You're one of the strongest women I've ever seen. A lot of women would be in an asylum by this time, but not you. I admire you for that. But you can't just sit in ya house and sulk. You got a kid, and ya have to be strong for her too. It ain't gonna to be easy but _c'est la vie_."

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked wiping my eyes, knowing my make-up was smeared to shit.

"Such is life. Life ain't meant to be easy, Cher. If it were, this wouldn't have happened to ya." I nodded in understanding and before I knew it I felt his lips touch mine. It was a quick kiss like something you would give your grandma, but I felt different. Like that warm feeling I used to get when I would kiss Tig. It wasn't empty and cold like we both just wanted to get it over with, but it felt like I was actually wanted. I ran my fingers down his chin and planted another one on his lips.

At first he seemed stunned that I kissed him back. He wrapped his arms around me and ran his hands through my hair and down my back. Sweet and sensual kisses. Lord, it was heaven. Feeling his lips against mine and his tongue gently gliding across mine. I pulled him on top of me, and wrapped my legs around his waist. I took one his hands that were gently rubbing my arm and placed it in between my legs. I think I once again shocked him because he pulled his hand away.

"What?" I asked, using my elbows as support

"Apples, c'mon…" he said realizing he lost control. "You're drunk, I'm a little buzzed myself and we're on a fuckin' hill. Let me just take ya home."

"I don't want to go home, I want to be here." I said, sitting up so I could give him another kiss and pulling him into it, but he pulled away. I took a strand of his hair and played with it. Remy took my hand and kissed it. "Sorry, Cher.."

"You're worried about Tig?" I asked and shook my head. "We haven't touched each other in a while. If he can be with other girls why can't I be with other guys? It'll make me feel better, Rem." I said running my hand up and down his chest and started to unbuckle his pants. I could feel him already hard, making that feeling throughout my body more intense than before. I hadn't felt this good since before Dawn was born and I wasn't going to let that feeling die. I was proud of myself to think of wearing a skirt. I lifted it up and slid my bikini briefs off and threw them somewhere in the grass.

Remy looked doubtful but after a few minutes he leaned in to kiss me and explored my body. He kissed me down the neck and started to work his way down. I sat back and as I stared up at the stars and felt Remy give me an Australian kiss and oh, I felt whole again. I didn't worry about the club, not even the Nords. I just worried about me and what I wanted and what I wanted right then is him.

Pleasure.

I dragged my nails up and down my thighs and to my stomach. I didn't understand why that tiny bit of pain it felt good, but it felt great. The scratches intensified this feeling of my Cajun Devil Kiss.

After a while he came up and kissed me, and rubbed my cheeks. I pushed him on his back and pulled at his black pants. "Want me on top or bottom?" I asked. He shook his head and leaned back in the grass. I didn't know what that meant but I started to go down on him anyway. Just as I expected from a Cajun but not from a Frenchmen, he was very thick. I think he loved it at first because he was moaning, siging and grabbing my hair. I grinned knowing that I had learned a lot from Tig. I knew how to take a big man. I was at least a good way into it, when suddenly he pushed my head up. "Stop." He said. He buckled back up his pants. I frowned and folded my arms. "What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna take you home."

"What?" I asked, grabbing his arm. "No, you don't have to finish now. I'm fine. C'mon Remy.." I said moving a little closer to him. My face against his. I wanted that feeling again, and I'd do anything just to keep it even a minute longer. He took both of my hands into his.

"Not this way." He said.

My eye twitched and I exhaled sharply through my nose. I folded my arms. "What you think I'm ugly or something?" I asked.

Remy frowned and shook his head. "_Ce n'est pas grave_, Shug. I think you're the prettiest rose in the garden. And I wanted ya since the first time I saw ya. Remember? But I rather have ya when ya actually want me and you're not doin' it to make ya old man mad."

"Tig?" I said rolling my eyes. "Don't worry about him. We're having problems. It doesn't matter."

"I'd rather take ya when your mind isn't all mixed up."

"Tig won't do shit." I lied. "He's all talk."

"You know I don't mind a little risk. I enjoy it. It makes it ten times better, no? I just rather do it when ya know what ya want. Besides I rather risk my neck for ya with a ring on your finger than for a one night stand."

"How do you know I only want it to make Tig mad?" I asked, trying to find my undies in the midst of the tall grass.

"I know the look."

"Look? What look?"

"Just trust me, Cher."

"What are you prude or something?" I asked taking offense that he acted like he could see right through me or something. Maybe I was mad that I couldn't find my underwear but either way I felt cheated. Remy shook his head. "Please." He said with a laugh. "Far from it. But I'll tell you all about that next time."

"If there is a next time." I said spitefully.

"_S'il vous plaît_." He said standing on his feet extending his hand towards me. "Need some help getting up?" he asked.

"No." I said standing up and falling down flat on my butt. "Well maybe a little." He helped me up and to the car that he "borrowed" from a friend. We drove in absolute silence. I was mostly thinking about why he hadn't taken the bait. I was practically throwing myself at him and he pushed me away. I felt like a fool. Like shit to add onto that. I figured if I tried harder then maybe he'd go for it. I pushed my top down a bit. Thank God I had Dawn, it made my boobs look like mini beach balls. I saw his eyes follow them and then turning back to look at the road.

"Remy?" I asked turning to him.

"Hmm?" he said looking down at my chest again, probably not intentionally but I still caught his attention. I placed my hand on his thigh, and he twitched. "Cher…" he sighed. "C'mon…"

"Please?" I said feeling another wave of tears coming through my eyes. "I love you Remy." I didn't mean it but maybe if I was a little fluffy he'd come at me.

Remy pulled the car over and placed it park. He looked at me like with sympathy in his eyes. "Apples, number one you're drunk off ya ass. You don't know what you're saying. Number two you're hiding a lot of pain. I can understand shug, but ya can't be throwing yourself around like a whore. You're only hurting yourself. Number three I don't want to fuck you like you are some cheap lay. I rather have you when your heart is in it. Number four-." I had enough. I got out of the car and started to walk my way towards home wherever that was. I could barely walk in the high heeled boots and I could barely keep balance, but I was going to try to make my way home anyway.

Remy got out of the car and started running after me. "Apples! Where are you going?

"Home!" I yelled back. He ran after me and grabbed my arm hard. Something in me reacted like he was Whistler. I turned around and slapped him as hard as I could. I gasped and covered my mouth. He inhaled and exhaled through his nose and sat on the curb. "It was my fault." Remy said. "I shouldn't have grabbed you like that."

"I'm sorry." I said sitting on the curb with him. He lit up a cigarette and offered me one. I took one and let him light It for me. I exhaled and brought my knees close to my chest. "I didn't mean to."

"No I understand." He said he sighed and after a few minutes he replied in a soft whisper. "You should never feel sorry for what ya had to go through."

I didn't say anything. I debated whether Remy was right. Was I just trying to get with him just to get back at Tig for the way he had been behaving lately? I would like to think that wasn't the full reason. I wouldn't have changed what had happened for anything. Half of me wanted to smirk at Tig knowing that he had as much fun as I did and the other half wanted him. I just wanted to fuck him, and then we'd pass out in the grass together in each other's arms. It had been so long since I'd fallen asleep next to someone. As much as I wanted to feel whole again there was nothing I could do to convince him that I was sincere, but I felt something else. Any of the other club members would go against club rules and try and hit this. They were brothers but even family members hurt each other. Remy wasn't scared of Tig and probably liked the thrill knowing that he was with the Sergent-at-Arms old lady but he wanted it to mean something. I felt special and I didn't need him to fuck me to know I meant something to him, but I still couldn't shake off that feeling of being crushed under what has been happening to me.

I felt myself start to come to tears. The thought of the monsters destroying what was left of my soul. To try and hurt myself and my child yet I was still standingeven though I didn't want to. Instead of being the typical to take advantage of that he stopped, but I still wanted him. Probably more than I did before. I placed my hands to my head and started singing the song my father sang when he felt overwhelmed or he had the guilt of being one of two members of his family to survive the Holocaust. I sang it softly under my breath so I couldn't let Remy hear but as I progressed it became louder.

"_Yerushalayim shel zahav Ve-shel nehoshet ve-shel or Ha-lo le-khol shirayikh Ani kinnor. Hazarnu el borot ha-mayim La-shuk ve-la-kikkar Shofar kore be-Har ha-Bayit Ba-ir ha-attikah U-va-me'arot asher ba-selah Alfey shemashot zorhot Nashuv nered el Yam ha-Melah Be-derekh Yeriho_."

"What are you singin'?" Remy asked, after listening for awhile.

"It's Hebrew I think." I said putting out the cigarette in the street. "My father sang it."

"Your father was a Jew, huh?"

"Yeah." I said. "But I'm not."

"What are you then?"

"I don't even know anymore." I said. We sat in silence for several seconds before I continued. "Yeroushalaim Chel Zahav means Jerusalem of Gold. I don't know what the rest of it means. He died before he had a chance to tell me."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"It was quick." I said. "I miss him. He had a beautiful voice when he sang it. I used to join him. I want to pass it on to my daughter so she can pass it onto hers. I don't want it to ever be forgotten."

"That's beautiful Cher." He said. "Some things about my family I wish could be forgotten."

"Like what?"

"You don't want to know." He said darkly, then getting up to walk back to the car.

* * *

Remy dropped me off at my house. "Goodnight." He said. I wrapped my arms around him, and he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "Be safe." He said.

"You too." I said, leaning into him for a bit then pulling myself away. All I wanted was to get back in the house and drink some more. I walked quickly into the house as quietly as possible. I knew it was late and Tig expected me home about midnight. I checked the clock above the staircase that read it was almost to three. I felt like a teenager again. Sneaking into the house, piss drunk trying not to wake up my mom. When I thought I was in the clear I heard someone come down the stairs. My heart jumped and I tried to act really sober. To my relief it was only Iggy. "Hey poo." I said petting his head. He sniffed me and walked away he didn't like the smell of booze.

"Apples?" I heard someone say.

Shit.

"Yeah it's me."

Tig walked down the stairs frowning. "What the fuck? Are you just getting in?"

"Yeah. I had to get a ride remember?" I said going to the kitchen to grab another drink and take another pill.

"Why?"

"I'm not in the mood right now, Alex." I said. "I just want to be alone."

"Tough shit." He spat, following me. "You could've called or something. Charlotte fell asleep upstairs now I have to deal with her tomorrow!"

"Sorry." I said pouring myself another drink and taking one of pills with it.

"Shit Apples." He said. "Don't take that shit if you're already drunk."

"Tough shit." I said, taking the pill and washing it down with vodka. Tig clenched his fist and then slammed his fist against the wall.

"Goddamnit, Apples!" Tig said. "I'm trying my best to be understanding with whatever shit is going through your head, but you're literally going to prance around with another guy. You trying to embarrasses me or some shit? How does that fucking look?"

"Yeah the same way you prance around with those whores. And when I do it, it's a whole different story? You'd laugh in my face if I told you that."

"No I wouldn't."

"Yes you would. You'd say "It's free pussy. I don't love them or nothin'.'" I replied mimicking his voice. "So what if I fucked Remy? I didn't, but let's say I did." I suddenly felt sadistic, and cruel. I wanted him to feel like I felt. Knowing that he probably had his dick wet in loose pussy tonight. "What if I did it, in front of all your friends? And when you walked in I didn't even stop?" I knew I was extremely drunk because I would've gathered enough courage to say that. "I just let him continue fucking me and you couldn't do shit. All you could hear was this." I slammed myself against the cabinets and said in a orgasmic voice. "Oh Remy, oh Remy. Oh Remy, oh Remy-."

He lifted his hand to slap me and I stopped and raised my hands over my head instinctively, instead he slammed his fist into the cabinet above my head about three or four times. He looked at his hand and saw how bad it looked. His knuckles were pretty swollen and were bleeding. I didn't feel anything except drunk. I took another sip of my vodka and struggled to keep my balance.

Tig was so mad he didn't know what to do. I know he wanted to strangle the life out of me but he didn't dare. "You…are such a cold bitch. Sometimes I fucking hate you."

"Oh that's how you feel?" I said, throwing the glass of vodka near him but missing. "Then do something about it! If you hate me so much then do something! Why do you keep me around? Why do you let me take care of your kid?" He stood there like a lump on a log. "Call me a bitch? What am I one of those other sweet butts that you fuck for fun? Don't call me that ever again!" I said shoving him as hard as I could. He walked towards me slowly with the look on his face like I severely pushed him too far. I walked backwards but he grabbed me. Before he could threaten me I pushed and kicked. He held me against the counter top trying to keep me still. His body pushed against mine. We stood there looking eye to eye. He leaned in to kiss me but I pulled away.

"Try it and I'll bite you!" I screamed. He leaned and I lashed out with a bite. He sneered and leaned again and I almost got his chin. The feeling of his control over me was dare I say it… a turn on. When he leaned in once more I planted a kiss on his lips and pulled him toward me, more. He picked me up, with my legs wrapped around him. The rougher he grabbed the more I wanted him. He placed me on the kitchen floor and practically ripped the skirt from my waist and pulled it off. One of his ringed hands felt me where Remy had been earlier.

I took his free hand and placed it around my neck, and grabbed his wrist urging him to squeeze. Oh man did I feel alive that night as he took me on the kitchen floor. I could feel the anger and the lust in his thrust, and the domination as he held me down and squeezed my throat. I never knew I could get any sort of pleasure out of the lack of control but it felt so damn good. Maybe too good. It had gotten even better when he flipped on my stomach with one hand wrapped around my throat and the other digging into my side. It was probably the sex I ever had. The rest was a blur but when I woke up I was in our bedroom, hung over and sticky.

I felt bruises on my skin everywhere, but I didn't mind. I think I even embraced it. Except the giant bruise around my neck, which I covered up with a lot of make-up later. The tension and anger I had been holding in for so long was gone and I felt free. Well better than yesterday, but as I took a shower and washed away that sticky feeling, I still felt that even though Tig and I had come to a small peace I still wanted Remy.

* * *

_:O haha. _

_The song that Apples was singing I heard at the end of the movie Schindler's List and thought it was beautiful. If you're interesting theres a video that I included with the translation. It is a beautiful song sung by Ofra Haza. (if you saw The Prince of Egypt she was the singer who sung Deliver Us. Gorgeous voice.) _

(youtube) .com/watch?v=mybSCz_wPn8 _= That's the song. Sorry FF won't let me post the whole link._

_Thank you all those who have reviewed. The more reviews that happier we'll all be. _

_-Val._


	64. Better Than Fine

**_BLLLEEEERRRRRGGGHHH!_**

I was throwing up again, and again. I don't know what I ate this morning but it didn't agree with my fucking stomach. I sat on my ass and brought my knees close to my chest. I coughed over and over trying to open the passage to my god forsaken lungs so I could breathe. I heard a knock on the door. Like one of those hard knocks.

There are only two people I know that knock like that. One that was Tig and the other was worse. My mom.

"Apollonia!" I heard my mom say.

Oh shit.

"Yes, Mama?"

"Are you drunk or somethin'?"

"No mama."

"Then get your ass out here and take care of your kid! She needs a diaper change!"

I rolled my eyes and tried to get myself together. I wasn't drunk. I actually hadn't drank all that much sense that night, like two weeks ago.

In a nutshell Tig and I had been spending more time together in the clubhouse and out. Dawn and I needed to be around more people. I brought Dawn around the club for a bit, long story short she stayed mostly with me at first but then she got antsy and started walking around exploring. I felt a little sad that she wanted to start walking around but at the same time I was happy. Remember how I said she didn't want to play with Jax anymore. Well she pretty much followed him around the entire time and tried talking to him. But it mostly came out as baby language. I'll give the kid his props, he's really good at faking like he understands.

Tig and I started doing random things that we used to enjoy together. It was two o'clock in the morning and we both decided to tepee the neighbors house. It was fun till the neighbors dog Fido or whatever his name was smelled us and started barking so we made a break for it. Ah the little things that make a difference. It seemed loser-like but you try to sleep after you smoked a shitload of pot and when you close your eyes all you see is squiggly lines and Pink Floyd songs get stuck in your head. There was no real universal point to this story I just wanted to talk about doing stupid shit when I was on pot.

I felt better. Much better than I had in a long time. Tig and I were actually having fun doing stupid shit again, but then this stupid stomach virus came in the mix.

"Are you sure you didn't drink?"

"Yes I am! Mama, I'll be right out."

The minute I walked out of the bathroom Mama was standing there like the short old woman she was. "Thank you." she said with her hands on her hips. "Boo Boo made a stinky."

"You couldn't get it for me?" I asked.

Mama made a face at me and shook her head. "No." she said. "I'm the grandma. I get to watch you do what I had to do with you and Cassius."

I rolled my eyes. Isn't it like my mom? To be spiteful because Cassius would pee rapidly, and spray all over the place, and I liked to run around naked and refused to wear clothes after I got my bath. I walked to my bedroom and there was no Dawn. Just a stinky diaper that probably fell on the floor. I looked all around the room and even under the bed. "Uh, mom?" I asked. "Where's Dawn?"

"I put her on the bed-." She looked around and saw there was no Dawn. My heart jumped as I searched around the room for her. Mama and I frantically tore up the sheets of the bed, looked through the closets, in a pile of Tig's dirty and still no Dawn in sight. I called her name over and over until I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. One hand was on my chest, and the other was clenched into a fist. Then I heard her voice say. "Mama."

Tig came into the bedroom holding a butt ass naked Dawn. He looked shocked but was still smiling. "Where did you find her?" I asked sighing with relief.

"In the guest room." he said. "Little Bunny thought she could scare me. Why is she naked?"

Dawn put her hands over her eyes and moved them as fast as she could and said. "Boo!"

My heart finally calmed down and I sighed again and put my face against Dawn's. "Damn, kid." I said to her. "You scared me."

She flashed me the cutest, mischevious grin ever which reminded me of Tig's. She put hands over her eyes again and moved them even quicker. "Boo!" She started laughing like she used before all the shit that happened. She started to wiggle in her fathers arms. "Down." she said, at least I think.

He put her down and she started to walk around between us, and trying to talk. "Done with your daily nap?" I asked.

"It would be much better if you didn't put that fuckin'-."

Mama flashed Tig that you-better-watch-your-language look and he corrected himself. "If you didn't put that _freaking_ doll near me."

"It's not a doll. It's Piglet."

"Doesn't matter it's still freaky." he shuddered and tried to shake off that feeling. Last time he woke up with a Simba stuffed animal near his foot he kicked it across the room as a natural reflex. Dawn saw Simba fly from one end of the room to the other and she started to cry loudly. She didn't even achknowledge his existence for a bit after that. He wrapped his hand behind my neck and kissed me. Mama rolled her eyes and let out a "Ugh." She picked up Dawn and said. "Well I'm not going to let this child walk around naked and cold. Go ahead. Do your thing. Let Grandma do all the work." Ugh, I hate her guilt trips.

Tig stepped in and said. "I'll do it."

"Really?" I asked.

Whenever Dawn had a stinky before Tig would use the bathroom excuse and come out just after when I was done changing her. Or even better he'd pretend that he heard the phone ring and rush to get it. "Yeah." he said with a shrug. "Why not?"

"Uh, okay." I said. Mama handed Dawn to Tig. He put her on the changing table while, Mom and I tried to clean up the mess we made. Tig seemed to be doing okay until I heard a "OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL!" I turned around quickly to see Tig rush to the bathroom and pull out his toothbrush out and threw toothpaste on it and start brushing his teeth like crazy. Mama was trying to hold back a laugh when I asked. "Uh, baby? What happened?"

"The kid peed in my mouth!" he exclaimed like he was going to cry.

"Oh by the way." Mama called from the other room as she changed Dawn. "She has a tendacy to spray a little. Next time put a clean diaper over her."

"You could've told me that you old Rican monkey!" Tig shouted, gargling mouthwash in his mouth.

"Oh stop being a baby. Oh Mary, you're a bigger baby than Dawn is."

I started laughing my little ass off. That shit was fucking funny. Dawn did get something from Cassius and I. The abnormal peeing and the nakedness. I laughed till I became nauseous and I threw up, but I'm not sure if laughing had anything to do with it.

Funny thing is Tig never changed a diaper ever again.


	65. Emotional Retard

Tig had been missing damn near all day. I knew where he was, he had to go to the hospital to see someone or something. Maybe it was one of the Sons but as far as I knew that wasn't the case. The last thing I remembered this morning before going to throw up again, was him saying that he had to go to the hospital.

I wanted to ask questions but he didn't look like he was in the mood for questions. So here I was, sitting by the phone watching Sesame Street with Dawn, waiting to figure out what the hell happened. She stared up at the television and swayed to the music and tried counting along with them. I wasn't watching it, but mostly listening out for the phone or the door. My hand was curled into a fist, resting under my chin. My eyes glanced at Elmo, then back at the phone, then back at Elmo, then at the door.

Repeat.

I yawned and tried my best to relax, but it was damn near impossible. My mind kept going through all the reasons why he could be at the hospital, and every thought got me a little bit more worried. I tried to calm my shit down, but it only made the suspicions worse. It's like trying to rationalize why there's screams of terror coming from a town that suffered a zombie apocalypse. When I heard the door unlock I jumped off the couch and landed on my feet. Dawn turned her attention from Elmo and wobbled over to Tig. "Dada!" she said. He didn't look too happy, but that didn't stop him from acting happy in front of his kid. He bent down and lifted her up.

She smiled, laughed, played with that curly hair of his and started talking baby language. He smiled weakly but kissed his Dawn. "How was your day?"

Dawn pointed to the TV screen. "Elmo!" she said with her hands raised. A dancing doll on television added to his already crappy mood. Tig shivered and tried not to look at it. He put Dawn back on the floor and she crawled back to the television. I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah." He said quietly. "It's just Dad's dead."

My jaw dropped. "Oh my god." I said, putting a hand over my mouth. "Jesus Christ, what happened?"

Tig shrugged. "It's hard to say. He's been dead for nearly a week before anyone found him. More than likely a heart attack. They needed a living member of his family to identify him. He still smells like shit."

"I'm so sorry." I said, running my hand down his cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Yep." Tig said. "The big asshole is finally dead. I can live the rest of my life in peace." Tig gave me a kiss on the lips, avoided looking at the television and going to the kitchen. I followed him, and watched him closely. He held a big bag of Reese's pieces, a couple of beers, and another big bag of Tortilla chips in both arms. I knew that Tiggy had a sweet tooth, especially when he was stressed out, but I've never seen him like this before.

I think it was more of a cry for help. He went upstairs, and closed our bedroom door. I checked to make sure Dawn was alright, and went upstairs to check on him. He was camped out on the bed, beer bottle open and his hand in the tortilla chips. He looked at me, then back at the television. "Tig?" I asked, sitting next to him. "You okay?"

"Yep." He said, shoving more chips in his face. "Do we have any salsa dip?"

"No. You sure?" I asked.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? What about cheese dip? I can settle for cheese."

"No. We ran out. I'm just saying, well you're really quiet, and you're about to eat your body weight in food."

"I haven't eaten since last night. I'm just hungry."

"Want me to fix you something?"

"No, I'm okay."

"Okay." I sat on the bed and watched him gorgue himself while watching 'Friends'. "What's so funny about this show?" I asked him. Tig shrugged and downed the last of his beer. After several minutes of silence, I sighed. "Are you sure you're really okay?"

"Yes!" Tig said, leaning his head back into the pillow. "Why do you keep asking me that? I said I'm okay."

"Well he was your dad."

"He was an asshole."

"He's still your dad."

"That doesn't mean shit."

"Yes it does. It's alright to be a little sad."

"You don't know the half of the shit that he did and said."

"Well enlighten me."

He opened his second beer, and said. "It's too long of a story. He gambled all the money away, so we had to move to that trailer park, for starters."

"That's why you lived in that shithole, huh?"

"And my mom couldn't stop shopping."

"Sounds like Charlotte."

"Yep. They're both selfish pricks."

"Yeah I know." I said. "But you can learn from it. So maybe you could be a better father to Dawn than yours was to you."

"Things are fine between her and I."

"It will be okay later."

"It's okay now, because she doesn't know shit about me."

I hesitated, and crossed my legs one over the other. "Well, I think now you have to consider a few things. Do you want to be a full time father?"

"What are you saying?"

"Well instead of spending so much time with the club, spend it with your baby."

Tig shrugged. "No, the club needs me."

"But Dawn needs you even more."

"You know the club is first on damn near everything. It's a family-."

"Bullshit." I said. "It's that same shit Gemma and Clay have been spoon feeding you since the beginning. Look past the club, and know that this is your _real_ family."

"Well what do you want me to do, Apples? Tell Clay 'fuck you, I got to change Dawn's diaper'?"

"No, but tell him you got to be with your kid sometimes."

"You don't get it Apples."

"I don't get it?"

"Yes!"

"What don't I get?" Tig sat in silence and took a few gulps of his beer. I inhaled and exhaled deeply just thinking, when I reached an epiphany. "I think I'm seeing what is starting to get to you. You're worried that Dawn is going to hate you, like you hate your father."

"Shut up." He said, coldly and stared out the window.

"No." I said, folding my arms. "No, I think you're worried that you're going to die alone and miserable just like your father did." I scoffed at him and said. "Are you really going to choose the club over your own kid, because if you do you're going to end up the same way. You think Clay and the others are going to be worried about you when you're too old to ride? Clay is going to have Gemma and he'll be with someone when he's gone. If you turn your back on your daughter, when you need her the most she's going to turn her back on you."

"You don't know that."

"Oh yeah? Try it. Why should she care? I miss my dad every goddamn day of my life. I look at Dawn and wish he could've held her, sang to her, tell her stories, teach her to count. I wish he could've shook your hand and when he was too old I would've taken care of him till the day he died. Not place him in a home or count down till he's dead. I want Dawn to be able to say the same thing about you. You think that if you choose the club over her, she'll even want to deal with you later in life?"

"I'm nothing like my dad." Tig said, his blue eyes glaring at me. "So I would know that before you open your mouth."

"I never said you were going to treat your daughter like shit but-." There was no use in trying to talk him out of it. His mind was already made up. He was going to love his club more than he ever loved Dawn. It was the only thing he knew. The club was his family, his brothers and his only friends. He didn't know how to be a good dad.

What an emotional retard.

* * *

The funeral was short, because no one showed up except a few neighbors to pay their respects, Tig, Dawn and I, and Charlotte of course. A few of the Sons showed up to support their brother but it seemed that Tig didn't need much support. He fell asleep during the service until Charlotte hit him over the head to wake up. No one cried really, everyone seemed a little happy that he was dead.

Charlotte waited until the priest was done speaking and stood up to speak, she smoothed her black dress and adjusted her veil. She cleared her throat, and said in a voice that was trying hard to sound sad. "What can I say about Harry Trager?" she started. "Uh, he was a nice dresser when I met him at that party. One good thing came out of our union and that was my baby boy Alexander."

Jax snickered with Opie and Tig looked over the pew and made small little threats at him, which Jax reacted by acting like a child. He made another threat, something about kicking Tig to the next century or something childish. I can't wait for him to grow up. What a douche.

I pointed at Jax. "Someone's speaking!" I whispered and turned to Tig. "And you, please act mature."

"I am mature. He started it!"

"No I didn't!" Jax whispered loudly.

"I don't care who started it!" I whispered. "I'll finish it!"

Charlotte put a finger to her chin, not noticing the commotion going on in front of her. "He wasn't much of a provider, or a husband, or even a father."

"Amen." Tig said.

"But he was a funny character, in the beginning, and he did know how to pick out nice Christmas presents for himself, but he did give Alexander that toy car he wanted one year. That's it. Rest in peace Harry." She said, smiling proudly at herself. A few of the Sons clapped loudly and whistled.

"Say a few words." I whispered to Tig.

"Like what?"

"I don't know!"

He rolled his eyes and walked up to the front of the church. He cleared his throat and thought carefully. "Well Dad, Mom pretty much summed it up. Where ever you are, I hope it's hot." He nodded his head, satisfied with his speech and sat back down. I glared at him.

"You couldn't think of one nice thing to say?"

"Hmm… nope."

"Wow, your family is very dysfunctional."

* * *

When we arrived at the grave site the priest wanted to know if we wanted to say a few words. "Nope." Tig said. "I only want to hear that dirt hit that casket."

Charlotte crossed one arm over the other and sighed. "Well, like I said. I can't hate him because from him I have you." Charlotte wrapped an arm around Tig and kissed his cheek. "Now, who wants food?" she asked. "I'm buying!"

"I do!" Jax said, and soon one by one everyone started to leave including Tig. I felt sorry for Harry. Sure he wasn't a likeable guy at all, but I wish they gave him some sort of dignity, but then again I didn't know them like they did and judging by the way they were celebrating, they were super glad he was dead!

* * *

_Sorry guys I haven't done much posting in these last couple weeks. Lack of reviews meant lack of motivation for me. Plus college isn't as fun as you'd like to think. haha. _

_-Val_

_P.S: Review, please. More reviews means more chapters._


	66. Sanctuary

Anna Mae drank some of my red Slurpee as I waited for the pregnancy test results to show. It felt like old times, that was for sure. I remembered the first time I was in a bathroom waiting for a pregnancy result when I found about Dawn. Times were different, and looking back at even the way I was thinking I realized something odd... I changed. I wasn't the same girl that joined the club because of her boyfriend. I was a mother, a old lady, a victim, and now I feel like a woman. It seemed like yesterday I was the girl who was more worried about if I would have enough money to see the next grunge band in concert or catching the new dance track on the radio. Now I was pregnant for the second time. "You haven't been mixing your anxiety pills with booze right?"

"I don't drink that much, and I only take my pills when I need them. Why?"

"It makes you psychotic. Don't do that."

"Right." I said looking at the pregnancy test then at the slow ass clock.

"Don't be nervous. You could just be sick." Anna Mae said sitting down on the bathroom floor, and putting one leg over the other. "And if not… there's always other options."

"Yeah." I said looking back at the clock and drinking some more of my slurpee then looking back at the clock again. "Shit." I said. It was almost three days to the opening of my place and I had to worry if I was knocked up again.

"Would Tigger be okay with that?" she asked pushing her glasses on her nose.

"Psh." I said. "He doesn't believe in getting rid of kids if it's me. If it's a hooker or something…" I said looking at the clock for the final time. Now for the moment of truth. I took a deep breath and saw a pink plus. My stomach dropped and I plopped my ass on the floor. Anna Mae took that as a positive.

"Shit." Anna Mae said. "Sorry babe."

"Yeah." I said putting my head in my hands. "I can't have another kid. I can't take it. Its bad enough I have to worry about Dawn but another one?"

"You're not ready." Anna Mae said nodding her head and placing a arm around me.

"Yes. I'm far from it. I've just started healing and so has Dawn. Nine months of this shit. What if someone tries to attack me while I'm in labor again?"

"Calm down." Anna Mae said sitting on the floor. "Take a deep breath. You're becoming hysterical. Tig won't let anything happen to you. No one wants to go through that again. Believe me."

"You guys don't…? I don't want to. I almost lost Dawn that night and when we were kidnapped. I can't go through all that shit again."

"Talk to Tig."

"Tig isn't much on talking. He's more of this is what I say type of dude."

"Well…why not do it when he's on a run or something? I know a couple of people that could help."

My eyebrow raised. "And where am I getting the money from?"

"I'll help pay half."

"No I couldn't ask that from you." I said. "I'll take it from the savings account."

"Is it Tig's?" Anna Mae asked concernedly, knowing the little fling between the Cajun and myself.

I glared at her. "Yes!" I exclaimed. "Remy ate me out he didn't fuck me. But I wanted him to. If he had, then we'd be in a pickle." I shuddered at the thought of hoping that Tig wouldn't know if it was his kid or not. I know Tig, he wouldn't take care of a kid that wasn't his. He'd kick me out on my ass with the new kid, take Dawn and use the club against me. I thanked God that I didn't fuck Remy.

"Was he good?" Anna Mae asked with a sly smile on her face and she snagged another sip of the Slurpee.

"Mhmm." I said smirking at the thought.

"Better than Tig?"

I blushed. "I'm not telling you that. But back to the task at hand. I don't know if I should tell him yet. Tig is stressed from the club and what not. I mean he seemed okay with having another kid a few months ago, but we wanted Dawn to be a little older if we even considered it."

"Well… if he says no.. we can make it look like a miscarriage."

"Ugh, no." I said, shaking my head. "I rather not have him know. His old lady that died was carrying his kid. He's kinda sensitive about shit like that."

Anna Mae sighed. "Oh."

"I don't think I could do it. I don't know what to do right now, I guess I'll think about it tomorrow."

"Let me know okay? I worry about you, kid." She said giving me a kiss on the cheek. We sat in complete silence for several minutes before she finally said. "Damn men."

"I know. Tig can have sex with whoever he wants and not have to worry about getting pregnant. I should've been born a boy. If woman's lot in life is to have a children. Then what's mans?"

"Their eyebrows grow together." She said with a chuckle. I laughed a little but nothing could make me feel any better. Anna Mae hit me lightly on the knee. "Hey did you notice all these weirdos coming into Charming all of a sudden?"

"What weirdos?"

"These girls wearing these weird gypsy looking skirts. I saw a couple dancing for money."

"What is this? Paris 1492?"

"Look out for La Esmerlda."

I laughed. "Finest girl in France."

"Sanctuary!" Anna Mae exclaimed holding her arms up. We both started laughing like crazy. "I remember reading that book for class."

"So do I. Not bad but I didn't feel like reading it. I'll have to reread it sometime."

"Do that. Its actually a good book when it's on your own time."

I smiled and picked myself up off the floor, and dusted myself off. "Well lets wake up Dawn from her nap." I threw the pregnancy test in the trash can, and let Anna Mae lead the way. I wasn't going to tell Tig until the time was right but not now. Surely not now.

* * *

_Paris 1492? Esmerelda? Sanctuary? It's a reference to Victor Hugo's The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Read the book if you ever get the chance it's a really good read. I was watching the Disney remake of the movie over the weekend and couldn't help but place it in. Just so you guys know... gypsies still exist even to this day just not as prevelant as they used to be. _

_Thanks for reading. _

_-Val _


	67. Mmmm Mmmm Mmm

The restuarant was opening tomorrow and there was so much to get done. Small things such as is there enough forks and spoons, did I order enough napkins, is the plumbing working, is there enough food for the opening, etc. That was murder but I could handle it. One thing was bothering me and wouldn't leave me alone until I knew. I couldn't find Remy one of my cooks. The highering process was annoying too much paper work and a couple of the girls were late which put us even more behind schedule. It fucking sucked and I wanted to strangle someone. It was probably a mix of stress and hormones but it was still pissing me the fuck off that I couldn't find Remy. On top of my mountain of stress I was cooking for the boys tonight and I know I probably should be at Gemma's defrosting a turkey but I still wanted to make sure that he knew. Maybe because it was because I missed him too. I haven't seen him in weeks.

I searched around the club where he played at, back alleys, even peaked in at a homeless shelter but I still couldn't find him. I was about to give up hope when something in the back of my brain told me to go to the street where we met several months ago. I drove past him and saw him talking to two people. One was a dark skinned guy with tattoos all down his arms and the other one was a short woman with light brown hair. She dressed very bohemian from what I could tell. Too many colors put together in one setting.

I parked my car not too far from the spot and walked back to where he was. They were talking in very hushed voices and in a different lanuage. I couldn't quite pin point it but it seemed very serious judging by the look on their faces. The taller man looked at me then at Remy. Remy looked at me and muttered something to them. The man and woman walked in my direction and for some reason I stopped walking. The woman looked more like a girl, maybe around Jax's age. She looked at me, smiled and nodded her head. I smiled back but the minute I looked at the man I knew he was scary. He had a mustache but noticeable five o'clock shadow on the bottom half of his face. A tattoo lined his neck and it looked weird. It was nothing but symbols. One looked like three upside down W's, two crossed arrows, an eye, three rings, a awkward looking snake, and the top of a sun. His shirt covered what was left. I looked into his eyes, and that was the scariest part about him

A scar went down his right eye and to the middle of his cheek. The left eye was light brown but the right was darker and made of glass I think. It didn't move. He looked at me with suspicion and didn't keep his eye(s) off of me until I was out of his sight. I shivered and continued to walk to Remy, already playing his guitar.

_"Once there was this girl who, wouldn't go and change with the girls in the change room. And when they finally made her, they saw birthmarks all over her body. She couldn't quite explain it they'd always just been there. Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmmm." _he sang. I sat next to him and shook my head.

"My brother likes that song a lot. I remember he got the album and played it all the time."

"I like it too." he said.

"I've been looking for you. Everywhere. Where have you been, hmm?" I asked.

"I had to go out of town for a minute, but I'm back." he said touching my cheek with his hand. I leaned into it, and suddenly pulled away. He seemed to have gotten the message and went back to strumming his guitar. "So what did you need me for?"

"The shop is opening up tomorrow. I put you as a cook can you-."

"I've cooked many different places, Cher. I can keep up."

"Good." I said. "You start tomorrow. Be there at eight in the morning, okay?"

"Yes ma'am." he said with a forced half smile.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, which seemed redundant but he didn't look like himself. He looked troubled, maybe even depressed.

"I will be. Just some family bullshit." he said and I nodded. After several minutes of complete silence he finally asked. "Are you okay? I mean... last time I saw you, you weren't well."

"I'm doing better." I said. "Things have gotten better day by day."

"You don't look like it." he said.

"It's just nausea." I replied.

"Oh, you sick, doll?"

"I wish. I'm pregnant." I said forcing the words out but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Remy stared at me for several seconds then turned back to the ground under him. "Right." he said. "Well... congradulations." he replied.

"Hardly. It's not that I don't want another kid it's just awkward timing. I wanted to wait another year or two before I even thought about having another one."

"Did you tell Tig?" he asked.

"Nope."

"You should."

"It's his right?"

I looked at him with disbelief and nodded my head. "Yeah it is."

"Then he should know." he replied. "If you drag it out too long it'll make him question whether it's his or not."

"But he was the only one-." I stopped and rephrased my sentence. Remy and I knew pefectly well what happened that night wouldn't have caused a baby or raise concern, but it felt weird to talk to him about it. "I mean... he shouldn't have any worries about it. He doesn't suspect a thing."

"I sure hope so." Remy said quietly, his voice low and forced. "Because I am not in the mood to deal with bikers today."

I nodded my head and got up to leave. "Well I have to make dinner for the boys. You want me to come visit later?" I asked.

"No." he said shaking his head. "Spend some time with your old man."

"Alright. See you tomorrow then." I said, debating whether to give him a hug or not but I didn't. I turned around and started walking away. Half of me wanted to give him a hug, and tell him that whatever he was thinking was going to work itself out. I stopped for a second and wanted to look but I didn't... now wasn't the time.

* * *

After Gemma's potluck dinner I put Dawn to bed and I was laying on my bed reading Left Behind or something along those lines. It was some weird book about Revelations or something. Mama said I should read it and it would change my views on everything. Apparently I'm not Catholic enough for her. I'm already fifty pages in and I still don't feel any differently. Tig however wasn't doing anything stimulating, instead he was in the bathroom shitting out all the dinner that he ate. He hadn't eaten all day and he was ravenous.

"What the hell did you put in that turkey?" he asked from the bathroom after letting out a massive grunt.

"Nothing out of the usual." I said casually. "And please spray Lysol. No one wants to breathe that shit."

He's probably the cause for the hole in the ozone layer. He sprayed quickly and after several minutes he finally flushed the toilet, washed his hands, and suddenly I heard a bang. "Oh fuck!" he said.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, just knocked over the trash can."

"Need some help?"

"No I got it." he said. I didn't mind him and went back to reading my book. I didn't even look up as he came out of the bathroom. This book had finally started to get good enough to finish the chapter. "Uh, Apples." I heard him say.

"What?" I asked not looking up again but finishing the page and starting the next.

"What's this?"

"I don't know."

"Why don't you look at it?" I rolled my eyes and looked up. He was holding the pregnancy test, with a piece of toilet paper. I stared at it then looked up at him and tried to smile innocently.

"So is this yours?" he asked with the blue eyed inspective look.

"No." I lied instinctively. I could've kicked myself because of course he didn't believe me. I finally sighed and nodded my head. "It's mine.."

He didn't say much, he just threw the pregnancy test away in the trash can and laid on the bed next to me. "So what do we do?"

"I don't know, but it's very inconvient."

"I thought you were taking your pills."

"I forgot a couple of times." I said, putting my book down and putting my head on his chest. "Plus with the mix of that and the anixety pills. It was giving me heart palpitations." Tig put a hand to his forehead and dragged it down his face. "Apples..."

"It's not like we can't afford it."

"I know but didn't we agree that we were going to wait until Dawn was old enough?"

"It's not like I did this on purpose!" I snapped. "I'm about to start working and this shit happens. It fucking sucks."

"I know it does. So where do we go from here?"

"I'll deal with it when the time is right." Tig rolled his eyes and sook his head. I could tell he was already annoyed by the stupid decision I made, and the even more idiotic decision was to ignore it. "When will that be? When you're about to deliver? You can't just ignore it until you're ready Apples. It's not a toy."

"I know Tig, but I just wish if could've come later."

"You gotta deal the cards you're dealt with, kid." he said, pushing my hair out of my face. "It's gonna be okay."

"I hope you're right." I said, leaning into him. "You think we should tell Dawn she's going to have a brother or sister."

"Yeah, like she'll get it. She won't understand till later."

"Did you ever want a brother or sister?" I asked him putting my chin on his chest so I could look up at him.

"Psh." he said. "No. You?"

"Nope. I was happy with my older brother. My mom wanted more kids. She had several miscarriages so I was her miracle child."

"Some miracle." Tig said. I punched him in his side and he let out a grunt. "Ow."

* * *

_Just in case you didn't know. That song lyric was taken from the Crash Test Dummies. The song is called 'Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm'. I took it as a significance to the story. You're up to your own interpetation of the song, but I look beyond the marks simply being scars. I took it as bruises, and the "Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm" like saying "Uh huh yeah right." I took it as Apples and Tig's relationship turning and changing. It's becoming dangerous and she tries to hide it from everyone but Remy sees past the front and saying uh huh yeah right, you're happy. Hence the Mmmm Mmmm Mmm._

_I wanted to make sure no one thought I added it out of boredom. I never show you something without it having some sort of significance. _

_-Val_


	68. The Wedge

"Hurry up!" I yelled getting frustrated with the lack of staff, that had to accomplish orders a mile long. There was a line like crazy coming into the restaurant. Never had I planned for it to be this packed on opening night! I never thought I'd say it but thank God the club handed out the leaflets I gave them. Remy was the probably the fastest worker I ever seen and he did well under pressure. It would've been even better if and only if there weren't so many people and not enough staff. It was so bad I had to go behind everyone to make sure the food wasn't over or under cooked.

As the night passed the dinners became over whelming and the customers outnumbered us, we could barely get shit done. I was so fucking stressed I thought I was going to cry, when I got a bright idea. I ran out of the kitchen and to the red booth where the Sons sat drinking their beers acting like no one else needed to use the booth anytime soon. "Where's Gemma?" I asked Clay suddenly.

"Gemma?" Clay repeated.

Yes motherfucking Gemma! Do you know where she is or not? I inhaled and exhaled letting all the bad vibes slip away. "Yes Clay…Gemma."

"Oh she's outside for a smoke. Wh-."

Before he had time to finish his sentence I made my way through the crowd and looked for Gemma outside. Just as I expected she was enjoying a cigarette, while sitting in one of the chairs propped outside and looked in my direction. "I need a favor." I said pushing the words out of my mouth, leaving a bad taste behind it.

"Sure." She said with a smirk on her face. "What do you need."

"I need you, a couple other sweet butts with half a brain to cook, Bobby, Juice, Tig, and… who else can at least cut something right."

"Jackson." She said, without giving it much thought.

"Fine. I need them to be in the kitchen with me as soon as possible."

"How soon?"

"In three minutes. No more." I said returning back into the building and after three minutes flat, I saw the faces that I asked for coming into the kitchen. I didn't waste any time, instead I grabbed Bobby and Juice by the arm and placed them with the neon red haired girl (I forget her name all the time). "Just do as she says. You make desserts all the time it's not a big deal." I said. "You!" I said talking to Jax who pointed to himself in confusion. "And you!" I said pulling Tig by one arm and Jax by the other. "Cut the vegetables and fruit. It doesn't take that much brain power, believe me."

"You and you!" I said grabbing two sweet butts and placing them by Remy. "Do what he says. Whatever he says."

"Hello there." Remy said with a charming smile planted on his face and both girls blushed. I grabbed Gemma by the arm and led her to the cooking station. "Just supervise them and make sure they do it right. If it needs a little spice, do it!" I said.

"Yes ma'am." Gemma said with a nod. I felt like a Captain of a ship. Captain Apollonia The Bossy, I liked that.

I surveyed over all the others to make sure that they did it right with Gemma as my second in command. She actually did very well as my second hand man in fact… too well. She enjoyed bossing the others around especially when she knew she could get away with it. The sweet butts were the brunt of her torture but I think it was a nice role change for her to tell the guys what to do.

We were so fucking busy, I didn't even realize the time just flew by and you can bet I was pooped. I over saw the last tabled being emptied and cleaned and I sat my ass in a chair and leaned back so far I could hear my back crack. Tig sat beside me and let out a sigh of relief as he finally got a chance to sit down after a few hours and several finger cuts later.

"Jax can't cut onions for shit." Tig said wiping sweat from his brow.

"I figured he was all talk. I knew he had that look in his eye that he shouldn't be drafted for any woman work."

"Don't ever ask me to do this again." Tig said leaning his neck to the left, then back to the right cracking his aching bones.

"Oh I won't ask. I'll make you."

"How?" Tig said with an eyebrow raised. "That's right you can't!"

"Sure." I said with a smile on my face. Remy came out of the kitchen and threw a towel over his shoulder. "Kitchen is clean." He said with a exhausted look on his face, but managed to smile anyway.

"Thank you." I said. He placed a hand on my shoulder and flashed me a charming smile. "What time is work tomorrow?"

"Not till lunchtime about tweleve."

"I'll be there." He said. Tig reached over the arm of his chair, held my hand and kissed it. Remy looked at him and wrinkled his nose, but Tig didn't notice he was too busy suddenly staring at me with that want in his eye. "You have a glow about you babe." Tig said. "You look gorgeous."

"I was in the kitchen all day." I said blankly. "It's probably sweat."

"Or probably that beautiful pregnant glow."

Remy gave me a brief wave goodbye and said in a voice only above a mutter. "I'll see you tomorrow." He turned and walked away.

"Okay Remy." I said trying to find something else to say. The minute Remy walked out the door, Tig let go of my hand. I looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "What was that about?"

"What was what about?" he asked picking at some of the sugar packets on a nearby table.

"You know what I mean. Oh you're so gorgeous Apples." I said making my voice slightly deeper to mock him. "You have a glow about you Apples."

"Oh that." Tig said putting the sugar packet back. "I just felt like saying it. I can't compliment you?"

"You never compliment me on anything."

"Yes I do."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

"Well you never say it to me."

"I think it." Tig said. I rolled my eyes and got off my ass to lock up. And he calls me illogical. I was starting to get the weird feeling about those two. I couldn't explain it, but there was something there that I wasn't willing to see. Not only from Remy but also Tig. I felt sorry for the Cajun, he was really sweet but… it's not worth talking about right now.

* * *

_Review? Thanks. Mid terms are coming up so probably even slower updates but I will try. _

_Oh by the way. I put up pictures of some of the characters on my profile in case you haven't noticed. _

_-Val_


	69. Helloween

So much drama lately. It's been awhile since I posted a funny chapter.

_-Val_

* * *

I put on Dawn's lady bug antennas on her head and smiled at her. She looked so cute as a lady bug. It was Halloween night and as you can imagine we were taking Dawn on her first trick or treating, plus afterward we had a Halloween party to go to. Gemma made the clubhouse into this haunted house adventure and it was supposed to be a fun night. At least for the kids. It gave the kids something to do while hyped up on candy and the old ladies a reason to run around in less clothes than they already do.

"You look adorable baby doll." I said standing her up to make sure the dress looked right, and the ends of weren't stuck in her diaper. She smiled at me and crawled around on the bed, petting Mrs. Puff who was claiming Tig's side of the bed as her own to rest. Such a lazy lady she was. I looked at myself in the mirror for the final time to make sure everything looked alright. I was going as Morticia Adams. The long black dress looked pretty good on me and even better it made my tits look huge. I fixed my red lipstick and straightened the dress and asked Dawn. "Do I look good? Yes or no?"

"Yes." Dawn said not looking up from Mrs. Puff. "Thank you baby." I said with a smile and finger combed my hair. Tig came into our room with a stressed look on his face. "Your mother is getting on my nerves." He said through gritted teeth.

"I know. But someone has to be there to give out candy to the trick or treaters." I said crossing my arms. "Remember last year? When you and Jax ate all the candy and watched horror movies and you pretended that no one was home."

"He mostly ate it!" Tig exclaimed talking with his hands like he normally did. "For the love of God let it go."

"You were covered in Recess, Kit Kat, and Butterfinger wrappers." I said thinking back on that memory. I had spent the night helping Cassius with his kids, and Dawn with Mama. Of course Tig didn't want to be around my family and I left him alone for one night and that happened.

"Jax threw them on me I swear." Tig said lying right through his teeth.

"Whatever." I said rolling my eyes. "As long as Mama hands out the candy we're okay. " I turned to Dawn who was hugging Mrs. Puff and she nuzzled into Dawn's chest. "Awe doesn't she look precious?" I said taking my camera from the dresser and snapping a picture of her. "Would you give the pictures a rest?" Tig said. "Jesus Christ. She gets photographed more than Princess Di."

"I can't help it. She's so adorable. She should model." Tig shook his head and looked at her costume. "I thought she was going to be a skeleton?"

"No that's for the haunted house."

"I like the skeleton better."

"Well do you like mine?" I asked with a smile on my face. He looked me up and down and gave me that smile. You know…_that smile_. "Yeah I do." Tig said. "I didn't know you were going as Cher."

Cher? Where did get Cher from? I'm not that old plastic surgery obsessed whore! I'm Morticia Addams! Alright, alright. I take back what I said about Cher. She's okay in my book. I shook my head. "No hun…" I said. "I'm Morticia Addams. I said this before like twelve times."

"Oh." He said. "Well you look bitchin'."

"Bitchin'!" Dawn exclaimed waving her arms in the air.

"What did I say about the cursing? Dawn picks up on that type of shit-." I covered my mouth and stomped my foot. I really needed to watch my mouth.

"Shit." Dawn said mocking us. Well it didn't sound like shit. It sounded more like ship, but I knew what she meant.

"No baby don't say that. That's a bad word." I said.

"Shit." Dawn said again.

"No baby. Don't say that!" She covered her mouth and said. "Uh oh." She knew she was in trouble and probably wouldn't get candy so she shut up. That's my girl. "Ready to go?" I asked him picking her up and walking out the door then I stopped and looked at him. "Where's your costume?"

"This is my costume." He said.

"You're a biker. That's not a costume."

"Yes it is."

"Boring. Gemma made everyone dress up as something so you have to dress up as something too."

"I'm not wearing make up." He said with a frown on his face. I was trying to think of what he could be with what little time we had left. A pirate? No. A mummy? Too much toilet paper, besides Chibs runied that costume idea last year. A pimp? He doesnt' wear suits. I looked around the room and through our closet. I was a witch last year and still had the hat in the back of my closet. I grabbed the hat and straightened it out in a point. "There you're a witch." I said putting the hat on his head.

"No I'm not." Tig said taking off the hat.

"C'mon please." I said. "We need to go! The DeVars always have the freshest candy. Lets hurry."

"Fine." Tig said putting on the witches hat and walking out quickly. As we walked down the stairs I could hear my mothers coughing from here. It was harsh and dry. "Mama? You okay?"

"I'm fine." She said wiping her mouth with a napkin and washing her hands. She looked me up and down and shook her head. "Why are you a gothic whore?"

"I'm Morticia Addams." I said getting really annoyed. I actually considered getting a costume change. Maybe I should just be something boring and over done. Like a Egyptian, The bride of Frankenstein, or a vampire. Eh, I was a sexy vampire all throughout high school, frankly I'm sick of it.

"Well ya look like a whore." Mama said shaking her head. "Why does it seem like every Halloween these girls dress up like whores?" She turned around and looked at Tig. "Well… Witchy Poo going to cast a spell on me?"

"Oh Rosario." Tig said with a evil grin on his face. "There isn't a spell wicked enough."

She gave him the evil eye and looked at Dawn. "What a cutie." She said. "You look adorable Dawn."

Dawn smiled, clapped her hands and held her tiny palms to her mouth. Mama turned her back to us, covered her mouth and let out a harsh cough. I handed Dawn to Tig and got her a glass of water. "Another coughing spell?"

"Yeah." She said. "It comes and goes."

"If you'd rather just go and rest-."

"Apollonia, I'm fine." She said taking the glass of water and devouring it in seconds. "It's nothing." she assured me but I didn't believe her.

"I think you need to see a doctor-."

"Apollonia, it's getting late. Don't want a cranky baby on your hands, do you? I'll be fine. Now go hun."

I nodded and we headed out the door, but I was worried. Mama quit smoking about a decade or so ago, but every now and then she would still get these coughing spells. Mama was terrified of the doctor, just like my father. I worry about her and those coughing spells are getting worse and longer.

* * *

Dawn got the most candy just for flashing a smile and not being able to say trick or treat. She just stuck out her bag and gave them a beautiful smile. That gets most old people and mothers. Dawn didn't like most chocolates, but she liked gummy candy and lollipops which meant that Tig would eat the rest of it if I let him. He already started to devour her Crunch bars. He probably would've worked on the Snickers if I didn't take the bag away from him.

We went back to the house, changed Dawn's costume quickly and went to the clubhouse. It didn't look much differently. More like the clubhouse if Jack Sklellington took over as President of the SOA. She added a few fake graveyards, body limbs, cobwebs, pumpkins and lots of hay. She must've had the boys working from sun up to sun down to get the place ready. Wow, she owns them.

"Well this is nice." I said putting Dawn down after she squirmed in my arms.

"Uh…" Tig said looking at the creepy Living Dead Dolls sitting on stacks of hay. "Maybe… we shouldn't go in."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Dawn might get scared and it's getting late."

Dawn walked up to the Living Dead Dolls and picking one up and holding it close to her in a hug and walked back towards Tig. Tig backed up slowly trying to coax her away from him. "Come on Dawn stop playing... Seriously Dawn stop it...Keep that thing away from Daddy!" Tig said trying to keep his voice leveled, but every attempt came out louder than the next. She stopped and held it out to him. Tig shook his head and backed up even further. I picked up Dawn and took the doll out of her hands. "Daddy doesn't like dolls." I said to her. She put two and two together and nodded.. "Well we're going back in. Would you like to stay outside?"

"Yeah." Tig said walking far away.

We walked through the haunted clubhouse by ourselves. Children were running around, playing, and getting candy for all sorts of activities. Bobbing for apples (haha apples), painting pumpkins, face painting, and dressing up like Elvis. Jax was dressed in a black suit, his hair slicked back and styled, and a guitar slung over his shoulder, His girlfriend was on his arm. She wore a pink dress and pink heels. Her hair was curled back into Victory Rolls, and she had on bright red lipstick. It made her skin look even more pasty. She needed more a even peachy color.

"Hey love." I said to him. "What are you?"

"Johnny Cash." He said proudly. "And Tara is June."

"Cute." I said.

"Are you Elvira?" he asked me after looking me up and down twice.

Son of a bitch!

"No." I said sharply. "I'm Morticia Addams."

"Really?" Tara said cocking her head to the side. "I would say Cher."

Why not just put a sign over my neck saying 'It's whatever you think'. "Well it's Morticia Adams." I said about to lose my cool.

"Where's Tig?" Jax asked on his tip toes looking over my shoulder. I don't know why the hell he got on his tiptoes he's already taller than me. Just because I wear a three inch hell means I'm a giant. I'm not Gemma.

"Outside." I said.

"Oh the dolls?" Jax asked repressing a laugh.

"No of course not Jax." I said sarcastically. "I'll talk to you later." I said as Dawn pointed towards the face painting. Chibs who was a Mummy again and Juice (I'm guessing he's suppose to be Flava Flav, but he looks like a idiot) were in charge of it.

Dawn was a good little girl. Sitting there while she had her face painted like a true skeleton. I kept an eye on Tig to see what he was up to. He sat outside with some of the other parents, smoking cigarettes and staring off. I got one of the guys to watch after Dawn while she played with some of the kids her age and walked outside. I tapped Tig on the shoulder. "Hey. Come in. It's really fun. You should see Dawn, she looks so adorable."

"I'll see her when she comes out." Tig said blankly.

"Come on. It's not that bad love." I said offering him my hand. "We'll be in and out. I promise."

Tig stared at me for a second or two. He looked at my hand and then looked at those dolls. After a minute or two he reluctantly took my hand and slowly made his way to the clubhouse. The closer we got the tighter his hand gripped mine, and I could feel his breath turn heavy. We got to the first haystack and suddenly something popped out with a mask on it's face, and without hesitation Tig let go of my hand and punched the masked figure. Tig backed up with his fist up ready for a fight. I gasped and looked over the haystack and there sat blonde hair peaking out of the werewolf mask. Opie dressed as a zombie biker and Gemma as some sort of Indian I'm guessing Pocahontas ran behind the haystack and checked to make sure he was okay. Gemma pulled the mask off of his face. His nose was bleeding profusely and his eyes were crossed.

"Baby are you okay?" Gemma asked sitting him up.

"Mama…put it on the grill." Jax said his head spinning.

"How many fingers am I holding dude?" Opie asked holding up two fingers.

"Four?" Jax said trying to stand but falling on the haystack. "I think he needs to be looked at." Gemma said cradling Jax's head into her lap. My god Gemma he's not a baby anymore he can take it like a man.

I turned to look at Tig and he looked at me and shrugged. "Hey he startled me."

I had to admit how funny that was, and that's right I laughed at him. I laughed at him really fucking hard. So hard that my face turned beet red. Gemma shot me a demon look, even Opie started joining in with me. "I guess he wasn't expecting a punch." I said to Opie.

"And without hesitation. I wish I had a camera." Opie said laughing.

That was a _Helloween_ to remember, but unfortunately poor Jackson didn't remember squat after Tig's fist collided with his face.

* * *

_Happy Halloween! :D _

_-Val_


	70. Bella Lynn

My Mama taught Cassius and I three things that always stuck with us. Never skip on paying your taxes, it's a pain in the ass but grow a pair and get it done. Another was never talk about Uncle Julio and his "fascination" with his pet donkey and finally never visit a fortune teller. It's an old paranoid Catholic superstition, and most of all fortune tellers mess with your mind. Asking for high prices, for a simple card reading that may or may not tell your future.

After closing the restaurant, Tig and I decided to have dinner outside of Charming in this fancy diner. After having a high calorie burger and a diet Coke, we drove home and before reaching Charming we saw a string of buildings and one said in purple letters said; "Ms. Bella Facilier's Fortune Telling". I tapped Tig on his rib and he turned to me.

"What?" he yelled over the roar of the motorcycle

"Turn back!" I yelled.

"Why?"

"Lets get our fortunes done."

Tig shook his head and reluctantly turned back. We drove on for several seconds and stopped in front of the building. We both stepped off and took our helmets off. Neither one of us wanted to be the first to walk in there. He was raised as superstitious as I was. Not as badly but still, some things stick with you till the day you die.

Tig bit the inside of his lip and motioned me forward. "Ladies first."

I turned away from the purple lettering and raised an eyebrow at him. "Me? Why me? You're the big bad trigger man! You go first!"

"Well you wanted to go, so you should go first."

"Why don't we go in together?" I suggested. "On the count of three we both go in." I said. He nodded his head, and I counted with my fingers, slowly putting up each one.

1

2

3

We both didn't make a move. Damn, he tried to use the same trick, that I was planning. I was hoping he move forward so he could go first. He glared at me. "Cheater!"

"Liar!"

"My, my, my." I heard a southern drawl say from beyond the door. "You Yankees have no sense of manners, now do you?"

"What?" Tig answered back.

"One shouldn't linger in doorways." I saw the oak door open and there stood a tall woman with dark hair, and tanned skin. Her eyes were bright brown and her lips were painted blood red. She smelled of incense but looked like a gypsy woman. She had on a tight black long sleeved jacket. Under it a black shirt that exposed her cleavage. Her long blood red skirt swayed as she pressed her lean body against the door frame. "It's very rude." She smiled slyly at them. "If I didn't know any better I'd might question your upbringing." She snickered at us, and made her way back inside.

"She's hot." Tig said, before I hit him on the arm. "Ouch, goddamn woman."

I followed the woman into her shop. It was very dim, with nothing but a few candles surrounding the area. Cloths with odd designs on it covered the windows and the walls, along with several pictures of the Virgin Mary. The gypsy even had a candle lit vigil on top of the fireplace with a plaque that read "Dear, sweet Ophelia d-."

"What brings you here?" The woman asked as she fixed her make up in a cracked mirror. I wanted to continue reading the plaque but of course I was so distracted easily by the creepy den. The woman moved into another back part of the building and called. "Would you two like a cup of tea? It's raspberry. Quite delicious."

"Uh, no thanks." I said.

"Ditto." Tig replied.

"Would you like anything to eat?" she called again.

"No thanks." We both said, looking for a place to sit. In the corner of the room was a table covered with satin black cloth, and three creaky wood chairs. Oh great, another creepy thing to add to this shit hole. The woman came out, holding a cup of tea. She sat in the farthest chair facing towards us. She offered us a seat and we both hesitantly took it. She sipped her tea and placed it on the edge of the table. She cleared her throat and said with a smile on her face. "What are your names?"

"Tig."

"Apples." I cleared my throat and said. "And you are-?"

She snapped her fingers and a purple card appeared and she extended it out towards us. In purple lettering it said only "Bella-Lynn Facilier."

"Ms. Bella-Lynn Facilier," She reiterated. "At your service." She bowed slightly towards us.

"Yeah." I said giving the card to Tig who was still amazed at what she did.

"So what kind of name is that Tig?" Bella asked with her hands folded one over the other.

"Uh, it's a nickname."

"I know. Your name is Alexander correct?"

Tig's eyes widen and I felt his shoulders stiffen. "Yeah. How did you know that?"

She grinned. "Ah, it was a guess."

"What's mine?" I said leaning into the table fascinated. Bella grinned slyly at me, and said. "The name game is free, darlin'. But to get the full ride it's fifty bucks. Each."

My eyes widened and I was about to get out my seat. Overpriced shit, for a simple name game. Fuck that. Tig pulled me back into my chair and pulled out a fresh Benjamin. Bella took the money quickly and folded it neatly, placing it in her top and said. "Oh, relax Apollonia. You'll get your money's worth." I relaxed hesitantly, and sighed. "It's a simple old parlor trick don't worry. The more you relax the better it will be." She said with a untrustworthy grin

Bella took a few sips of her tea and placed the cup back on the saucer. Out of what seemed like thin air, she took out a deck of cards and cut them. She spread her arms out wide and flicked the cards into the opposite hand. Then divided them up evenly with one half in each hand and replied. "The cards will tell, the past the present and the future."

"Yeah right," I said standing up getting ready to leave. "C'mon Tig lets get out of here. Sick of this, gypsy bull-."

"Don't you disrespect me, Apples!" The woman snapped. "You're in my world now, not yours!" She looked at Tig, then at me, and cleared her throat and adjusted her tone. "I mean… your old man did happen to pay for the entire parlor trick. Might as well not waste your money." She smiled slyly. I glared at her and sat back down and folded my arms. She continued cutting the deck, showing us the entire backside of the deck, her fingers were spinning some of the cards enough for us to see the side and a bit of the middle and closed it again. She cut the deck once more and said. "Each of you take any three of your choice."

Tig took three and placed it down, and I took three. "Don't look." Bella said, with a grin on her face. She placed the cards down on the table, on the other side of the table. She flattened each of our cards out, closed her eyes with her hand over the cards, inhaled, exhaled and started with Tig. She pointed to Tig and said. "Now you Alexander are born from greed." She lifted the card and there was a fool carrying money bags. "I assume both of your parents had their own priorities in mind, before you. You didn't know true parental love, therefore affecting the way you see yourself now. Sure, you're on top of the food chain now. You have respect, money, power but everything including greed comes at a price." She snickered and turned the other card. Another fool standing on top of a pile of gold coins, with everyone at the bottom staring up at him. "If you don't prioritize now, you'll be the man you never wanted to be." She turned his final card and there was an old man alone.

Tig's face was as pale as a goth kid's make up. He stared at his future card, and Bella turned to me. "Now you my dear, you were raised spoiled, being the baby girl and all. I am the baby girl as well in my family." She turned my card, and there was a baby crib with two parents lingering over it lovingly. When I saw the father looking proudly at his baby, I smiled a little, thinking of my own dad, but Bella continued. "You're life right now is high, but your emotional stability is low. You need a man who is in your mind perfect, but you let your materialism blind you." She turned over the other card and there was a woman turning her attention to a rich looking man, while the poor man is ignored. My heart sank when I realized who it reminded me of.

Remy.

"But in the future, the you I see is happiness with the man you always wanted." She turned over the final card to see a wedding chapel with two happy people smiling. I held my final card and cradled it in my shaky hands, while Tig looked at me like he could read my mind.

Bella sat back and sipped the last of her tea. A wicked smile draped across her face. "Was that good enough?"

Not for fifty dollars! I want more!

"Yeah." Tig said getting up to leave.

"Lovely doing business with you Alexander and Apollonia." She said extending both her hands out to us, one arm crossing over the other. "Hope to see you both again." Tig looked at her hand as if she had shit on it. "Won't you shake a poor sinners hand?" she asked.

We both shook it, and she chuckled and sat back to sipping her tea. "Y'all have a nice day now, ya hear?"

"Yeah." Tig said, before exiting. I smiled at her slightly and said. "Thank you."

Tig and I hopped back on his bike and of course he didn't say another word. I think it got to him more than he thought it would. His future seemed bleak and lonely and I think I could feel what he was feeling.

"Oh c'mon, Tiggy." I as we walked into our home. "It's just a silly superstition. She used psychology. She saw your cut, assumed you had a high position because of it, or something like that. It's not a big deal."

"Whatever." Tig said, looking at his wrist and frowning. "Okay where the hell is my watch?"

I looked down at my bare wrist and my silver bracelet was missing. It wasn't _that_ important to me, but it still pissed me off that I didn't know where the fuck it was. "My bracelet is missing..." I said figuring out exactly what happened. "That fucking fortune teller." T

ig got from his chair and walked out the door. "Where are you going?" I demanded.

"Going to see that psychic cunt."

* * *

_I couldn't resists. I originally wasn't going to add it but... you know how I love you guys. _

_-Val_


	71. Caving In

"Wawa!" Dawn said pointing to her bottle sitting on the edge of the table. Dawn clenched and unclenched her tiny fist and grunted as she tried to reach for her water, but couldn't grasp it. "Wawa!" she said louder. Tig turned his attention away from opening another beer and picked up the orange bottle and held it to her.

"What do you say?" Tig asked to her.

Dawn looked at him with her head cocked to the side and tried to reach for it. "Wawa! Mine!"

"C'mon kid." Tig said a smirk on his face. "C'mon… say please."

"Wawa peas!" Dawn said reaching for it again. Tig handed it to her. "Thank you." Tig said. Dawn looked up at him with a smile on her chubby face and put the bottle in her mouth and drank her water. I smiled and stared back at the book I was reading. The only way I could really relax at the end of another long day was to crack open a book and let my imagination do the rest. After I came home all I wanted to do was read, kiss Dawn goodnight, and go to bed myself. On top of that my hormones are bugging me big fucking time, but of course Tig is a night owl and was determined to keep me up with him. I was cranky and mostly kept to myself. Sometimes I would go throughout the entire day and I haven't had a decent conversation with anyone.

"What'cha reading?" Tig asked as he touched the tip of Bunny's nose. She shook her head like Iggy does when Tig throws water on him to scare the living shit out of the poor creature. She curled her lips into a smile and chuckled.

"Madame Bovary." I said with a grin on my face. "I was forced to read it, by my high school teacher and I hated it. I hated it more than Lord of the Flies. Now I read it and it makes sense."

"Oh." Tig said. "What's it about?"

"A woman named Madame Bovary has money, is married but she isn't happy. So she takes on these two lovers, and she treats them with respect and love then they eventually leave her. She's so devastated that she kills herself."

"Sounds like a slut." Tig said looking at the cover of the book. I looked up from my book and scrunched my nose. "She wasn't a slut."

"I can sense a slut. Pure and fucking simple." I shook my head and rubbed my temple. "No hun." I said. "She wasn't. She was looking for something deeper than sex. She wanted love and love in return. She wasn't happy. She wanted more than what was expect of her and she couldn't obtain it, especially since in that time period if a woman wasn't married she had nothing."

Tig shrugged and had absolutely no comeback. "Well, well. Aren't you the little philosopher now." He said after awhile. I flipped him the bird and continued reading.

Tig wasn't the philosophical type and even less of a feminist. Of course he couldn't relate not because he dropped out of high school (well he didn't really go to begin with), and probably slept through class and didn't quite catch this stuff. Sure, I wasn't sitting up in class, paying attention to this shit either, but now that I had lived I finally understood that she wasn't some suicidal whore. I couldn't explain it then but I understood what she meant or what women felt.

Tig pulled out a pamphlet from his pocket and handed it to me. "You want to go to that?" he asked. I took it and looked at it. It was a jewelry showcase. "Sure." I said. "It'll be awhile before it's here though."

"I know. But it gives me sometime to save up some money." He said with a smile on his face.

"Really?" I asked a little touched.

"Of course. You deserve it."

"Thanks baby." I said standing up and wrapping my arms around him and giving him a kiss. It was one of those few touching moments until someone at the door had to muck it all up. I turned and looked at the clock.

7:47.

Fuck it better not be one of the Sons. This was the first time in nearly a week I had time to spend with both of my children. The little one and the overgrown one respectively.

I heard another loud knock and suddenly and a flood of sheer panic swept over me. Not only did get the shit beat out of me by Nazi skinheads, but they left the deep paranoia that they were going to come back for me. Tig looked at me then put his beer down. "It's alright, babe. I'll get it." He said. He walked out the kitchen and answered the door. There were a lot of blurred voices suddenly and a Tig yelling. "Oh shit!"

My heart started beating against my chest and my first instinct was to grab Dawn. I picked her up and held her close to me. "Wawa!" she screamed as the bottle slipped from her fingers. I peeked out of the kitchen to see what the commotion was about. A couple of cops had their guns pointing at Tig. Tig was on the floor his hands and legs spread apart. "What's going on?" I asked one of them, not comprehending the situation.

"Stand back ma'am. He's under arrest." One of them said.

"Arrest?" I exclaimed.

"Wawa!" Dawn screamed louder. I looked at her to shush and she did was she was told to. "What's he under arrest for?" I exclaimed involuntarily then I turned to Tig with an accusing look on my face. "What did you do?" I screamed at him.

"Sexual assault." One of the officers said.

"Sexual assault?" Tig asked with disbelief. "That's bullshit!"

"That's not what the girl said." One of the officers said handcuffing him and picking him up from the floor and taking him away. I was in shock. I stood still and watched him leave with Dawn in my arms holding out her arms to him, and trying to wiggle out my arms, but I didn't comprehend anything and watched him leave. Nothing hurt more than watching someone you care about so deeply you leave you without any answered. The space between us got bigger and bigger, but our eyes were still connected. I wanted answers but as I looked into his eyes more and more I was even more confused than a second before.

What could I do?

What should I do?

Could I do anything?

And what did I do?

Nothing.

* * *

I didn't say much by the end of the night, but I didn't sleep. My mind was turning and turning and I couldn't even comprehend what happened. It seemed like I woke up from a bad dream and I was still trying to make sense of what happened, but I couldn't shake it off and say it was just a dream. It was reality. _My_ reality.

I tried to sleep by closing my eyes and just counting sheep. Not thinking of anything specifically just counting.

1…2…3…4…

Sexual assault can mean many things-.

No, no, no! Don't think of that.

5…6…7…8…

Who is this bitch? A sweet butt? Stripper? Hooker? Some random bitch off the street-.

C'mon girl…don't think of that.

9…10…11…12…

Fuck it.

After trying another six or seven times I finally gave up. There was no way I could sleep with the knowledge that my old man could actually hurt another woman. It took another type of evil to do that to someone. I was tormented with both sides of the argument. I hoped he wouldn't do it, but it felt like I didn't even know him.

I picked up the phone and dialed the one number I knew to contact him in. I couldn't focus and I couldn't be alone. The future seemed eerie with the thought of being alone and pregnant. It was a scary. I had more on my plate now with the business up and running and another kid on the way. I just couldn't be alone right now… I'd lose my shit.

* * *

Remy yawned as he sipped the coffee I made him. He pushed his hair back and let it fall back in his face again. "So what happened, shug?" he asked sipping his coffee.

"Nothing…"I lied. "Just… needed someone to talk to. Someone… who wasn't going to tell me that it's gonna be okay, and I should stand by my man and support him…but how can you support someone like that. I'm losing my fucking mind! What's so wrong with having a nice quiet life! A life in a suburban house with a picket fence, a dog and two point five kids is sounding really fucking great right about fucking now!" I slowly started to unravel under pressure and when I got under pressure I started speaking in Spanish. The funny thing I didn't even realize I was losing my shit until Remy touched my hand.

"Calm down, Shug." He said with a concerned look on his face. "Take a deep breath, now tell me calmly. What happen?"

"Tig got arrested for sexual assault." I said in one weak breath.

"Shit…" Remy said sipping his coffee in silence. We both stared at our coffee and looked at each other. "I'm sorry Apples."

"Why does it seem like when I get two spaces forward I'm actually two spaces back."

"Ya just gotta keep on goin' at it Cher. Not for Dawn but the other one too."

"Sometimes I just-."

"Get tired?" Remy said in an exhausted tone. "Where I come from family is everythin'. No matter what ya always support ya family by any means necessary. Gettin' punched down is no excuse to give up."

"The club is not my family."

"I know Cher." Remy said. "I'm not talking about the club. I'm talkin' 'bout you and ya own flesh and blood. You always put them before everythin' else."

"I just…" I hesitated, and sipped my coffee. "I just don't understand… how he could do something like that to another woman…it's…insane."

"Cher, do you honestly believe that Tigger could do something so cruel?"

I stopped and stared down at the ripples coming from the middle of the mug and going out. Sure, Tig was disturbed, demented, borderline sociopathic, and above all a lusty can't get it in his pants to save Mickey Mouse fiend, but he did have a heart of gold underneath it all. He saved Dawn and I and I love watching him play with our kid but… could he?

"I…I don't know. No. No." I said nodding my head. "I doubt it's true."

"Right." Remy said with a nod. "So no worries, and be strong. He'll probably need ya support. Oh, is he close to his mama?"

I shrugged. "They're alright. Why?"

"Because if his case makes it into trial. He's gonna need a character witness. Always turn to ya Mama. They'll stick by ya no matter how wrong ya are."

True fact!

I half smiled and sipped my coffee again. "Do you have experience with this or something?" I asked.

Remy was in the middle of finishing his coffee when he looked up at me and swallowed hard. "No. Well…actually… yeah."

My eyes widened and I shook my head. "No way!" I said with a gasp. "Remy was a criminal."

"Petty shit."

"What happened?" I asked leaning with interest.

He shook his head. "One day I'll tell ya, Cher. But it's too long of a story."

"I got time."

"Still not enough time for me to explain."

I raised my eyebrow and sipped my coffee. "Can I ask you a delicate question?"

"Only if you want a delicate answer."

"Are you coming here because you are concerned, or are you trying to sleep with me."

Remy raised an eyebrow and almost spat out his coffee. "Wow…"

"Just tell me flat out. Because if you're trying to get your dick wet. Fucking a married pregnant chick is pretty messed up."

"No. I didn't come here for that reason, Cher."

"Good."

"It's not that messed up." Remy said with a grin on his face. I rolled my eyes and sipped my coffee. "I mean if she isn't showing then I could say I didn't know."

"If Tig found out…"

"I ain't gonna tell him as long as you won't."

"I think you're making a proposition."

"No way!" he exclaimed. "I'm simply sayin' if it did happen then its not messed up. Pregnant women still have sex too."

"Yeah I know." I said. "But it's still kinda messed up."

Remy shrugged. "Only if it's messed up to you. Then it becomes messed up."

"Hmm…" I said, wishing I could have a drink and a smoke. I just needed to relax. "I'm gonna lay down." I said getting up and putting my mug in the kitchen sink. Remy looked at the clock, got up, placed his mug in the sink as well and slipped on his leather jacket. "Yeah I should be headin' back too."

"You don't have to go." I said walking up the stairs. "I just want some company.

No. No. No. No!

I don't have plans on fucking him. I just didn't want to sleep alone tonight. Plus he was the only guy I could trust that he wouldn't try anything while I slept.


	72. Strawberries

"Hey…" I heard a whisper say and felt gentle tapping on my cheek. "Apples wake up." I slowly opened my eyes and saw Remy looking at me with a hand on my cheek. At first I panicked and thought it was just another fucking nightmare. You know the ones where you're about to have sex with a delicious Leonardo DiCaprio and you're almost sure it's real only to wake up to see that same MC old man of yours trying to get a little feel before he leaves for a run. I was almost sure that Tig's arrest was a dream, and I would wake up to another bright day in Charming, but much to my dissappointment it all had been real. Well at least I ahd I stretched and yawned. "What's up?" I asked.

"Nothing. Dawn wants you." Remy said getting out of bed and putting his jeans on. "She's been calling you for a couple minutes now."

"Oh…" I said sniffing, throwing my legs on the side of the bed and rubbed my eyes. I forced myself to get up and go to her room and pretend that I loved her for disturbing my two hours of sleep. He was right. Dawn was standing up in her crib and talking in her baby language. "Hey baby." I said picking her up and holding her close. "You okay?" I asked her, kissing her hand and holding it in my mind.

"Dada." She said looking over my shoulder, like Tig was going to pop up around the corner at any second.

"He's not here right now. I miss him too." I said taking her to my room and laying her on our bed and turning on the television.

"She's gotten big." Remy said ticklng under her cheek. She looked at him and smile her little pudgy girl smile.

"Yeah she's growing and growing every day." I said closing my eyes and trying to go back to sleep or at least tried to. It would've been fine if Dawn hadn't been talking along to Big Bird and Elmo in Sesame Street. "Babababababa!" she said.

After almost an hour of trying I finally gave up, and watched TV with Dawn and Remy. I was getting really cranky but hey you would too if you hadn't barely slept the entire night. It hurt to blink. Remy looked at Dawn fondly and turned back to me. "You want some coffee?" he asked noticing me nodding off.

"I guess I have to…" I said. "I have to get up in a few hours and face the goddamn music."

"Ah you're seeing him?" Remy asked with a concerned look on his features. "I'll make you some coffee then."

Remy got up and rustled Dawn's hair. She turned to him, her tiny fist balled and started trying to talk to him probably wondering who he was, and what he did to her hair, but then she turned back to Big Bird and that trash guy. Oswald or Oscar or some shit. Whatever the homeless dude who lives in a trash can. Kind of reminds me of Darby in a way. Maybe the Sons should go up to Darby like the annoying five year olds on Sesame Street. They'll ask; "Darby why are you so grumpy?" "Darby why are you so mean?" I could only imagine his response. He'll probably get angry and scream about the white mans problems. Blah. Blah. Blah. It's like talking to Piney after he's had too much to drink.

But I digress...

I closed my eyes and what seemed like a couple seconds later the smell of coffee greeted me. I opened my eyes and saw Remy pouring clear liquid into his coffee mug and slipping the bottle back into his jeans pocket. "What are you doing to your coffee?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Just a pick me upper." He replied. "Want some?" he asked.

Awesome Cajun. Now on top of Tig going to jail with barely any income my baby will look like a Agent Orange freak show. "Pregnant, remember?" I said.

"Sorry I forgot. Here." Remy said holding out a cup of coffee to me. I sat up, sniffed it and sipped on the coffee. Dawn rested beside me staring at the television. "You sleepy Bunny?" I asked tickling her belly. She didn't smile and giggle like she used to. She probably missed Tigger and on top of that didn't get much sleep herself. "I know baby. You miss Dada, but we're going to see him today baby."

"Remy," I said. "Will you drive me? I don't think I'll be able to drive back."

"Sure." Remy said. "Anything for you."

"Don't flatter me right now, Cajun." I said sipping my coffee. "I'm so tired."

"You were tossin' and turnin' pretty bad."

"I was having nightmares. Did I keep you up?"

"No. I rather have ya toss and turn next to me, than leave you all by ya lonesome."

"If you'd rather stay in the bordering house-."

"No Cher. I'm fine." He said taking my hand and kissing the top. I smiled a little and squeezed his hand. My heart felt light as a feather, and my eyes started drifting down toward that body of his. Oh damn him! Not wearing a shirt in front of me. It's like putting a strawberry cheesecake in front of me and telling me not to eat it. It's cruel I tell you. Then I came back to reality- and pulled my hand from his. I shoved my hair behind my ear. "Well can you watch Dawn? I'm going to take a quick shower." I didn't wait for a response instead I got up and closed the door to the bathroom.

Fucking charming Cajun kissed my hand. The memories of what we did before came back to me. I wasn't disgusted with myself like I should've been, but I didn't want to make the same mistake again. Not now, when things were just getting better. I wanted to save whatever was left of Tig and I's relationship, make a better life for my children. I couldn't fuck this up.

I was busy thinking that I didn't realize I had been standing under the shower head for so long that the water was turning cold. I stepped out of the shower, with a towel around my body as I picked something out. I pulled out a pair of jeans, a shirt, and my high heeled boots. I didn't see Dawn or Remy in sight so I threw off the towel and put on my undies and walked around in that as I did my hair. I dried my hair and started to straighten it when I heard footsteps coming toward my room.

Perhaps I should've done the proper thing and closed the door or covered up, but I didn't want to. For whatever reason I felt it was my house and I had a right to walk around in my undies if I wanted to. Despite who was in my house.

"Cher?" I heard Remy say as he entered the room. Remy didn't seem too shocked or stunned, he got a good two second peak at me but soon turned his back to me.

"Yes?" I asked.

"What food does Dawn want for breakfast?"

"Top cabienet second shelf is her cereal but sometimes she likes her fruit." I said. "It's fine. You don't have to turn your back."

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm covered for the most part." He turned around and was trying his best to keep his attention on my eyes, but I know he was thinking of one thing and one thing only. Every man is the same.

"Thanks for feeding her." I said with a smile.

"Sure Cher." He said walking back downstairs. I finished my hair, put on make-up and clothes and walked downstairs to check to mak sure he hadn't killed himself yet. To my surprise Dawn was sitting in her high chair, mouth open as Remy gave her another slice of something.

"Mama!" she said spotting me and reaching out towards me. I held her tiny sticky hand in mine and kissed her cheek. I looked over to see Remy dicing up strawberries for her. "She wanted strawberries Cher."

"Beresse!" Dawn said, trying her hardest to say berries and reached for another one and Remy gave one to her. "Well hurry. I got to get her bathed, changed and figure out what she's going to wear."

"Alright." Remy said. She looked so cute as she pushed strawberries into her mouth and chewed. She looked up at me and smiled with red around her mouth. She looked like she killed a man.

"Beresse!" she said again.

* * *

Tig was waiting in a tan jumpsuit with handcuffs on his wrist. My heart nearly dropped through my ass just thinking about what he would or wouldn't say. Time seemed to be going really slow as I walked closer and closerto him. I tried to search his eyes for some truth but that did no good.

"Where's Dawn?" he asked.

"You'll see her later." I said, sitting in the chair opposite of him. "The agents, cops or whatever the hell they're called has her. Now what the hell happened?" I asked cutting to the chase.

"Nothing!" he exclaimed, the tension that had been built reached his course. "Nothing! I don't even know who this bitch is. No one has told me shit since I got here and it's pissing me the fuck off."

Welcome to my world.

"You must've done something to piss her off."

"No shit." He snapped. His face softened when he saw that look on my face. I was already pissed off and he had enough nerve to get mad at me. I didn't tell him to hurt anyone. "Sorry I'm just so fucking pissed."

"You think you're pissed? I don't know if I had a child with a rapist."

"Don't say that." Tig said his hands curling in and out of a fist. I'll say what I fucking want Trager! It's not everyday that this shit happens. "What am I suppose to think Tig?" I exclaimed. "I need you to tell me everything you know. I want truth. I may not be a lawyer or anything but I'm smart enough to know when someone's feeding me lies and I need to know everything Tigger. No matter how much it hurts."

"You want my opinion?" he asked. "I think it's my ex…Carnegie."

"Oh you've gotta be kiddin' me Tig!" I exclaimed slamming my head on the table. I wanted to take out those blue eyes of his. Did he really have THAT low self control that he had to have sex with her? "She's a skanky ass ho and you fucked her?"

"No…well yes." Tig said. "She caught me at a off moment."

"I slammed my fist down on the table again. I want to kick someones head in! "Oh fucking A Tig! You can't keep it in your pants to save your goddamn life!"

"Just listen." He said I folded my arms and gave him a death glare. "Well…she's fucking psycho. I knew she was crazy before but… she's insane!" Tig ran his hand through his hair and said. "She started hanging around the clubhouse. I didn't notice because well… I don't look at their faces but she was doing weird things. Like staying around all the time. Like she had nowhere else to go. Started peaking in my room and shit. It was really fucking creepy. Then Clay and I told her that she had to leave the clubhouse forever. She said if we didn't take back what we said she'd go to the cops and say that we beat her. Of course we didn't give a shit. What was she going to say? She didn't have a scratch on her. Then she started hitting herself like crazy, slamming her head on the bar and shit. I stopped her but that was fucking freaky."

Damn she pulled a Mark Whalberg in Fear.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "Then how did she get sexual assault."

"How should I know?" Tig asked. "She's insane. We tried to get some of the girls to scare her off but she wind up scaring them. She snuck into my room, all that shit Apples she's a fucking nut."

"If they can't find any evidence that they hurt you then you're clear right?"

"Sure yeah…but that doesn't clear my name. It's still in the system."

"Jesus Christ…"

Wow Tigger you sure know how to weed them out.

"I told you I'm not like that Apples." He said. "I don't know why you'd think any differently."

"I'll tell you why… how would you feel if every moment in your life was taking a turn for the worst. Damn it! How many people do you know that has to go in and out of jail for whatever fucking reasoning. Bailing someone out doing this for the club, taking this for the club! Is it too much to ask my man to just stay out of trouble?"

"Your hormonal." Tig said. "It's not _that_ bad."

"Yes it is!" I said. "All we do is fuss and fight. I'm sick of it Tig! Something's gotta give!"

"You think this is because of the club? This happens to everyone. Lawyers, doctors, all that shit."

"It's not just this!" I said. "I'm tearing my goddamn hair out because this seems to be the norm for you. I don't want this to become a every day thing. Everything that could go wrong has! I'm twenty six years old Tig. I shouldn't be having gray hairs."

"You're going gray?" Tig asked.

"No! I found a couple here and there, but that's beyond the point. I miss the days where this used to be fun."

"It's just a rough patch." Tig sighed wth a shrug. "We get this every couple of years. Some people die, some people get hurt but you keep on moving. I can't believe you're being such a wimp."

"Just because I want a stable environment for my kid doesn't mean that I'm a wimp."

"You're acting like a wimp!" Tig said. "If you can't handle the club then why are you still here?"

"Because. I. Love. You!" I said slamming my fist on the steel table with every word. "You think if shit got tough and I didn't care I would stay as long as I did?" I asked. "No! I do love you and I do care about you Trager! You're just being a careless ass! None of this would've happen if you could just keep it in your pants to save your life!"

Tig was in Tiggy Pout and tapped his fingers against the steel table. Those blue eyes were on me, and I know he was thinking of every nasty word in the book to call me but he didn't even fucking dare. I was all he had left. "I want to see my kid." He said after several seconds.

"Fine." I said, getting up and stomping out of the room.

* * *

_Remember Carnegie? The crazy ex wife? Yep. :)_

_-Val_


	73. Aftermath

I didn't say much. Not when I got in the car. Not when we got home. Not even when Remy picked me Chinese food. I was completely quiet. So quiet I think I even put Dawn to sleep. I placed her in her crib and turned off the light. Remy was waiting by the door and motioned me to the bedroom.

"What's wrong?" he asked me. My husband has been arrested for sexual assault for a crazy ass female, how do you think I'm feeling?

"Nothing." I said in almost a monotone voice. Remy raised an concerned eyebrow and took my hand. "You don't have to tell me now, Cher. I didn' mean to get in yer business."

I felt a smile creep across my face and I looked at his hand touching mine. "When I'm ready. I don't even know right now. I rather tell you when I know what's going on myself."

"Okay." He said, taking the other hand and touching my cheek. "You should smile more Cher."

I know what you're trying to do Cajun…

"Why?" I asked.

"Ya have such a pretty smile."

…And whatever you're doing. It's working. Keep talking Cajun!

"Do I?" I asked.

"Of course. If I were Tig I couldn't wait to get out of the big house. I got lovely girl waitin' for me."

Speak more words Rhett Butler!

"If you're trying to melt the panties off of me…" I said.

It's fucking working!

"I'm not Cher. I'm just telling you pure facts. Straight from my old heart." He said holding my hand to his chest. I slipped my hand from his and tried my best to shake off that feeling. You know…the feeling like you could just hump someone? That feeling.

"Do you want me to fix you a drink?" I asked with a smile on my face.

"I thought you'd never ask Cher." He said with a charming smile on his face.

* * *

_Short but I got a long one tomorrow. Yes tomorrow. Only if you continue reading and reviewing. :D _

_-Val_


	74. Scalping

_It's a little long so make sure you have time to read it._

_Enjoy._

_-Val_

* * *

It was almost three in the afternoon and I was still sleeping. I had woken up several times before but I refused to get out of bed. I didn't want to fucking move, but could you blame me? Soon I heard the phone ring. I cursed under my breath and slowly answered the phone. "Talk to me." I said my face still flat on the pillow.

Gemma's voice was on the other side and I wanted to shit a brick. Fucking A.

"Apples? Hey sweetie. How are you holding up?" What kind of question is that? Am I supposed to be great?

"Peachy. Sleepin'." I said.

"Are you available in an hour or two?"

"No." I lied. Of course I was available, but I didn't want shit to do with any of them. Fake smiles, and laughs. Oh the ass kissing. "I got to uh… take Dawn somewhere."

"Well become available in an hour or two. We need you to do the club a favor."

FUCK! If SAMCRO had one neck my hands would be around them and I'd choke all of them down.

"What is it?" I asked my hand covering my face as I tried to get myself up.

"You'll see. See you then." She said before hanging up.

I hung up the phone and let out a scream into the pillow. I laid there for several minutes pissed the fuck off about all this shit. It's a shame I was born with only two middle fingers. Remy came in with Dawn in his arms. "You alright?" he asked.

"No. But I will be when I find out what the hell do they want."

"Who?"

"Who do ya think?" I asked getting out of bed. He sat on the side of the bed and wrapped an arm around me and gently massaged my shoulders. "Take it lightly Cher." He said. "It could be any small lil' thing."

"Not with them. They need favor after favor it's really fucking frustrating."

"I'm sorry Cher. Want me to go?"

"I do but you can't. The club will get suspicious."

"Oh yea…the Cajun is wooing the biker bitch? Hmm..?"

"You're not wooing me into anything swamp blood. Remember that."

"Yes ma'am. As I live and breathe."

"What have you and Dawn being doing all day?" I asked him as I tickled her stomach.

"Oh you know. Eatin', playin' and watchin' television mostly. I didn' want to wake you."

"Well thanks. Do you have any kids?" I asked. The charming little smirk that was usually planted on his face turned into a blank look. "It's a long story Cher…" he said softly.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Maybe another day." He said, running a thumb down my cheek. I knew something wasn't right. Normally people would say yes or no, but he seemed a little withdrawn. "Well whatever happened, I'm sorry." I said putting my head on his shoulder. "Don't be sorry." He said. "You did nothin' wrong. Why are you sorry?"

"I'm sorry for what happened."

"It couldn't be helped." He said sliding his thumb up and down my cheek and to the side of my neck. "Don't worry about me Cher."

"I care about you. Telling me not to worry is like telling Tig to keep it in his pants which apparently is asking too much."

"You'll find your separate way."

"You're saying I should dump him?"

"No. I'm sayin' ya playing a losin' game. Someone has to give in and accept the other."

"It's a mess." I said pushing my hair back. "Are you saying this so I'll be with you Cajun?"

"Honestly?" he asked. He nodded his head. "I am. He's not good for you. Look at you Cher. You're worn out."

I smirked and placed my head close to his. So close that his lips were practically touching mine. He gave me that smirk, like he wasn't going to kiss me till I gave him the nod. I kissed his cheek and jumped off the bed to the bathroom.

* * *

"So you'll be okay with Dawn?" I asked putting on my sunglasses. Remy nodded and adjusted Dawn on his hip. "Well if you need anything try calling the clubhouse."

"Won't that be a little suspicious?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. I nodded. "Yes. But right now I couldn't give two shits coming out of Donald Ducks ass."

"Ass!" Dawn exclaimed.

"Don't say that baby." I said. "That's a bad word." I kissed her cheek and wrapped an arm around Remy and pulled him into a gentle hug. "You're a dear." I said kissing him quickly and walking to my car. I turned back to look at him and that grin on his face. I had to bite my inner cheeks to keep me from smiling back at him.

Fucking Cajun….with a nice ass.

* * *

"Why do I have to do it?" I asked with my head on my balled fist. I felt like I was put on the spot. Like there was a little man with a light on me and the whole club had their pointer fingers ready to shove it in my face and say 'AHA! WE KNEW WE COULDN'T DEPEND ON YOU TO USE AND ABUSE!' If I said no I would be a traitor but if I did and failed I would be a martyr for their cause. That was no option! It's a mental death sentence!

"You're the only one who knows Laroy personally. He'll listen you." Gemma said trying to keep me balanced. "Niners and Samcro haven't been on good terms lately. We don't need any more bloodshed on our side at least."

"So you want me to be the diplomat right?" I asked. Clay and Gemma looked at one another and then turned back to me. "Yes." Gemma said. "It will only be for a little bit. We need to get some income coming our way, especially with Tig being locked up. Hun, we can't let Laroy get guns from anyone else but us. Do it for the club. Do it for Tig. He needs you more now than ever."

That would've worked about a year ago, but I'm too pissed to even think about him right now. Every time his name comes through my ear drums and out I think of him getting run over by a bus. "Fine." I said. "Give me a fucking phone."

"Thank you." Gemma said.

"Yeah, yeah." I replied. "I'm a little cranky. I'm only knocked up and haven't pooped in almost four days and on top of that my old man got arrested for banging some broad. I'm not in the best of moods as you can see."

"Ew." Jax said with a twisted look on his face.

"I've been there." Gemma said. "With two husbands."

Are you talking about jail or pooping? I'm assuming jail.

"Right, okay." I said snatching the phone from Chibs and dialed the one number I knew to call. As the phone rang I couldn't help but wish I had popped this morning because I think it was starting to fester inside of me…too much information? Too bad! You can't unsee that!

Finally I heard a chick's voice. "Yeah?" she asked. She seemed pissed.

"Yo, put me on the phone with Laroy." I said talking with the Rican/Brooklyn accent that I was famous for.

"Whose dis?" I heard.

"It don't matter who it is. I need to talk to Laroy! Put 'em on the phone. Go on." I said.

She muttered something and put me on hold. I looked back at the club who gave me an eyebrow up look. "What?" I asked. "Don't worry about it." I said. Jax looked at his best friend Opie and said. "Is that like a code speak or something?"

"I don't know dude." He whispered.

"No." I snapped. "If I came on the phone talking like you then they would think I'm some white chick who wants money from her baby daddy." They gave me another blank stare. "If you grew up in Oakland then you would understand. You know what I mean?" I looked and saw Juice nod his head. "See he knows what I mean." I said.

"I know what you mean." Jax said trying to seem to know cultured outside of Charming.

"You would not know what I mean. I think that's what you meant to say." I leaned back in my chair and waited for Laroy to respond. Piney touched his sons shoulder. "That's just the way their kind talks to one another."

"Their kind?" I asked with a raised eyebrow toward Piney. "And what's _your_ kind Piney?" I asked. "Taking over someone else's land and turning them Christian against their will? Just an FYI Piney Indians learned how to scalp from the English."

Look it up kids!

"Alright, alright." Clay said trying to keep the peace. Piney gave me a cold glance and I gave him the look to do something.

Son of a bitch. Old fart Piney… I hope he gets mouth cancer. I said it! Yes I did!

Finally I heard a cool voice say. "Hello?"

"Hey." I said. "What's up?"

"Not much. What you up to?"

"Nada. Just you know…hanging around."

"I heard about what happened to ya old man. That's too bad."

"Eh." I said. "What are you gonna do?"

"Roll with the punches. It ain't no thing."

"Yeah. We got another one on the way." I replied.

"Word? Congrats."

"Yeah…" I said. "Well… you know."

"So why the call all of a sudden?" he asked.

"You're probably going to kill me Laroy but I need to ask you a favor. It's for the club."

"Shit." He said. "I knew it was odd that you called me. Alright. I'm listening."

"The club heard that you're going to get the crappy guns from the Russians."

"Yeah." He said. "SAMCRO and the Niners haven't been having the best of a relationship. I can't tell you the details, you understand."

"Of course." I said nodding. "But we need your support now more than ever. With my man in jail, there's not a lot of money coming toward our way, and I doubt I'll be able to get a check up on the little one."

"Hmm…" I heard him say.

I was Cinderella once for a play back in the day. It's been awhile since I played such a huge acting role but I think I was doing a pretty good job. "I'm not saying this for the club Laroy. For old times. You saved mine and my daughter's life and there's nothing we can do to repay that but I need just this favor."

"Apples…" he said. "Fine. For a little bit, but I can't promise it's going to be forever."

"Thank you." I said. "Much love."

"Yeah, yeah. You're lucky you're a friend."

"And I appreciate every second. Thank you." I said hanging up the phone. I didn't realize how close everyone had gotten to me trying to hear the conversation. I raised an eyebrow. "What?" I asked. "Back the hell up give me some air. Goddamn."

What? You would do if you saw a collage of all their faces in your face. They're not oil painting you know. I mean smelling everyone's beer and cigarette smelling breath is torture. Maybe they should learn to breathe through their noses.

"What did he say?" Clay snapped.

Calm down Clarence. Mr. Antsy Pants.

"He said he would for a little while but maybe not forever."

"Good!" Everyone said breathing a sigh of relief.

"Awesome." I said. "Well my job is done here peeps. Now if you'll excuse me I have to pee like Seabiscuit." I said walking off to the bathroom.

* * *

I walked up to my house to see Remy standing outside smoking a cigarette with two other people. Shit. Shit. Shit. My first thought the neighbors were questioning him then I remembered that our neighbors couldn't give a shit about us. Knowing who Tig was they minded their own business, and then I thought great more random people visiting my house snooping around.

It was a brown haired man and a black haired woman. She looked like she was a little bit taller than me but not by much. I got out of the car and took off my sunglasses.

"Remy. What's going on?" I asked.

Remy put the cigarette to the side of his mouth. "Sorry Cher. This is…" The brown haired man turned around and beyond all reason he was smoking hot! He looked kind of like Remy only he had blue eyes rather than green. He had a bit of a beard unlike Remy. More like scruff I would say. The woman next to him had blue eyes as well and short black hair and red lipstick and an odd tattoo running down her forearm, but I couldn't get a good look at it. She looked pretty tough and a bit scary but whatever.

"I'm Louis." He said holding out his hand to me. I held out mine and he kissed it. Oh and my heart fluttered. He had the same Cajun accent and the same weird tattoo running down his inner arm forearm that I saw on the woman, and Remy. Where the hell did I see it? "And you are Apollonia?" he asked.

"Yes." I said a little taken aback by his mannerism. "Yes I am."

"Beautiful name for a beautiful woman." He said still holding my hand and staring through my soul with those blue eyes. They weren't as icy as Tig's but just as beautiful. The woman looked at him then looked at me and hit him on the arm. Louis turned his attention to her and then back to me. "This is my wife Vanessa."

"Hello." I said giving her a smile but was still staring at him.

"Yes, hello." She said barely looking at me.

Why are all the good looking men married to bitchy women? Well I guess the same can be said about Tig and I. We all stood there for several seconds in silence when Louis smiled and patted me on the shoulder. "Well y'all have a nice day."

"You too." I said watching him leave. The backside looked just as good as the front side. They headed to their car and left. I turned back to Remy and was still in heaven. "Uhm… who were those people?"

"That's my brother Louis." He said. "And that was my sister-in-law Nessa. Don't worry she can be bitchy with everyone."

"Okay but why were they here?"

"Family shit." He said. "Don't worry about it Shug."

"I will worry about it. If they're going to show up at my house I'll poke my nose in whatever I want to. Now what were they doing here?"

Remy pushed his hair back. "I can't tell you right now Cher. I wish I could but I can't babe. I'm sorry."

I crossed my arms. "No, Remy. You'll tell me now. Either you give me the truth or you get out."

"Alright." He said taking another drag from his cigarette. "My family are harboring some ill feelings toward me. I walked out on them so I could travel around."

"They're very family orientated or something?"

"Very. Its their life. Without family you have nothing. Louis came here to remind me of that."

"Came all the way from the Bayou to tell you that? Couldn't they just called?"

"I wasn't going to pick up any phone call from them."

"Do you guys have a family crest or something?" I asked, remembering the tattoo.

"Uh…you could say that." He said lifting up his shirt to show me the same symbol tattoo I saw on that scary tall man a while ago, Louis had the same and Vanessa. "Do you know a man with a glass eye?" I asked.

Remy's eyes widened and narrowed at me. He flicked his cigarette and leaned on the house. "How do you know him?" he asked darkly.

"I uhm…"

"Stay away from him Apples. I mean it. Don't cross his path ever again."

"Why?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

"I can't tell you now…just stay away from him please? Promise me that?" He looked pretty worried and it was getting me panicked. I didn't see the big deal in that son of a bitch. Sure he looked kind of scary but if Remy was that panicked then it must've been that bad.

I nodded my head. "I wish you'd tell me why."

"I can't…" he said. "He's just bad news."

Son of a mother duck! I need to pick better choice of people to hang out with.


	75. Boredom

_So the last couple chapters have been a little heavy with Remy, Tig and Apples. _

_So I decided to make a silly chapter. I wrote it when I was bored in biology class. _

_-Val_

* * *

I'm bored.

I'm so bored.

There's nothing to do.

I already finished the paperwork I needed to complete, cleaned up my office, checked my email, doodled a turkey with a pilgram hat, and made a few phone calls. I even tried writing a song but poetry wasn't my best subject in high school. It came off as a simple nursery rhyme. I tried to make it more complicated to express my feelings about Tigger but all that came out was so pathetic that I threw it away.

I'm so bored.

I rode my wheeled chair from one end of the room to the other and spun in circles for a few minutes then went back to doodling.

I'm so bored.

I doodled Tig yelling at me mostly screaming "Blah Blah blah! I AM the Sergeant at Arms! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! I'm important! BLAHHHH! Want to hear me talk about something you wish not to know about! BLAH! BLAH! It will be about something in my life that may or may not be true! BLAHHHH! I'm scared of dolls but I'm tough! I ran away from a gorilla that was still in its cage! BLLAAAHHH!"

Then I drew me on a tank running him over.

I'm so bored.

I tried to walk around the kitchen looking for something to do, or even asked some of the customers if there food was alright. They gave me a polite nod and smile but in their heads they were wondering why is she here and how can we make her go away? That killed only two minutes.

I tried taking a nap but my mind was so bored that it was active in thinking of ways of making me unbored so therefore I was still up. So I went back to doodling. I drew Gemma jumping out of an airplane. In the next part of the paper her parachute wouldn't open so she falls flat on the ground and then her parachute deploys. That was funny. It was so funny I posted it on my wall next to Dawns drawing. It was mostly circles of different colors meshed together but it was still beautfiul because she made it for her Mommy.

That killed only fifteen minutes.

I turned on the radio and tried to find a station I would like. I caught the end of She Bop only for it to turn to some weird song that I didn't know. I tried to get into it and be up to date like I used to be before I pushed out Dawn but in the end it wasn't my bend. I never thought I would feel old in my late twenties.

I'm so bored.

After killing another couple minutes by making paper airplanes and paper boats, I decided to call Anna Mae but of course she was busy. Then I started to make a list of things I could do when I get home.

1. Do the laundry.

2. Clean up the basement.

3. Clean under Tig's side of the bed.

4. Finish reading Madame Bovary (wouldn't you know I didn't bring it with me.)

5. Put up some more pictures of the family.

6. Thank Uncle Wladek for his birthday wishes. (He forgets mine and Cassius's birthday so he sends us money and a card every couple of months).

7. Buy more bras.

8. Remember to buy laxatives. (I haven't pooped that much in three days)

9. Oh yeah and Feminine Wash is needed. (I ran low)

By the time I finished that list I couldn't think of anything else then I was getting silly. Like who the hell needs more pens when I have a million of them hiding everywhere around the house?

I'm so bored.

I went out to buy my lunch then I came back and it killed barely ten minutes. I ate it and threw the trash into the waste paper basket like a basketball star.

I tried sleeping and that did no good. I woke up about a half an hour later only to find that I had been drooling on my couch and half of my face was covered in my own saliva.

Ew.

I'm so bored.

I'm so bored.

I'm so bored.

I tried to teach myself how to burp that alphabets considering that's what Jax and Opie find funny to do at the dinner table. The older guys joined in while the women finish their dinner in the living room. I only got to C and then I realized what a moron I must look like. Then I went back to doodling. It was mostly eskimos this time. I don't know why but they were on my mind.

I wanted to see if I could still do a hand stand and that failed. I don't know why I did this considering I'm pregnant but the only thing that happened was I banged my knees. Oh well.

I started picking out names for the kid but that didn't keep my interest.

I'm so bored!

I tried sleeping again and a weird dream scared me awake.

I'm so fucking bored!


End file.
